Following is our collection of workup humor and gemini one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Cancer puns for adults, dirty taurus jokes or clean inoperable gags for kids.
There is an abundance of sagittarius jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 68 funniest jokes on cancer. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any pisces witze you can hear about cancer.
It's even funnier when children get it.
Apparently that's not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.
"The bad news is it's brain cancer."
I'm already on Stage 4
Keep kids from dying from old age, stop vaccinating today.
WEB MD: Cancer.
She was eaten by a giant crab
She felt threatened by someone more malignant than herself
cancer.
You'll actually live long enough to get it.
Doctor: Number 4 will blow your mind.
It's easier to get if you lie about having cancer
Patient: Atleast Idont have Cancer
He is considered to be the most evil scientist that ever lived.
Dark humor is like a child with cancer
It never gets old
Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
Joey gives Mary 1 stuffed animal and 2 flowers. Emma gives Mary 3 flowers and 2 stuffed animals. Sam gives Mary 2 stuffed animals and 1 flower. What does Mary have?
Cancer. Mary has cancer.
Honey, she said, there's a couple things I need to get off my chest.
He was mauled by a giant crab.
What's the difference between cancer and the middle class? At least cancer got Jobs.
HEY! So what did you get for Christmas? The second little boy pauses and says well I got a gift card and a t-shirt…you?
The first little boy excitedly replies Oh man, I got a new scooter, a new 3DS XL. A PS Vita. A new bike and were going to Disneyland on Friday. Can't believe all you got was a gift card and t-shirt! to which the second little boy replies well…at least I don't have cancer…
And all the days before that, but it still counts.
Tell me, old friend said the faithful Tonto.
Well...I recently was diagnosed with Cancer
Bad spirits, replied his old companion.
The Lone Ranger look off into the distance for a minute. After all your years of wisdom, what do you think I should do?
Chemo, sabe
Ps this is my first joke post ever so I hope I did it right.
Doctor told us that mastectomy will be necessary.
Today, I went online to see if there is any alternative...
Emma, 28 years old, NY. Looks cute...
"Dad I'm hungry."
"Hi hungry, I'm dead."
"Haha, you mean dad."
"No. I have inoperable brain cancer."
"...wha-"
"I've been waiting for the right moment to tell you."
from being crushed by a giant crab.
So a child is ill and the make a wish foundation asks "what do you want more than anything" the child responds "to trade places with Donald trump!"
They interpret as he wants to know what it's like to be president for a day.
So they ask trump, he obliges.
Trump meets the child and says "so you want to know what it's like to be president?"
The child retorts "no I just wanted you to have cancer"
He passed.
At least it isn't cancer.
"That she was killed by a giant crab."
1 and 12 people to say how inspiring it was
But he tells everyone he's dying of aids
His son asks him why.
He replies "So no one will have sex with my wife when I'm gone"
*"What's the good news?"*
"***I*** don't have cancer"
She got eaten by a giant crab
An old man is walking in the hospital and talks to himself:
-aquarius?... no, no no... was it gemini?... naaah...
young doctor cant stand it anymore and walks to him:
-cancer grandpa, you got cancer!
...when he found out, the guy went nut.
Well, it turns out writing "my money is on cancer every time" is one way to get quite a bit of hate mail.
Meesathelioma.
She died due to fatal injuries from a giant crab attack.
If I hear another one it's gonna benign
He was attacked by a giant crab.
Turns out she was talking about zodiacs. Anyway I've got three months to live.
A doctor runs a test on an elderly lady in the hospital and comes in to her room to read her the results.
"I have some bad news, and some more bad news. You have cancer, and you also have Alzheimer's disease"
The woman says "Well at least I don't have cancer."
A woman goes to the doctors complaining of stomach cramps.
She gets sent off for some test and comes back a week later.
"Well, I hope you're ready for endless sleepless nights of crying and changing dirty diapers!" the doc says.
"Wow, you mean I'm pregnant?" the woman replies thrilled.
"No, you've got bowel cancer."
Asbestos he can.
I'm so sorry.
They never get old.
"I have two pieces of bad news," the doctor says.
"What are they?"
"Well, the first piece of news is that you have cancer."
"What's the 2nd piece of news?" he asks.
"Well, the 2nd piece of bad news is that you have Alzheimer's."
The man laughs and says, "Well, at least I don't have cancer."
He killed himself three hours later.
One kid wrote:
1. HIV, AIDS
2. Cancer
3. /
The teacher asked what's '/' ?
Student replied it's a stroke.
... with cancer, both named Jordan.
I've always wanted a sick pair of Jordans.
she was attacked by a giant crab
A woman goes to the doctor complaining of abdominal pains. After a series of tests, the doctor walks back in and says to the lady, "Well, hope you don't mind changing diapers!"
Stunned, she replies, "Oh my God I'm pregnant? I can't be pregnant!"
The doctor looks at her and says, "No, you have bowel cancer"
No one got past stage 4.
Doctor: What is your zodiac sign?
Patient: Cancer.
Doctor: What a coincidence...
They said, Maybe you should check your junk.
Except for cancer
I'm already on stage four
...it never gets old.
What is making a joke about Alex Tribek's cancer diagnosis?
Mauled to death by a giant crab.
Patient: Thank God it's not Alzheimer's.
The doctor says "I'm afraid I have bad news. You have cancer... And you have alzheimer's."
The old man says "Well, at least I don't have cancer!"
Never 21
My dad didn't beat cancer
The doctor tells him that his test results are in and he needs to see him right away.
The next day, the man shows up. He walks into the doctor's office. "Hey. What's the news?"
The doctor sighs and stands up. "Well...the test results are in. I'm afraid you have cancer and onomatopoeia."
The man frowns. "What's onomatopoeia?"
"Exactly what it sounds like."
Doc: I have bad news, and I have worse news.
Guy: Wow. Ok, well let's start with the worse news.
Doc: You have cancer and only have about 3 months to live.
Guy (shaken): Ok, what's the bad news?
Doc: You have Alzheimer's Disease.
Guy (waits a beat): Well at least I don't have cancer.
Doctor: "You'll be thrilled to hear that you don't have cancer in your liver. It was all in your head!"
Me: "Oh great!"
Doctor: "No, brain cancer is way worse."
My girlfriends star sign is cancer, so it was quite ironic how she died
She got beaten to death by a giant crab
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.