Following is our collection of funniest Campaign jokes. There are some campaign overcomb jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these campaign advert puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Beto luck next time
I thought his campaign wasn't for late term abortions.
Old man Moskowitz was getting along in years. He decided to retire and let his 3 sons run the company (which manufactured a wide variety of nails). The sons thought they could increase market-share with some judicious billboard advertising.
Only a week later the old man was taking his usual Sunday drive in the country when he saw the first billboard ad. There it was - a picture of Christ on the Cross, with the caption: "Nails for Every Purpose. Use Moskowitz Nails."
The old man immediately met with his 3 sons to voice his concern. He explained that the backlash could be horrendous. The company could be ruined. The sons agreed to discontinue that ad.
A week later the old man was again taking his usual Sunday drive when he saw the second billboard ad. There it was - - a picture of the same cross, empty, with Christ crumpled on the ground below... and the caption: "Next Time Use Moskowitz Nails."
gay rights
So it's 2004 and the War in Iraq is raging on.
President Bush calls Sec. Rumsfeld into the Oval Office to discuss the campaign.
Rumsfeld begins by saying, "Sir, there have been no American deaths today. But we do have word that 3 Brazillian soldiers were killed."
Much Rumsfeld's surprise, President Bush begins crying and banging his hands on the desk in the office.
Rumsfeld says, "Sir, what's wrong?"
Bush replies under his heavy sobs, "Exactly how many is a Brazillian?"
Five. One to say they'll do it a second to try to change the law so you have to do it, a third to go on an expensive campaign to find out why it doesn't get done and two more to vote against it so it never happens.
One day George W. Bush was walking through Washington when he spotted a boy selling week old "Republican Puppies", delighted he resolved to come back with reporters in a few weeks for his campaign. When he came back the boy was now selling "Democratic Puppies". Disgruntled he asked why and the boy said,
"They used to be Republican Puppies, but now they've opened their eyes."
Why did the school principal forbid the use of true/false tests? It was part of the school's anti Boolean campaign.
Just one really, but be prepared to spend about $8 million USD in "Campaign Donations" if you ever want one to care about somebody else's problem
The Lake Champlain Champagne Campaign
...I beat it daily.
You can explore campaign fundraiser reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean campaign ads dad jokes. There are also campaign puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
"A Clear Vision for America"
Its ad campaign will carry the slogan "It helps Jew concentrate"
My wife has wasted years campaigning for tampon companies to make sanitary products suitable for the 'larger' lady.
I'm trying to convince her that it's time to just throw in the towel.
Third time's the charm
Once you go black, you never go back.
Carson 2016
Iran, Iraq, I lost
Don't worry ladies, I also donated $7.80 to Hilary.
No one knows if it was done by a supporter or a protester
One who can read, one who can write, and one to keep an eye on the other two "elitist intellectuals."
What they reveal is interesting, but what they conceal is vital - and they both usually have a c**t in their center.
To lay off his campaign staff.
Terminating it is unchristian afterall
..but I say he should be forced to carry it to full term
Donald Trump's presidential campaign was considered a joke
So, all the natural disasters took a vote to see which one was the worst.
* Hurricane blew the others away.
* Earthquake shook things up pretty badly.
* Flooding was a bit of a wash.
* Blizzard almost buried the rest.
* Sinkhole's campaign totally collapsed.
* Meteor made a deep impact.
But in the end, Avalanche won by a landslide.
After a few incidents.
Apparently, the last time she endorsed a Clinton, it left a bad taste in her mouth.
*"Auschwitz the old, in with the Jews!"*
It was briefly successful
but then I realized it was racist, too long, and didn't make any sense.
'Feel the Johnson' just rubs me the wrong way.
Seeing Trump's campaign, now I believe it.
could be a slogan for an anti abortion campaign.
She needed them to get in quick and destroy all the evidence.
"Feel the Johnson"
Hillary Clinton's campaign.
She was let down by a weak Constitution.
1. Be endorsed by Dave.
2. Bring out a resurrected Harambe on stage.
He stops at a small-town midwest diner for breakfast. After taking a seat he is greeted by a pretty young waitress.
"Mr president, what an honor it is to be serving you. So what will you be having this morning?"
Dubya looks up from his menu, smiles, and says "How about a quickie?"
The waitress is appalled. "Mr president! I voted for you because I thought you stood for morals! And family values! I guess you're no better than Clinton."
After she storms off, one of the president's advisors leans over and says "Hey, uh, George, it's pronounced *keesh*."
**There is no escape.**
'We need to build a wah'
She 'accidently' deleted the email with her consession speech.
Hillary was singing the blues.
A campaign promise.
Hindsight is 2020
and her campaign really blue over.
...but he sure is making Saturday Night Live great again.
All I hear for two weeks is "No well, no well, no well"
The Australians are interrogating a captured Turkish soldier, when finally poor Mehmet has a question for them.
"Why do you call God such awful names? Why do you curse Him when your soldiers go into battle?"
The Aussies were surprised. "What do you mean?"
"Well, when we Turks leap out of our trenches and charge your lines, we cry 'Allah! Allah!' But when you charge us, you shout 'Bloody BASTAAARRRDD!!!'"
I want to ensure they are all payed a fair wage.
Gotta catch them all...
SPEED KILLS
finish that one for me, will ya
I've secretly been running a smear campaign on all the toilets at work.
But I don't smoke any less, either.
Wall-E
Only Trump would pay $500k for $0.50
Such a deal maker.
He's just getting a jump on his Presidential Campaign.
Newton '20
it's probably for the best. He's a better fit with the Nashville Predators
Earlier last year my friend had been in a coma for years. The doctors tried everything and told us to pray for a miracle.
And then one day his nurse came and switched the TV to Trump's campaign, he woke up and turned it off.
The Nicoteens.
camping... it's in-tents.
Although I'm not entirely sure rotating people through the cabinet counts as creating jobs but the effort is certainly present.
My campaign for legalising weed is going well, I've placed posters everywhere, I call it _Propaganja_.
It was all just a schmear campaign.
They say his smear campaign ruined a number of decent characters.
"Missouri loves company."
Make America Grate Again
Got Ham?
They have got a lot of bad publicity lately so they just released a new campaign. They are offering scholarships for 100 lucky boys that can attend private school to become a priest for free.
Their slogan: "Find the priest inside of you."
I can honestly say this is the first time Ive ever seen a razor blade company cut their own wrists.
You know, sex cells.
Roger Stone was arrested for his communications with the Trump campaign regarding Wikileaks and Hillary Clinton's emails.
He should have hired her to work on his campaign.
β¦given her a job on his campaign teamβ¦
Mitch McConnell was walking down the hallway in the same direction but, being half-tortoise, was moving far slower.
Trump pushes past him, shouting, "Get outta my way!"
McConnell says, "Pardon me, Mr. President."
Trump stops and turns around. "I didn't know you worked on my campaign. What did they get you for?"
Trump said in his campaign that if I voted for Clinton, I would be stuck with a president under constant federal investigation from day one.
Turned out, he was right. I voted for Clinton and I have been stuck for years with a president under federal investigation from day one.
But that was when his friend said: "Hey! Don't get a head of yourself!"
They hired Michael Stipes from R.E.M. to remind people everybody Hertz
A disaffected and angry citizen, fed up of standing in lines for vodka, decided to go assassinate Gorbachev. He soon came back and ruefully reported that the lines to assassinate Gorbachev were even longer than the lines for vodka.
Just a few more cases and Mexico will pay for that wall
Change we can believe in! The change we need!
He launched a letter-writing campaign to support Borders Without Doctors.
I think Vanilla Ice should run for president at some point as well. He'd have a solid campaign slogan "If there was a problem, I'll solve it" and he'd make everyone collaborate and listen.
I just read the sign and complied...
it said:
NO campaign materials or **clothing** allowed in polling place.
How else would you describe his campaign other than a 'natural disaster'?
Because he ran his presidency into the ground
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the campaign trump jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working campaign supporter piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.