The Best 10 Calorie Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Calorie jokes. There are some calorie nutritional jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these calorie fiber puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Calorie Jokes and Puns

Eating food is a lot of work.

It's the most calorie consuming thing I do all day.

I wonder how many calories women burn by...

... jumping to conclusions.

U.S. vending machines to begin displaying calorie information to encourage smarter snack choices.

Machines' reflective glass surface not doing the trick.

How many calories does going down on your girl provide?

It depends on which way she wipes.


It's not impossible to burn 81500 calories in a day

--Steve (head of the crematory)

Calories are just like the Viet Cong

Even if you burn them, they come back

Calories burned during sex

If the man is ready( same vice-versa).... 1 - 4 calories

If the woman is not( same vice-versa).... 300 - 400 calories.

Your mama's so fat

She should've named you Calorie

In Japan, finding a sumo wrestler means finding someone who's been on a high calorie diet for many years...

In America, there's (at least) one in a Walmart near you!

The FDA still bases Percent Daily Values on a 2,000 calorie diet...

They really need to adjust for inflation.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the calorie nutritionist jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working calorie fats piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes