Cancelled Jokes

111 cancelled jokes and hilarious cancelled puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cancelled that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Can't find anything to laugh about this year? This article looks into the cancelled jokes of our times, from having to postpone your holiday to no longer being able to join your friends at the pub. It looks at the impact of postponed events in our lives, and how we have started to cope with having to improvise and adapt to our current situation. Read on to see how weeaboos and CBS have reacted to the influx of cancelled events in 2020.

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Funniest Cancelled Short Jokes

Short cancelled jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cancelled humour may include short canceled jokes also.

  1. I bought a sail for my boat on amazon the other day. Today it dawned on me that it's not the right size so I called to cancel. They said it's too late. That sail has shipped.
  2. Great news! I got the whole plane to myself! The large group going to the psychics convention all cancelled at the last minute.
  3. I'd like to cancel my subscription to 2021 I've experienced the 7 day trial and I'm not interested
  4. If foreigners are upset to have had their visas cancelled... Why don't they just apply for MasterCards instead?
  5. The blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court The game would be cancelled.
  6. Did you know that if all the capillaries of a human lung were rolled out onto a tennis court... The game would likely be cancelled
  7. Rick and Morty cancelled over joke Dan Harmon and Rick & Morty Are Canceled Because 2020 Has No Sense of Humor
  8. <> Apple has decided to cancel the children's iPod. Apparently iTouch kids isn't a good product name.
  9. How do you milk a sheep? Sell headphone for $549.
  10. Trump cancelled his trip to Britain because he doesn't want to go anywhere he doesn't feel welcome... So what's he still doing in the white house?

Share These Cancelled Jokes With Friends

Cancelled One Liners

Which cancelled one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cancelled? I can suggest the ones about rejected and collapsed.

  1. I recently submitted my resume to Sony But they canceled the interview
  2. Seminar "How to avoid frauds" is canceled. Tickets are non-refundable.
  3. Why was Medusa canceled? She kept objectifying people.
  4. What does the fox say? We're canceling all of your favorite shows.
  5. Why was the feminist picnic cancelled? because nobody made sandwiches
  6. What do you call a abortion in Czechoslovakia? A cancelled check.
  7. What do you call the trend to cancel pineapples? #Banananas
  8. I had to cancel my dsylexics meeting tonight I never go out on Friday the 13th
  9. Why was the meeting for impotent men cancelled? They knew no one would come.
  10. Why was the prison poetry slam cancelled? There were more cons than prose
  11. All flights from John Lennon Airport are cancelled. Imagine all the people.
  12. I made an appointment but it was cancelled. It was ... disappointing.
  13. Did you hear they're cancelling Halloween this year? Because nobody would wear a mask.
  14. It was a real pain canceling my gym membership. They made me hand in a too weak notice.
  15. My doctor cancelled my visit today. I was Disappointed.

Cancelled Flight Jokes

Here is a list of funny cancelled flight jokes and even better cancelled flight puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • All flights to John Lennon Airport have been cancelled Imagine all the people...
  • What are the chances of my Ryanair flight being cancelled this Christmas? Sky high.

    \- I hate myself too

Cancelled Wedding Jokes

Here is a list of funny cancelled wedding jokes and even better cancelled wedding puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas? They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.
  • Did You Hear that Iggy Azalea Got Engaged? She's already cancelled her wedding and reception due to lack of RSVPs.
Cancelled joke, Did You Hear that Iggy Azalea Got Engaged?

Cancelled Holiday Jokes

Here is a list of funny cancelled holiday jokes and even better cancelled holiday puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Putin planned a holiday trip to the U.S. for the President's Day weekend sales... but he cancelled at the last minute when he remembered he'd already bought one.
Cancelled joke, Putin planned a holiday trip to the U.S. for the President's Day weekend sales...

Hilarious Fun Cancelled Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about cancelled you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean disabled jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cancelled pranks.

I was at a Chinese restaurant...

when I realized that a duckling is a small duck. So I decided to cancel my order of steamed dumplings.

My church was going to have a sermon on prophecy today...

but it was cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Why did they have to cancel the volleyball games in the special olympics?

It wasn't going over too well.

I just cancelled my gym membership

It wasn't working out.

I decided to cancel my gym membership today...

...just didn't work out.

My thoughts on MTV's "Teen Mom" being cancelled.

MTV has cancelled "Teen Mom".

At least MTV knows when to pull out.

On the Duck Dynasty Outrage,....

It's such a double standard.
When a white guy acts bad on TV, people rush to A&E and demand the show is cancelled.
When a black guy acts bad on TV, you don't see people rushing to Fox demanding they cancel COPS.

NASA was planning on building a restaurant on the moon

They cancelled because they figured it wouldn't have any atmosphere.

Password security questions for the depressed

What is the name of your least favorite child?
In what year did you abandon your dreams?
What is the maiden name of your father's mistress?
At what age did your childhood pet run away?
What was the name of your favorite unpaid internship?
In what city did you first experience ennui?
What is your ex-wife's newest last name?
What sports team do you fetishize to avoid meaningful discussion with others?
What is the name of your favorite canceled TV show?
What was the middle name of your first rebound?
On what street did you lose your childlike sense of wonder?
When did you stop trying?

Donald Trump has cancelled a planned trip to Israel.

When asked why, Trump said, "They already have a wall and fear of Muslims. My work there is done."

'How To Cope With Disappointment' ;-)

Saw a sign outside of an office building which said
"Today's workshop 'How To Cope With Disappointment' has been cancelled"

I took 8 courses of spanish...

...but then they cancelled Dora the Explorer

Did you hear about the feminist picnic?

