The Best 68 Camp Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Camp jokes. There are some camp camping men jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these camp so this one time at band camp puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Camp Jokes and Puns

Two Jews die and wait outside the pearly gates.

While waiting they realise that they both survived the same concentration camp.

After some chatting, one says to the other: "remember that time when the guard pushed you onto the electric fence and you almost died?" A second of silence passes and suddenly they both start laughing hysterically.

Upon calming down the other Jew asks his new friend: "remember when that dog chased you for so long that you ended up exhausted and almost died of hunger?" Another second of silence passes and again, they both start laughing like crazy.

God, overhearing the conversation, approaches the old Jewish couple and asks them what's so funny about any of these events.

They both look up and say: "Oh you wouldn't understand, you just had to be there".

WW2 joke. I read this conversation between two Counter-Strike players ingame...

(I came in mid-conversation and for me it started like this)

Player1: I cant believe your nick is Jewhunter, that's so offensive! My grandparents were in a concentration camp during the war.

Player2: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, my grandfather died in a concentration camp.

Player1: My god that's awful...

Player2: Yea, he fell down from the guardtower.

Player1 has left the game

Deer Season

Seven guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Kevin's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.

Kevin's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do?

Two days later the six get to the camping site only to find Kevin sitting there with his gear set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the stove.

"Dang man, how long you been here, and how did you talk Melissa into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair at home and Melissa came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'guess who?' I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new nightie.

She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did. And then she said, "Do whatever you want."

So, here I am.

Police humors

Someone cut a hole in the nudist camp fence. The police are looking into it.

Someone stole the toilet from the police headquarters. The cops have nothing to go on.

jokes about camp

When my Mom found out I had asthma she sent me to a camp for Asthmatic children.

It was so much fun.. singing songs around the Humidifire. ( yes I know how I spelt it )

Whats the difference between an al qaeda training camp and a school?

I dont know, I just fly the drones.

What's the difference between a Pakistani elementary school and an Al Qaeda training camp?

Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.

Camp joke, What's the difference between a Pakistani elementary school and an Al Qaeda training camp?

Hitler is walking in an extermination camp with the camp manager..

"Why is there such a sweet smell in the air?" Hitler asked.
"Today we're burning the diabetic" answered the manager.

Translating the German joke Germans only tell Germans.

I don't like to talk about the Holocaust either. My grandfather died in a concentration camp.

He got drunk and fell off the guard tower.

Campus bookstore robbed

The Campus bookstore was just robbed of $25000. The criminal was seen taking a sweatshirt and 4 textbooks

A North Korean soldier runs across the DMZ and yells to the US Army "Kim Jong Un is an idiot!" and gets thrown in a labor camp for 16 years by the government.

1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and the other 15 for revealing a state secret.

You can explore camp scout reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean camp campfire dad jokes. There are also camp puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What did the boy scout do that the jewish boy couldn't

Come home from camp

I'll never forgive the Nazis for how they treated my granddad in that concentration camp during the war.

Five years he was there on that machine gun tower, and never got a single promotion...

What's the difference between a muslim wedding and a terrorist training camp?

I don't know either, I'm just the drone pilot.

Where do admins go for summer break?

Banned camp.

I was once kicked out of fat camp

for being a little debbie downer.

Camp joke, I was once kicked out of fat camp

A North-Korean officer pulls out a megaphone at the North and South Korean border and yells "Kim Jong-Un is an idiot!" and gets sent to 31 years in a labor camp.

1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and 30 years for revealing a state secret.

I started a camp for kids with ADHD.

It's a Concentration camp.

You can't run through a camp ground.

You can only ran, because it's past tents.

Wife's Campaign

My wife has wasted years campaigning for tampon companies to make sanitary products suitable for the 'larger' lady.

I'm trying to convince her that it's time to just throw in the towel.

My grandfather got his tongue cut out in a POW camp

He doesn't like to talk about it.

Whats the difference between an ISIS training camp and a children's hospital?

I dunno, I just fly the drone...

Is it I 'ran' through the campground?

Or...I 'run' through the campground?

Oh right, I ran, because its past tents.

