The Best 80 Camel Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Camel jokes. There are some camel wildebeest jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these camel thirsty camel puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Camel Jokes and Puns

Why are leggings and sand the same?

They both get stuck in camel toe.

How do camels have sex in the desert?

They dry hump.

What do you call a camel with no humps?

Humpfree! :P

Camel joke, What do you call a camel with no humps?

So a man rides his camel through New York...

and leaves it to go to a diner. When he comes back, his camel is missing, so he goes to the police.

The police ask a few questions. "Was the camel male or female?"

The man replies, "I'm not entirely sure- Wait! I remember! It's male it has to be!

"How do you know?"

"Well, when I was riding through town people kept pointing and saying "Look at the shmuck on that camel!"

Why can't they teach drivers ed on the same day as sex ed in Egypt?

Wears out the camel.


3 soccer players, one plays for Manchester United, one for Liverpool and one for Arsenal, are lost in the desert.

They come across a dead camel and are having trouble deciding who gets what? So the guy from Manchester says, well since I'm from ManCHESTer, i'll get the chest. The player from Liverpool goes, well in that case I'll eat the LIVER. Then guy from ARSEnal says...i'm not hungry....

At least he won't annoy his co-workers every week.

What did the mother and father camel name their baby born without a hump?

Humphrey!

Camel joke, At least he won't annoy his co-workers every week.

Yo mama is so fat...

Yo mama is so fat she stubbed her camel toe!

Ethnographic expedition lost in the Sub-Saharan Africa

An Ethnographic expedition lost in the Sub-Saharan Africa. The head of expedition, a prominent Russian scientist, Artem Pizdobolov, have bad news and good news to tell his comrades. First the bad news, he said. We run out of food and water. There left only camel's dung. Tell us a good news fellow travelers asked in desperation. The good new is that we have that camel dung in abundance.

An Arab national is interviewed at the Embassy for a visa:

Consul: Your name please?

Arab: Abu Zina.

Consul: Sex?

Arab: Every day.

Consul: Er, I mean, male or female?

Arab: Don't matter, sometimes even Camel.

Consul: Holy cow!

Arab: Yes, cows and donkey too.

Consul: Isn't that hostile?

Arab: Hosstyle, Dogstyle, any style!.

Consul: Oh dear!

Arab: No deer! run too fast.

Did you hear about the new show about a camel on a cow ranch?

It's been called a dairy drama about a dromedary.

You can explore camel oasis reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean camel camelot dad jokes. There are also camel puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What does a Bactrian camel have in common with a very lazy prostitue?

Humps on the back.

Did you know that camels can last longer without water than sex?

They can go three weeks without water, but can't go a day without a hump.

why are sex ed and drivers ed never on the same day in Iraq ?

the camel would get overworked

Max the camel walks into his parents' room at 2am and asks for a glass of water.

His dad says, "Another one? That's the second glass this month."

Why don't Muslims teach driving and sex ed. on the same day?

They don't want to wear the camel out.

Camel joke, Why don't Muslims teach driving and sex ed. on the same day?

What do you call a frozen camel?

Lost

Why don't they have driving lessons and sex ed on the same day in Saudi Arabia?

They don't want to overwork the camel.

Box of condoms fall onto virgin's lap on the way to the drive-in...

Virgin - "What are these?"
Guy - "Umm.. those..those are cigarette holders!"
Virgin - "Where do you get these cigarette holders?"
Guy - "At the pharmacy."
(The next day the virgin goes to the pharmacy to get herself some cigarette holders)
Pharmacist - "How may I help you?"
Virgin - "I'd like a box of condoms, please."
Pharmacist - "Okay, what size do you need, Miss?"
Virgin - "I'd say big enough for a camel!"


How is a lesbian like a camel?

Their hump has no bone.

So, a one-hump camel marries a two-hump camel, and they have a baby, but the baby didn't have a hump.

So they named him Humphrey.

Why dont they have Drivers Education and Sex Education class on the same day in Iran

Because it would kill the camel

In Iraq why don't they teach drivers ed and sex ed on the same day?

The camel gets too tired.

Do you speak English?

Do you speak English?
-Yes!

Name?

- Abdul al-Rhazib.

Sex?

- Three to five times a week.

No, no... I mean male or female?

- Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.

Holy cow!

- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.

But isn't that hostile?

- Horse style, doggy style, any style!

Oh dear!

- No, no! Deer runs too fast...

GRANDPA'S CONDOMS

An old man finds a condom in his grandson's apartment and asks what it is.

"It's a condom," replies the grandson, sheepishly.

"What do you use it for?" asks Grandpa.

