The Best 80 Canadians Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Canadians jokes. There are some canadians canada jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these canadians canadian military puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Canadians Jokes and Puns

How do you get 100 drunk and rowdy Canadians out of a pool?

You say "Please get out of the pool."

Why do Canadians call alcohol anonymous triple A?

AA, Eh

How do you get 50 Canadians out of the swimming pool?

Say, " Everyone out of the pool please."

Canadians joke, How do you get 50 Canadians out of the swimming pool?

How did Canada pick its name?

There were two Canadians and an American. They put letters in a hat and drew. They got "C-eh", "N-eh", "D-eh". The American didn't know what was going on, but he relayed the message.

I know i need to work on my execution.

What kind of batteries do stuttering Canadians use?

Triple Eh's.

Bit of a different post here - an author introduces a joke but never reveals the punchline...anyone heard this joke? Or make up your own punchline?

In *Infinite Jest* by David Foster Wallace, at one point there's a line -

"...asking Mario if he knows what you call three Canadians copulating on a snowmobile."

But he doesn't say the punchline. I'm assuming maybe this is a commonish kinda joke? I've tried to think of what the punchline is but can't.

I always thought Americans should say "B".

Because Canadians say "Eh", and Mexicans say "Ci".

Canadians joke, I always thought Americans should say "B".

Who do Canadians call when their car breaks down.

Triple Eh!

Some say that Mexicans are bordering on the insane...

But so what? So are Canadians.

The Boston snowstorm so was bad the Canadians reported on it.

They called it Tuesday.

What blood type do Canadians have?

Type "eh"

You can explore canadians territories reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean canadians standoff dad jokes. There are also canadians puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What do Canadians put on their steaks?



Why don't Canadians wear tank tops?

They don't have the right to bare arms

How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?

Just two. One to politely ask and the other to politely help.

How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they don't change light bulbs, they accept them the way they are.

Where do Canadians play Basketball?

In the NB - "eh"

Canadians joke, Where do Canadians play Basketball?

2 Canadians are walking through the snow...

The first one sees a boot in a nearby snowbank and says:

"Look, a boot"

The second one replies:

"About what?"

What's a Canadians favorite hole for sex?

The eh'nus.

What kind of eggs do Canadians prefer?

Grade eh?

Statistics show that most Canadians are nosey.

They do, however, say "zed".

Why don't Canadians have many orgies?

Too many thank-you notes.

How do you get three drunk, rowdy Canadians out of a pool?

Ask them to get out of the pool.

How do you get a bunch of Canadians out of a swimming pool?

Say "Get out of the pool."

How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?

"Please Get Out The Pool"

Justin Trudeau announces free lazer eye surgery for all Canadians in 4 years...

When asked why he put forward this proposal, he responded by saying "because it's 2020".

Americans may pull guns but Canadians....

..may pull leaves.

"If you know about us Canadians, we like to say sorry..."

"And if you knew that already... I'm sorry"

Canadians are easy to identify ...

... you can spot them 1.6 kilometres away.

Do you know why Americans think Canadians are so apologetic?

It's because every time someone tells us they're American, we say "oh, sorry."

What's crude and beneath most Canadians?


How do remove a bunch of drunk Canadians from the pool?

You ask them to leave.

How do you get 20 Canadians out of a pool?

"Okay folks, time to get out of the pool!"

If Canadians say "Ay" and Mexicans say "Si"...

Why don't Americans say "B"?

What do Canadians listen to when they go clubbing?


Account hacked

My account was hacked the other day. The poster was so polite that he sent me a message to ask me if he could post through my account.

Thank God for the Canadians..

Why do Canadians always do it doggy-style?

So they can both watch the hockey game.

What type of beer makes Canadians use the the bathroom the most?


Why do Canadians have free alphabet healthcare?

Because of all their sore E's

Here is a Canada day joke! How do you get 50 rowdy drunk Canadians out of a pool?

You ask them to please get out of the pool.

Here in Michigan's Upper Peninsula we have a program for recovering Canadians.

It's called Eh Eh.