Germany opens a summer school for kids with ADD

Its a concentration camp

Whats the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?

I don't know I just fly the drone.

An Irish Lumberjack

A large Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny Irishman showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the Foreman's door.

The Foreman took one look at the small Irishman and told him to leave. "Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the Irishman.

"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the Foreman. "Take your axe and go cut it down."

The Irishman headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the Foreman's door.

"I cut the tree down," said the Irishman.

"*Holy smokes!*" Said the Formean. "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?"

"In the Sahara Forest," replied the Irishman.

Confused, the Forman asked "...don't you mean the Sahara Desert?"

"Is that what they call it now?"

Camp joke, An Irish Lumberjack

Why aren't Jews easily distracted?

because they've been to concentration camp.

Hobo Sex

Hobo walks back into the camp where his buddies are having dinner. He is all happy and smiling.

They ask, why are you so happy.

He replies, well, I was walking along the track and found a beautiful woman tied to the tracks. I untied her and we had sex for hours.

One of his buddies asks: "Did you get any head"

"No", he replied, "the train took most of that".

Whats the difference between a preschool and a taliban camp?

I don't know man. I just fly the drones.

[Offensive] Adolf visits the concentration camp and asks a young boy how old he is

"I'll be 6 soon!"

"Nope"

My biggest fear used to be dying alone

but thanks to Trump, I know it'll be in a camp, surrounded by other minorities.

How do you tell the difference between a Pakistani wedding and an ISIS training camp?

I don't know, I just fly the drone

Some campers wake up in the morning and start making breakfast...

Nearby is a family of moles living in their burrow underground. Papa mole wakes up and crawls up to the hole and says, "It smells delicious up here! I can smell sausage and eggs and is that some ham frying too?" So mama mole climbs up and she's greeted with the sweet smells of breakfast. "I smell fresh toast and flap jacks and maybe a hint of cinnamon!" Baby mole tries to enjoy the smells but can't get past mama and papa through the hole and says, "All I can smell is molasses."

Camped

Dad: We're going camped tomorrow, and I think we'll go extra deep into the woods.

Son: That sounds really fun, but wouldn't the proper statement be 'we're going camping.'

Dad: Normally, yes, but the verb changes because I'm sure we'll be going past tents.

Q: What is the difference between an ISIS boot camp and a local school?

A: How should I know? I just fly the drones.

A lot of you probably heard this before. I heard it for the first time and felt like sharing

Where should children with ADHD be sent?

A Concentration Camp!

My grandpa died in a concentration camp.

Poor guy fell out of the guard tower.

Who's the most popular guy in the nudist camp?

The one who can carry two cups of coffee and nine donuts.

Who's the most popular lady in the nudist camp?

The one who can eat the last donut.

A friend of mine jointed a nudist camp last week

he said the first day was the hardest.

There was three pilots...

Three WW2 pilots were shot down behind enemy lines and captured. They were sent to a POW camp to be executed. They were lined up and the firing squad said "Ready, aim" and then the first pilot screamd
"Tornado" then the soldiers ran for cover. When thay found no tornado they lined back up.
"Ready aim" Then the second screeched "Bombing run" then the soldiers ran for cover. They then lined up again. "Ready aim" Then the third pilot knew what to do and screamed "FIRE".

A hole was found in a nudist camp wall

The police are now looking into it.

What's the difference between a Middle Eastern preschool and an ISIS training camp?

I have no idea, I just fly the drone

Where do you send your kid to be cured of ADD?

A concentration camp

A sergeant at a training camp calls one of the new recruits to his office...

"I didn't see you at camouflage training today!"

"Thank you so much, sir!"

What's the difference between a Syrian wedding and an ISIS training camp?

I don't know man, I just fly the drone.

Hitlers suicide

One jewish man tells a joke to a woman, so he says:
"Why did hitler commit suicide?"
She said: "I don't know."
he replies:".... He saw the gas bill."
Then she said:"That's horrible! How could you say that!"
And he replies: "I'm sorry, I really shouldn't be joking about the holocaust. My great grandfather died in concentration camp."
The girl replies: "I'm so sorry to hear that."
And he says: "Yeah, it's sad, he fell off the guard tower."

