Cane Jokes
64 cane jokes and hilarious cane puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cane that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out this hilarious collection of humorous jokes about canes! From candy cane to walking cane, the jokes about this long stick range from silly to mischievous. Learn all the funny details behind the cane and its various purposes, including toads, corso, batons, and more. Enjoy a good laugh with your grandmother, your sonny, or all your friends!
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Funniest Cane Short Jokes
Short cane jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cane humour may include short canine jokes also.
- I saw a man with a cane and a dog guiding him. I walked up to him and said "you must be blind". He replied "tell me something I don't know! ".
I said "there's a tree over there!" - Two nudist philosophers are sitting by the pool and one says, "Have you read Marx? The other replies, "Yes, I believe it's from the cane chairs."
- Whats the difference between Ornaments, Candy Canes, Myself, and the Star? You don't hang the star
- I found some leftover candy canes from last year that were still in their packaging. They were in mint condition.
- So today I went to eat a candy cane but it broke when I unwrapped it Guess it wasn't in mint condition
- Eventually, all hipsters will age and end up needing canes to help them walk... ...ironically.
- What do canes and blue pills have in common? They're both ready for use when a man is limp.
- How does an old man prepare for Florence when he's in a pinch? He grabs his hurry cane and leaves.
- I turned back to my little brother and yelled "HURRY, CANE!!!!" And with much heavy breathing he replied "I'm sorry! I'm just not able!!!"
- Someone used a cane to point out stuff instead of a laser pointer during a presentation today. He asked for feedback on his presentation.
I said it was fantastick
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Cane One Liners
Which cane one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cane? I can suggest the ones about canoe and cans.
- If slow old men use walking sticks, what do fast old men use ? Hurry canes.
- My 83 year old grandfather is still trying to be a successful rapper, his name? Two canes
- I know a guy who collects candy canes... ...they are all in mint condition.
- What does a meteorologist use to walk quickly? A hurry cane
- I knew a guy who collected candy canes, they were all in mint condition.
- What do you call and Englishman's walking cane? A ChapStick
- I saw a bunch of old people protesting outside of Chick-fil-A... They were raising canes.
- What's the fastest natural disaster? A Hurry-cane
Credit to my nine year old. - I got two packs o' sugar... Call me Two Canes
^I'm ^sorry. - I may be sweet like sugar, but I'll still beet you with my cane!
- Always bring a cane to a first date. You never know, it might be blind love.
- What would be the name of a very old rapper? 2 Canes
- What's Miami's biggest issue? The canes, caine and hurricanes
- What do you call a rapper with cerebral palsy? 2 CANES
- Did you hear about the storm that walked with a limp? It needed to use a hurri-cane.
Walking Cane Jokes
Here is a list of funny walking cane jokes and even better walking cane puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What in this world is born with four legs, then two, then three? Humans. You crawl as a baby, walk as an adult, and walk with a cane as an elder.
- I saw a woman in short shorts walking with the aid of a cane. "Nice leg," I called out.
Candy Cane Jokes
Here is a list of funny candy cane jokes and even better candy cane puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a sharpened candy cane? A spearmint
- Why did the man keep reloading the picture of the candy cane at the potluck? He was in charge of refresh mints.
- That's not a candy cane in my pocket. I'm just glad to see you!
- I just bought some collectors edition candy canes from Santa himself They're in mint condition
- Why are candy canes so expensive? Because they're in mint condition!
- What do you call it when you spin a candy cane? a tournament
- How do you make an abortion a more pleasant experience? Use a candy cane
- What does a candy cane say to another candy cane during a strong storm? **Hurry**cane!
White Cane Jokes
Here is a list of funny white cane jokes and even better white cane puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I can't see this whole racism thing. I can't see w**..., b**..., browns, reds or even yellows. I do have a cane though.
Sugar Cane Jokes
Here is a list of funny sugar cane jokes and even better sugar cane puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do you harvest sugar cane? With a sugar crane.
- Cane sugar is the best! It just can't be beet!
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Cane Jokes
What funny jokes about cane you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean canyon jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cane pranks.
An elderly Japanese man...
An elderly Japanese man was walking behind me as I was entering a store. Since he was older and walked with a cane, I held the door for him. As he walked pasted he said, "Sank you" with his accent. So I punched him in the face and said, "How dare you bring up Pearl Harbor like that!"
An old married couple are sitting on their porch one morning...
