The Best 30 Campus Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Campus jokes. There are some campus freshmen jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these campus scholarship puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Campus Jokes and Puns
My local college has a scheme that lets student earn their tuition by working in the on campus bakery.
The opportunity isn't open to everyone. It's run on a strictly knead to know basis.
What do you call a blonde on a college campus?
A visitor
My professor proposed we start a Pessimists Club on campus...
I told him it would never get off the groud
I decided to join the new Jewish fraternity on campus ...
Zayda Ate a Bagel
Campus bookstore robbed
The Campus bookstore was just robbed of $25000. The criminal was seen taking a sweatshirt and 4 textbooks
Why does Torque live on campus?
Because cross products don't commute!
What does the campus twerk team and the IT department have in common?
They both know how to back it up locally.
A gender studies major gets mugged
A gender studies major is walking through Central Park on her way back to campus, when a mugger jumps her. He takes her wallet and purse, but lets her keep her cellphone.
She immediately calls the police. "Was it a man or a woman?" the cop asks once he got there.
"I don't know," she says. "I didn't get to ask."
Understanding Engineers
Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one
said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer
replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business,
when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground,
took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first
engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably
wouldn't have fit you anyway."
UCLA opened a new campus coffee shop
It's called "Brewins"
I take the bus to school
So every morning I take the bus to campus. On the way, it stops by the local prison.
This morning, while we were stopped by the prison, I heard a loud crash. I look to my right and I see what used to be a window, now shattered.
I'm looking at the window, and I see some rope fly out. Following the rope, I see an inmate. A rather small inmate. As a matter of fact, the man was a dwarf.
I stared at him in awe. As he made his way down the rope towards freedom, he notice me observing him. He gave me the stink eye. I thought to myself:
Wow, that's a little condescending.
You can explore campus university reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean campus graduate dad jokes. There are also campus puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I took the girl from my maths class on a date
We met for a few drinks at the bar on campus. After a while I took a look around the room.
"Wow, you're the most average girl in here."
"What?! You're mean!" She screamed.
"No, you are."
Going up in a lift
on campus l read on one wall ,'Look on the opposite wall for lift-tennis!' Curiosity compelled me to do that, and l read,'Look on the opposite wall for lift-tennis! '
After a terrible night, two professors have to run through campus while naked...
As they run, the first guy covers his genitals and the second covers his face. The first guy asks the second, "Are you not ashamed of your indecency?"
The second guy responds, "Yeah... But, I don't know about you, but more people recognize me by my face than by my genitals"
What did the University President in response to a request from the Coalition of Cocaine Clubs for a permit for an event?
"There is no room on this campus for the CCC or other White Powder groups!"
I came to University thinking I'd get some of dat hot booty
But the only time I got some was when my fingers went through that cheap campus toilet paper.
Where do animals in sub-Saharan Africa do their PhD research?
The Hippo Campus.
Why did Penn State move the Joe Paterno statue into the campus library?
To keep the children silent.
Stanford University releases nearly 200 cases of sex abuse
A limited edition craft beer made on campus
Two engineering students meet on campus one day
The first engineer calls out to the other, "Hey nice bike! Where did you get it?" "Well," replies the other, "I was walking to class the other day when this pretty, young coed rides up on this bike. She jumps off, takes off all of her clothes, and says 'You can have anything you want!'" "Good choice," says the first, "her clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway."
I went to the wrong college campus this morning...
It was Occidental.
Two engineer students were biking across campus.
One said to the other, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
Everyone at my university is morbidly obese, it's making my brain hurt
Specifically, I think it's the hippo campus.
On the first day of school, the college dean addressed the freshman class to explain some of the campus rules.
"The women's dormitory
is off-limits to male students and the men's
dormitory is off-limits to female students," he
intoned. "Am body caught breaking this rule
will be fined $20 the first time, $60 the second
lime and $180 the third time. Does anyone
have any questions?
A male student raised his hand. "How much
for a season pass?"
A nerd is riding a bike on the college campus when he comes across his friend.
The friend asks, "Where did you get that awesome bike?"
"You won't believe what happened," the nerd says. "I was walking on a trail yesterday, minding my own business, when this really beautiful woman rode up to me. She threw the bike on the ground, took off all her clothes, and said '*take what you want.*'"
"Good choice," says the friend as he nods approvingly. "The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
A Computer Science student at MIT showed up at his buddies dorm room with a new bike.
His buddy said sweet bike, where'd ya get it?
You'll never believe this, he said, I was walking across campus and this beautiful blonde on a bike stopped, threw down her bike, tore off all her clothes and said _take whatever you want!_
His buddy stared at him blankly for a minute, then said smart. Her clothes would have never fit you.
How to stay in class
A college student walks into a bar and orders a beer. "What a day. Our calculus instructor has to be one of the most difficult professors on the campus," the student says. "If she wasn't so drop-dead gorgeous I would have dropped the class already." "So I guess you could says she's easy on the eyes," the bartender says. "But hard on the pupils?"
A college student slowly walks into a bar and orders a beer. He starts talking to the bartender.
"What a day. Our physics professor has to be one of the most difficult professors on the campus." The student complains. "If she wasn't so drop dead gorgeous I would've dropped the class already." The bartender looks at him and says "So you could say she's easy on the eyes, but hard on the pupils?"
A guy from out of state was roaming around the Harvard campus, a bit lost, when he came upon a distinguished looking gentleman reading on a park bench, possibly a professor. The guy asked him politely - "Hey, where's the library at?". The man looked up with a frown, and responded "This is Harvard,
good sir, we don't end our sentences with a preposition".
To which the guy replied - "My apologies. Where the library at, asshole?"
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one asked - Where did you get such a great bike?
The second one replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike".
She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want".
The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit".
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the campus coed jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working campus academic piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.