Campaign Jokes
125 campaign jokes and hilarious campaign puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about campaign that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Get ready to laugh with the funniest campaign jokes around! Whether you're running for school nomination or working on a campaign manager team, you'll find something to tickle your funny bone here. We've got campaign speech jokes, MW2 campaign jokes, and Hillaryous fundraiser jokes. Check it out now and lighten up your day!
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Funniest Campaign Short Jokes
Short campaign jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The campaign humour may include short lobby jokes also.
- Why do January 6 deniers never last very long in Dungeons & dragon campaigns? They always fail their Constitution checks.
- It's refreshing to see a President keeping his campaign promises. Although I'm not entirely sure rotating people through the cabinet counts as creating jobs but the effort is certainly present.
- Donald Trump claims he won the election by a landslide How else would you describe his campaign other than a 'natural disaster'?
- 50Cent says Trump offered him $500,000 to join presidential campaign Only Trump would pay $500k for $0.50
Such a deal maker. - If some part of your job feels utterly pointless, remember Putin campaigned for the 2018 elections.
- After seeing the Anti-Smoking campaign, I don't smoke anymore. But I don't smoke any less, either.
- What do you call a wine convention in upstate New York? The Lake Champlain Champagne Campaign
- When I was younger, I was told that anyone could become President. Seeing Trump's campaign, now I believe it.
- Trump may not fulfill all of his campaign promises... ...but he sure is making Saturday Night Live great again.
- If Trump continues his anti climate change campaign and the provocation towards North Korea the only wall we will be building will be... Wall-E
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Campaign One Liners
Which campaign one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with campaign? I can suggest the ones about advertisement and party.
- I donated $10 to Bernie's campaign Don't worry ladies, I also donated $7.80 to Hilary.
- Why did Cruz pick Carly Fiorina as his running mate? To lay off his campaign staff.
- What should Bernie Sanders' next presidential campaign be called? Hindsight is 2020
- What was Hitlers campaign slogan? Gotta catch them all...
- what's a political campaign we can all get behind? gay rights
- What Saudi funded event ended in a massive collapse on 9/11? Hillary Clinton's campaign.
- "Don't let your inner child die!" could be a slogan for an anti abortion campaign.
- Crassus was defeated during the campaign for Parthia Crassus averted.
- What do you call a promise you can't keep? A campaign promise.
- Wario has just revealed his campaign slogan 'We need to build a wah'
- Did you hear about the popular underwear campaign? It was briefly successful
- 2020 Presidential Campaign Slogan "A Clear Vision for America"
- Batman is the new spokesperson for the pork ad campaign Got Ham?
- Hillary was running as Democrat and her campaign really blue over.
- What is Jeb Bush's campaign slogan? Third time's the charm
Campaign Speech Jokes
Here is a list of funny campaign speech jokes and even better campaign speech puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did Hillary Clinton had her campaign chairman John Podesta send the crowd home from the Clinton HQ? She 'accidently' deleted the email with her consession speech.
Campaign Manager Jokes
Here is a list of funny campaign manager jokes and even better campaign manager puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The President's son, son-in-law, campaign manager, and a Russian lawyer walk into a bar… finish that one for me, will ya
Cheerful Fun Campaign Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about campaign you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean conference jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make campaign pranks.
During this difficult morning for Congressman O'Rourke and everyone involved with his campaign, I wanted to give some words of encouragement
Beto luck next time
So rick perry drops his presidential bid Today..
I thought his campaign wasn't for late term abortions.
Jewish ad campaign
Old man Moskowitz was getting along in years. He decided to retire and let his 3 sons run the company (which manufactured a wide variety of nails). The sons thought they could increase market-share with some judicious billboard advertising.
Only a week later the old man was taking his usual Sunday drive in the country when he saw the first billboard ad. There it was - a picture of Christ on the Cross, with the caption: "Nails for Every Purpose. Use Moskowitz Nails."
The old man immediately met with his 3 sons to voice his concern. He explained that the backlash could be horrendous. The company could be ruined. The sons agreed to discontinue that ad.
