Following is our collection of funny Candidate jokes. There are some candidate election jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these candidate ballot puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Candidate: 'I'd say my biggest weakness is my listening skills.'
Interviewer: So tell me, what education have you received in all of your past?
Candidate: Well I went to Yale for 4 years.
Interviewer: Yale?! Oh that's great! You've got the job! Just tell me again, what's your name?
Candidate: Yhonny Yohnson!
The job candidate responded, " I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."
Use it while you can, people!
I too only run once every four years.
to stop being considered stupid. The democrats said "Just put forth one presidential candidate who can make a brain surgeon look like an idiot."
I had no port folio, had never drawn in my life and absolutely no talent.
I was furious when they rejected me because I was the perfect candidate.
Surely if anyone needs lessons it's me!
His resume was fantastic and his qualities was perfect for the company. The interviewers were impressed.
"You are a strong candidate, and we would like to hire you. However, there's this 5 years gap in your resume. What were you doing during that time?"
"I went to Yale"
"Wow great! You're hired"
"Yay, I got a yob!"
Whichever can reduce inflation.
Because he was running on CP time.
Tom Cotton.
Having to tell black people to "Pick Cotton!" in 2020.
Dear God,
Last week, you took my favorite boxer; Muhammed Ali.
Today, you took my favorite hockey player; Gordie Howe.
I just want to let you know that my favorite candidate is Donald Trump.
You can explore candidate interview reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean candidate voter dad jokes. There are also candidate puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A third-party candidate in the U.S.
Would you be offended if I said that I'm not voting for that white, elitist, pompous, corrupt, egomaniac that's going to ruin our country?
...or would you even know which candidate I'm talking about?
I dunno about you, but I'd rather vote for a candidate who wants to restore Firefly.
He ran on splitting up gangs.
There's only one candidate who can dodge a draft.
" It was a pressure meeting you"
The opponent laughed and said, "How about becoming one himself?"
the president will be taking a pay cut. It works out to be about 22%.
By keeping his mouth shut.
And the bartender says, "How's it going, Donald?"
Candidate: I fall in love easily.
Interviewer: What's your weakness?
Candidate: Those blue eyes of yours.
Whomever she happens to be.
Boy, is my bank teller going to be surprised!
...maybe Hillary should consider running as a Republican!
An algorithm.
The candidate who was going to "defeat ISIS" is currently at war with Saturday Night Live and a Broadway musical.
It's the first time in a long time that the big money candidate didn't win...
"Make America Mate Again!"
He's the only candidate that America finally understands..
A sick Bern.
Franken Stein 2020
Supervision.
Interviewer: "What is you're greatest strength?"
Candidate: " **Your** "
Interviewer: "When can you start?!"
Interviewer: So what would you say is your biggest weakness?
Candidate: I never know when to quit.
Interviewer: Well that can always be turned to our advantage! Congratulations, you're hired.
Candidate: *I quit*
He was the pervfect candidate.
That was bad. I'm sorry.
Another election lost because of hanging chads.
Candidate: Well, that's a really good question, Dad.
"Well, you've been an excellent candidate," I said.
Yeah, his opponent won by a landslide!
It would be hard to beat the first candidate to get an endorsement from Lincoln.
The officer says, "Take this pistol and shoot A TALL BLACK GUY AND THREE WHITE RABBITS."
So the candidate asks,"why the three white rabbits?".
Officer"that's the kind of attitude we're looking for. You're selected".
Candidate : 39!
Interviewer: What? That's not even close!
Candidate : Yeah, but it was quick!
But it's my vote, so I'll Buttigieg of that.
I can't remember, but vote for [major party candidate]!
Candidate: I don't know
Interviewer: Congratulations! Welcome to the United States Air Force!
One candidate has a Trump card. The other is just Biden his time. There's a lot of Harrisment between the the two of them and I don't think it looks good on either of them, that's just my 2 Pence though.
we truly have Electile Dysfunction
Donald Trump's resume when he applied to be a presidential candidate.
Three men apply for a spy position.
Its the final test
Interviewer: "I have your SO in this room. Your mission is to kill them. Here's a gun."
First candidate: " You can't be serious?"
Interviewer: " Then this job is not for you."
Second candidate comes out 5 minutes later: "I can't do this."
Interviewer hears shots fired, screaming and banging in the last room.
Last candidate: "The gun just had blanks. I had to beat her with the chair."
Interviewer(in an Indian language) : Do you know English?
Candidate: Are the thieves from England?
Poll dancing
Candidate: does your mom count?
An interviewer said to the candidate ,"Here we need responsible people whom we can count on"
Candidate: "Oh then I'm perfect for the job; in my last job i was responsible when anything went wrong"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the candidate reelection jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working candidate presidental piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.