The Best 93 Canad Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Canad jokes. There are some canad gorgeous jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these canad ugly puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Canad Jokes and Puns

What does Canadian Fonzie say?

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, Eh?

How did they name Canada?

They picked letters out of a hat: C eh, N eh, D eh.

A Canadian and a Saudi Arabian had a baby...

They named it Yasir Youbetcha

Canad joke, A Canadian and a Saudi Arabian had a baby...

Why do Canadians call alcohol anonymous triple A?

AA, Eh

How do you get 50 Canadians out of the swimming pool?

Say, " Everyone out of the pool please."


If you're Canadian before you enter the bathroom, and American when you leave, what are you inside?

European!

Why wasn't the Canadian scared at the movie theater?

He knew Nunavut was real.

Canad joke, Why wasn't the Canadian scared at the movie theater?

Who's the most canadian actor?

T. Hanks

How did Canada pick its name?

There were two Canadians and an American. They put letters in a hat and drew. They got "C-eh", "N-eh", "D-eh". The American didn't know what was going on, but he relayed the message.

I know i need to work on my execution.

What did the Canadian think of his hardwood flooring?

It was Oak, Eh!

How much of Canada has a person from Iqaluit seen?

Nunavut.

You can explore canad knew reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean canad seats dad jokes. There are also canad puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why did the Canadian DJ turn down the gig at the local Y?

Because why emcee, eh?

Why do Canadian women use hockey pucks instead of tampons?

Because they last for 3 periods.

Canadian summer

I asked my Canadian buddy "Did you have a good summer?"

He said "No! I was working that day."

The most Canadian joke i know

How did the newfie die of ice fishing?

He got hit by the zamboni!

How did Canada get its name?

They had a bag of letters, and one person announced as he picked each letter out " 'C', eh, 'N', eh, 'D', eh".

Canad joke, How did Canada get its name?

Canada was like, "This is all part of the Northwest Territories,"

but the Inuit were having Nunavut.

Canada could have had the best of three worlds.

They could have had American technology, French cuisine, and British culture.

Instead they have French technology, British cuisine, and American culture.

What do Canadians put on their steaks?

Eh-1

(Sorry)


Canadian castles...

They really aren't my fort-eh.

A Canadian walks into a cafe, and the barista asks, "Would you like a latte?"

And the Canadian responds to him "Nah, just a bit, eh."

Why don't Canadians wear tank tops?

They don't have the right to bare arms

A Canadian version of Breaking Bad is in the works

It'll be one episode long. Walt is diagnosed with cancer and receives treatment.

How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they don't change light bulbs, they accept them the way they are.

When Canada abolished the penny there was no public protest at all...

...I guess Canada fears change

Why don't Canadians have many orgies?

Too many thank-you notes.

A Canadian walks into a bar

A Canadian walks into a bar, steps back, apologizes to the bar, and walks away.

Canadians are easy to identify ...

... you can spot them 1.6 kilometres away.

Why is the Canadian school system broken

because they only give out ehs

Canadian and a American watching a movie

Canadian: Lets watch a movie.

American: Have you seen Titanic?

Canadian: What's that about?

American: Yes, it was. A big one that sank.

Canada already has a wall that keeps out the Mexicans...

Its called the United States.

How can you tell when a Canadian is successful?

He dies in his LA home at 82.

How do you get 20 Canadians out of a pool?

"Okay folks, time to get out of the pool!"

50% of Canada

Is the letter A

Anyone ever try Canadian Bacon?

I hear it's the nicest bacon around.

If Canadians say "Ay" and Mexicans say "Si"...

Why don't Americans say "B"?

Why do Canadians always do it doggy-style?

So they can both watch the hockey game.

A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ.

Here's how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.

You know how Canada got its name right?

It was 3 guys sitting around a table and the first guy goes, "what about a C, eh?" the second guy says "yea what about an N eh?" and the last guy says "what about a D eh?"

I don't know if this has been told here before but it's definitely my goto joke.

When Canada takes over the world...

Everyone will be sorry.

(As I am for this joke)

Why is the Canadian version of GTA easier?

Hospitals don't take your money when you die.

My Canadian friend did really well on an exam

He got an Eh

In Canada, we don't call the homeless homeless...

We call them "three seasoners".

They don't make it through the fourth.

What did the Canadian Sniper say after making a record-breaking kill shot?

Sorry

A Canadian sniper hit a target from 2 miles

When asked how he did it, he said it was a team effort. "I could have never done it without my spotter and 2 sweepers."

Here is a Canada day joke! How do you get 50 rowdy drunk Canadians out of a pool?

You ask them to please get out of the pool.

Why do Canadians always have such good hair?

Because of all the moose.

As a Canadian..

Every time I hear a bad joke about being Canadian...

...I go right to the Hospital and get my feelings checked for free

As a Canadian I never realized how slow my internet was until today.

I just now started seeing Thanksgiving posts!

What would you get if Canada had a kid with Mexico?

Juantario

How Do You Keep Canadian Bacon From Curling

You take away their little brooms

When Canada stopped using pennies, my dad lost his job.

Now he just doesn't make cents.

I said Canada was made up of ten provinces and two territories

But the Inuits were having Nunavut.

When Canada was first founded, its leaders were having trouble coming up with a name.

Unable to come up with any ideas, they decided the best course of action would be to draw random letters out of a hat.

One man pulled out a letter, cleared his throat, and read,

"C, eh."

The letter was written down. The man pulled out another letter and read,

"N, eh."

This, too, was recorded. The man drew one more letter and read,

"D, eh."

If Canada launched a space shuttle, what would it be called?

Apollo G

Why do Canadians always beat Germans at hockey?

