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Camp Jokes

140 camp jokes and hilarious camp puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about camp that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make your next camping trip a hoot with the ultimate collection of camp jokes for kids. Find hilarious jokes for 7, 8, 9, 11, 12, 13, and 14 year olds that will have the whole campground roaring. Perfect for scouts and tents, your camping trip will be full of laughter and fun!

Funniest Camp Short Jokes

Short camp jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The camp humour may include short park jokes also.

  1. Whats the difference between an ISIS training camp and a children's hospital? I dunno, I just fly the drone...
  2. Whats the difference between an al qaeda training camp and a school? I dont know, I just fly the drones.
  3. What's the difference between a Syrian wedding and an ISIS training camp? I don't know man, I just fly the drone.
  4. A hole has been discovered in the fence that surrounds a nudist camp. Authorities are looking into it.
  5. When my Mom found out I had asthma she sent me to a camp for Asthmatic children. It was so much fun.. singing songs around the Humidifire. ( yes I know how I spelt it )
  6. Whats the difference between a preschool and a taliban camp? I don't know man. I just fly the drones.
  7. [Offensive] Adolf visits the concentration camp and asks a young boy how old he is "I'll be 6 soon!"
    "Nope"
  8. A sergeant at a training camp calls one of the new recruits to his office... "I didn't see you at camouflage training today!"
    "Thank you so much, sir!"
  9. my wife and I planned an entire week of camping. After two days, we packed our stuff and went home. We will never do that again! The entire situation was just two in tent.
  10. You woman gotta' realise, making us sleep on the couch ain't that bad... It's kinda manly, makes us feel like we are camping. With an angry bear nearby.

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Camp One Liners

Which camp one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with camp? I can suggest the ones about club and tour.

  1. You can't run through a camp ground. You can only ran, because it's past tents.
  2. Germany opens a summer school for kids with ADD Its a concentration camp
  3. Where do admins go for summer break? Banned camp.
  4. A hole was found in a nudist camp wall The police are now looking into it.
  5. They say there's safety in numbers... Tell that to 6 million Jews
  6. Yo mama is so fat.. ..when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.
  7. Where do german parents send their ADD kids? Concentration Camps
  8. Abortion is The most effective form of spawn camping
  9. Why aren't Jews easily distracted? because they've been to concentration camp.
  10. What do you call it when Al Capone goes camping? Criminal intent.
  11. An Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman and a Chinese man arrange to go camping... k
  12. What is the difference between jews and children? Children come back from their camps.
  13. A friend of mine jointed a nudist camp last week he said the first day was the hardest.
  14. What do you call a soldier who never made it past boot camp A cop
  15. What is the worst punishment for someone with ADHD? A concentration camp

Concentration Camp Jokes

Here is a list of funny concentration camp jokes and even better concentration camp puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I started a summer camp for kids with add/adhd to teach them to manage their symptoms. It didn't do so well, people kept telling me Concentration Camp was a bad name.
  • Where do German parents send their children with ADD for the Summer? Concentration Camp
  • My grandpa died in a concentration camp. Poor guy fell out of the guard tower.
  • I opened up a summer camp for kids with adhd. Although I regret calling it a concentration camp.
  • Where do they make Adderall? Concentration Camps
  • Translating the German joke Germans only tell Germans. I don't like to talk about the holocaust either. My grandfather died in a concentration camp.
    He got drunk and fell off the guard tower.
  • Where do Jewish kids go when they are diagnosed with ADD? Concentration camps
  • I have found a cure for people suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder... ... just send them to concentration camps.
  • Where do you send your kid to be cured of ADD? A concentration camp
  • Why do Germans have such great focus? I think it's because they used to have concentration camps.

