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Campus Jokes

35 campus jokes and hilarious campus puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about campus that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Campus jokes can make the perfect icebreaker during a campus tour. These jokes can range from machinist jokes to Harvard humor. Whether you’re a college tour guide or a student, these jokes are sure to get a laugh as you explore your university.

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Funniest Campus Short Jokes

Short campus jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The campus humour may include short dorm jokes also.

  1. Campus bookstore robbed The Campus bookstore was just robbed of $25000. The criminal was seen taking a sweatshirt and 4 textbooks
  2. My professor proposed we start a Pessimists Club on campus... I told him it would never get off the groud
  3. Where are the cleanest bathrooms on college campuses? The women's bathrooms in the engineering building.
  4. What does the campus twerk team and the IT department have in common? They both know how to back it up locally.
  5. Going up in a lift on campus l read on one wall ,'Look on the opposite wall for lift-tennis!' Curiosity compelled me to do that, and l read,'Look on the opposite wall for lift-tennis! '
  6. Where does a hippopotamus live if he wants to study brain surgery in college? A hippo-campus
  7. My local college has a scheme that lets student earn their tuition by working in the on campus bakery. The opportunity isn't open to everyone. It's run on a strictly knead to know basis.
  8. Why did Penn State move the Joe Paterno statue into the campus library? To keep the children silent.
  9. Everyone at my university is morbidly obese, it's making my brain hurt Specifically, I think it's the hippo campus.
  10. I came to University thinking I'd get some of dat hot b**... But the only time I got some was when my fingers went through that cheap campus toilet paper.

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Campus One Liners

Which campus one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with campus? I can suggest the ones about university and college.

  1. What do you call a blonde on a college campus? A visitor
  2. I went to the wrong college campus this morning... It was Occidental.
  3. I decided to join the new Jewish fraternity on campus ... Zayda Ate a Bagel
  4. Where do animals in sub-Saharan Africa do their PhD research? The Hippo Campus.
  5. UCLA opened a new campus coffee shop It's called "Brewins"
  6. Why does Torque live on campus? Because cross products don't commute!
  7. A new social media site is sweeping over college campuses. Mysafespace.
  8. What do you call a school full of fat psychologists and neuroscientists? A hippo-campus!

Campus joke, What do you call a school full of fat psychologists and neuroscientists?

Rib-Tickling Campus Jokes that Bring Friends Together

What funny jokes about campus you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean campground jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make campus pranks.

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one asked - Where did you get such a great bike?

The second one replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike".
She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want".
The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit".

Two engineer students were biking across campus.

One said to the other, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

Understanding Engineers

Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one
said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer
replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business,
when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground,
took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first
engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably
wouldn't have fit you anyway."

After a terrible night, two professors have to run through campus while n**......

As they run, the first guy covers his g**... and the second covers his face. The first guy asks the second, "Are you not ashamed of your indecency?"
The second guy responds, "Yeah... But, I don't know about you, but more people recognize me by my face than by my g**..."

How to stay in class

A college student walks into a bar and orders a beer. "What a day. Our calculus instructor has to be one of the most difficult professors on the campus," the student says. "If she wasn't so drop-dead gorgeous I would have dropped the class already." "So I guess you could says she's easy on the eyes," the bartender says. "But hard on the pupils?"

I take the bus to school

So every morning I take the bus to campus. On the way, it stops by the local prison.

This morning, while we were stopped by the prison, I heard a loud c**.... I look to my right and I see what used to be a window, now shattered.
I'm looking at the window, and I see some rope fly out. Following the rope, I see an inmate. A rather small inmate. As a matter of fact, the man was a dwarf.
I stared at him in awe. As he made his way down the rope towards freedom, he notice me observing him. He gave me the stink eye. I thought to myself:
Wow, that's a little condescending.

A computer science student at MIT showed up at his buddies dorm room with a new bike.

His buddy said sweet bike, where'd ya get it?
You'll never believe this, he said, I was walking across campus and this beautiful blonde on a bike stopped, threw down her bike, tore off all her clothes and said _take whatever you want!_
His buddy stared at him blankly for a minute, then said smart. Her clothes would have never fit you.

A college student slowly walks into a bar and orders a beer. He starts talking to the bartender.

"What a day. Our physics professor has to be one of the most difficult professors on the campus." The student complains. "If she wasn't so drop dead gorgeous I would've dropped the class already." The bartender looks at him and says "So you could say she's easy on the eyes, but hard on the pupils?"

I took the girl from my maths class on a date

We met for a few drinks at the bar on campus. After a while I took a look around the room.
"Wow, you're the most average girl in here."
"What?! You're mean!" She screamed.
"No, you are."

A nerd is riding a bike on the college campus when he comes across his friend.

The friend asks, "Where did you get that awesome bike?"
"You won't believe what happened," the nerd says. "I was walking on a trail yesterday, minding my own business, when this really beautiful woman rode up to me. She threw the bike on the ground, took off all her clothes, and said '*take what you want.*'"
"Good choice," says the friend as he nods approvingly. "The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."

A guy from out of state was roaming around the Harvard campus, a bit lost, when he came upon a distinguished looking gentleman reading on a park bench, possibly a professor. The guy asked him politely - "Hey, where's the library at?". The man looked up with a frown, and responded "This is Harvard,

good sir, we don't end our sentences with a preposition".
To which the guy replied - "My apologies. Where the library at, a**...?"

A gender studies major gets mugged

A gender studies major is walking through Central Park on her way back to campus, when a mugger jumps her. He takes her wallet and purse, but lets her keep her cellphone.
She immediately calls the police. "Was it a man or a woman?" the cop asks once he got there.
"I don't know," she says. "I didn't get to ask."

On the first day of school, the college dean addressed the freshman class to explain some of the campus rules.

"The women's dormitory
is off-limits to male students and the men's
dormitory is off-limits to female students," he
intoned. "Am body caught breaking this rule
will be fined $20 the first time, $60 the second
lime and $180 the third time. Does anyone
have any questions?
A male student raised his hand. "How much
for a season pass?"

Two engineering students meet on campus one day

The first engineer calls out to the other, "Hey nice bike! Where did you get it?" "Well," replies the other, "I was walking to class the other day when this pretty, young coed rides up on this bike. She jumps off, takes off all of her clothes, and says 'You can have anything you want!'" "Good choice," says the first, "her clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway."

Stanford University releases nearly 200 cases of s**... a**...

A limited edition craft beer made on campus

Campus joke, Where do animals in sub-Saharan Africa do their PhD research?