A week later the old man was again taking his usual Sunday drive when he saw the second billboard ad. There it was - - a picture of the same cross, empty, with Christ crumpled on the ground below... and the caption: "Next Time Use Moskowitz Nails."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Obama's slogan for his 2nd term campaign announced:
Once you go black, you never go back
Speaking in German in Texas
In Texas, there is a town named New Braunfels, where there is a large
German-speaking population.
One day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his
hand to drink water from the rancher's stock pond.
The rancher rolled down the window and shouted: "Sehr angenehm! Trink das Wasser
nicht. Die kuehe haben darein geschissen." (Translated: "Glad to meet you!
Don't drink the water. The cows have crapped in it.")
The man shouted back: "I'm from New York and just down here campaigning for
Obama's health care plan. I can't understand you. Please speak in English."
The rancher replied: "Use both hands."
This is a very old joke that I'm sure most people have heard.
One day George W. Bush was walking through Washington when he spotted a boy selling week old "Republican Puppies", delighted he resolved to come back with reporters in a few weeks for his campaign. When he came back the boy was now selling "Democratic Puppies". Disgruntled he asked why and the boy said,
"They used to be Republican Puppies, but now they've opened their eyes."
True false tests
Why did the school principal forbid the use of true/false tests? It was part of the school's anti Boolean campaign.
Did you hear about the war on diarrhea?
It started out as a smear campaign, but ended up being a real shitshow.
How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one really, but be prepared to spend about $8 million USD in "Campaign Donations" if you ever want one to care about somebody else's problem
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My favorite game is Call of b**... Solo Campaign...
...I beat it daily.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
German scientists have discovered a new drug, derived from the bacteria *Adolfus hitlerii*, which will be applied to people with ADD.
Its ad campaign will carry the slogan "It helps Jew concentrate"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wife's Campaign
My wife has wasted years campaigning for t**... companies to make sanitary products suitable for the 'larger' lady.
I'm trying to convince her that it's time to just throw in the towel.
What is the main position candidate Jim Webb is campaigning on?
Debate time reform.
With his campaign struggling, Ben Carson seeks to appeal more to a mainstream and humanize himself with a new campaign slogan...
Once you go black, you never go back.
Carson 2016
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... therapists have invented a new long lasting, alcohol based, v**... gel and lubricant.
Campaigners have slammed the move saying it could lead to 24 hour m**... drinking.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A racist man laments...
If people gave him $1 for every racist thing he said or done he'd be able to make a small contribution of 1 million dollars to Donald Trump's campaign.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Donald Trump campaign sign was found defaced with a s**...
No one knows if it was done by a supporter or a protester
I heard that Bill Clinton threw his support behind Bernie Sanders
He misheard. He thought the campaign slogan was *Feel the Intern*.
Why does the Trump campaign hire people in groups of three?
One who can read, one who can write, and one to keep an eye on the other two "elitist intellectuals."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is a miniskirt like a political campaign?
What they reveal is interesting, but what they conceal is vital - and they both usually have a c**t in their center.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ted Cruz should have been forced to carry his Campaign to term...
Terminating it is unchristian afterall
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ted Cruz has aborted his campaign
..but I say he should be forced to carry it to full term
A new punchline for 'The last time X happened' jokes...
Donald Trump's presidential campaign was considered a joke
The Worst Natural Disaster
So, all the natural disasters took a vote to see which one was the worst.
* Hurricane blew the others away.
* Earthquake shook things up pretty badly.
* Flooding was a bit of a wash.
* Blizzard almost buried the rest.
* Sinkhole's campaign totally collapsed.
* Meteor made a deep impact.
But in the end, Avalanche won by a landslide.
The Trump campaign is advising supporters over 45 who want to shake the candidate's hand to bring along their reading glasses.
After a few incidents.
CNN has just reported that Monika Lewinski will be helping with the Donald Trump for president campaign.
Apparently, the last time she endorsed a Clinton, it left a bad taste in her mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What was Adolf h**...'s campaign slogan?
*"auschwitz the old, in with the Jews!"*
I was going to tell a joke about Donald Trump's presidential campaign..
but then I realized it was racist, too long, and didn't make any sense.
The FBI raided Hillary Clinton's campaign headquarters
She needed them to get in quick and destroy all the evidence.
Libertarian Presidential Candidate's new Campaign, inspired by Bernie Sanders.