Summer Camp Jokes

Here is a list of funny summer camp jokes and even better summer camp puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My wife Not many of you know that my wife was bitten by a rattlesnake over the summer, while we were camping. After two days of horrible, writhing agony, the snake died.
  • Why do Jews stay home during the summer? They don't like going to camps.
  • I wanted to open up a summer camp for kids with learning disabilities apparently people think calling it a concentration camp is wrong
  • The oldest one I could think of on a Monday morning: Where do cantaloupes go during the summer?
    John Cougar's Melon Camp.
  • My summer camp, which was all about focus and blocking out distractions, did really poorly this year Apparently no one wants to go to a concentration camp
  • Where do cantaloupes go in the summer? To John Cougar's Mellon Camp
  • Did you hear about the German summer camp where they gave all the kids adderall? It turned into a concentration camp
  • What do you call summer camp for unvaccinated kids? Cemeteries.
  • What is a plastic surgeon's favorite activity at summer camp? arts and grafts.
  • I want to start a summer program for kids with A.D.D. I call it "Concentration Camp"
Camp joke, I want to start a summer program for kids with A.D.D.

Kids Camp Jokes

Here is a list of funny kids camp jokes and even better kids camp puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's a fat kids favourite instrument? The dinner bell
  • I had ADD as a kid So my parents enrolled me in a concentration camp
  • My uncle works at a camp for kids who are about to be molested I mean everyone complains about their job but he loved everyday of his
  • I have a great idea for a place for kids to go in the summer where they can meditate and relax These Concentration Camps are going to be huge!
  • Help! I need funny jokes for a 9 year is at camp! Know any kid jokes that are actually funny? Please tell me what they are
  • My wife said I was a neglectful father. So I told my kid I would take him to a summer camp. Now I get a free ride back to Guatemala and my wife can take it up with Trump from now on.
  • Where do Jewish kids go in the summer to learn to study better? Concentration camp
  • Whats camp for kids with ADD called? Concentration camp.
  • A kid was sent to a French summer camp program that lasted three weeks. It was called Vingt In the Sun
  • The Trump Administration is calling its concentration camps for kids under 5 Tender Age centers... The name narrowly beat out Preblinka and Gauchowitz.

Kid Camp Jokes

Here is a list of funny kid camp jokes and even better kid camp puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a program that teaches kids how to make orange juice? A concentration camp
  • Hmm. . . What should you do with the Jewish, autistic kid?
    Send him to a concentration camp. . .
  • I was telling a joke while camping with the kids, when some beavers came along and started felling trees. Dam ruined the punchline.
  • I wanted to build a camp for kids with ADD. But I got shut down for calling it a concentration camp.
  • When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
  • I don't like the idea of sending kids to camps over the summer. Especially concentration camps.
  • Did I ever tell you about my uncle? He works at a camp for kids that are about to be molested.
  • Did you hear about Kobe's basketball camp for obese kids? It's called kobesity
  • So my uncle is starting a summer camp... It's for kids about to be molested.
  • How do Germans handle kids with ADD? They send them to concentration camps.
Camp joke, How do Germans handle kids with ADD?

Ridiculous Camp Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about camp you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cola jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make camp pranks.

Two Jews die and wait outside the pearly gates.

While waiting they realise that they both survived the same concentration camp.
After some chatting, one says to the other: "remember that time when the guard pushed you onto the electric fence and you almost died?" A second of silence passes and suddenly they both start laughing hysterically.
Upon calming down the other Jew asks his new friend: "remember when that dog chased you for so long that you ended up exhausted and almost died of hunger?" Another second of silence passes and again, they both start laughing like crazy.
God, overhearing the conversation, approaches the old Jewish couple and asks them what's so funny about any of these events.
They both look up and say: "Oh you wouldn't understand, you just had to be there".

WW2 joke. I read this conversation between two Counter-Strike players ingame...

(I came in mid-conversation and for me it started like this)
Player1: I cant believe your nick is Jewhunter, that's so offensive! My grandparents were in a concentration camp during the war.
Player2: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, my grandfather died in a concentration camp.
Player1: My god that's awful...
Player2: Yea, he fell down from the guardtower.
Player1 has left the game

Deer Season

Seven guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Kevin's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Kevin's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do?
Two days later the six get to the camping site only to find Kevin sitting there with his gear set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the stove.
"Dang man, how long you been here, and how did you talk Melissa into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair at home and Melissa came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'guess who?' I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new nightie.
She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did. And then she said, "Do whatever you want."
So, here I am.

