The Best 54 Candidate Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Candidate jokes. There are some candidate election jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these candidate ballot puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Candidate Jokes and Puns
*During an Interview* Interviewer: 'So how long did were you employed at your last job?'
Candidate: 'I'd say my biggest weakness is my listening skills.'
Job interview
Interviewer: So tell me, what education have you received in all of your past?
Candidate: Well I went to Yale for 4 years.
Interviewer: Yale?! Oh that's great! You've got the job! Just tell me again, what's your name?
Candidate: Yhonny Yohnson!
The interviewer asked, "Where do you see yourself in five years?"
The job candidate responded, " I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."
Use it while you can, people!
As an obese man, I think I would make a pretty good presidential candidate.
I too only run once every four years.
The Republicans asked the Democrats what it would take
to stop being considered stupid. The democrats said "Just put forth one presidential candidate who can make a brain surgeon look like an idiot."
I applied for art school
I had no port folio, had never drawn in my life and absolutely no talent.
I was furious when they rejected me because I was the perfect candidate.
Surely if anyone needs lessons it's me!
A man goes to a job interview...
His resume was fantastic and his qualities was perfect for the company. The interviewers were impressed.
"You are a strong candidate, and we would like to hire you. However, there's this 5 years gap in your resume. What were you doing during that time?"
"I went to Yale"
"Wow great! You're hired"
"Yay, I got a yob!"
Which presidential candidate does Tom Brady support?
Whichever can reduce inflation.
Why did the Mayor take so long to endorse a Presidential candidate?
Because he was running on CP time.
You know which presidential candidate in 2020 will have the hardest time?
Tom Cotton.
Having to tell black people to "Pick Cotton!" in 2020.
Letter to God
Dear God,
Last week, you took my favorite boxer; Muhammed Ali.
Today, you took my favorite hockey player; Gordie Howe.
I just want to let you know that my favorite candidate is Donald Trump.
You can explore candidate interview reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean candidate voter dad jokes. There are also candidate puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I run and I run and I run and I run but I don't go anywhere. What am I?
A third-party candidate in the U.S.
Would you be offended if I said...
Would you be offended if I said that I'm not voting for that white, elitist, pompous, corrupt, egomaniac that's going to ruin our country?
...or would you even know which candidate I'm talking about?
Trump keeps talking about restoring "law and order."
I dunno about you, but I'd rather vote for a candidate who wants to restore Firefly.
Freddy from scooby doo was a candidate for mayor of L.A in the 90s
He ran on splitting up gangs.
Hillary Clinton's recent case of pneumonia just goes to show
There's only one candidate who can dodge a draft.
After interviewing a candidate for an open position, I got an email stating,
" It was a pressure meeting you"
A Trump supporter asked an opponent what the candidate should do for the American taxpayer.
The opponent laughed and said, "How about becoming one himself?"
Did you hear? If the democratic candidate wins the white house...
the president will be taking a pay cut. It works out to be about 22%.
Third party US presidential candidate Gary Johnson just delivered a crushing blow to the Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton campaigns
By keeping his mouth shut.
A billionaire, a clown, and a presidential candidate walk into a bar...
And the bartender says, "How's it going, Donald?"
Interviewer: What's your strength?
Candidate: I fall in love easily.
Interviewer: What's your weakness?
Candidate: Those blue eyes of yours.
PSA: Don't let anyone tell you how to vote. You should vote for the candidate you believe will be most beneficial for the Country.
Whomever she happens to be.
so as I went in to vote this morning, an old lady told me to make sure I voted for the candidate that could make change.
Boy, is my bank teller going to be surprised!
If a Republican candidate who is hated by the GOP establishment and loathed by half the country just won the election...
...maybe Hillary should consider running as a Republican!
What do you get if you ask a former presidential candidate to write a piece of music about a formula for solving a problem based on a sequence of specified actions?
An algorithm.
Our President Elect is a real tough guy...
The candidate who was going to "defeat ISIS" is currently at war with Saturday Night Live and a Broadway musical.
