Following is our collection of funny Candle jokes. There are some candle wick jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these candle birthday candle puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Great idea; terrible execution.
It was amazing, we had a three course meal with champagne over candle light, we then snuggled up on the sofa, to watch a movie, then, when we went up stairs, I let her get changed, while I spread rose petals over the bed, then, we had the most amazing, mind blowing sex that I've ever had, but just as I was about to finish, her parents walked in...
I am now banned from babysitting.
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
"In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."
The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It's a candle", he said.
"You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.
The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."
Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".
The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"
The Paddy replied, "These are Carols".
There ain't no rest for the wicked
He blew him off.
If you don't blow me before bed I'll burn your house down
Neither, they both burn shorter.
"Oh Ya, what does he do?"
"Makes gun powder."
Will you go out with me tonight?
So I'm at a store looking for some candle holders.. But the store has run out of candle holders...
So I bought a cake.
Because there's no rest for the wicked.
You can explore candle wicked reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean candle candlestick dad jokes. There are also candle puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
There's no rest for the wicked!
They are delighted.
It just didn't make scents.
It just makes scents.
It smells like teen spirit.
A Scandle.
I was in a church yesterday, when I saw a guy lighting a cigarette from the candle. I was so shocked, that I dropped my beer bottle.
Fire in the hole!
If you forget I exist, so help me God, I'll burn your house down.
I bought it because I love the smell of fresh bread. But when I lit it, it smelled like toast.
So I bought her a candle!
And when it gets REALLY cold, we light it.
I was at church today and some scumbag lit a cigarette with an alter candle, I was so shocked I almost dropped my beer
They call it pope pourri
(I really am sorry)
Things are much calmer now.
He huddles around a candle.
What does he do when it gets *really* cold?
He lights the candle.
I'm going out tonight.
But I realized it wouldn't make any scents
If you ignore me I will burn your house down.
Electricity.
He's strolling through Bed Bath and Beyond, when he finally locates the candle section. So many options to pick from, he starts to give them all a good test sniff. As he's smelling more and more candles he wrinkles his brow and remarks to himself "All these candles smell funny..."
So he catches the attention of an employee and asks her, "Ma'am why do all of these candles smell so funny?"
"Well sir, that's our new Scents of Humor line!"
...The first one asks, "So, what are you doing tonight?"
The second candle replies, "Going out."
So I bought her a candle. That showed her.
They met for brunch for the next day.
Guy 1: I drank way to much, first thing I did when I got home I blew Chunks...
Guy 2: That's nothing, I wrapped my car around a tree on my way home.
Guy 3: I beat all of you, I was arguing with my wife and knocked a candle over! It destroyed the whole house.
It went silent for a minute.
Guy 1: I don't think you guys understand. Chunks is my dog.
If you forget about me, I burn your house down.
None, they light a candle because they're stuck in the dark ages.
John Wick
I guess it was just common scents
but the candles cost more than your cake.
(I heard this one at a bridge club today)
It just doesn't make any scents
It wasn't a good match.
if he was feeling generous he would even light it.
It just wouldn't make any scents.
Don't blow it.
No one could hold a candle to him.
Four drunk men want to light a cigarette. So they sent one of the four guys to buy matches, he returned without matches and said there were non left. The they sent another one to go and ask for matches from their neighbours, and he also returned empty handed and said that he didn't find any. So one of the men said
"that's it, I'm bored, just put out the candle and let's go to sleep.".
A man was taking a tour of the Yankee Candle factory when he suddenly saw an incredibly large machine and had no idea what it was. he asked the employee giving the tour what it was, and the employee replied, Oh! That's our patented Yankee Candle Maker 5000™️! The man seemed content and said to himself, Oh, that makes scents.
That's why I got her a candle
The word "candle" , so I asked my daughter (23), "You know, one of those things you blow and make a wish?"
She said, "Breathalyzer'"
Let's go out tonight.
... So I bought her a candle.
With a match made in heaven.
PS5 smells like you are not getting one !
Set a man on fire and he can see for the rest of his life.
It makes no scents
... if it's a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular dinner?
"Next one you buy, I'm going to burn it." She screamed.
So, I bought her a candle.
A passing cop stopped and asked, what happened?
Old man: I have a beautiful young wife. Every evening she cooks the most delicious meals and serves it in candle light and then we have a romantic night.
Cop: So, why are you crying?
Old man: Because, I have forgotten where I live.
Because a candle is WICKED.
But at least now we can see your face
if it's a romantic candle light dinner or just a regular dinner.
Put a candle on a cake and it's a party.
Put a candle on a pie and someone's drunk in the kitchen.
and said that she suspects smelling gas, asking what she should do.
I told her: you're such a wonderful and religious person, you should light a candle and pray.
Candlebalism
...guess there is no rest for the wicked.
They asked a priest who was going to live in Rome to light a candle for them.
A number of years later the priest came back stateside and went to visit the family. The husband was not at home, but the woman was surrounded by children. The priest enquired about the husband, and the wife told him "he went to Rome to try to find you and get you to blow out the bloody candle".
Told them I didn't want to work wick ends
But I had no business scents
Turns out you really shouldn't take your date to see an old flame.
A candull.
It was scent-sational
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the candle lit jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working candle menorah piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.