Police humors

Someone cut a hole in the nudist camp fence. The police are looking into it.
Someone stole the toilet from the police headquarters. The cops have nothing to go on.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving through the desert...

When their car breaks down. Stranded in the middle of nowhere, they have no choice but to walk the road to safety. They each agree to carry something. The brunette brings a jug of water in case they get thirsty.
The redhead brings a blanket in case they need to camp for the night. The blonde brings the car door. The others ask why.
She says, "If we get hot, we can just roll the window down!"

What's the difference between a Pakistani elementary school and an Al Qaeda training camp?

Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.

h**... is walking in an extermination camp with the camp manager..

"Why is there such a sweet smell in the air?" h**... asked.
"Today we're burning the diabetic" answered the manager.

Campus bookstore robbed

The Campus bookstore was just robbed of $25000. The criminal was seen taking a sweatshirt and 4 textbooks

A North Korean soldier runs across the DMZ and yells to the US Army "Kim Jong Un is an idiot!" and gets thrown in a labor camp for 16 years by the government.

1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and the other 15 for revealing a state secret.

A large hole appeared on the fence of the nudist camp...

...The police are looking into it.

What did the boy scout do that the jewish boy couldn't

Come home from camp

One day a man wandered too far away

From his camp, he knows he needs to head east and he searches for hours trying to find the sun.
Then it dawned on him.
(Thought of this joke at work, might have sounded better in my head)

I'll never forgive the n**... for how they treated my granddad in that concentration camp during the war.

Five years he was there on that machine gun tower, and never got a single promotion...

What's the difference between a muslim wedding and a t**... training camp?

I don't know either, I'm just the drone pilot.

I was once kicked out of fat camp

for being a little debbie downer.

A North-Korean officer pulls out a megaphone at the North and South Korean border and yells "Kim Jong-Un is an idiot!" and gets sent to 31 years in a labor camp.

1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and 30 years for revealing a state secret.

Wife's Campaign

My wife has wasted years campaigning for t**... companies to make sanitary products suitable for the 'larger' lady.

I'm trying to convince her that it's time to just throw in the towel.

When going camping you can never run

You have to ran, because it will always be past tents.

My grandfather got his tongue cut out in a POW camp

He doesn't like to talk about it.

Did you hear about the s**... b**... camp?

I heard it was a blast.

Is it I 'ran' through the campground?

Or...I 'run' through the campground?
Oh right, I ran, because its past tents.

Whats the difference between a t**... training camp and an orphanage?

I don't know I just fly the drone.

An Irish Lumberjack

A large Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny Irishman showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the Foreman's door.

The Foreman took one look at the small Irishman and told him to leave. "Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the Irishman.

"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the Foreman. "Take your axe and go cut it down."

The Irishman headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the Foreman's door.

"I cut the tree down," said the Irishman.
"*Holy smokes!*" Said the Formean. "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?"

"In the Sahara Forest," replied the Irishman.

Confused, the Forman asked "...don't you mean the Sahara Desert?"
"Is that what they call it now?"

Hobo s**...

Hobo walks back into the camp where his buddies are having dinner. He is all happy and smiling.
They ask, why are you so happy.
He replies, well, I was walking along the track and found a beautiful woman tied to the tracks. I untied her and we had s**... for hours.
One of his buddies asks: "Did you get any head"
"No", he replied, "the train took most of that".

I don't like jokes about the Holocaust. My grandfather died in a concentration camp.

He fell out of a guard tower.

My biggest fear used to be dying alone

but thanks to Trump, I know it'll be in a camp, surrounded by other minorities.

The camping shop in Stratford-upon-Avon is having a sale of last season's stock. Their slogan....?

Now.. is the winter of our discount tents.

How do you tell the difference between a Pakistani wedding and an ISIS training camp?

I don't know, I just fly the drone

Some campers wake up in the morning and start making breakfast...

Nearby is a family of moles living in their burrow underground. Papa mole wakes up and crawls up to the hole and says, "It smells delicious up here! I can smell sausage and eggs and is that some ham frying too?" So mama mole climbs up and she's greeted with the sweet smells of breakfast. "I smell fresh toast and flap jacks and maybe a hint of cinnamon!" Baby mole tries to enjoy the smells but can't get past mama and papa through the hole and says, "All I can smell is molasses."

