Camouflage Jokes
102 camouflage jokes and hilarious camouflage puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about camouflage that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Camouflage Short Jokes
Short camouflage jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The camouflage humour may include short wearing camo jokes also.
- If a tree falls..... A tree falls in the forest but doesn't make a sound.
Hunter in camouflage gear: "WHAT THE HECK???!"
Tree: "I mean, AAAAAARGH, I fell!" - Sergeant: Smith! I didn't see you at camouflage practice today! Private Smith: Thank you, Sir!
- Camouflage training The sergeant-major growled at the young soldier, "I didn't see you at camouflage training this morning."
"Thank you very much, sir." - Camouflage training at the military Captain: I DIDN'T SEE YOU AT THE CAMOUFLAGE TRAINING TODAY JOHNSON!!
Johnson: Thank you sir! - A bloke in a wheelchair stole my camouflage stuff I told him 'you can hide but you can't run'.
- A mother Chameleon was so overcome with joy when her eggs hatched that her camouflage dropped. Looking down excitedly, she exclaimed, "I've become apparent!"
- Some friends of mine recently lost their baby. They swore to never dress him in camouflage again if he turns up.
- An army general walks into a room with a solder. He said "I didn't see you today at camouflage traning... Th soldier reply's "Thank you Sir!"
- Camoflage practice A sergeant was addressing his soldiers:
"Mark, I didn't see you at camouflage practice this morning"
To which Mark replied, "Thank you, sir!" - In the Army Sergeant: "Private Ryan, I didn't see you at camouflage training yesterday!
Private: "Thank you, sergeant.
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Camouflage One Liners
Which camouflage one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with camouflage? I can suggest the ones about chameleon and disguise.
- How does a dog camouflage itself in the forest? It barks.
My 4 yo made this up. - I wear camouflage condoms So they can't see me coming
- Wear camouflage condoms Never let em see you coming
- I didn't see you at camouflage training today Thank you sir
- I was going to apply for a job in the army, But I just couldn't see myself in camouflage.
- I was going to start a camouflage plane company But I just can't see it taking off
- so i went to the clothes shop to buy camouflaged pants... ...and i didn't find any.
- How did you get pregnant ? Well those camouflage condoms my boyfriend used didn't work
- English is the Devil's language Why is it spelled: camouflage
And not: - Was going to wear my camouflage pants today Couldn't find them.
- Bumped into a friend of mine the other day. He was wearing camouflage.
- The word shouldn't be "camouflage". It should be " ".
- To whoever stole my camouflage jacket You can hide, but you can't run.
- I threw a camouflage themed party last week. No one showed up.
- What do you say to a soldier who doesn't turn up for Camouflage training? Well done.
Share Hilarious Camouflage Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about camouflage you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stealth jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make camouflage pranks.
Three women escape from prison….one is a redhead, one a brunette, and one a blonde.
They run for miles until they come upon an old barn; they decide to hide in the hayloft and rest.
When they climb up, they find three gunnysacks and decide to put them over their heads for camouflage.
About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy come into the barn. T
he sheriff tell his deputy to go up and check out the hayloft.
When he got up there the sheriff asked him what he saw.
The deputy told him just three gunnysacks.
The sheriff told him to find out what was in them…..so the deputy kicked the first bag, which had the redhead in it……and she went “Bow-wow.”
So the deputy told the sheriff there was a dog in the first one.
Then he kicked the one with the brunette in it and she went “Meow.”
The deputy told the sheriff there was a cat in the second one.
Then he kicked the one with the blonde in it and there was no sound at all, so he kicked it again and the blonde said
“Potatoes.”
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do h**... kids wear camouflage?
Because they don't want to be scene.
If you were in high school in the mid 2000s, you get it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does the Pirate Wear Camouflage Underwear?
To hide his b**....
I was looking for some camouflage trousers earlier...
But I couldn't find any
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Belfast women are walking down the street...
when the first woman say to her friend:
"Jesus, them soldiers look s**... wearing camouflage uniforms and face paint in the city"
Her friend turns to her and says:
"What soldiers?"
Why don't birds have to wear camouflage?
Joke: Why don't birds have to wear camouflage?
Punch: Because they are already "in the skies".
Thank you, I'll see myself out.
The Art of Camouflage
by Ruff Buttsex.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
To the guy who stole my camouflage jacket at the bar last night...
You can hide, but you can't run!
Camo couch?
what is the hardest part about owning a couch that is upholstered in camouflage? Not knowing where to sit every time
Here's a mind bender my 8 year old son came up with: Why are trees green?
For camouflage.
I got hit by a truck with a camouflage paint job.
It came out of nowhere.
What do you call John Cena in camouflage?
Redundant
Why is Stevie Wonder in camouflage at the Grammys
Because if he can't see us, we shouldn't be able to see him.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Im wearing my camouflaged underwear.
They'll never see me c**...
A guy goes into a military surplus store...
