cameras Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious cameras puns

"Back in the day," my grandfather started to say,

"you could walk into a grocery store with 2 dollars in your pocket, and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs, and a bit of butter as well."

"But today," he continued, "wherever you go - there are cameras."


My grandpa would always tell me...

that when he was growing up, in rural Texas, his momma would give him $1 and send him down to the store. He'd come back with 2 loaves of bread, half a gallon of milk, a carton of eggs, and a pound of pork. He says you can't do that now-a-days, way too many security cameras.


Back in my day you could buy 3 gallons of milk, 2 loafs of bread and 6 dozen eggs all for a single dollar.

Nowadays there's too many fucking security cameras.


I got security cameras fitted outside my house.

Just to convince people that I have stuff worth stealing.


A paranoid man stays at a hotel,

As per habit, he checks every inch of his hotel room looking for mics, cameras or any surveillance device.
Sure enough, right in the centre of the room, under the bed, under the carpet is a small, black metal object firmly bolted to the floor.
He takes out his equipment, detaches the metal object & throws it out the window.
The next morning the hotel manager knocks on his door & asks him,
"Good morning sir, did you have any problems last night?"
"Not at all" the man answered, "why do you ask?"
"Well, it's very strange" said the manager, "but in the room directly below yours, the chandelier suddenly fell down in the middle of the night".


Another bar joke

A man is sitting at the bar drinking a beer. He hears "nice suit". He looks around, but there is nobody near him. He shrugs it off, takes another sip. He hears "nice shoes too!" Startled, he looks around again this time searching for hidden cameras, or a television or some explanation for the voice. Still nothing. A few minutes pass and he forgets about it again going back to his beer. He then hears "you're very handsome". A little unnerved he asks the bartender "man, I don't want to sound strange, but I swear I keep hearing this voice talk to me..." the bartender replies nonchalantly "complimentary peanuts".


What a shit country we live in..

I remember 20years ago, mom would send us with 1$ to the store we would come back with eggs, bread, cheese milk and change..

Today u can't do that anymore, too many secruity cameras


A grandad remembers the good old days

When I was a boy, my mom would send me down to the corner store with $1 and I'd come back with 2 bags of potatoes, 2 loaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk, a large chunk of cheese and 6 eggs.

You can't do that nowadays.

Too many fucking security cameras.


When I was a kid -

My mum used to send me to the corner shop of our street with a ten-bob note, and for that I'd bring back 6 eggs, 2 bottles of milk, a loaf of bread, 5lb of potatoes and a packet of sweets for me. Trouble is, you can't do that today.....

Too many cameras.


TIL that India is installing 15000 CCTV cameras in Delhi for Obama's visit.

This is ridiculous.
Just because he's black doesn't mean he'll steal anything.... When will the world stop this Racist behaviour ?


When I was your age, my mom sent me to the store with a quarter and I came back with a loaf of bread, a bottle of milk, and a newspaper.

But you can't do that anymore because there's too many surveillance cameras.


The Good Old Days!

Grandpa was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in particular to his grandson.

"When I was a kid, my mom could send me to the store, and I'd get a salami, two pints of milk, 6 oranges, 2 loaves o' bread, a magazine, and some new blue jeans... all for a dollar!!

"Grandson, "You can't DO that anymore..... they got those darn video cameras everywhere you look." 


How are condoms like cameras?

They capture your special moments.


Back in my day, I used to take $2 to the store and get a couple cartons of milk, a box of eggs and a few bags of lollies..

Can't do that these days though, too many fuckin security cameras


I accidentally washed my cameras memory card.

Thankfully it still works but now all my images are watermarked.


When I was a kid I could go to a corner store with a $1 and get 2 cokes, 1 kitkat and a gum

Nowadays there are CCTV cameras everywhere


Why do scientists have cameras in the toilet?

They wanna see their pee HD.


Shopping back then

My pop was telling me about how back in the fifties you could get so much more from the shops.

Het tells me "we used to be able to go into grace brothers with ten dollars and come out with two pairs of socks, some new undies, a razor or two and a small bottle of aftershave."

But unfortunately as he tells me, "you can't get that much for ten dollars anymore...there's too many security cameras"


Aaron Paul prefers to stay in character even when the cameras aren't rolling

It's called methead acting


Grandma: "I remember the days when we could walk into a grocery store with a ten dollar bill and come out with a handful of stuff"

Me: "That's cool Grandma. But you can't do it anymore, they've got cameras everywhere"


15000 CCTV Cameras are being installed in Delhi for Obama's visit

just because he is black it does not mean that he will steal anything. bloody racists !


what's the difference between a bunch of cameras and a million dollars?

i haven't hid a million dollars inside your house


When I were a lad my mother would send me down the shops with a pound and I'd come back with teabags, a sack of potatoes, two loaves of bread, three pints of milk, and a dozen eggs. You can't do that nowadays....

...Too many damn security cameras.


They told me that cameras add 10 lbs... I stopped eating cameras.


I heard the camera adds 10 pounds.

Don't eat cameras.


I guess the reason they could never find Matt Lauer is because...

there are no cameras in the girls locker rooms.


Heard that 15,000 CCTV cameras are being installed in Delhi for Obama's visit....This is ridiculous.

Just because he's black doesn't mean he'll steal anything..


Nostalgic grandpa

A grandfather to his grandson: when i was you age id grab $5 and get groceries for the entire week.

The grandson: We can't do that now grandpa..they have cameras installed.


Life was recently discovered on Mars.

NASA had recently sent more cameras to monitor the surface of Mars when they came across a creature that they had never seen before. Due to it's large ears and long tail they decided that this was some new form of feline species. However, upon closer inspection they found that this creature was not moving and in fact had large tire marks across it's back. Based on these findings NASA had but one unfortunate observation to make.

"Curiosity killed the cat"


In the past I could get into a store with a penny and came out with 2 coke cans, 1 bag of chips and some mints, but not anymore...

...the store put cameras today.


What type of cameras do police officers in the USA like?

Point and Shoot


Remembering the good old days...

When I was a boy, my momma would send me down to a corner store with $1, and I'd come back with 5 bags of potatoes, 2 loaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk, a hunk of cheese, a box of tea, and 6 eggs.

You can't do that now.

Too many fuckin' security cameras.


Back in my day...

You could go into a corner store with a dollar and come out with two Cokes, three candy bars, and a magazine.

Now, fucking security cameras everywhere.


I hate speed cameras that tell your exact speed

I always get lost after knowing how fast I'm going


I'm a really photogenic guy.


that's what the speed cameras think.


What are the most funny Cameras jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Cameras? Well, here are the best Cameras dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Cameras pick up lines to share with friends.

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