Yeah, apparently it got cancelled, no one wanted to make the sandwiches.

Psychic convention cancelled ...

... due to unforeseen circumstances

I was sitting in the Chinese restaurant, thinking about how duckling means little duck...

So I canceled my order of dumplings.

I just cancelled my gym membership

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.

Apple came up with a tablet computer with touch screen, geared toward children.

They cancelled the product when they realized nobody wants to buy something called iTouch Kids.

A blonde calls the doctor to cancel her appointment.

"Im going to have to cancel my appointment", says the blonde.
"Why?", asks the doctor.
"I'm not feeling well...", responds the blonde.

Did you hear NASCAR and Formula One we're trying to make an Ultimate Showdown race but it got cancelled due to controversy?

Apparently NASCAR fans didn't want to mix the races....

Why was the spelling bee cancelled?

One of the participants spelled disaster.

TIL the Titanic was scheduled to have an evacuation drill the same day it sank but was canceled by the captain.

Now let that sink in.

Did you hear Louis c**...'s new movie is cancelled?

You still might find him coming soon in a theater near you.

Why is it spelled "Cancelled" if you're British but "Canceled" if you're American?

Because America gave Britain that L in 1783

s**... with me is like a cancelled first date

It's over before it even started.

Did you hear Easter was cancelled?

They found the body.

A blue whale is the largest animal that's ever existed

It's so big that if it was laid out on a basketball court the game would have to be cancelled.

[Solved] "What does the Fox say?"


How do you cancel an appointment with a s**... bank?

Tell them you can't come.

I cancelled my doctor's appointment recently

I was disappointed

Today's performance of Hamilton in Chicago was cancelled due to the cold.

Once again, Brrr killed Hamilton.

After buying a new sail for my boat, Amazon told me it's too late to cancel my order.

That sail has shipped.

Why did NASA cancel the all-female spacewalk?

None of them would go outside the rocket wearing the same outfit.

Alabama is canceling home schooling.

Apparently too many teachers were having s**... with the students.

I can't believe Comic Con 2020 got cancelled because of covid 19!

It was the one group of people who were 100% guaranteed to wear masks.

Yo Mamma so ugly...

Yo momma so ugly that we created a global conspiracy "plandemic" and ruined the world economy and expedited the new world order and ruined Trump's rally and banned the Confederate flag from nascar and cancelled major league baseball just so she'd wear a mask.

Why was Minecraft the movie cancelled?

Because all of the actors wore blockface.

NASCAR is officially canceled

After discovering it's just a human traffic ring

Covid is canceling out all of these fun events like Circus's, rodeos, and concerts.

In about a month, it will really be no Fair.

Abortion isn't m**...

It's cancelling a pre-order

My friend from Prague finally got his US citizenship approved...

He is a cancelled Czech now.

Just got the email "Webinar on how to avoid frauds is cancelled"

And the fee is non-refundable.

Sorry everyone,

Today's session on dealing with disappointment has been cancelled.

Homeschooling cancelled in Alabama

Too many students sleeping with their teachers.

The 12 Days of Corona

In the year 2020, the pandemic gave to me:
12 Cancelled Plans
11 Face Masks
10 Sanitizers
9 m**... Hornets
8 Zoom Calls
7 Mental Breakdowns
6 Feet Apart
5 Curbside Pickups
4 Quarantines
3 Travel Restrictions
2 Karens Complaining
And a massive shortage of Grocery Store TP

I purchased some noise canceling headphones...

I thought people would find them annoying but so far I haven't heard any complaints.

This is the first year that I have to cancel our family trip on winter vacation to Europe because of Covid....

Otherwise every year we had to cancel because of money.

a traveling salesman ...

So a traveling salesman goes into a fairly grungy diner. The waitress comes over, and she doesn't look much better.
Deciding not to take any chances, the salesman orders two hamburgers and a hot dog.
The waitress comes over a few minutes later with the hamburgers under her arms.
The salesman says, "Why are the hamburgers under your arms?"
The waitress says, "I'm keeping them warm."
And the salesman says, "Cancel the hot dog."

Why would h**... have had a Twitter account if it was around back then?

He cancelled cultures.

Why did Mike Tyson have to cancel his big fight with Chris Hemsworth?

He was Thor.

Today, I learned that some people are disgusted that others pee in the shower

I don't think it was necessary to cancel my gym membership over it though.

Dont see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.

If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too though.

They're teaching apple juicing down the road from me, but it got cancelled before I could go.

It was a pressing issue.

TIL after his show on Netflix was cancelled, Jon Bernthal was forced to take a job as a doorman in a theatre who would occasionally warm up the audience with dad jokes

He became widely known as the pun usher.

So right now I'm walking down the railroad tracks with my new Bose noise canceling headpho

So right now I'm walking down the railroad tracks with my new Bose noise canceling headpho

It's no surprise that Australia's Federal Court overturned Djokovic's visa cancellation.

It's a Kangaroo court after all.

A woman calls customer service..

"Hi, I bought a maternity dress through your site and I want to cancel the order." she says.
The service rep says, "Sure, I can do that for you.. but I'd also like to get your feedback; may I ask why?"
"Yeah," says the customer. "My delivery was faster than yours was."

There was going to be a great TV show about the Air Force, but one of the actors was accused of s**... misconduct…

so they cancelled the pilot.

Did a show last night, 75 mins, thought it went well.

Didn't see any walkouts. Today, I'm told my show's been canceled. Great Stuff. I'm truly sorry for everyone who travelled to see the show tonight.

Cancelled joke, Did a show last night, 75 mins, thought it went well.

jokes about cancelled