The Best 49 Cancel Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cancel jokes. There are some cancel defund jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cancel fee puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cancel Jokes and Puns

I was at a Chinese restaurant...

when I realized that a duckling is a small duck. So I decided to cancel my order of steamed dumplings.

<> Apple has decided to cancel the children's iPod.

Apparently iTouch kids isn't a good product name.

Why did they have to cancel the volleyball games in the special olympics?

It wasn't going over too well.

Cancel joke, Why did they have to cancel the volleyball games in the special olympics?

I just cancelled my gym membership

It wasn't working out.

I decided to cancel my gym membership today...

...just didn't work out.


On the Duck Dynasty Outrage,....

It's such a double standard.

When a white guy acts bad on TV, people rush to A&E and demand the show is cancelled.

When a black guy acts bad on TV, you don't see people rushing to Fox demanding they cancel COPS.

I had to cancel my dsylexics meeting tonight

I never go out on Friday the 13th

Cancel joke, I had to cancel my dsylexics meeting tonight

Why did the redneck high school cancel driver's ed class?

They needed the car for sex ed.

What is a creationist's favorite button in pokemon?

B to cancel evolution

Saw HBO were going to be making a new TV show set in an airport...

They had to cancel it though as the pilot didn't take off.

Albanians invented a new brand of a computer

The keyboard has two buttons. The first is "Test" and the second is "Cancel".

You can explore cancel brazzers reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cancel financial dad jokes. There are also cancel puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas?

They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.

Loving beer and wanting abs is hard

So I had to cancel my gym membership due to conflict of interests

Why did they cancel basketball in the Special Olympics?

All the players kept getting disqualified for excessive dribbling.

I just cancelled my gym membership

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.

A blonde calls the doctor to cancel her appointment.

"Im going to have to cancel my appointment", says the blonde.
"Why?", asks the doctor.
"I'm not feeling well...", responds the blonde.

Cancel joke, A blonde calls the doctor to cancel her appointment.

Why was 'Sausage Wars' cancelled?

It was the wurst TV show ever.

Why did the cosmic horror cancel its cable service?

It switched to CtHulu.

I wouldn't shed a tear if you cancelled MS America, nor lose sleep if you cancelled MS Universe

But please don't you dare cancel MS Paint :*(


I just cancelled my overpriced gym membership

I feel like I've finally lifted a huge weight off my chest

I had booked a U2 for my wife's birthday party...

Unfortunately they had to cancel. Luckily I found a replacement at the last minute. This new guy was amazing. He looked the part, sang all the songs exactly, and even his mannerisms were spot on.

After the party I went up to the replacement and asked how much I owed him for the gig. He said, "Don't worry mate, I'm pro Bono."

Ole Miss had to cancel their Living Nativity

They couldn't find three wise men or a virgin

after 9 months of procrastination, of psyching myself up and never following through, last night i finally went to the gym

to cancel that damned membership.

So a man had an appointment with a psychologist...

The man couldn't find any clean clothes to wear, so he decided to cover himself with saran wrap. As the man approaches the office, the psychologist says to him,

"I decided to cancel our appointment together."

"What? Why?" asked the man

"Because I can clearly see your nuts."

How do you cancel an appointment with a sperm bank?

Tell them you can't come.

After I cancelled our trip to China, I told my wife I had a surprise for her...

Close you eyes... no Peking!

I went to the most nonchalent doctor for an MRI scan...

...after all the trouble of going in the machine he randomly decided to cancel the appointment before even turning the machine on.

Zero flux given.

I cancelled my doctor's appointment recently

I was disappointed

Me: "Yeah I'm gonna have to cancel, I'm not feeling too well"

Receptionist at the doctors office: "..."

A French internet cafe had to cancel a CS:GO tournament it was supposed to host, after someone stole all the baked goods.

The gamers could not tolerate that much baguette loss.

My doctor told me he doesn't want to work anymore and we'll have to cancel my next visit.

I got disappointed.

Why did the warden cancel the prison writing contest?

There were too many cons and not enough prose

When you miss or cancel an appointment,

that is a disappointment.

I heard the Greta Van Fleet had to cancel the rest of their US tour. The lead singer pulled his hernia.

From lifting too many Led Zeppelin songs.

After buying a new sail for my boat, Amazon told me it's too late to cancel my order.

That sail has shipped.

The hot dog

So a traveling salesman goes into a fairly grungy diner. The waitress comes over, and she doesn't look too good, either.

Deciding he'd better not take any chances, the guy orders two hamburgers and a hot dog.

The waitress comes over a few minutes later with the hamburgers under her arms.

The guy says, "Why are the hamburgers under your arms?"

The waitress says, "I'm keeping them warm."

And the guy says, "Cancel the hot dog."

Why did NASA cancel the all-female spacewalk?

None of them would go outside the rocket wearing the same outfit.

On March 27th, our math teacher burst into class and threatened to cancel Spring Break unless the one who's cheated on all their tests reveals themselves before next month

How are we supposed to catch a cheater in eight days?!

Does anyone know how to cancel eBay bids?

I bid £10 on a cowboy outfit and I'm about 5 minutes away from owning the Tory Party.

We don't need to cancel the World Cup because of Covid-19

Because soccer players never get within 2 metres of each other anyway.

How do you fight cancel culture?

With reboots!

Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.

Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.

A father decided to cancel his surgery.

"Don't you want to get rid of that tumor?" His children asked, to which he just shrugged at.

"Its growing on me."

I bought a sail for my boat on Amazon the other day. Today it dawned on me that it's not the right size so I called to cancel. They said it's too late.

That sail has shipped.

I'd like to cancel my subscription to 2021

I've experienced the 7 day trial and I'm not interested

This is the first year that I have to cancel our family trip on winter vacation to Europe because of Covid....

Otherwise every year we had to cancel because of money.

a traveling salesman ...

So a traveling salesman goes into a fairly grungy diner. The waitress comes over, and she doesn't look much better.

Deciding not to take any chances, the salesman orders two hamburgers and a hot dog.

The waitress comes over a few minutes later with the hamburgers under her arms.

The salesman says, "Why are the hamburgers under your arms?"

The waitress says, "I'm keeping them warm."

And the salesman says, "Cancel the hot dog."

Why did Mike Tyson have to cancel his big fight with Chris Hemsworth?

He was Thor.

Today, I learned that some people are disgusted that others pee in the shower

I don't think it was necessary to cancel my gym membership over it though.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cancel application jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cancel events piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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