Following is our collection of Called jokes which are very funny. There are some called drunk police call jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these called helpline puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
It's where I flip your MOM over
I responded, "How about now?"
Apparently the correct term is "conjoined twins".
"Because your mum loves easter and it's an anagram of easter !"
"Thanks dad !"
"No problem Alan"
It would be like if we called a city "Liver Pool."
A receding heir line...
A reptile dysfunction.
He said, NO!
I told him, She is Bill Gates' daughter.
He said, OK.
I called Bill Gates and said, I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates said, NO.
I told Bill Gates, My son is the CEO of World Bank.
Bill Gates said, OK.
I called the President of World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO.
He said, NO.
I told him, My son is Bill Gates' son-in-law.
He said, OK.
This is how politics works.
They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"
A guy walks into a crowded local bar, holding a pistol in his hand and yelling, I have a 45 caliber pistol here with seven rounds in the barrel plus one in the chamber and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife.
A voice from the other end of the bar called out, You'll need more ammo
You can explore called my so called dog reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean called asked dad jokes. There are also called puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Well, technically it's only a murder if there's probable caws.
"I want you to try to sell this to me."
So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building, and went home.
Eventually he called me and said "Bring my laptop back here right now!"
I said "$200 and it's yours."
Due to the economy, the cost of eating out has gone up.
**Algorithms.**
Girlfriend thought of this while doing dishes earlier.... I could hear her laughing to herself in the other room for almost 10 minutes.
I guess that's why they call me handsome...
black people would rob me
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 90, Please be careful!"
Herman said, "It's not just one car. There's hundreds of them!"
If no one buys it I'm going to kill myself.
It's called 'Facebook'
Completely ruined our 10-year anniversary.
3 people have sex is a three-some
and 2 people have sex is a two-some
Now you know why they call me handsome
You've probably seen our posters.
An 8-year-old choir boy catches the priest masturbating.
He said, "What are you doing father?"
"It's called masturbating," the priest replied. "You'll be doing this soon."
"Why father?" he asked.
"Because my wrist is killing me," the priest replied.
She's just a "waitress" and she was just "doing her job".
Reintarnation
They left me hanging
It's called the Tour de France.
Because "daddy" would be too suspicious
It was called Electronic Arts.
He asks for a coke and a mango juice for his newt Tiny.
The bartender asks Why is he called Tiny?
And the man replies Because he's my newt!
Now I know why people call me handsome
I'd have a mean daily income of $5.64 with a standard deviation of $1.25
I repied, "That's probably why they've received flowers then."
Andy's mother's toys, which coincidentally are called Woody and Buzz too.
Should've called it "the Father-figure"
'Mark has read'.
I don't know but a group of them is called a Senate.
They are willing to pay for the wall now.
She said: "Well, I dreamt of a golden ring with lots of small diamonds."
I asked her: "What do you think it means?"
She smiled and said: "I don't know..."
Flash forward to her birthday, with all our family members at the table, I gave her my present.
I still don't know why she didn't like this book called 'Dreams and their Meanings'.
An American.
A woman went out and did not return home. On the next day she told her husband that she had slept at her friend's house. Not believing her, the husband called 10 of her best friends and none of them knew what he was talking about.
A man went out and did not return home. On the next day, he told his wife he had slept at his friend's house. Not believing him, the wife called 10 of his best friends. 8 of them confirmed that he had spent the night there and the other 2 said he was still there.
One is called a Goodyear, and the other is called a great year.
After the trial he asked the judge "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?" The judge said that was true.
Does this also mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?" the man asked. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action.
With that the man turned to his accuser and said "Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson".
Its when I flip your MOM.
She screams and tries to crawl out of the back seat while I go splooey all over her dress.
My wife said its such an uncommon name.
So i told her back in medievil days people were called Lance a lot
Fast 10 Your Seat Belt.
Because if Speed had direction, it would have been called Velocity.
That sail has shipped.
The Special Horses.
Its called GTFO
He called the SWAT team
Henry was doing maths homework, saying to himself...
"2+5, the son of a bitch is 7"
"3+6, the son of a bitch is 9"
His mother heard this & asked, " Henry ! What is this nonsense you are doing?"
"Oh Mom. Don't disturb. I am doing my maths homework"
Mom: "Is this how your teacher taught you?"
"Yes mom "
Infuriated mother picked up her cell phone and called the teacher:
"Are you teaching maths to children by saying... 2+2, the son of a bitch is 4?"
There was silence for a moment
Then the teacher started laughing :
"What I taught them was... 2+2 THE SUM OF WHICH IS 4."
***
- Hello, is this 911?
- Yes, what is your emergency?
- I called to inform you that you're 910 now.
Would they be called Hyeeta's?
It's called the Sneaky Little Fokker.
They shot me down :(
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the called hardcore jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working called popular piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.