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Cand Jokes

38 cand jokes and hilarious cand puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cand that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Howlingly Hilarious Cand Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What is a good cand joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

What candy do you give your wife before you get married?

Pre-nup brittle.

Why was the candle mad at his friend?

He blew him off.

What did one candle say to the other

Will you go out with me tonight?

Candle Holders

So I'm at a store looking for some candle holders.. But the store has run out of candle holders...
So I bought a cake.

Why couldn't the candle get any sleep?

Because there's no rest for the wicked.

Are candles happy or sad when they are put out?

They are delighted.

Candlelight is romantic until...

Candlelight is romantic until she realizes your electricity has been shut off.

Two candles wanted to get high…

They lit up and got low instead.
Happy 4/20!

What candy is traditionally served at a Jewish wedding.

Mazel toffee.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What does a candy cane say to another candy cane during a strong storm?

**Hurry**cane!

What 3 candies do you find in school?

Redhots, DumDums, and smarties.

How does a candy bar laugh?

It snickers

Why Do Candles Give The Best Advice?

They just make scents.

I don't like your can-do attitude

Can you fix it?

Candlejack walks into a bar . . .

. . . and he says

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Candle s**... and dirty talk goes hand in hand with....

Mr Myagi and wax on wax off. ;->

What candy did Elon Musk give kids for Halloween?

Rockets.

How does a CANDU reactor work?

By believing in itself.

Who is a candy wrapper?

Eminem

Which candy is the angriest?

Temper mints.

I went to a candle sale event last night.

It was lit.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

ISIS's New Candy Bar Line

In order to shore up waning power in Syria and Iraq, ISIS put out a candy bar appealing to young Muslims. They call it the: Allahu Choklatbar! exclamation point

Cand joke, ISIS's New Candy Bar Line

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Cand joke, ISIS's New Candy Bar Line

Cand joke, ISIS's New Candy Bar Line

jokes about cand