Hillary raised $380 million more than Trump and still lost.
It's the first time in a long time that the big money candidate didn't win...
What was the slogan of the pro-reproduction candidate?
"Make America Mate Again!"
How did Donald Trump won with his poor vocabulary?
He's the only candidate that America finally understands..
Former presidential candidate Senator Sanders falls ill. What do you call him?
A sick Bern.
If we can get Al Franken to run for President, with the Green Party candidate as his running mate, my bumper sticker would be...
Franken Stein 2020
You know why Superman would be the best candidate for a management position?
Supervision.
[Grammar Police Job Interview]
Interviewer: "What is you're greatest strength?"
Candidate: " **Your** "
Interviewer: "When can you start?!"
Yet another job Interview joke
Interviewer: So what would you say is your biggest weakness?
Candidate: I never know when to quit.
Interviewer: Well that can always be turned to our advantage! Congratulations, you're hired.
Candidate: *I quit*
I don't understand why we didn't get Roy Moore elected.
He was the pervfect candidate.
That was bad. I'm sorry.
The incel party presidential candidate was doing quite well until he advocated for excecution of all men who have had sex.
Another election lost because of hanging chads.
Interviewer: What are your thoughts about nepotism in a workplace environment?
Candidate: Well, that's a really good question, Dad.
My girlfriend left me because I'm too occupied with my work.
"Well, you've been an excellent candidate," I said.
Did you hear about the presidential candidate who died in an accident while mountain climbing?
Yeah, his opponent won by a landslide!
Matthew McConaughey would almost certainly win if he ran for president.
It would be hard to beat the first candidate to get an endorsement from Lincoln.
A police officer candidate goes for an interview...
The officer says, "Take this pistol and shoot A TALL BLACK GUY AND THREE WHITE RABBITS."
So the candidate asks,"why the three white rabbits?".
Officer"that's the kind of attitude we're looking for. You're selected".
Interviewer: It says here on your resume that you're extremely fast at calculations. What is 25 x 14?
Candidate : 39!
Interviewer: What? That's not even close!
Candidate : Yeah, but it was quick!
I like this new Democratic candidate, Pete Buttigieg. Some people think he's not experienced enough...
But it's my vote, so I'll Buttigieg of that.
What's is called when someone does the same thing over again, expecting different results?
I can't remember, but vote for [major party candidate]!
Interviewer: What's the difference between the Taliban and British troops?
Candidate: I don't know
Interviewer: Congratulations! Welcome to the United States Air Force!
This election is crazy.
One candidate has a Trump card. The other is just Biden his time. There's a lot of Harrisment between the the two of them and I don't think it looks good on either of them, that's just my 2 Pence though.
The Presidential Election will never bring a satisfactory conclusion, there's no flow it's just one candidate that changes the subject constantly,while the other can't perform for too long
we truly have Electile Dysfunction
Don't know much about history. Don't know much biology. Don't know much about a science book.
Donald Trump's resume when he applied to be a presidential candidate.
Three men apply for a spy position
Three men apply for a spy position.
Its the final test
Interviewer: "I have your SO in this room. Your mission is to kill them. Here's a gun."
First candidate: " You can't be serious?"
Interviewer: " Then this job is not for you."
Second candidate comes out 5 minutes later: "I can't do this."
Interviewer hears shots fired, screaming and banging in the last room.
Last candidate: "The gun just had blanks. I had to beat her with the chair."
Interview for the position of security guard in India
Interviewer(in an Indian language) : Do you know English?
Candidate: Are the thieves from England?
What's the most attention grabbing way to advertise a political candidate?
Poll dancing
Interviewer: any experience operating heavy machinery?
Candidate: does your mom count?
An interviewer said to the candidate
An interviewer said to the candidate ,"Here we need responsible people whom we can count on"
Candidate: "Oh then I'm perfect for the job; in my last job i was responsible when anything went wrong"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the candidate reelection jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working candidate presidental piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.