Cameras Jokes

What are some Cameras jokes?

"Back in the day," my grandfather started to say,

"you could walk into a grocery store with 2 dollars in your pocket, and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs, and a bit of butter as well."

"But today," he continued, "wherever you go - there are cameras."

I remember when I was a kid, I could go to the store with $1 and come home with 3 bags of chips, 2 candy bars, 6 packs of now or laters, and an ice cold drink.

Nowadays, they got cameras everywhere.

I remember 30 years ago with a dollar you went to the supermarket and went out with 2 sandwiches, 1 box of 6 beers and a pack of cigars.

Today, unfortunately, there are cameras everywhere.

My grandpa would always tell me...

that when he was growing up, in rural Texas, his momma would give him $1 and send him down to the store. He'd come back with 2 loaves of bread, half a gallon of milk, a carton of eggs, and a pound of pork. He says you can't do that now-a-days, way too many security cameras.

When I was a kid, you could walk into a gas station with a $1 bill and leave with a bag of chips, a candy bar, and a coke.

Now, they have cameras everywhere.

I got security cameras fitted outside my house.

Just to convince people that I have stuff worth stealing.

A paranoid man stays at a hotel,

As per habit, he checks every inch of his hotel room looking for mics, cameras or any surveillance device.
Sure enough, right in the centre of the room, under the bed, under the carpet is a small, black metal object firmly bolted to the floor.
He takes out his equipment, detaches the metal object & throws it out the window.
The next morning the hotel manager knocks on his door & asks him,
"Good morning sir, did you have any problems last night?"
"Not at all" the man answered, "why do you ask?"
"Well, it's very strange" said the manager, "but in the room directly below yours, the chandelier suddenly fell down in the middle of the night".

Another bar joke

A man is sitting at the bar drinking a beer. He hears "nice suit". He looks around, but there is nobody near him. He shrugs it off, takes another sip. He hears "nice shoes too!" Startled, he looks around again this time searching for hidden cameras, or a television or some explanation for the voice. Still nothing. A few minutes pass and he forgets about it again going back to his beer. He then hears "you're very handsome". A little unnerved he asks the bartender "man, I don't want to sound strange, but I swear I keep hearing this voice talk to me..." the bartender replies nonchalantly "complimentary peanuts".

When I was a kid -

My mum used to send me to the corner shop of our street with a ten-bob note, and for that I'd bring back 6 eggs, 2 bottles of milk, a loaf of bread, 5lb of potatoes and a packet of sweets for me. Trouble is, you can't do that today.....

Too many cameras.

TIL that India is installing 15000 CCTV cameras in Delhi for Obama's visit.

This is ridiculous.
Just because he's black doesn't mean he'll steal anything.... When will the world stop this Racist behaviour ?

When I was your age, my mom sent me to the store with a quarter and I came back with a loaf of bread, a bottle of milk, and a newspaper.

But you can't do that anymore because there's too many surveillance cameras.

The Good Old Days!

Grandpa was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in particular to his grandson.

"When I was a kid, my mom could send me to the store, and I'd get a salami, two pints of milk, 6 oranges, 2 loaves o' bread, a magazine, and some new blue jeans... all for a dollar!!

"Grandson, "You can't DO that anymore..... they got those darn video cameras everywhere you look." 

How are condoms like cameras?

They capture your special moments.

I accidentally washed my cameras memory card.

Thankfully it still works but now all my images are watermarked.

When I was a kid I could go to a corner store with a $1 and get 2 cokes, 1 kitkat and a gum

Nowadays there are CCTV cameras everywhere

Why do scientists have cameras in the toilet?

They wanna see their pee HD.

Shopping back then

My pop was telling me about how back in the fifties you could get so much more from the shops.

Het tells me "we used to be able to go into grace brothers with ten dollars and come out with two pairs of socks, some new undies, a razor or two and a small bottle of aftershave."