Camped

Dad: We're going camped tomorrow, and I think we'll go extra deep into the woods.
Son: That sounds really fun, but wouldn't the proper statement be 'we're going camping.'
Dad: Normally, yes, but the verb changes because I'm sure we'll be going past tents.

Q: What is the difference between an ISIS boot camp and a local school?

A: How should I know? I just fly the drones.
A lot of you probably heard this before. I heard it for the first time and felt like sharing

My best joke.

During the second world war there was a camp leader who out of the kindness of his heart rescued 160 Jewish people and provided them with warmth, shelter, bottles of water and loaves and loaves of bread. You think this was a kind gesture? You should of seen h**...; he made 6 million Jews toast!

There was three pilots...

Three WW2 pilots were shot down behind enemy lines and captured. They were sent to a POW camp to be executed. They were lined up and the firing squad said "Ready, aim" and then the first pilot screamd
"Tornado" then the soldiers ran for cover. When thay found no tornado they lined back up.
"Ready aim" Then the second screeched "b**... run" then the soldiers ran for cover. They then lined up again. "Ready aim" Then the third pilot knew what to do and screamed "FIRE".

What is the difference between an Afghan t**... camp and an Afghan nursery?

No idea, I just fly the drone.

Camping.

An uneducated father with his educated son went on a camping trip. They set-up their tent and fell asleep. Some hours later, the father woke up his son.
Father- "Look up to the sky and tell me what you see."
Son- "I see millions of stars."
Father- "And what does that tell you?"
Son- "Astronomically, it tells that there are millions of galaxies and planets."
Father slaps the son hard and says- "Idiot, someone has stolen our tent"

What's the difference between a Middle Eastern preschool and an ISIS training camp?

I have no idea, I just fly the drone

I don't like camping with just one other person.

It's just too intense.

Y'know, communism is definitely the best system of government.

Nowadays it costs one hundred dollars just to go camping for a night. In the Soviet Union you could go to camp forever, and it was free.

Hitlers s**...

One jewish man tells a joke to a woman, so he says:
"Why did h**... commit s**...?"
She said: "I don't know."
he replies:".... He saw the gas bill."
Then she said:"That's horrible! How could you say that!"
And he replies: "I'm sorry, I really shouldn't be joking about the holocaust. My great grandfather died in concentration camp."
The girl replies: "I'm so sorry to hear that."
And he says: "Yeah, it's sad, he fell off the guard tower."

I got an internship job at a nudist camp

I'm doing it for the exposure

FOBs will understand.

3 new men - an Irish man, an English man and a Samoan - arrive at the army camp. The next day, the colonel, salt of the earth, rough as guts type fellow, decides to go psych the newbies up.
He calls them to line up and approaches the Irish man...
"DID YOU COME HERE TO DIE!?!?"
"SIR YES SIR!! I CAME HERE TO DIE!"
"Good."
He walks over to the English man...
"DID YOU COME HERE TO DIE!?!?"
"SIR YES SIR!! I CAME HERE TO DIE!"
"Good man."
Then he approaches the Samoan...
"DID YOU COME HERE TO DIE!?!?"
"SIR NO SIR!!"
"What??"
"I CAME HERE YESTER-DIE!"

The head instructor at the Al-Qaeda's training camp starts his lesson on s**... b**......

"Now listen up closely everyone be, I'm only gonna be showing this once".

A Young Russian is sent to a Siberian Work Camp

A Guard looks at him and asks "How long is your sentence?"
The young man says, "Ten years"
The guard whistles and replies, "What did you do?"
"Nothing" says the young man.
The guard laughs and says "That's a lie. For doing nothing you only get 8 years"

Meanwhile at an ISIS training camp

A bunch of prospective terrorists gathered for their final training lesson before going into the field.
Their instructor said, Now, watch closely, children. I can only show you how to do this once.

I'm very appalled by holocaust jokes.