..and asks the owner if he has any camouflage jackets. He says, "I've got hundreds, but I can't find any of them!"
A drill sergeant is instructing a platoon...
A drill sergeant is instructing a platoon.
He is walking up and down the line of men, complementing, or insulting the men on their work in the field that day.
Finally, he reaches a private at the end of the line.
In a gruff voice, he yells "PRIVATE, I DIDN'T SEE YOU AT CAMOUFLAGE TRAINING TODAY."
Without being able to finish his sentence, the private interrupts his superior saying, "THANK YOU, SIR."
What do you call a racist in the dark?
Camouflaged
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
To the guy who stole my camouflage jacket on the bus while I was asleep
You can hide but you cannot run.
My wife asked me to get rid of my camouflage screwdriver.
She doesn't see the point of it.
Blind Man
I just passed a blind man in home depot. He was dressed head to toe in camouflage. I assume he was trying to even the playing field. Well done sir. (True Story)
Did you hear about the new camouflage turban?
It helps you hide and Sikh.
Last month I lost my camouflage hat...
I'm not sure how I should feel about this
My son went to camouflage camp last summer.
We never saw him again.
There's this new camouflage being developped that apparently makes soldiers invisible!
You have to not see it to believe it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a black man buried by volcanic rubble?
Camouflage.
The Icelandic Army has the best camouflage ever.
I can't see them anywhere!
I was mugged......
.....by a man on crutches, wearing camouflage. " Ha ha, I thought, you can hide but you can't run.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket...
You can hide, but you can't run.
This is the anniversary of my great great great grandfather inventing camouflage.
Not that anyone noticed.
Camouflage can be seen as a form of lying
Except it can't.
No motivation. Why bother if people don't notice my creative work?
It just seems that lately nobody really notices all the work I do. It seems like no matter how much effort i put into my works, no matter how much I invest in improving my skills via education, books, conferences, no matter how much i try to 'get in the spotlight' and display my art, people seem to just... pass it by and go on like they haven't even noticed it, not even giving it a glance or a moments thought.
I'm in a rut right now. Its hard to stay motivated and creative when all the hard work goes unnoticed, despite the pay being good.
For those wondering, i design camouflage.
Apparently camouflage is a thing...
I just don't see it.
Soldier, I didn't see you yesterday in the test for camouflage
Thank you my commander
To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet..
You can hide, but you can't run.
^Credit ^to ^Milton ^Jones.
Hey soldier
I haven't seen you on a camouflage drill today!
Thank you sargent!
Purple is the best color for camouflage
Have you ever seen a soldier in violet ?
General: soldier I did not see you in camouflage class today!
Soldier: Thanks, Sir....
Yes this is me ... I fixed the original post....
What do you call a camouflaged bear?
BEARly visible
Hight
What is covered in camouflage and is flying high as a plane?
- Me (during one of the sessions)
What did the hunter say to the guy in the camouflage wheelchair?
You can hide, but you can't run!
Trust me, don't buy camouflage condoms. My boyfriend wore one and it didn't work.
- Blonde
I was at the hospital today when a man dressed all in camouflage stole my wheelchair and crutches: Little does he know.
He can hide but he cannot run.
I convinced my friend to not purchase a camouflage jacket.
It's something I couldn't see him wearing.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If I owned a c**... shop, it would be called Camouflage Condoms
Because, you'd never see us coming
I wrote a great book on camouflage which was published recently.
You'll not find it in bookshops.
Today I repaired my laptop with camouflage duct tape.
Now all of my browsing will be incognito
I don't go on and on about how I can't roller skate
But apparently the whole world needs to know about how this w**... in the river can't swim.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket
You can hide but you cant run!
Why is leather jacket good for camouflage?
Because it is made of hide.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
To the man in a wheel chair who stole my camouflage jacket...
You can hide, but you can't run.
A Sargent scolded a soldier for not being in camouflage training
The soldier thanked him
I bought a package of camouflage condoms last night
She never saw me coming
I want to start a line of camouflage condoms
The slogan will be * You'll never see them coming! *
The Captain said I didn't see you at camouflage training this morning Private Jones! ...
Thank you very much The Private replied.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife claims that men in camouflage look really s**....
I just don't see it.
A soldier, airman, marine, and a sailor walk into a bar...
The soldier boasts, "Our camouflage is so good, we put 50 men in the desert and only 20 were found."
The airman retorts, "That's nothing. Our camouflage is so effective, we put 50 jets in the sky, and only 15 were found!"
The marine says, with a big grin, "Amateurs, our camouflage is so superior, we put 50 devil dogs in the jungle, and only 10 were found!"
Finally, a clearly distraught sailor on his 6th shot of whiskey says, "Our camouflage was so terrible, we pushed 50 sailors into the ocean, and only 5 were found."
Why did I not see you at the camouflage meeting this morning coporal Ryan?
Thank you sir!
The first annual meeting of the camouflage club was disastrous.
It looked like nobody showed up.