But unfortunately as he tells me, "you can't get that much for ten dollars anymore...there's too many security cameras"

Aaron Paul prefers to stay in character even when the cameras aren't rolling

It's called methead acting

Grandma: "I remember the days when we could walk into a grocery store with a ten dollar bill and come out with a handful of stuff"

Me: "That's cool Grandma. But you can't do it anymore, they've got cameras everywhere"

I put hidden cameras in every butter factory in the world and will sell access to them,

Some people just want to watch the world churn

I miss going to the store with 1$ as a kid and being able to get a pack of milk, 12 eggs and a lot of candies.

Now they have cameras everywhere

I miss the old days

Before I could go into a store with 3 bucks and get 5 videogames, but now they have cameras all over the place.

A Grandfather talks to his grandson

Grandpa: Back then, for a dollah, I could get rice, milk, sardines, eggs, four boxes of cereal, a bottle of coke, some chips, and a tub of ice cream

Grandson: How about now, Grandpa?

Grandpa: Now a days, it's impossible to do anything with all dem gawddam cameras around!

what's the difference between a bunch of cameras and a million dollars?

i haven't hid a million dollars inside your house

They told me that cameras add 10 lbs... I stopped eating cameras.

A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.

He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.

I heard the camera adds 10 pounds.

Don't eat cameras.

I guess the reason they could never find Matt Lauer is because...

there are no cameras in the girls locker rooms.

Heard that 15,000 CCTV cameras are being installed in Delhi for Obama's visit....This is ridiculous.

Just because he's black doesn't mean he'll steal anything..

Life was recently discovered on Mars.

NASA had recently sent more cameras to monitor the surface of Mars when they came across a creature that they had never seen before. Due to it's large ears and long tail they decided that this was some new form of feline species. However, upon closer inspection they found that this creature was not moving and in fact had large tire marks across it's back. Based on these findings NASA had but one unfortunate observation to make.

"Curiosity killed the cat"

In the past I could get into a store with a penny and came out with 2 coke cans, 1 bag of chips and some mints, but not anymore...

...the store put cameras today.

Nostalgic grandpa

A grandfather to his grandson: when i was you age id grab $5 and get groceries for the entire week.

The grandson: We can't do that now grandpa..they have cameras installed.

I'm a really photogenic guy.


that's what the speed cameras think.

What type of cameras do police officers in the USA like?

Point and Shoot

I hate speed cameras that tell your exact speed

I always get lost after knowing how fast I'm going

Back in the days a dollar could get me...

A pack of gum, some candy, 2 sodas, 4 pack of chips. Today..well the got cameras everywhere.

I love the old times when I could buy so many candies, bottles of soda and fruit with just one dollar but now I can't

Because stores now have cameras

Why is it worse this time around?

Thermal cameras mean I can't save anyone by hiding them in my roof.

excuse for being fat...

They say the camera adds 10 pounds... Quit eating cameras damnit

My grandfather always used to say he could go to the candy store and get 10 pounds of candy with a quarter

He can't anymore though, too many cameras.

Police and Security companies are using fake hornets' nests to hide cameras.

So if you see one, yank the SOB down!

shops have changed so much. In my day you could go in with a pound and get a bag of crisp and a magazazine

now days they have cameras

Why don't US presidents like cameras?

They don't like being shot.

Young Boy : Grandpa, tell me a story of your childhood

Old Man : Hmmm...when I was young, I could go to a store with 50 cents and get myself candy, toys, and bread.

YB : wow that must've been fantastic. What about now?

OM : Sigh, times have changed. Nowadays with those darn cameras everywhere in the store, its practically impossible to do so anymore.

I used to go to the flea market with 3 dollars and bring home pants, shirts, a game boy and even an old fancy chair

until they put cameras all over the place

I hate being an adult in times like these, $5 used to get you 12 eggs, a bar of chocolate a massive bag of sweets, milk, a sack of potatoes, a bottle of vodka...

Shame for cameras in stores...

These reversing cameras are great!!

Since i got one I haven't looked back.

How to make Cameras jokes?

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