Following is our collection of funny Canada jokes. There are some canada usa jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these canada only in canada puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
They chartered a small plane to take them into the Rockies for a week hunting moose.
They managed to bag 6. As they were loading the plane to return, the Pilot said the plane could take only 4 moose.
The two guys objected strongly. "Last year we shot six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours."
Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. The plane took off. However, while attempting to cross some mountains, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down.
Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, only the two rednecks survived the
crash.
After climbing out of the wreckage, Billy Ray asked Billy Bob, "Any idea where we
are?"
Billy Bob replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."
Then you'll all be sorry
...Canada sends money, Brazilia sends food, USA sends 300k mexicans.
They picked letters out of a hat: C eh, N eh, D eh.
There was an elderly couple who lived in a small house, right smack dab on the U.S. and Canadian border. For several years the two goverments had argued over which nation the house belonged to. One day the elderly couple recived a letter stating that they were now considered full American citizens and there property was deemed as American soil. After reading this the old woman looks to her husband as says "Thank goodness, No more of those cold Canadian winters.
Nunavut.
A Mexican, an American, and a Canadian are all heading back to their home countries after going on a vacation in Europe. Suddenly the boat starts to sink. The Canadian says, "The boat is too heavy, we need to get rid of some stuff." The Mexican says, "We already have too many of these in Mexico!" and he throws the tacos out of the boat. The Canadian says, "We already have too many of these in Canada!" and he throws all the maple syrup off the boat. The American says, "We already have too many of these in America!" and he throws the Mexican off the boat.
*apoligies for racism, I am not a racist person*
Now I know how Canada feels
Nunavut.
I guess the title "12.8748 Kilometer" just isn't as catchy.
It was kind of cute and exciting when it first started out, now its a bit obnoxious and should probably just stay in Canada.
You can explore canada territories reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean canada america dad jokes. There are also canada puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
They had a bag of letters, and one person announced as he picked each letter out " 'C', eh, 'N', eh, 'D', eh".
Canada's Worst Air Disaster occurred earlier today when a Cessna 152, a small two-seater plane, crashed into a cemetery early this morning in central Newfoundland.
Newfie search and rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as searching continues through the evening.
Make him run across Canada. (sorry)
Canada.
Sorry.
but he's having Nunavut.
*Nunavut*
All the 4 founding hosiers were sitting around and no one could agree on a name. They finally decided to put a bunch of letters in a hat and 3 people would draw one out at a time while the last transcribed the name.
The first guy drew and read, "C, eh?"
The next drew, "N, eh?"
Finally the last maple head drew and said, "D, eh?"
But every time I see one of those statistics maps about how terrible we are, there's this little country on the northwest border of Canada that's just as bad as we are.
It's funny for me though because I live in Canada.
Anonymoose
Its called the United States.
...if I should move to Canada or New Zealand.
cause you leave every girl in Canada Dry.
They should go to Mexico, then at least there will be a wall between them and Trump.
\- Canada
MΓ©xico & Canada
Is the letter A
It's my favorite day of the year!
So now I know how Canada feels...
Then you'll all be sorry
Mexico & Canada
...then we'll all be sorry.
It was 3 guys sitting around a table and the first guy goes, "what about a C, eh?" the second guy says "yea what about an N eh?" and the last guy says "what about a D eh?"
I don't know if this has been told here before but it's definitely my goto joke.
Everybody will be sorry.
We call them "three seasoners".
They don't make it through the fourth.
But he was having Nunavut.
^^^the ^^^pronunciation ^^^doesn't ^^^work ^^^that ^^^way ^^^but ^^^whatever ^^^it's ^^^OC
Unable to come up with any ideas, they decided the best course of action would be to draw random letters out of a hat.
One man pulled out a letter, cleared his throat, and read,
"C, eh."
The letter was written down. The man pulled out another letter and read,
"N, eh."
This, too, was recorded. The man drew one more letter and read,
"D, eh."
Apollo G
Being in Canada helped.
Canada!!!
...Frankly, I'm tariff-eyed.
>"C," eh? "N," eh? "D," eh?
It's Trudeau
The first prime minister went up on stage and started pulling letters and announcing them to the crowd. "C, eh?"..."N, eh?"..."D, eh?"
Nice neighbors.
In both countries, it's legal to get stoned.
So the dignitaries of the associated Provinces of what we now call "Canada" got together over a game of Scrabble to determine the name of the country. They decided they would pick the name based on the first three letters they grabbed. First one: "C, eh?" Second one, "n, eh?" Third one, "d, eh?"
I don't really mind, but I wonder what my Aunt John is gonna do...
Because zero degrees in Canada is the same as 32 in the States.
Dogs are like Canada. They're incredibly friendly, but to some, to a naive degree.
Cats are like England. They're rude and act like they're better than everybody, but we find them so charming for some reason.
Parrots are like America. They blindly repeat anybody they believe is of higher intelligence, especially if the owner is Russian.
Goldfish are like Carpatho-Ukraine. They'd be lucky to last a year.
And then you'll all be sorry.
Canada Day was yesterday!
Under Trump, America can't even get to Canada.
Much love from Toronto, stay safe!
A patron in a Montreal restaurant turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded.
"This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked 'C' gave me boiling water."
"But, Monsieur, 'C' stands for chaud β French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."
"Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked 'C'."
"Of course," said the manager. "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."
**
Canada and Mexico
(German Joke)
is it a 34 degree murder in the US?
It's Trudeau.
C, eh?
N, eh?
D, eh?
Thank god I live in Canada
Then you'll all be sorry
It stands for Before Christ, Eh?
But I've narrowed my choices down to Mexico or Canada based on moving costs.
Mexico has agreed to pay for the wall and Canada wants one too.
It isn't Trudeau.
I think it's all maple leaf.
I recently met a Chinese man in Toronto and got to know that his name was "Kannaswami .
I asked him, "How did you ever get a name like that being a Chinese?"
He said -"Many, many years ago when I first went to Canada, I was standing in line at the Political Asylums Immigration Counter. The man in front of me was a Sri Lankan Tamil refugee.
The white lady at the counter looked at him and asked "What is your name?"
He replied "Kannaswami".
Then she looked at me and asked "What's your name?"
I said, "Sem Ting".
So now I know how Canada feels.
It's Trudeau.
β¦the smell would be absolutely atrocious.
After a hard day on the slopes, he retires to a bar at the bottom of the mountain. After about five or six whiskeys, he looks up and notices a stuffed animal with antlers on the wall... He asks the bartender, "What the fock is that?"
The bartender replies, "It's a moose."
The Scottish chap shouts back, "Fock me! How big are the cats here?"
He got straight eh's.
I guess you could call this a Betty Whiteout
...but it's Trudeau.
It's true doe.
From "Eh, what's up, Doc"? to "Whats up Doc, eh"?
Nunavut
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the canada aboot jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working canada canada day piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.