Cancerous Tumor Jokes

38 cancerous tumor jokes and hilarious cancerous tumor puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cancerous tumor that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Cancerous Tumor Short Jokes

Short cancerous tumor jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cancerous tumor humour may include short cancerous jokes also.

  1. I've read like 7 jokes about John McCain's cancer today If I read tumor, it's gonna benign.
  2. [True] A while back I was diagnosed with a benign brain lesion. I was distraught. to make light of the situation... You really have to have a good sense of tumor. Laughter is cancerous.
  3. Have you heard about the recent abnormal growth in cancer clinics? There are tumor down the street.
  4. My English professor had a colonoscopy... Turns out he had colon cancer so he had to have surgery to remove the tumor. Now he has a semi-colon.
  5. I have this friend who had cancer. In the process of cure and after he got released, he said his life was completely changed. You know what they say about tumors. They really grow on you.
  6. There's eight of us here We'll need ten to start the cancer experimental treatment. Let's get tumor people.
  7. What would you say about someone who li kes to tell cancer jokes? That he has a sense of tumor
    (Courtesy of
  8. I believe in the Zodiac I'm a Pisces, by far my favorite type of fairy. Something a bit tragic, my grandmother was a Cancer, and she was actually killed by a giant tumor.
  9. I'm thinking of setting up a comedy group to help people going through cancer treatment I'll call it 'A Sense of Tumor'
  10. What do you call someone who can't take a joke about cancer? Someone with no sense of tumor.

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Cancerous Tumor One Liners

Which cancerous tumor one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cancerous tumor? I can suggest the ones about cancerous cells and tumor.

  1. What did the doctor say to the cancer patient? You have tumor months to live.
  2. My friend said cancer was nothing to joke about I found that statement rather tumorous
  3. Why did the man get cancer three times? Because after the first time he got tumor.
  4. What is the performance of a comedian with cancer like? Tumorous
  5. How long does a kid with terminal cancer live? About tumor months.
  6. I have already heard like seven cancer puns today... If I hear tumor its gonna benign.
  7. What did the optimistic cancer patient say about his tumor? It's growing on me.
  8. In which slot of a vending machine can you find a non-cancerous tumor? B9.
  9. How did the cavemen cure cancer? They killed tumors with one stone.
  10. Did you guys hear Adele might have cancer? It's not confirmed, but tumor has it

Cancerous Tumor Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about cancerous tumor you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cancer cells jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cancerous tumor pranks.

I cracked a joke about dementia to my friend at the bus. The old man sitting next to me politely asked. "Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?"

I replied "yes I cancer." Then I cracked tumor

An 85 year old man goes to his doctor for his annual checkup...

... Doc says, Mr. Jones, I have bad news and worse news.
"Whats the worse news?"
"You have a relatively large brain tumor that is very aggressive and the treatment options are almost nonexistent, so I'm afraid you have about 6 months to live."
Mr. Jones hangs his head for a couple moments and looks up to ask, "And the bad news?"
"you have Alzheimers."
Mr. Jones frowns and says, "well, at least I don't have cancer."

Two more

I mean... Ι appreciate that my friends are doing their best to cheer me up after my diagnosis, but I've heard so many cancer jokes today, that if I get to hear just tumor I'll really get mad.

Feel free to steal this one.

My doctor got his medical degree from China, which isn't a problem usually, but the other day I was at his office and he told me,
"You have spot of cancer."
and I said,
and he said,
"Yes. Your lung has tumor."
and I said,
"One's enough, thanks."

An old couple lay dying of cancer

The wife turns to the husband and says "I have a confession to make. For years I switched the sugar in your coffee with powdered asbestos."
A tear comes to the husband's eyes he replies that he too has a confession to make. "I switched our coffees because you loved sweets. This tumor is hereditary."

A old man goes to the doctor for some tests

...and the doctor has some bad news.
"I'm sorry to tell you this. But two of your tests cam back positive. Firstly, we have detected a cancerous tumor in your lungs."
"Oh dear!" said the man.
"And secondly," the doctor said, "it seems you have tested positive for Alzheimer's disease. I'm very sorry."
The man replied, "That sounds serious! Well, on the bright side, at least I don't have cancer!"

Jokes about cancer aren't funny.

And honestly, if you think they are, then you're a tumor on comedy.

A man and his wife are in the hospital.

The wife has cancer and she is dying. Her hair has fallen out and she is covered in tumors. The wife says to the man, "I'm so sorry I have never given you o**... s**..." so in her weakened state she proceeds to go down on her husband. They both love it! She continues to give her husband o**... s**... over and over again, day after day; She starts to realize that she is getting healthier and healthier. The doctors think that it must be from all the o**... s**... she is giving her husband! Her hair grows back, the tumors dissipate and she returns to her normal healthy beautiful self. For the first time in months the wife walks back into their home and sees her husband crying. She asks, "why are you crying? I'm better!"
The husband replies, "I could have saved mom!"