"Feel the Johnson"
Why couldn't Hillary Clinton keep up her US presidential campaign?
She was let down by a weak Constitution.
Caesar comes across a problem
During Julis Caesar's campaigns against the Germanic tribes, he came across never before seen weather, it came crashing down on the men and stalled exit of the most recently conquered villages.
Amazed by this, he asks one of the local what it is.
"Hail, Caesar" The man replies.
Trump's last two chances to save his election campaign at the second debate:
1. Be endorsed by Dave.
2. Bring out a resurrected Harambe on stage.
Third party US presidential candidate Gary Johnson just delivered a crushing blow to the Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton campaigns
By keeping his mouth shut.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's 2004 and George W Bush is on the campaign trail...
He stops at a small-town midwest diner for breakfast. After taking a seat he is greeted by a pretty young waitress.
"Mr president, what an honor it is to be serving you. So what will you be having this morning?"
Dubya looks up from his menu, smiles, and says "How about a q**...?"
The waitress is appalled. "Mr president! I voted for you because I thought you stood for morals! And family values! I guess you're no better than Clinton."
After she storms off, one of the president's advisors leans over and says "Hey, uh, George, it's pronounced *keesh*."
Why are lawyers so expensive?
Because presidential campaigns aren't cheap
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The American Presidential Campaign is a lot like the new Mac.
**There is no escape.**
What will the presidential candidate for the next election choose as his/her campaign motto?
"Make America *good* again"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Deez nuts should've invested a bit more on his campaign
He actually would've won...
The Hillary clinton campaign had planned a concert and that's why all of those people were waiting at her watch party.
Hillary was singing the blues.
BREAKING NEWS
Hillary's entire campaign staff found dead from natural causes this morning. No foul play is suspected.
People seem to have a kind of anti-water campaign that only comes around at Christmas
All I hear for two weeks is "No well, no well, no well"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
From the Gallipoli campaign in World War I...
The Australians are interrogating a captured Turkish soldier, when finally poor Mehmet has a question for them.
"Why do you call God such awful names? Why do you curse Him when your soldiers go into battle?"
The Aussies were surprised. "What do you mean?"
"Well, when we Turks leap out of our trenches and charge your lines, we cry 'Allah! Allah!' But when you charge us, you shout b**... BASTAAARRRDD!!!'"
They say history repeats itself...
But I never expected it to repeat itself so soon, let alone at the superbowl! I haven't seen a lead blown so bad since Hillary's 2016 Campaign!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I am campaigning to end child s**... slavery!!!
I want to ensure they are all payed a fair wage.
My local police department is running a dual campaign against dangerous driving and taking drugs. The signs read:
SPEED KILLS
I Know It's Bad Politics but...
I've secretly been running a smear campaign on all the toilets at work.
Cam Newton isn't really a sexist...
He's just getting a jump on his Presidential Campaign.
Newton '20
The NHL's Florida Panthers have apologized to their fans for using Kevin Spacey in a marketing campaign
it's probably for the best. He's a better fit with the Nashville Predators
Please stop hating on Trump, he saved my friend's life!
Earlier last year my friend had been in a coma for years. The doctors tried everything and told us to pray for a miracle.
And then one day his nurse came and switched the TV to Trump's campaign, he woke up and turned it off.
"Don't dwell on the past,don't dream about the future", is one of the most beautiful thoughts, was it Buddha?
Naw, it's just Congressman Roy Moore's Republican campaign slogan.
As part of the NHS anti smoking campaign ,they've brought together an all children task force...
The Nicoteens.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Legalising w**...
My campaign for legalising w**... is going well, I've placed posters everywhere, I call it _Propaganja_.
How do you know the Clinton campaign didn't use Cambridge Analytica?
The whistleblower is still alive.
A deli's competitor falsely accused them of using expired cream cheese on their bagels.
It was all just a schmear campaign.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A left handed man was arrested the other day...
They say his smear campaign ruined a number of decent characters.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The campaign to re-irritate our international allies is called:
Make America Grate Again
The Catholic church wants more people interested in priesthood.
They have got a lot of bad publicity lately so they just released a new campaign. They are offering scholarships for 100 lucky boys that can attend private school to become a priest for free.
Their slogan: "Find the priest inside of you."