They are of poor taste and aren't funny.
My own grandfather died in a concentration camp.
The poor fellow, god bless his soul, went to get some food and accidentally fell down from his watchtower.

An Arabic man goes to visit his friend in Canada.

First they go out to lunch and the Arabic man orders a Bebsi and a bizza . His friend corrected him and said it was Pepsi and pizza.
The next day, they went to camp in the woods. The Arab goes to pee and comes running back.
What happened?! exclaimed his friend.
I saw a pear!

Another old Soviet joke

Three prisoners are standing in the yard at a Siberian work camp.
The first says to the second, "What are you in here for?" and the second one replies "I said something n**... about Comrade Popov in 1937. What about you?"
The first prisoner says, "I said something nice about Comrade Popov in 1938."
They both turn to the third prisoner. "And you, comrade, why are you here?" The third prisoner says, "I *am* Comrade Popov!"

A lion is drinking from a puddle and his tail is up.

A gorilla walks up behind him, seizes the opportunity and has his way with him.
The gorilla takes off and the lion takes off after him. The gorilla runs into a hunter's camp, jumps into a tent, puts on a safari outfit and a pith helmet, grabs a copy of The Johannesburg Times, sits down and pretends to read.
The lion runs into the camp, sticks his head into the tent and roars, "Arrgg! Did a gorilla come through here?"
The gorilla says, "You mean the one that nailed you from behind?"
The lion says, "You mean it's in the paper already?"

Why is camping hard?

Because it's in tents.

I got kicked out of band camp for trying to play a guitar with a bow.

They said I violated it.

Pedro reaches the doctor's clinic

Pedro reaches the doctor's clinic looking very despondent.
Doc: What're you here for?
Pedro: The vasectomy camp.
Dr: Oh ok. How many kids do you have?
Pedro: None. I am not even married !!
Dr (shocked): Then why do you want a vasectomy?
Pedro: Every man in the village got it done over the last few years. Now whenever their wives conceive, they come and beat me up !!!

The Drill Sergeant

A drill sergeant runs his platoon of recruits all over the camp in the hot sun with heavy packs on. As they stand there, exhausted, he puts his face right up to one recruit's face and says, "I'll bet you're wishing I would die so you could come and pee on my grave, aren't you?"
The recruit responds, "No, sir! When I get out of the army I'm never gonna stand in another line again."

What do you call a campfire at a nudist camp?

A w**... roast.

How can you spot a blind man in a nudist camp?

It's not hard

A Russian officer is called into a meeting with his superior at their base camp

His boss starts:
"Comrade Lieutenant, it has come to my attention that you have been selling half of our fuel reserves on the black market"
"Yes Captain, it's true..."
"That's most unfortunate Lieutenant..."
"To be honest Captain, I know you sell army supplies too."
"I know..."
"Then what's the problem if I do it?"
"Because I already sold the other half."

Do you think campers are passionate?

Because I often find them in tents.

Stalin visits a Young Pioneer camp.

He asks one boy, "What is your name, boy?"
"My name is Vovochka Karpov, Comrade Stalin" says the boy.
"So tell me, Vovochka," Stalin says, "who is your mother?"
"My mother is the Great Soviet Country!"
"Very good," says Stalin, "and your father?"
"My father is the wise and kind Josef Vissarionovich Stalin!"
Stalin pats Vovochka's cheek: "Marvelous! And what is your greatest desire?"
"To become an orphan."

Two history professors are visiting a nudist camp.

"Excuse me," says one to the other. "But have you read Marx?"
"Yes, the second replied. "I think it's these d**... wicker chairs."

I went on a camping trip to try to save the dolphins.

It was a waste of time for all in tents and porpoises.

An actual joke that was told by Jews during World War II

An SS man says to a Jew in a concentration camp: "You are to be killed today, but I will give you a chance. One of my eyes is a glass eye. If you can guess which one it is, I will give you your life."
The Jew looks at the SS man and says, "The left one, Herr Corporal."
"That is correct. How did you recognize it?"
"Because it looks so human."

Camp joke, An actual joke that was told by Jews during World War II

jokes about camp