The Best 14 Calvin Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Calvin jokes. There are some calvin deklein jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these calvin calvin and hobbes puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Calvin Jokes and Puns

A Calvinist dies and goes to Heaven

He sees two doors. One is labeled free will, and the other is predestination. He walks through the predestination door and an angel asks him why he was here. The Calvanist replies, "I saw this door and decided to walk through it." The angel replies, "You can't be here, you chose this."

Dejected, he goes into the other door. Its angel asks him why he was here.

He replies, "I had no choice"

"What are your dogs names ?"

"Calvin and Klein"

"Like the underwear?"

"They are boxers."

Did you hear about the latest Calvin Klein Lawsuit?

Yeah - but it wasn't much of a suit. It was actually a brief case.

Calvin joke, Did you hear about the latest Calvin Klein Lawsuit?

What do you call a fashion designer that rejects everything?

Calvin Deklein.

Why did Calvin's dad insist that Calvin play D&D?

It builds character

Calvin had a mean teacher.

So when he missed a deadline for an assignment, Calvin begged for an extension.

The teacher said, No, I'm giving you a 0, Calvin.

Calvin replied, You are absolutely cold.

What did the Calvinist say after he fell down the stairs?

"Well, glad I got that over with."

Calvin joke, What did the Calvinist say after he fell down the stairs?

A Calvinist walks into a bar...

...but only if God wills it.

In awkward situations I'll sometimes break out my braille version of Calvin and Hobbes.

You know - comic relief.

President Calvin Coolidge and his wife were being shown separately around an experimental farm

When Mrs. Coolidge came to the chicken yard she noticed that a rooster was mating very frequently. She asked the attendant how often that happened and was told, "Dozens of times each day."

Mrs. Coolidge said, "Tell that to the President when he comes by."

When the President came by the henhouse, the guide dutifully told him what his wife had said.

"Same hen every time?" the President asked.

"Oh, no, Mr. President, a different hen every time."

The President nodded his head. "Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge."

Who's Calvin Klein's Brother?


You can explore calvin buildup reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean calvin evangelical dad jokes. There are also calvin puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What do you call a failing brand?

Calvin DeKlein.

If Calvin Klein goes bankrupt would it be called...

Calvin De Klein?

How do you find Calvin Broadus Jr's darkest secrets?

You Snoop, Dogg.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the calvin candidate jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working calvin zuckerberg piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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