...when suddenly the old lady lashes out with her cane and hits her husband on the knee.
"Ow! What'd ya do that for?" He asked.
"That's for 60 years of bad s**...!"
He stewed in silence a few moments, rubbing his knee. All of a sudden he took his cane and thumped his wife on her knee.
"Ow! What's that for?"
"That's for knowing the difference."
A blind man walks into a pharmacy...
... and almost immediately starts to knock into displays and topple products with his white cane. The pharmacist rushes over and asks if he can help him with anything.
"No thanks, I'm just looking."
So I beat a Russian Grand Master once.
With his own cane.
A teacher is asking children how their weekend went...
And young Johnny said, "It was great, Miss! Me and my Dad went to the outback! We stuck big sticks of dynamite up cane toads' arses!"
The teacher replies, "Johnny! The correct term is r**...'."
"That's right, Miss! Wrecked 'em! Blew 'em to bits!"
what type of cane
Made in USA is always late and destroys everything in its path?
The Hurry-cane
Hillary mistakenly chose her VP based on her doctors recommendations.
He said she needed a cane for support.
A doctor moved hospitals and got a new medical staff
He didn't expect a doctor's cane
An old man is walking through a crowded cafeteria...
Blocking the exit is a man with 14 children.
The old man scowls and makes his way through the children, but his metal cane hits some of the childrens' legs as well as the man's legs.
The man angrily says "Hey, could you put some rubber on that tip of yours! You're bangin' us up!"
The old man haughtily replies "If you had done that before then we wouldn't be in this situation!"
A bent over old lady hobbled into a doctor's office
Within minutes, she came out, but miraculously, she was standing up as straight as could be.
A man in the waiting room, who had been watching her, said in amazement, "My goodness, what did the doctor do to you?"
The old lady replied, "He gave me a longer cane."
I hurt my back last week but now I no longer need my cane
It was really only a crutch anyway
An old married could sitting on their rocking chairs out on the porch watching the sunset...
Rocking away enjoying the sunset, when the woman takes her cane and suddenly smacks the old man on the leg.
"Hey... what was that for?" he protests
"For 60 years of bad s**...!" she says.
They go back to rocking.
A few moments later he takes his cane and smacks her on the leg.
"Hey... what was that for?" she cries.
"That's for knowing the difference!"
I heard the woman in the apartment next door having s**... last night
She was moaning and groaning and they were thumping against the wall.
Turns out her mother had fallen and broken her hip and was hitting the wall with her cane for help.
Now I feel sorta bad for m**... so many times.
What did the Cane say to the other Cane, when he was going to t**... him?
This is going to be very careful.
I was in a long line at 7:45 am today at the grocery store that opened at 8 am for seniors only.
A young man came from the parking lot and tried to cut in at the front of the line, but an old lady beat him back into the parking lot with her cane.
He returned and tried to cut in again but an old man punched him in the gut, then kicked him to the ground and rolled him away.
As he approached the line for the third time he said, "If you don't let me unlock the door you'll never get in there."
A blind man walks into a shop with a chihuahua...
wearing black sunglasses and a walking cane.
A shop assistant comes over and says "sorry sir, but we don't allow dogs in here".
The man replies, "but this is my guide dog!".
"Oh.." says the shop assistant, "I thought they were meant to be labradors?"
The man says "oh god, what have I got!"
A teenage girl came across an old man sitting next to his radio, tapping his cane in time to a Lil Wayne song.
"Holy c**...! I didn't know you'd like rap music?!"
"I didn't, either," the old man replied. "It all started after my hip op".
This morning at about 7:45, I was in a long line at a grocery store that opens at 8:00 for senior citizens only.
A young man came from the parking lot and tried to cut in at the front of the line, but an old lady beat him back into the parking lot with her cane.
He returned and tried to cut in again but an old man punched him in the gut, then kicked him to the ground and rolled him away.
As he approached the line for the third time he said, "Look, if you don't let me unlock the d**... door you're never going to get in there!
The old man and the elevator.
An old man from the country takes his family to town for the first time. They're at the mall and the mall has an elevator. Him and his son are watching this thing in amazement as they never saw one before and was not sure what it was. An older lady at least 80 with Gray hair in rollers and a walking cane walks into the elevator. A few minutes later a beautiful 25 year old blonde with huge t**... walks out. The old man says to his son "Quick go get your mama".
