Campus Jokes
35 campus jokes and hilarious campus puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about campus that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Campus jokes can make the perfect icebreaker during a campus tour. These jokes can range from machinist jokes to Harvard humor. Whether you’re a college tour guide or a student, these jokes are sure to get a laugh as you explore your university.
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Funniest Campus Short Jokes
Short campus jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The campus humour may include short dorm jokes also.
- Campus bookstore robbed The Campus bookstore was just robbed of $25000. The criminal was seen taking a sweatshirt and 4 textbooks
- My professor proposed we start a Pessimists Club on campus... I told him it would never get off the groud
- Where are the cleanest bathrooms on college campuses? The women's bathrooms in the engineering building.
- What does the campus twerk team and the IT department have in common? They both know how to back it up locally.
- Going up in a lift on campus l read on one wall ,'Look on the opposite wall for lift-tennis!' Curiosity compelled me to do that, and l read,'Look on the opposite wall for lift-tennis! '
- My local college has a scheme that lets student earn their tuition by working in the on campus bakery. The opportunity isn't open to everyone. It's run on a strictly knead to know basis.
- Everyone at my university is morbidly obese, it's making my brain hurt Specifically, I think it's the hippo campus.
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Campus One Liners
Which campus one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with campus? I can suggest the ones about university and college.
- What do you call a blonde on a college campus? A visitor
- I went to the wrong college campus this morning... It was Occidental.
- I decided to join the new Jewish fraternity on campus ... Zayda Ate a Bagel
- Where do animals in sub-Saharan Africa do their PhD research? The Hippo Campus.
- UCLA opened a new campus coffee shop It's called "Brewins"
- Why does Torque live on campus? Because cross products don't commute!
- A new social media site is sweeping over college campuses. Mysafespace.
- What do you call a school full of fat psychologists and neuroscientists? A hippo-campus!
Rib-Tickling Campus Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about campus you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean campground jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make campus pranks.
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one asked - Where did you get such a great bike?
The second one replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike".
She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want".
The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After a terrible night, two professors have to run through campus while n**......
As they run, the first guy covers his g**... and the second covers his face. The first guy asks the second, "Are you not ashamed of your indecency?"
The second guy responds, "Yeah... But, I don't know about you, but more people recognize me by my face than by my g**..."
How to stay in class
A college student walks into a bar and orders a beer. "What a day. Our calculus instructor has to be one of the most difficult professors on the campus," the student says. "If she wasn't so drop-dead gorgeous I would have dropped the class already." "So I guess you could says she's easy on the eyes," the bartender says. "But hard on the pupils?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I take the bus to school
So every morning I take the bus to campus. On the way, it stops by the local prison.
This morning, while we were stopped by the prison, I heard a loud c**.... I look to my right and I see what used to be a window, now shattered.
I'm looking at the window, and I see some rope fly out. Following the rope, I see an inmate. A rather small inmate. As a matter of fact, the man was a dwarf.
I stared at him in awe. As he made his way down the rope towards freedom, he notice me observing him. He gave me the stink eye. I thought to myself:
Wow, that's a little condescending.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A college student slowly walks into a bar and orders a beer. He starts talking to the bartender.
"What a day. Our physics professor has to be one of the most difficult professors on the campus." The student complains. "If she wasn't so drop dead gorgeous I would've dropped the class already." The bartender looks at him and says "So you could say she's easy on the eyes, but hard on the pupils?"
I took the girl from my maths class on a date
We met for a few drinks at the bar on campus. After a while I took a look around the room.
"Wow, you're the most average girl in here."
"What?! You're mean!" She screamed.
"No, you are."
A gender studies major gets mugged
A gender studies major is walking through Central Park on her way back to campus, when a mugger jumps her. He takes her wallet and purse, but lets her keep her cellphone.
She immediately calls the police. "Was it a man or a woman?" the cop asks once he got there.
"I don't know," she says. "I didn't get to ask."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I came to University thinking I'd get some of dat hot b**...
But the only time I got some was when my fingers went through that cheap campus toilet paper.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Stanford University releases nearly 200 cases of s**... a**...
A limited edition craft beer made on campus
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did Penn State move the Joe Paterno statue into the campus library?
To keep the children silent.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the University President in response to a request from the Coalition of c**... Clubs for a permit for an event?
"There is no room on this campus for the CCC or other White Powder groups!"
Two engineering nerds were walking across their college campus.
One of them had a bike:
Nerd 1: Where did you get that bike, man; it looks pretty well made.
Nerd 2: Yesterday I saw a beautiful woman riding this bike in the park, and I winked at her. She came over, threw the bike down, took off her clothes, and said to me 'take what you want'.
Nerd 1: Wow, that's great! Wise choice too! I'm proud of you, dude.
Nerd 2: Why? It was a simple choice.
Nerd 1: Well, I thought it might have been pretty tempting.
Nerd 2: Not at all; I bet the clothes wouldn't have even fit me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A college student calls the campus police...
"What's the problem, ma'am?" asks the responding officer.
The student is livid. "The guy who lives across from me is constantly m**...! All day, all night, every time I look, he has it out and he's beating it furiously!!"
"I understand," the officer replies, "Is he doing it now?"
"Yes! All the time, yes!"
"Show me."
The student takes the officer to her kitchen window and points to the dorm room across the way.
The officer scratches his head. "I don't see anyone."
"Hang on," says the student, "You have to stand on this chair."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
At a local college there was a dance. A guy from America asked a girl from Sweden to dance.
While they were dancing he gives her a little squeeze and says, In America we call this a hug.
She says, Yaah, in Sweden, we call it a hug too.
A little later, he gives her a p**... on the cheek and says, In America we call this a kiss.
She says, Yaah, in Sweden we call it a kiss too.
Later that evening after quite a few drinks, he takes her out on the campus lawn and proceeds to have s**... with her and says, In America we call this a grass sandwich.
She says, Yaaah, in Sweden we call it a grass sandwich too, but we usually put more meat in it.
I remembered this joke while studying for exams.
God and st peter decide to do their rounds around a college campus. While looking around the dorms, they see a group of students earnestly studying for their final exams the next day. God looks at St Peter and tells him to fail each one of them. St. Peter is a little bewildered, but he dares not doubt the judgement of God. Moments later, they pass by a dorm full of drunk students, partying before their final the next day. God takes a look at them and says "Make sure these students all get an A+ tomorrow". St Peter cannot sit quietly anymore and finally asks why.
"Why?!" God shouts at St Peter, "These students clearly have faith in me!"
