Calvin Jokes
10 calvin jokes and hilarious calvin puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about calvin that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Hilarious Calvin Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What is a good calvin joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A Calvinist dies and goes to Heaven
He sees two doors. One is labeled free will, and the other is predestination. He walks through the predestination door and an angel asks him why he was here. The Calvanist replies, "I saw this door and decided to walk through it." The angel replies, "You can't be here, you chose this."
Dejected, he goes into the other door. Its angel asks him why he was here.
He replies, "I had no choice"
"What are your dogs names ?"
"Calvin and Klein"
"Like the underwear?"
"They are boxers."
Did you hear about the latest Calvin Klein Lawsuit?
Yeah - but it wasn't much of a suit. It was actually a brief case.
What do you call a fashion designer that rejects everything?
Calvin Deklein.
Why did Calvin's dad insist that Calvin play D&D?
It builds character
Calvin had a mean teacher.
So when he missed a deadline for an assignment, Calvin begged for an extension.
The teacher said, No, I'm giving you a 0, Calvin.
Calvin replied, You are absolutely cold.
A Calvinist walks into a bar...
...but only if God wills it.
What did the Calvinist say after he fell down the stairs?
"Well, glad I got that over with."
President Calvin Coolidge and his wife were being shown separately around an experimental farm
When Mrs. Coolidge came to the chicken yard she noticed that a rooster was mating very frequently. She asked the attendant how often that happened and was told, "Dozens of times each day."
Mrs. Coolidge said, "Tell that to the President when he comes by."
When the President came by the henhouse, the guide dutifully told him what his wife had said.
"Same hen every time?" the President asked.
"Oh, no, Mr. President, a different hen every time."
The President nodded his head. "Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge."
In awkward situations I'll sometimes break out my braille version of Calvin and Hobbes.
You know - comic relief.
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