Callin Jokes
40 callin jokes and hilarious callin puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about callin that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Callin Short Jokes
Short callin jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The callin humour may include short dab jokes also.
- When the "Whose Line is It Anyway" star was publicly derided by a phone guest, it was... A call-in mockery!
- Didja hear that Hershey's is bringing out a new LGBT candy-bar? They're callin it a Lady Bruce.
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Callin One Liners
Which callin one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with callin? I can suggest the ones about tool and .
- What did the harp say when accused of fraud? You callin' me a lyre?
Comical & Quirky Callin Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about callin you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make callin pranks.
Oscar Pistorius' new book deal
I thought I'd share a joke I just heard from a topic on a call-in radio show.
Radio DJ: "Should Oscar Pistorius profit from a book deal about the night he shot his girlfriend?"
Caller: "No he should not. I think you'll find that legally he doesn't have a leg to stand on."
Thank you for calling Planned Parenthood...
Will this be for delivery or take-out?
I'm calling it now: I'm going to discover the cure for blindness and make billions of dollars someday.
You'll all see.
Calling your girlfriend dumbledore cz she is the real head master
Calling someone average is mean
but I think they are the mean
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Who is calling?
The phone rang at the motor pool and an authoritative voice demanded to know how many vehicles were operational.
p**... answered, "We've got twelve trucks, ten utilities, three staff cars and that Bentley the fat-arsed colonel swanks around in."
There was a stony silence for a second or two.
''Do you know who you are speaking to?''
''No,'' said p**....
''It is the so-called fat-arsed colonel you so insubordinately referred to.''
''Well, do you know who you are talking to?'' asked p**...
''No,'' roared the colonel.
''Well thank goodness for that,'' said p**... and hung up the phone.
I tried calling in sick for work today.
Apparently being "sick of work" isn't an illness.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My brother's now ok with me calling him r**....
All I had to do was tell him that 5 of the 6 presidential candidates are r**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
They're calling the internet a drug now.
Don't worry, though. It's not as bad as c**... or h**.... They're calling it a 503 bad gateway drug.
Instead of calling it them locker combinations....
We should call the locker permutations.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Everyone was calling me a p**...
I'm 47 and she's 20, but the people in the restaurant really ruined our tenth anniversary
Thank you for calling the constipation hotline...
Please hold.
Thank you for calling ELVIS Direct
Press 1 for the money
2 for the show
Calling a soft drink '7' is daft
But I suppose we can put up with it
Thank you for calling the anonymous NSA hotline
What would you like to report, Peter?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Calling tech support for s**... advice might not end well.
Turning someone off then on again can ruin your night.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you get for calling a s**... hotline in Iraq?
A job offer
I've tried calling Stephen hawking many times
I keep getting his answering machine
Lately I've been calling all my Wednesdays Bogart.......
Because they've been Humphrey!
Calling somebody short
That's a low blow, don't you think?
I'm calling in sick today because I have an eye problem
I don't see myself coming into work today
Everyone calling Mitch McConnell a turtle really needs to stop...
Turtles are intelligent creatures
"Why do you keep calling David, Dave?"
"Well, it all started when he had his id stolen..."
Hello? I am calling to tell you I love you!
"Sir, I am sorry but I think you got the wrong number. This is a brewery!"
"I Know!"
What do you calling a missing Canadian.
M.I.Eh
I'm calling it now...
Still need a clown for my sons birthday party
So calling Blizzard's new game Diablo Immortal is a little ironic...
considering it died pretty fast.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
They say calling people crazy is like being racist now.
All those people I bit at the mall ought to be ashamed of themselves.
Calling my handwriting chicken-scratch is offensive
To chickens
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Calling a company be like:
Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed. Press 1 for English. To talk to a live person, please enter PI to the 27th digit followed by your 2nd cousin's social security number and the number Ϡ . What was that? Sorry our automated system can't understand you. Please s**... your phone whole so we can listen to your vocal cords easier. You have made an INVALID SELECTION
Thank you for calling the law office of...
Dewey, Chetum, and Hao
Thank you for calling the 2020AD customer support line
All of our natural disasters, plagues, and political upheavals are currently busy. If you are not experiencing a natural disaster, plague, or political upheaval, one will be assigned to you shortly. Please stay on the line, and thank you for choosing 2020.
After calling 5 different home security companies...
....I've decided it's cheaper to get robbed.
Thank you for calling the narcissist hotline.
How can you help me today?
Calling 9-1-1
A guy walks into a bar after a long day of work to relax and have a beer. Unfortunately there is a big group of young men crowded into the bar laughing loudly and carrying on. Finally, in exasperation, the guy calls 9-1-1. "Hello, 911, what is your emergency?" the dispatcher asks. "These men won't stop laughing," the guy complains."Okay that sounds annoying but it's not a crime," the dispatcher says. "Well, what the heck is manslaughter then?" the guy complains.
They keep calling the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial defamation case …
I think there's a typo there.
Calling a friend in Ukraine
Hi, what is going on ?:
Well, Russia is in war with NATO here.
And how does it look like ?
Russia lost a missile cruiser, over 600 tanks, 25000 soldiers.
And NATO ?
Did not arrive yet.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Everyone keeps calling my dog he
I'm like, b**..., please
