The Best 46 Cand Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cand jokes. There are some cand mines jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cand friend puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cand Jokes and Puns

What did the candle say when it couldn't sleep due to his own candlelight?

There ain't no rest for the wicked

What candy do you give your wife before you get married?

Pre-nup brittle.

Why was the candle mad at his friend?

He blew him off.

Cand joke, Why was the candle mad at his friend?

What did one candle say to the other

Will you go out with me tonight?

Candle Holders

So I'm at a store looking for some candle holders.. But the store has run out of candle holders...

So I bought a cake.

Why couldn't the candle get any sleep?

Because there's no rest for the wicked.

Why was the candle tired?

There's no rest for the wicked!

Cand joke, Why was the candle tired?

Are candles happy or sad when they are put out?

They are delighted.

Candlelight is romantic until...

Candlelight is romantic until she realizes your electricity has been shut off.

Two candles wanted to get highโ€ฆ

They lit up and got low instead.

Happy 4/20!


Q: What did the candle say to the other candle?
A: I'm going out tonight!

You can explore cand blew reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cand lit dad jokes. There are also cand puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What candy is traditionally served at a Jewish wedding.

Mazel toffee.

What does a candy cane say to another candy cane during a strong storm?


What 3 candies do you find in school?

Redhots, DumDums, and smarties.

How does a candy bar laugh?

It snickers

Why Do Candles Give The Best Advice?

They just make scents.

Cand joke, Why Do Candles Give The Best Advice?

Why do candidates always "suspend" their campaigns?

They should clearly kill them with ctrl-c, not ctrl-z. Now we will have a bunch of zombie campaigns in our political system.

I don't like your can-do attitude

Can you fix it?

Candlejack walks into a bar . . .

. . . and he says

Candle sex and dirty talk goes hand in hand with....

Mr Myagi and wax on wax off๏ปฟ. ;->

What candy did Elon Musk give kids for Halloween?


How does a CANDU reactor work?

By believing in itself.

Candy is like virginity

It's easy to take from a child

Who is a candy wrapper?


If you have 13 candy bars and John eats 9, what does John have?

Type 2 diabetes

Which candy is the angriest?

Temper mints.

I went to a candle sale event last night.

It was lit.

What did the little candle say to the big candle

I'm going out tonight.

ISIS's New Candy Bar Line

In order to shore up waning power in Syria and Iraq, ISIS put out a candy bar appealing to young Muslims. They call it the: Allahu Choklatbar! exclamation point

I didn't have any candy at Halloween...

So I gave out my antidepressants.

It made the kids happy, but it was a real downer for me.

Where does the candy man keep his candy?

The candy man can.

Before candles, what did North Korean communists use to light their homes with?


Why do candles make the perfect gift?

Because they just make *scents*.

2 candles are having a conversation...

...The first one asks, "So, what are you doing tonight?"

The second candle replies, "Going out."

I've always said candy tastes best coming from strangers.

None of the kids at the playground listened to me though.

A candy bar a day

Keeps the diabeetus in play

Two candles meet

Candle 1: "Hey what are you doing tonight"
Candle 2: "I'm going out"

I'm not saying you are old...

but the candles cost more than your cake.

(I heard this one at a bridge club today)

If you can keep the candle lit, you win.

Don't blow it.

What did one candle say to the other?

Let's go out tonight.

who is the best candy (w)rapper?


Candice joke

Knock, knock!
Whoโ€™s there?
Candice who?
Candice joke get any funnier?

What does candy do when you tell it a joke?

It Snickers.

Why is it difficult to have a cool relationship with a candle?

Because a candle is WICKED.

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake

But at least now we can see your face

Why did the candle get a round of applause?

It was scent-sational

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cand sad jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cand candice piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes