Cheerful Fun Campaign Jokes for Lovely Laughter
During this difficult morning for Congressman O'Rourke and everyone involved with his campaign, I wanted to give some words of encouragement
Beto luck next time
So Rick Perry drops his presidential bid Today..
I thought his campaign wasn't for late term abortions.
Jewish ad campaign
Old man Moskowitz was getting along in years. He decided to retire and let his 3 sons run the company (which manufactured a wide variety of nails). The sons thought they could increase market-share with some judicious billboard advertising.
Only a week later the old man was taking his usual Sunday drive in the country when he saw the first billboard ad. There it was - a picture of Christ on the Cross, with the caption: "Nails for Every Purpose. Use Moskowitz Nails."
The old man immediately met with his 3 sons to voice his concern. He explained that the backlash could be horrendous. The company could be ruined. The sons agreed to discontinue that ad.
A week later the old man was again taking his usual Sunday drive when he saw the second billboard ad. There it was - - a picture of the same cross, empty, with Christ crumpled on the ground below... and the caption: "Next Time Use Moskowitz Nails."
what's a political campaign we can all get behind?
gay rights
Brazillian
So it's 2004 and the War in Iraq is r**... on.
President Bush calls Sec. Rumsfeld into the Oval Office to discuss the campaign.
Rumsfeld begins by saying, "Sir, there have been no American deaths today. But we do have word that 3 Brazillian soldiers were killed."
Much Rumsfeld's surprise, President Bush begins crying and b**... his hands on the desk in the office.
Rumsfeld says, "Sir, what's wrong?"
Bush replies under his heavy sobs, "Exactly how many is a Brazillian?"
How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb
Five. One to say they'll do it a second to try to change the law so you have to do it, a third to go on an expensive campaign to find out why it doesn't get done and two more to vote against it so it never happens.
This is a very old joke that I'm sure most people have heard.
One day George W. Bush was walking through Washington when he spotted a boy selling week old "Republican Puppies", delighted he resolved to come back with reporters in a few weeks for his campaign. When he came back the boy was now selling "Democratic Puppies". Disgruntled he asked why and the boy said,
"They used to be Republican Puppies, but now they've opened their eyes."
True false tests
Why did the school principal forbid the use of true/false tests? It was part of the school's anti Boolean campaign.
How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one really, but be prepared to spend about $8 million USD in "Campaign Donations" if you ever want one to care about somebody else's problem
What do you call a wine convention in upstate New York?
The Lake Champlain Champagne Campaign
My favorite game is Call of b**... Solo Campaign...
...I beat it daily.
You can explore campaign fundraiser reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean campaign ads dad jokes. There are also campaign puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
2020 Presidential Campaign Slogan
"A Clear Vision for America"
German scientists have discovered a new drug, derived from the bacteria *Adolfus hitlerii*, which will be applied to people with ADD.
Its ad campaign will carry the slogan "It helps Jew concentrate"
Wife's Campaign
My wife has wasted years campaigning for t**... companies to make sanitary products suitable for the 'larger' lady.
I'm trying to convince her that it's time to just throw in the towel.
What is Jeb Bush's campaign slogan?
Third time's the charm
I donated $10 to Bernie's campaign
Don't worry ladies, I also donated $7.80 to Hilary.
A Donald Trump campaign sign was found defaced with a s**...
No one knows if it was done by a supporter or a protester
Why does the Trump campaign hire people in groups of three?
One who can read, one who can write, and one to keep an eye on the other two "elitist intellectuals."
Why did Cruz pick Carly Fiorina as his running mate?
To lay off his campaign staff.
Ted Cruz should have been forced to carry his Campaign to term...
Terminating it is unchristian afterall
Ted Cruz has aborted his campaign
..but I say he should be forced to carry it to full term
A new punchline for 'The last time X happened' jokes...
Donald Trump's presidential campaign was considered a joke
The Worst Natural Disaster
So, all the natural disasters took a vote to see which one was the worst.
* Hurricane blew the others away.
* Earthquake shook things up pretty badly.
* Flooding was a bit of a wash.
* Blizzard almost buried the rest.
* Sinkhole's campaign totally collapsed.
* Meteor made a deep impact.
But in the end, Avalanche won by a landslide.
The Trump campaign is advising supporters over 45 who want to shake the candidate's hand to bring along their reading glasses.
After a few incidents.
CNN has just reported that Monika Lewinski will be helping with the Donald Trump for president campaign.
Apparently, the last time she endorsed a Clinton, it left a bad taste in her mouth.
What was Adolf h**...'s campaign slogan?
*"Auschwitz the old, in with the Jews!"*
Did you hear about the popular underwear campaign?
It was briefly successful
I was going to tell a joke about Donald Trump's presidential campaign..
but then I realized it was racist, too long, and didn't make any sense.
When I was younger, I was told that anyone could become President.
Seeing Trump's campaign, now I believe it.
"Don't let your inner child die!"
could be a slogan for an anti abortion campaign.
The FBI raided Hillary Clinton's campaign headquarters
She needed them to get in quick and destroy all the evidence.
Libertarian Presidential Candidate's new Campaign, inspired by Bernie Sanders.
"Feel the Johnson"
What Saudi funded event ended in a massive collapse on 9/11?
Hillary Clinton's campaign.
Why couldn't Hillary Clinton keep up her US presidential campaign?
She was let down by a weak Constitution.
Trump's last two chances to save his election campaign at the second debate:
1. Be endorsed by Dave.
2. Bring out a resurrected Harambe on stage.
It's 2004 and George W Bush is on the campaign trail...
He stops at a small-town midwest diner for breakfast. After taking a seat he is greeted by a pretty young waitress.
"Mr president, what an honor it is to be serving you. So what will you be having this morning?"
Dubya looks up from his menu, smiles, and says "How about a q**...?"
The waitress is appalled. "Mr president! I voted for you because I thought you stood for morals! And family values! I guess you're no better than Clinton."
After she storms off, one of the president's advisors leans over and says "Hey, uh, George, it's pronounced *keesh*."
The American Presidential Campaign is a lot like the new Mac.
**There is no escape.**
Wario has just revealed his campaign slogan
'We need to build a wah'
Why did Hillary Clinton had her campaign chairman John Podesta send the crowd home from the Clinton HQ?
She 'accidently' deleted the email with her consession speech.
Deez nuts should've invested a bit more on his campaign
He actually would've won...
What do you call a promise you can't keep?
A campaign promise.
What should Bernie Sanders' next presidential campaign be called?
Hindsight is 2020
Hillary was running as Democrat
and her campaign really blue over.
Trump may not fulfill all of his campaign promises...
...but he sure is making Saturday Night Live great again.
People seem to have a kind of anti-water campaign that only comes around at Christmas
All I hear for two weeks is "No well, no well, no well"
From the Gallipoli campaign in World War I...
The Australians are interrogating a captured Turkish soldier, when finally poor Mehmet has a question for them.
"Why do you call God such awful names? Why do you curse Him when your soldiers go into battle?"
The Aussies were surprised. "What do you mean?"
"Well, when we Turks leap out of our trenches and charge your lines, we cry 'Allah! Allah!' But when you charge us, you shout 'Bloody BASTAAARRRDD!!!'"
I am campaigning to end child s**... slavery!!!
I want to ensure they are all payed a fair wage.
What was Hitlers campaign slogan?
Gotta catch them all...
My local police department is running a dual campaign against dangerous driving and taking drugs. The signs read:
SPEED KILLS
The President's son, son-in-law, campaign manager, and a Russian lawyer walk into a bar…
finish that one for me, will ya
I Know It's Bad Politics but...
I've secretly been running a smear campaign on all the toilets at work.
After seeing the Anti-Smoking campaign, I don't smoke anymore.
But I don't smoke any less, either.
If Trump continues his anti climate change campaign and the provocation towards North Korea the only wall we will be building will be...
Wall-E
50Cent says Trump offered him $500,000 to join presidential campaign
Only Trump would pay $500k for $0.50
Such a deal maker.
The NHL's Florida Panthers have apologized to their fans for using Kevin Spacey in a marketing campaign
it's probably for the best. He's a better fit with the Nashville Predators
Please stop hating on Trump, he saved my friend's life!
Earlier last year my friend had been in a coma for years. The doctors tried everything and told us to pray for a miracle.
And then one day his nurse came and switched the TV to Trump's campaign, he woke up and turned it off.
As part of the NHS anti smoking campaign ,they've brought together an all children task force...
The Nicoteens.
It's refreshing to see a President keeping his campaign promises.
Although I'm not entirely sure rotating people through the cabinet counts as creating jobs but the effort is certainly present.
Legalising w**...
My campaign for legalising w**... is going well, I've placed posters everywhere, I call it _Propaganja_.
A deli's competitor falsely accused them of using expired cream cheese on their bagels.
It was all just a schmear campaign.
A left handed man was arrested the other day...
They say his smear campaign ruined a number of decent characters.
Have you heard about Missouri's new tourist campaign?
"Missouri loves company."
The campaign to re-irritate our international allies is called:
Make America Grate Again
Batman is the new spokesperson for the pork ad campaign
Got Ham?
The Catholic church wants more people interested in priesthood.
They have got a lot of bad publicity lately so they just released a new campaign. They are offering scholarships for 100 lucky boys that can attend private school to become a priest for free.
Their slogan: "Find the priest inside of you."
So Gillette just came out with a new Ad campaign calling out men for toxic masculinity.
I can honestly say this is the first time Ive ever seen a razor blade company cut their own wrists.
I've started using gametes in my advertising campaign.
You know, s**... cells.
Hillary's emails finally lead to an arrest.
Roger Stone was arrested for his communications with the Trump campaign regarding Wikileaks and Hillary Clinton's emails.
If Trump really wanted Hillary to be locked up
He should have hired her to work on his campaign.
If Donald Trump had really wanted Hillary Clinton locked up, he should have just…
…given her a job on his campaign team…
The president is walking down a narrow hallway
Mitch McConnell was walking down the hallway in the same direction but, being half-tortoise, was moving far slower.
Trump pushes past him, shouting, "Get outta my way!"
McConnell says, "Pardon me, Mr. President."
Trump stops and turns around. "I didn't know you worked on my campaign. What did they get you for?"
Trump said in his campaign that if I voted for Clinton...
Trump said in his campaign that if I voted for Clinton, I would be stuck with a president under constant federal investigation from day one.
Turned out, he was right. I voted for Clinton and I have been stuck for years with a president under federal investigation from day one.
One day, Julius Caesar was in the marketplace with a friend, looking for a celebratory item after coming back from a successful campaign. He was looking towards a bust of his face, carved in marble.
But that was when his friend said: "Hey! Don't get a head of yourself!"
Hertz car rentals announced a last minute marketing campaign today to avoid bankruptcy
They hired Michael Stipes from R.E.M. to remind people everybody Hertz
Mikhail Gorbachev started an anti-alcohol campaign in USSR in 1980s. People went crazy because of the restrictions on selling of alcohol. An old Soviet joke went like this:
A disaffected and angry citizen, fed up of standing in lines for v**..., decided to go assassinate Gorbachev. He soon came back and ruefully reported that the lines to assassinate Gorbachev were even longer than the lines for v**....
It's difficult, but Trump is still focused on keeping campaign promises during this pandemic.
Just a few more cases and Mexico will pay for that wall
Curtis Jackson, aka 50 cent, considering to run for office. His first campaign slogans released.
Change we can believe in! The change we need!
Ted Kaczynski was a philanthropist.
He launched a letter-writing campaign to support Borders Without Doctors.
If Kanye West is running ...
I think Vanilla Ice should run for president at some point as well. He'd have a solid campaign slogan "If there was a problem, I'll solve it" and he'd make everyone collaborate and listen.
no Idea why they arrested me...
I just read the sign and complied...
it said:
NO campaign materials or **clothing** allowed in polling place.
Donald Trump claims he won the election by a landslide
How else would you describe his campaign other than a 'natural disaster'?
Why did the Trump Campaign book Four Seasons Landscaping?
Because he ran his presidency into the ground
A Lady was conducting her Anti-Drinking campaign outside a bar......
A man came out of the Bar exuding alcohol fumes.
The Lady asked him :"Tell me. If you arrive at the Gates of Heaven with your breath smelling of liquor, do you think the Lord will let you in?"
"My good woman" passionately holding her hand, said the man, "When I go to Heaven I expect to leave my breath behind."
A Lady was conducting her anti drinking campaign outside a bar.....
A heavily drunk man came out of the Bar exuding alcohol fumes. The Lady stopped him and said - "Tell me!!! If you arrive at the Gates of Heaven with your breath smelling of liquor... Do you think the Lord will let you in ???"
"My good woman" passionately holding her hand, said the man, "When I go to Heaven I expect to leave my breath behind."
In 2024 Al Gore decided to run for president again.
His campaign hinged on a song he made to promote the dangers of global warming. It was so popular it became a meme.
After a while, everyone was talking about Al Gore, and, sure enough he became President.
When asked on the News, "How do you think he won," two fallen YouTubers stated, "You can't beat the Al Gore Rhythm."
I once ran for class president against a boy with terminal cancer
I know I lost to the simpathy vote, although in retrospective I did run a very negative campaign
"Vote for me, I won't abandon you in 2 months"
What do you call a failed political campaign?
An **elect**ile dysfunction.
A lot of people are talking about how unhealthy bagels are for you, and how there are so many better breakfast options.
It's a real schmear campaign.
Crassus was defeated during the campaign for Parthia
Crassus averted.
Did you hear that Adelle started a campaign to raise awareness for sea life by reading Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone while scuba diving 60 ft under the water.
They called it "Rowling in the Deep"
Why did the skid mark lose the election?
It ran a smear campaign
Credit - Amazon Alexa (seriously, I asked my Alexa to tell me a p**... joke and this is what she said)