The grandson is embarrassed, so he says, "I use it to keep my cigarettes dry when I smoke in the rain."

Grandpa says, "That's a great idea." He goes to the drug store and asks the pharmacist for a condom.

"What size would you like?" asks the pharmacist.

"Big enough to fit a Camel."

Where would you park your camel?

The Camelot.

PS Booze helped with this and now I'm laughing alone in my apartment

What do you get when you cross a leopard and a camel?

A fireside rug you can get a good hump on.

Source: Jo Brand on QI S3; Cat's Eyes

Why don't they teach Driver's Ed and sex education on the same day in the Middle East?

They don't want to wear out the camel.

What's the difference between a camel and a Russian?

A camel can walk for 30 days without drinking but a Russian can drink for 30 days without walking.

What do you call a camel with no humps???

Humphrey

Did you know that camels aren't indigenous to Australia? They were shipped there by the British.

Oddly enough, so were the Australians.

An old lady pulls out a condom with a cigarette in it

Her friend asks "Why do you do that?"

She replies "Well it has its benefits...it keeps your cigarettes fresher!"

Fascinated, the friend heads down to the local convenience store and asks the clerk "May I have some condoms please?"

The clerk chuckles but then says "Sure m'am, what size?"

"Well, big enough for a camel that's for sure!!"

What do you call an Arab riding a camel with a goat on a leash?

Bisexual.

Why were the camels wearing sandals?

To stop themselves sinking into the sand.
Why did the ostrich stick its head in the sand?
To look at the camels who forgot to put their sandals on.

(nsfw) An arab man goes to the airport to take a flight

- Name?
- Abdul Al Razhib.
- Sex?
- Three to five times a week.
- No, no, I mean: male or female?
- Yes... male, female, sometimes camel.

What do you call a humpless camel covered in plastic?

Llamanated

An Arabian guy at the airport

- name?
- ahmed al-rhazib.
- sex?
- three to five times a week.
- no, no… i mean male or female?
- male, female, sometimes camel.
- holy cow!
- yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- but isn't that hostile?
- horse style, doggy style, any style!
- oh dear!
- no, no! deer run too fast

At an ISIS recruitment centre...

Interviewer: Name?

Recruit: Saaed Bin Hasrat.

Interviewer: Sex?

Recruit: Often twice a day.

Interviewer: No, no. Male or female?

Recruit: Male, female, sometimes camel, mostly sheep.

What do you call a camel that eats another camel?

A camibal

What's a Camel?

A horse designed by committee.

What does a camel do on a pudding?

Walks through the dessert

What do you call a camel that hates cows?

Drama-dairy.

Courtesy of my eight-year-old

A muslim man is riding a camel and his wife is walking

A muslim man is riding a camel through the desert and his wife is walking on foot 10 m in front of him.

Another muslim man notices that and says: Don't you know that Holy book of Qur'an says that wife should always walk behind her husband?

The first muslim answers: when the book of Qur'an was written, there yet were no minefields, so keep walking, my beloved Fatimah!

A reporter goes to the Middle East for an interview.

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"

Man: "Yes!"

Reporter: "Name?"

Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."

Reporter: "Sex?"

Man: "Three to five times a week."

Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"

Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."

Reporter: "Holy cow!"

Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."

Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"

Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."

Reporter: "Oh dear!"

Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

Whats he difference between a camel and a college student?

Camel can go daaaays without drinking.

My girlfriend told me she had never heard of condoms...

I thought she must be pulling my leg so I played along. Oh yeah? I said, They're for covering your cigarettes in the rain.

Well one day we were in a pharmacy and she asked the clerk for a package of condoms. He asked what kind, and she said oh, to fit a camel.

Do you speak english?

- Yes
- Name?
- Abdul bal-Rhasib
- Sex?
- Three to five times a week.
- No, no... I mean male or female?
- Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.
- Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- But isn't it hostile?
- Horse style, doggy style, any style!
- Oh dear!
- No, no! Deer runs too fast.

What do you call a camel with a flat back?

Humphrey

When I was a kid a zookeeper caught me smoking a camel.

I told him I'd kill a giraffe too if he didn't keep his mouth shut.

What do you call a Camel in a drought?

A dry humper.

An arab at the airport

-Name?
-Abduhl al razhib!
-Sex?
-Three to five times a week!
-No, no... I mean male or female?
-Male, female sometimes camel.
-Holy cow!
-Yes, cow, sheep animals in general.
- Oh dear.
-No, no deer run to fast.

Better formatted version Reporter and Man...

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"

Man: "Yes!"

Reporter: "Name?"

Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."

Reporter: "Sex?"