I got an internship job at a nudist camp

I'm doing it for the exposure

Where do German parents send their children with ADD for the Summer?

Concentration Camp

The head instructor at the Al-Qaeda's training camp starts his lesson on suicide bombing...

"Now listen up closely everyone be, I'm only gonna be showing this once".

A Young Russian is sent to a Siberian Work Camp

A Guard looks at him and asks "How long is your sentence?"

The young man says, "Ten years"

The guard whistles and replies, "What did you do?"

"Nothing" says the young man.

The guard laughs and says "That's a lie. For doing nothing you only get 8 years"

I'm very appalled by holocaust jokes.

They are of poor taste and aren't funny.
My own grandfather died in a concentration camp.

The poor fellow, god bless his soul, went to get some food and accidentally fell down from his watchtower.

I started a summer camp for kids with add/adhd to teach them to manage their symptoms.

It didn't do so well, people kept telling me Concentration Camp was a bad name.

What do you call a soldier who never made it past boot camp

A cop

I started a camp for kids with ADHD but nobody showed up.

I guess calling it Concentration Camp was a bad idea.

If you open a camp to help kids with ADHD

Is it a concentration camp?

Another old Soviet joke

Three prisoners are standing in the yard at a Siberian work camp.

The first says to the second, "What are you in here for?" and the second one replies "I said something nasty about Comrade Popov in 1937. What about you?"

The first prisoner says, "I said something nice about Comrade Popov in 1938."

They both turn to the third prisoner. "And you, comrade, why are you here?" The third prisoner says, "I *am* Comrade Popov!"

A lion is drinking from a puddle and his tail is up.

A gorilla walks up behind him, seizes the opportunity and has his way with him.

The gorilla takes off and the lion takes off after him. The gorilla runs into a hunter's camp, jumps into a tent, puts on a safari outfit and a pith helmet, grabs a copy of The Johannesburg Times, sits down and pretends to read.

The lion runs into the camp, sticks his head into the tent and roars, "Arrgg! Did a gorilla come through here?"

The gorilla says, "You mean the one that nailed you from behind?"

The lion says, "You mean it's in the paper already?"

I opened up a summer camp for kids with adhd.

Although I regret calling it a concentration camp.

I got kicked out of band camp for trying to play a guitar with a bow.

They said I violated it.

The Drill Sergeant

A drill sergeant runs his platoon of recruits all over the camp in the hot sun with heavy packs on. As they stand there, exhausted, he puts his face right up to one recruit's face and says, "I'll bet you're wishing I would die so you could come and pee on my grave, aren't you?"
The recruit responds, "No, sir! When I get out of the army I'm never gonna stand in another line again."

What do you call a campfire at a nudist camp?

A weenie roast.

How can you spot a blind man in a nudist camp?

It's not hard

A hole has been discovered in the fence that surrounds a nudist camp.

Authorities are looking into it.

A Russian officer is called into a meeting with his superior at their base camp

His boss starts:

"Comrade Lieutenant, it has come to my attention that you have been selling half of our fuel reserves on the black market"

"Yes Captain, it's true..."

"That's most unfortunate Lieutenant..."

"To be honest Captain, I know you sell army supplies too."

"I know..."

"Then what's the problem if I do it?"

"Because I already sold the other half."

Do you think campers are passionate?

Because I often find them in tents.

Stalin visits a Young Pioneer camp.

He asks one boy, "What is your name, boy?"

"My name is Vovochka Karpov, Comrade Stalin" says the boy.

"So tell me, Vovochka," Stalin says, "who is your mother?"

"My mother is the Great Soviet Country!"

"Very good," says Stalin, "and your father?"

"My father is the wise and kind Josef Vissarionovich Stalin!"

Stalin pats Vovochka's cheek: "Marvelous! And what is your greatest desire?"

"To become an orphan."

Two history professors are visiting a nudist camp.

"Excuse me," says one to the other. "But have you read Marx?"
"Yes, the second replied. "I think it's these damned wicker chairs."

I went on a camping trip to try to save the dolphins.

It was a waste of time for all in tents and porpoises.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the camp concentration camp puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working camp deer camp piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes