Following is our collection of funny Candy Bars jokes. There are some candy bars jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these candy bars puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
You could say I have a few Twix up my sleeve
...The thieves stole one large drink, a large popcorn, and a candy bar.
I got a few Twix up my sleeve.
I was speaking to an old man at the grocery store yesterday when he told me something interesting about the olden days of america.
Old man: Son, back in the day my mother could give me a dollar and I could run to the store and get myself a candy bar and a soda pop, and still have money left over to buy the milk my mom asked me to get.
Me: Sucks you can not do that today!
Oldman: Yeah, I know son! Now a days, there is just way to much security . . .
Nowadays, they got cameras everywhere.
Now, they have cameras everywhere.
He goes in with his weekly allowance from his parents, usually to get a candy bar or something. But this time, to the cashier's surprise he brings up a bottle of laundry detergent. "What do you need this for, kid?" asks the cashier. The young boy explains how his dog is filthy and needs a bath. The cashier explains to him, that it is a terrible idea and may even kill the dog. The kid listens to the advice, but proceeds and buys it anyways. A week or so later, the kid goes into the store and brings a candy bar up to the counter. The cashier rings him up and asks "Hey, so is your dog alright?" to which the little boy replies "no, he died". The cashier tells him, "I told you it was a bad idea to clean him with laundry detergent!" and the little boy replies, "I don't think it was the detergent that did it, I think it was the rinse cycle."
He browses the candy section and decides to buy a Snickers bar. His total is $1.29. He pays with a $20 bill and tells the cashier to keep whatever is leftover.
"Are you sure?" The cashier says.
"I don't like change." the man replies.
Diabetes.
Billy has diabetes.
Diabetes. John has diabetes.
Type 2 diabetes
You can explore candy bars reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean candy bars dad jokes. There are also candy bars puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
All your chips and candy bars are family sized.
Hershey
"That's nothing!" I retorted. "All six times I ate it I put a new candy bar on your desk exactly where you left it."
It snickers
Diabetes.
were fighting over custody of their kids. The mother protested that since she brought her kids into this world, she should retain custody of them. The judge asked the old mountaineer for his side of the story. After a long moment of silence, the mountaineer rose from his chair and asked, "Judge, when I put a quarter in a candy machine and a candy bar comes out, does it belong to me or the machine?"
I said "Big Hunk. Because not many people like me, especially when they're not expecting my nuts in their mouth"
Now there are cameras everywhere.
Candy Bars
A payday
Andy has diabetes
Diabetes
Because he doesn't exist!
Allahu Snackbar, it's flavor is explosive.
with nuts
But now, they have security cameras everywhere
[not my joke, I got it from somewhere just don't remember where, and it's provably unfunny but it made me laugh a lil]
How is a dog before he goes into the vet like a Snickers, and after he comes out of the vet like a Milky Way?
They are both the same, just without the nuts.
His dad always said to keep Twix up your sleeve.
He heads down an aisle and pauses, his faithful Golden Retriever by his side. With a grunt he picks the dog up by the leash and starts swinging him in circles over his head.
*Wooosh wooosh wooosh*
Bags of chips are flying around and candy bars are falling to the floor, along with a clamorous noise.
The frustrated store clerk yells at the man. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING??"
"I'm just looking around."
That every time we have sex, I put a dollar into an envelope that goes toward her Christmas present. So far, she's getting a candy bar.
A nutter one.
This is because of part of the continent's tropical savanna climate, particularly its precipitation. I love chocolate, so I'm really grateful for this.
Next time I eat a candy bar, I'll have to bless the rains down in Africa.
A priest is in the confessional box and he has to go to the restroom, so he grabs an alter boy and says, "Take over for me for a couple minutes."
A man enters the box. "Bless me father for I have sinned..."
The boy says, "The priest will be back in a few minutes."
The man replies,"I'm in a bit of a hurry. Do you know what Father Daniels usually gives for oral sex?"
The boy says, "Well, he usually gives me a candy bar and a five bucks."
Because he wanted to have a few Twix up his sleeve.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the candy bars jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working candy bars piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.