Following is our collection of my so called dog humor and drunk police call one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Called puns for adults, dirty asked jokes or clean helpline gags for kids.
There is an abundance of hardcore jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 53 funniest jokes on called. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any popular witze you can hear about called.
An American.
'Mark has read'.
It's where I flip your MOM over
I responded, "How about now?"
Apparently the correct term is "conjoined twins".
"Because your mum loves easter and it's an anagram of easter !"
"Thanks dad !"
"No problem Alan"
It would be like if we called a city "Liver Pool."
A receding heir line...
A reptile dysfunction.
He said, NO!
I told him, She is Bill Gates' daughter.
He said, OK.
I called Bill Gates and said, I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates said, NO.
I told Bill Gates, My son is the CEO of World Bank.
Bill Gates said, OK.
I called the President of World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO.
He said, NO.
I told him, My son is Bill Gates' son-in-law.
He said, OK.
This is how politics works.
They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"
A guy walks into a crowded local bar, holding a pistol in his hand and yelling, I have a 45 caliber pistol here with seven rounds in the barrel plus one in the chamber and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife.
A voice from the other end of the bar called out, You'll need more ammo
Well, technically it's only a murder if there's probable caws.
"I want you to try to sell this to me."
So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building, and went home.
Eventually he called me and said "Bring my laptop back here right now!"
I said "$200 and it's yours."
A woman went out and did not return home. On the next day she told her husband that she had slept at her friend's house. Not believing her, the husband called 10 of her best friends and none of them knew what he was talking about.
A man went out and did not return home. On the next day, he told his wife he had slept at his friend's house. Not believing him, the wife called 10 of his best friends. 8 of them confirmed that he had spent the night there and the other 2 said he was still there.
Fast 10 Your Seat Belt.
Due to the economy, the cost of eating out has gone up.
Andy's mother's toys, which coincidentally are called Woody and Buzz too.
I'd have a mean daily income of $5.64 with a standard deviation of $1.25
She said: "Well, I dreamt of a golden ring with lots of small diamonds."
I asked her: "What do you think it means?"
She smiled and said: "I don't know..."
Flash forward to her birthday, with all our family members at the table, I gave her my present.
I still don't know why she didn't like this book called 'Dreams and their Meanings'.
Reintarnation
She screams and tries to crawl out of the back seat while I go splooey all over her dress.
Now I know why people call me handsome
I repied, "That's probably why they've received flowers then."
They left me hanging
Because "daddy" would be too suspicious
Its when I flip your MOM.
An 8-year-old choir boy catches the priest masturbating.
He said, "What are you doing father?"
"It's called masturbating," the priest replied. "You'll be doing this soon."
"Why father?" he asked.
"Because my wrist is killing me," the priest replied.
You've probably seen our posters.
I don't know but a group of them is called a Senate.
Should've called it "the Father-figure"
They are willing to pay for the wall now.
It was called Electronic Arts.
It's called the Tour de France.
black people would rob me
My wife said its such an uncommon name.
So i told her back in medievil days people were called Lance a lot
She's just a "waitress" and she was just "doing her job".
It's called 'Facebook'
Completely ruined our 10-year anniversary.
If no one buys it I'm going to kill myself.
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 90, Please be careful!"
Herman said, "It's not just one car. There's hundreds of them!"
3 people have sex is a three-some
and 2 people have sex is a two-some
Now you know why they call me handsome
**Algorithms.**
Girlfriend thought of this while doing dishes earlier.... I could hear her laughing to herself in the other room for almost 10 minutes.
After the trial he asked the judge "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?" The judge said that was true.
Does this also mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?" the man asked. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action.
With that the man turned to his accuser and said "Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson".
I guess that's why they call me handsome...
He asks for a coke and a mango juice for his newt Tiny.
The bartender asks Why is he called Tiny?
And the man replies Because he's my newt!
otherwise it would have been called the teethbrush.
Got a call centre in Afghanistan, and told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck...
"Because we conceived her in Paris."
"Ahh, thanks Dad! "
"You're welcome, Backseat."
It's where I turn your mom upside down.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.