The Best 39 Cane Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Cane jokes. There are some cane crutch jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cane cane toad puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Cane Jokes and Puns
I may be sweet like sugar,
but I'll still beet you with my cane!
An elderly Japanese man...
An elderly Japanese man was walking behind me as I was entering a store. Since he was older and walked with a cane, I held the door for him. As he walked pasted he said, "Sank you" with his accent. So I punched him in the face and said, "How dare you bring up Pearl Harbor like that!"
An old married couple are sitting on their porch one morning...
...when suddenly the old lady lashes out with her cane and hits her husband on the knee.
"Ow! What'd ya do that for?" He asked.
"That's for 60 years of bad sex!"
He stewed in silence a few moments, rubbing his knee. All of a sudden he took his cane and thumped his wife on her knee.
"Ow! What's that for?"
"That's for knowing the difference."
A blind man walks into a pharmacy...
... and almost immediately starts to knock into displays and topple products with his white cane. The pharmacist rushes over and asks if he can help him with anything.
"No thanks, I'm just looking."
What do canes and blue pills have in common?
They're both ready for use when a man is limp.
What does a candy cane say to another candy cane during a strong storm?
**Hurry**cane!
So I beat a Russian Grand Master once.
With his own cane.
A teacher is asking children how their weekend went...
And young Johnny said, "It was great, Miss! Me and my Dad went to the outback! We stuck big sticks of dynamite up cane toads' arses!"
The teacher replies, "Johnny! The correct term is 'rectum'."
"That's right, Miss! Wrecked 'em! Blew 'em to bits!"
what type of cane
Made in USA is always late and destroys everything in its path?
The Hurry-cane
Hillary mistakenly chose her VP based on her doctors recommendations.
He said she needed a cane for support.
What do you call it when you spin a candy cane?
a tournament
You can explore cane sonny reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cane sugar dad jokes. There are also cane puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A doctor moved hospitals and got a new medical staff
He didn't expect a doctor's cane
Why did the man keep reloading the picture of the candy cane at the potluck?
He was in charge of refresh mints.
Someone used a cane to point out stuff instead of a laser pointer during a presentation today.
He asked for feedback on his presentation.
I said it was fantastick
An old man is walking through a crowded cafeteria...
Blocking the exit is a man with 14 children.
The old man scowls and makes his way through the children, but his metal cane hits some of the childrens' legs as well as the man's legs.
The man angrily says "Hey, could you put some rubber on that tip of yours! You're bangin' us up!"
The old man haughtily replies "If you had done that before then we wouldn't be in this situation!"
I asked my grandfather in Florida why he put wheels on his cane.
He said it was his "hurry cane."
I turned back to my little brother and yelled "HURRY, CANE!!!!"
And with much heavy breathing he replied "I'm sorry! I'm just not able!!!"
A bent over old lady hobbled into a doctor's office
Within minutes, she came out, but miraculously, she was standing up as straight as could be.
A man in the waiting room, who had been watching her, said in amazement, "My goodness, what did the doctor do to you?"
The old lady replied, "He gave me a longer cane."
I hurt my back last week but now I no longer need my cane
It was really only a crutch anyway
Always bring a cane to a first date.
You never know, it might be blind love.
An old married could sitting on their rocking chairs out on the porch watching the sunset...
Rocking away enjoying the sunset, when the woman takes her cane and suddenly smacks the old man on the leg.
"Hey... what was that for?" he protests
"For 60 years of bad sex!" she says.
They go back to rocking.
A few moments later he takes his cane and smacks her on the leg.
"Hey... what was that for?" she cries.
"That's for knowing the difference!"
TIL The first murderer was a disabled guy
Look it up in the Bible, the story of Cane and Able.
I heard the woman in the apartment next door having sex last night
She was moaning and groaning and they were thumping against the wall.
Turns out her mother had fallen and broken her hip and was hitting the wall with her cane for help.
Now I feel sorta bad for masturbating so many times.
When a bunch of actors are on suspicion of using drugs, one of them had to make the toughest decision
It's Michael Cane
How does an old man prepare for Florence when he's in a pinch?
He grabs his hurry cane and leaves.
What in this world is born with four legs, then two, then three?
Humans. You crawl as a baby, walk as an adult, and walk with a cane as an elder.
What did the Cane say to the other Cane, when he was going to torture him?
This is going to be very careful.
My teachers at school were like Gandalf the Grey...
...not kindly and wise and guiding me to wisdom; more standing in front of me, waving a cane and shouting "You shall not pass!"
What do you call a sharpened candy cane?
A spearmint
I can't see this whole racism thing. I can't see whites, blacks, browns, reds or even yellows.
I do have a cane though.
I was in a long line at 7:45 am today at the grocery store that opened at 8 am for seniors only.
A young man came from the parking lot and tried to cut in at the front of the line, but an old lady beat him back into the parking lot with her cane.
He returned and tried to cut in again but an old man punched him in the gut, then kicked him to the ground and rolled him away.
As he approached the line for the third time he said, "If you don't let me unlock the door you'll never get in there."
A blind man walks into a shop with a chihuahua...
wearing black sunglasses and a walking cane.
A shop assistant comes over and says "sorry sir, but we don't allow dogs in here".
The man replies, "but this is my guide dog!".
"Oh.." says the shop assistant, "I thought they were meant to be labradors?"
The man says "oh god, what have I got!"
A teenage girl came across an old man sitting next to his radio, tapping his cane in time to a Lil Wayne song.
"Holy crap! I didn't know you'd like rap music?!"
"I didn't, either," the old man replied. "It all started after my hip op".
I saw a man with a cane and a dog guiding him. I walked up to him and said "you must be blind".
He replied "tell me something I don't know! ".
I said "there's a tree over there!"
Two nudist philosophers are sitting by the pool and one says, "Have you read Marx?
The other replies, "Yes, I believe it's from the cane chairs."
This morning at about 7:45, I was in a long line at a grocery store that opens at 8:00 for senior citizens only.
A young man came from the parking lot and tried to cut in at the front of the line, but an old lady beat him back into the parking lot with her cane.
He returned and tried to cut in again but an old man punched him in the gut, then kicked him to the ground and rolled him away.
As he approached the line for the third time he said, "Look, if you don't let me unlock the damn door you're never going to get in there!
The old man and the elevator.
An old man from the country takes his family to town for the first time. They're at the mall and the mall has an elevator. Him and his son are watching this thing in amazement as they never saw one before and was not sure what it was. An older lady at least 80 with Gray hair in rollers and a walking cane walks into the elevator. A few minutes later a beautiful 25 year old blonde with huge tits walks out. The old man says to his son "Quick go get your mama".
What does a meteorologist use to walk quickly?
A hurry cane
So today I went to eat a candy cane but it broke when I unwrapped it
Guess it wasn't in mint condition
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cane demerara jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working cane candy cane piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.