Why do Canadians always have such good hair?

Because of all the moose.

if Canadians say "aye" and Mexicans say "si"...

does that mean Americans say "b"?ο»Ώ

What blood type do all Canadians have?

B positive A

Why don't Canadians find Americans attractive?

An American "A" is a Canadian "Eh."

Intellectuals know that the Earth revolves around the Sun...

Canadians know that the universe revolves around Toronto

What do you call a group of Canadians?

An apology

A Muslim and a Christian had a disagreement in a bar... they talked it over and resolved their differences because they are both Canadians.

What do the Canadians use to hang themselves

A moose

Why do Canadians always beat Germans at hockey?

Canadians bring their 'eh' game; Germans bring their wurst.

Why do Canadians do well in the Winter Olympics?

Because they always bring their eh Game.

Why do Canadians say the alphabet backwards?

They always have to end with A.

Now that Canada legalized weed...

there's a whole lot of Canadians bakin

Canadians are always viewed as nice and polite but so help me, if they invade the US...

They'll be sorry.

Why do Canadians prefer Apple and Logitech products?

Because they are so apple-lo-gitech

An american and Canadian are having a conversation

The american asks: Is it true that Canadians apologise a lot?

The Canadian thought about it for a while, shook his head, and replied:
I'm sorry, I don't know

Anytime I hear a mean joke about Canadians, I immediately go to the hospital to get my feelings checked.

For free.

What boardgame do Canadians play the most?


Why are Canadians always happy?

Their beer is stronger.

Why do Canadians make such good accountants?

Because they're type eh?

2 Canadians are sitting outside watching the night sky.

When the first guy asks the other If you had to be one star in the night sky, which one would you be, eh?

The second guy thinks for a moment and says I'd probably be the brightest star in the sky.

To which the first guy quickly responds You can't be Sirius A!

Why are Canadians always over qualified for jobs in the US?

Because zero degrees in Canada is the same as 32 in the States.

Four Canadians arrived at an all-way stop sign from each direction at exactly the same time

They're still there

Why are Canadians so good at sports?

They always bring their eh game

Why are Canadians so smart

Because they always get strait eh's

What did Canadians use to communicate during the various wars they fought?

Moose Code.

Canadians are perfect retail workers.

They are excellent at apologizing for everything, even if it is not their own fault.

What do Canadians call a Kumon teacher in Japan?

It's common-sense, eh?

A work buddy of mine

A work buddy of mine is Canadian and he told me This joke that I found pretty funny. I am American.

"There are only two things Canadians are proud of. That they're Canadian. And that they aren't American"

I have always head that Canadians are nicer than most other people...

... that's not really Trudeau.

How do Canadians say The United States Of America ...?

The U.S Eh

Two Canadians in Kentucky

So these two Canadians are driving into Louisville, Kentucky and are arguing about how to pronounce the name of the city.

Its pronounced Lou-is-vill…obviously The oilman from Alberta says

No, you see, it is French! It is pronounced Loo-ie-vee! The guy from Quebec retorts.

They stop at a Burger King for lunch while they're in town. How do you pronounce the name of this place? Say it real slow, we're having an argument we want you to settle.

The kid at the counter takes a deep breath and says… burr-gerr-king

Canadians and British are very upset about yesterday's events.

They are no longer the only ones that rushed the Capitol.

What kind of beer do Canadians get when they head towards the bathroom.


What do Canadians say when they see an oak tree?

Ok (oak-eh)

How do you get 127 Canadians out of a swimming pool?

You say "hey everyone it's time to get out of the pool now"

My friend said she's only attracted to Canadians.

I guess she's eh-sexual.

Why is Alberta known as the Texas of Canada?

Because Canadians don't know about Arkansas.

why do Canadians have sex dog style?

So they both watch the hockey game.

How do you get a hundred drunk and rowdy Canadians out of your pool?

You say, Please get out of the pool.

The convoy trucks are leaving Ottawa.

They're on the Highway to Hull.

(Canadians will get this joke)

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the canadians canadian knock knock jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working canadians canadian maple syrup piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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