Man: "Three to five times a week."

Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"

Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."

Reporter: "Holy cow!"

Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."

Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"

Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."

Reporter: "Oh dear!"

Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

Why don't ISIS teach Sex Ed and Driver's Ed on the same day?

Too much work for the camel

What do you get when you cross a camel with a polar bear?

A fireside rug you can have a good hump on.

A camel Goes into the coffee shop

The barista, about to add the sugar asks, "one lump or two?"

What do you call a camel with 3 humps?

Pregnant.

An Army Captain is assigned to a remote desert post in Iraq

During inspection, he notices a camel tied up outside the barracks. He asks the soldier, "why is that camel there?"

The soldier says: "There are 250 men here and no women. Sometimes men get urges."

A month later the Captian has urges himself. He puts the ladder behind the camel, drops his trousers and has sex with the camel. He asks the soldier: "Is that how the men do it?"

"No sir, they usually ride it to the brothel!"

What do you call an Arab man who owns both a goat and a camel?

Bisexual

A man lost in the desert with his camel

Every day he gets lonelier and lonelier, when it gets to the point he decides he is going to have sex with his camel, but he couldn't reach, so every day he would try and try again to have sex with his camel standing on hills and on rocks but the camel would just try to run away. until one day, he comes across a beautiful woman, she asks for some water and will give anything in return so he says, can you hold my camel?

An arab at airport

An arab at airport:

\- Name?

\- Abdul Al Razhib.

\- Sex?

\- Three to five times a week.

\- No, no, I mean: male or female?

\- Yes... male, female, sometimes camel.

\- Holly cow!

\- Yes... cow, dog, even sheep.

\- But isn't that hostile?

\- Horse style, doggy style, any style!

\- Oh, dear!

\- No, no... deer run to fast!

I tried riding a camel instead of a horse once.

It had its ups and downs.

My car wouldn't start so I called my favorite middle eastern company to help me

Camel Tow

What kind of sexual act does a Camel like?

Dry Humping

A camel decided to educate his son who he suspected was getting a little insquisitive...

"Why do we have two humps," asked the son.
"That's so we can go for days without water. We can store it in the humps."

"Why do we have very long eyelashes?
"That," he was told, "is to protect the eyes from sand in a sand storm."

"And why do we have bulbous looking feet?"
"That's so we're can travel twice as fast through the desert."

"Dad," asked the young camel, "What the hell are we doing in this zoo?"

What is brown, hairy, lives in the desert, has four legs, two humps, and is full of cement?

A camel - I put in the cement just to make it harder.

A zookeeper called a coworker at home and said they were out of camel food.

The zookeeer at home said, alpaca lunch .

Hump day joke.

A one humped camel married a two humped camel and they had a baby that had no humps. What did they name the child?

Humphrey.

Sketch Artist: [holds up drawing of a single strand of straw]

**Camel *[in a wheelchair, tears in his eyes]*:** that's him

My 5 year olds goto joke: What do you call a camel with 3 humps?

Pregnant.

Camel Joke

A young camel asks his mother
Why do I have a big hump on my back
The mother replies
You use it to store water when your in the desert
That's cool says the young camel And why do I have these big hooves
The mother answers Your hooves stop you from sinking in the quicksand when your in the desert
That's brilliant says the young camel Why do I have such long eyelashes
They stop sand from going into your eyes while wandering the desert his mother explains
The young camel pauses for a moment
Well, why am I in the zoo

What is the best day to eat Camel meat?

Wednesday

What's a camels favourite meal?

Desert.

Can you explain the difference between a noun and a verb?

"Hump" is a noun meaning "something on the back of a camel"... unless that thing is another camel, in which case, it's a verb.

You're welcome.

What's the difference between a camel and your mom?

Only 2 people can ride a camel at a time…

Why Do You Never See Camels Going To School With Cows?

Because they don't want to put up with that drama dairy.

(My wife came up with this, don't hate me.)

A Camel and I walk into a bar.

Camel: Can I get a straw?
Bartender: Sure. Here you go..
Me: Can I get a straw?
Bartender: Sorry, that was the last straw.

*Camel collapses*

A man was crossing the desert with his camel and his dog, when suddenly ..

the camel asked him "are you sure we're heading in the right direction ?"

Freaked out by the talking camel, he ran away, threw himself behind a nearby cactus. The dog freaked out too and followed his master. As he was catching his breath, the dog asked : "what did that asshole say ?"

How do camels learn to mate ?

They read the Llama Sutra.

Alpaca my bags, I think.....

What do you call a camel that looks the same from both directions ?

A palindromedary

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the camel arab camel jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working camel camel toe piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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