Following is our collection of funny Cancer jokes. There are some cancer gemini jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cancer cancer patient puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
HEY! So what did you get for Christmas? The second little boy pauses and says well I got a gift card and a t-shirt…you?
The first little boy excitedly replies Oh man, I got a new scooter, a new 3DS XL. A PS Vita. A new bike and were going to Disneyland on Friday. Can't believe all you got was a gift card and t-shirt! to which the second little boy replies well…at least I don't have cancer…
...when he found out, the guy went nut.
The doctor tells him that his test results are in and he needs to see him right away.
The next day, the man shows up. He walks into the doctor's office. "Hey. What's the news?"
The doctor sighs and stands up. "Well...the test results are in. I'm afraid you have cancer and onomatopoeia."
The man frowns. "What's onomatopoeia?"
"Exactly what it sounds like."
He is considered to be the most evil scientist that ever lived.
1 and 12 people to say how inspiring it was
she was attacked by a giant crab
He was attacked by a giant crab.
A doctor runs a test on an elderly lady in the hospital and comes in to her room to read her the results.
"I have some bad news, and some more bad news. You have cancer, and you also have Alzheimer's disease"
The woman says "Well at least I don't have cancer."
She got eaten by a giant crab
cancer.
Mauled to death by a giant crab.
You can explore cancer workup reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cancer taurus dad jokes. There are also cancer puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
She felt threatened by someone more malignant than herself
What's the difference between cancer and the middle class? At least cancer got Jobs.
The doctor says "I'm afraid I have bad news. You have cancer... And you have alzheimer's."
The old man says "Well, at least I don't have cancer!"
At least it isn't cancer.
Asbestos he can.
I'm so sorry.
Meesathelioma.
She died due to fatal injuries from a giant crab attack.
He passed.
She gets sent off for some test and comes back a week later.
"Well, I hope you're ready for endless sleepless nights of crying and changing dirty diapers!" the doc says.
"Wow, you mean I'm pregnant?" the woman replies thrilled.
"No, you've got bowel cancer."
No one got past stage 4.
An old man is walking in the hospital and talks to himself:
-aquarius?... no, no no... was it gemini?... naaah...
young doctor cant stand it anymore and walks to him:
-cancer grandpa, you got cancer!
Well, it turns out writing "my money is on cancer every time" is one way to get quite a bit of hate mail.
If I hear another one it's gonna benign
She was eaten by a giant crab
Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
And all the days before that, but it still counts.
...it never gets old.
... with cancer, both named Jordan.
I've always wanted a sick pair of Jordans.
So a child is ill and the make a wish foundation asks "what do you want more than anything" the child responds "to trade places with Donald trump!"
They interpret as he wants to know what it's like to be president for a day.
So they ask trump, he obliges.
Trump meets the child and says "so you want to know what it's like to be president?"
The child retorts "no I just wanted you to have cancer"
Never 21
They never get old.
*"What's the good news?"*
"***I*** don't have cancer"
"That she was killed by a giant crab."
But he tells everyone he's dying of aids
His son asks him why.
He replies "So no one will have sex with my wife when I'm gone"
You'll actually live long enough to get it.
He killed himself three hours later.
Apparently that's not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.
Joey gives Mary 1 stuffed animal and 2 flowers. Emma gives Mary 3 flowers and 2 stuffed animals. Sam gives Mary 2 stuffed animals and 1 flower. What does Mary have?
Cancer. Mary has cancer.
A woman goes to the doctor complaining of abdominal pains. After a series of tests, the doctor walks back in and says to the lady, "Well, hope you don't mind changing diapers!"
Stunned, she replies, "Oh my God I'm pregnant? I can't be pregnant!"
The doctor looks at her and says, "No, you have bowel cancer"
Doctor: What is your zodiac sign?
Patient: Cancer.
Doctor: What a coincidence...
One kid wrote:
1. HIV, AIDS
2. Cancer
3. /
The teacher asked what's '/' ?
Student replied it's a stroke.
He was mauled by a giant crab.
Patient: Atleast Idont have Cancer
WEB MD: Cancer.
Doctor: Number 4 will blow your mind.
"Dad I'm hungry."
"Hi hungry, I'm dead."
"Haha, you mean dad."
"No. I have inoperable brain cancer."
"...wha-"
"I've been waiting for the right moment to tell you."
"I have two pieces of bad news," the doctor says.
"What are they?"
"Well, the first piece of news is that you have cancer."
"What's the 2nd piece of news?" he asks.
"Well, the 2nd piece of bad news is that you have Alzheimer's."
The man laughs and says, "Well, at least I don't have cancer."
Keep kids from dying from old age, stop vaccinating today.
Honey, she said, there's a couple things I need to get off my chest.
It's even funnier when children get it.
I'm already on Stage 4
Doctor told us that mastectomy will be necessary.
Today, I went online to see if there is any alternative...
Emma, 28 years old, NY. Looks cute...
Patient: Thank God it's not Alzheimer's.
They said, Maybe you should check your junk.
My dad didn't beat cancer
What is making a joke about Alex Tribek's cancer diagnosis?
from being crushed by a giant crab.
"The bad news is it's brain cancer."
Turns out she was talking about zodiacs. Anyway I've got three months to live.
It's easier to get if you lie about having cancer
Tell me, old friend said the faithful Tonto.
Well...I recently was diagnosed with Cancer
Bad spirits, replied his old companion.
The Lone Ranger look off into the distance for a minute. After all your years of wisdom, what do you think I should do?
Chemo, sabe
Ps this is my first joke post ever so I hope I did it right.
I'm already on stage four
Except for cancer
He says to her:
'you remember when i lost my job some years ago?'
'yes'
'you were by my side'
'yes'
'and when our son died in a car crash?'
'yes'
'you were by my side'
'yes'
'and now I'm dying of cancer you're still by my side'
'yes'
'you know what?'
'no'
'i think you bring me bad luck'
I replied "yes I cancer." Then I cracked tumor
Well, besides cancer.
Dr: I'm afraid I have bad news and worse news
Pt: Give me the worse news first
Dr: You have cancer
Pt: Oh no! What's the bad news?
Dr: You also have Alzheimer's
Pt: Well, at least I don't have cancer
But it's grown on me.
Apparently I'm a Cancer. I was devestated at first, because I was hoping to get Capricorn, but its really started to grow on me!
I said Gemini,he said nah you have cancer
Pro-state cancer
Cancer.
And they called me a cancer, seemed harsh
He got was eaten by a giant crab.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cancer sick cancer jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working cancer testicular cancer piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.