Canadians bring their 'eh' game; Germans bring their wurst.

In Canada if everyone was turned into walking letters

U would be their favourite.

Why do Canadians do well in the Winter Olympics?

Because they always bring their eh Game.

When Canada was first unified, they realized they needed a name for this new country, so they decided to draw letters oot of a basket to name it.

The first prime minister went up on stage and started pulling letters and announcing them to the crowd. "C, eh?"..."N, eh?"..."D, eh?"

Two Canadian body builders were working out at the gym.

After they were done, they sat together in the locker room.

One turned to the other and said, "I'm sore, eh?"

The other said, "What for?"

Canadians are always viewed as nice and polite but so help me, if they invade the US...

They'll be sorry.

How Canada Was Named

So the dignitaries of the associated Provinces of what we now call "Canada" got together over a game of Scrabble to determine the name of the country. They decided they would pick the name based on the first three letters they grabbed. First one: "C, eh?" Second one, "n, eh?" Third one, "d, eh?"

Why are Canadians always over qualified for jobs in the US?

Because zero degrees in Canada is the same as 32 in the States.

Canada got it all wrong!

So Canada got it all wrong. I mean, they had the opportunity to have American technology, British culture and French cuisine, but went with American culture, British cuisine and French technology!

Heard this about 20 years ago and it still makes me chuckle. Can't beat a good stereotype!

Why are Canadians so good at sports?

They always bring their eh game

Canada called.

Now they want a wall too.

A Canadian visits a small church while on holiday in Scotland.

The Canadian is intrigued by the intricately carved pulpit and, being something of a history buff, would like to know more about it so approaches the little old vicar.

"Excuse me sir, would you be so kind as to tell me what the pulpit is made of?"

"Aye. Wood."

"You would?"

"Nay yew, is oak."

"Oak? Eh?"

"Glad to have helped."

A Canadian, a Swiss, a German, a Mexican, a American, a Korean, a Austrian, a Brazilian, a Estonian, a Filipino, a British, a Egyptian, a Icelander, a Jamaican, a South African, a Puerto Rican, a Chinese, a Latvian, a Moroccan, a Taiwanese, a Spaniard, and a Romanian walk into a fancy restaurant.

The waiter stops them and says Sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai.

A Canadian walks into a restaurant...

He orders some fish, and the waitress asks, "how would you like your fish cooked?"

He replies, "Friday."

I went to a Canadian fight one time

And a hockey game broke out :(

How did Canada get rid of all their COVID cases?

They sent all the Americans home to their own country.

Can you believe the Canadian prime minister's name isn't Trump?

It's Trudeau...

As a Canadian, the Presidential Debate feels like...

As a Canadian, the Presidential Debate feels like overhearing your downstairs neighbours debating about whether or not to set the building on fire.

How do you keep Canadian bacon from curling in you frying pan?

Take away their little brooms.

In Canada, they use B.C.E. instead of B.C

It stands for Before Christ, Eh?

My Canadian friend eats a bowl of fries, cheese curds and brown gravy every single morning.

It's just his daily poutine.

Why do Canadian cowboys have sticky feet?

Maple Stirrups.

How was the Canadian able to put out a fire while vacationing in Mexico?

With the help of a hose eh.

Two Canadians in Kentucky

So these two Canadians are driving into Louisville, Kentucky and are arguing about how to pronounce the name of the city.

Its pronounced Lou-is-vill…obviously The oilman from Alberta says

No, you see, it is French! It is pronounced Loo-ie-vee! The guy from Quebec retorts.

They stop at a Burger King for lunch while they're in town. How do you pronounce the name of this place? Say it real slow, we're having an argument we want you to settle.

The kid at the counter takes a deep breath and says… burr-gerr-king

I don't believe Canada is real.

I think it's all maple leaf.

How Canada got its name...

They figured out the fairest way to name their country was to pull letters out of a hat. So they gathered around and a guy started pulling letters...

*pulls letter* "C, eh."

*pulls another* "N, eh."

*pulls another* "D, eh."

And that's how Canada got its name.

Canada is a logging nation.

Maple trees, spruce tress, and indigenous family trees.

A Canadian park ranger is giving some ramblers a warning about bears,

Brown bears are usually harmless. They avoid contact with humans so we suggest you attach small bells to your rucksacks and give the bears time to get out of your way. However, grizzly bears are extremely dangerous. If you see any grizzly-bear droppings leave the area immediately.

So how do we know if they're grizzly bear droppings? asks one of the ramblers.

It's easy, replies the ranger. They're full of small bells.

What's the most Canadian Battery?

Triple Eh!

What's a Canadian frogs favorite game to play?

Croak- Eh

Canada has no president

False or Trudeau

How did Canada get its name?

2 people were walking around, and one says, "Oh this is a good country, eh? What should we name it?" So the other one says, "I agree, what should we name it?" The first one says, "Let's pick letters out of a hat." So they put letters in a hat and start to pull them. "We picked a C eh, N eh, D eh"

Canada was originally supposed to be called Canad.

But whenever anyone spelled it, it came out as:
C
A
N
A
D
Eh.


If you don't get it, reading it out loud might help.

why do Canadians have sex dog style?

So they both watch the hockey game.

Canada was almost named "Cnd"...

But when the guy who decided it should be named "Cnd" publicly declared how to spell it, he said:

"C, eh?" "N, eh?" "D, eh?"

How do you get Canadian bacon to stop curling in the pan?

You take away the broom.

What does a Canadian say to his American "neighbours"?

It's a bit weird without U.

In Canada, they had to change Bugs Bunny's famous line....

From "Eh, what's up, Doc"? to "Whats up Doc, eh"?

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the canad canuck jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working canad guy piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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