'Mark has read'.
It's where I flip your MOM over
I responded, "How about now?"
Apparently the correct term is "conjoined twins".
"Because your mum loves easter and it's an anagram of easter !"
"Thanks dad !"
"No problem Alan"
It would be like if we called a city "Liver Pool."
A receding heir line...
A reptile dysfunction.
He said, NO!
I told him, She is Bill Gates' daughter.
He said, OK.
I called Bill Gates and said, I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates said, NO.
I told Bill Gates, My son is the CEO of World Bank.
Bill Gates said, OK.
I called the President of World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO.
He said, NO.
I told him, My son is Bill Gates' son-in-law.
He said, OK.
This is how politics works.
They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"
A guy walks into a crowded local bar, holding a pistol in his hand and yelling, I have a 45 caliber pistol here with seven rounds in the barrel plus one in the chamber and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife.
A voice from the other end of the bar called out, You'll need more ammo
Well, technically it's only a murder if there's probable caws.
"I want you to try to sell this to me."
So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building, and went home.
Eventually he called me and said "Bring my laptop back here right now!"
I said "$200 and it's yours."
Due to the economy, the cost of eating out has gone up.
Andy's mother's toys, which coincidentally are called Woody and Buzz too.
"How is she?" I asked
"Very critical," replied the officer
"The fuck is she complaining about now?"
I'd have a mean daily income of $5.64 with a standard deviation of $1.25
Reintarnation
Now I know why people call me handsome
Friend :"ok, shoot."
Me: " what has a tiny penis, and hangs down?"
Friend: " I dunno, what?"
Me: " A bat... now, what has an enormous penis and hangs up?"
Friend" I dunno what?"
*click*
I repied, "That's probably why they've received flowers then."
They left me hanging
Because "daddy" would be too suspicious
An 8-year-old choir boy catches the priest masturbating.
He said, "What are you doing father?"
"It's called masturbating," the priest replied. "You'll be doing this soon."
"Why father?" he asked.
"Because my wrist is killing me," the priest replied.
You've probably seen our posters.
Should've called it "the Father-figure"
It's where you ejaculate inside of an anus. i.e. create 6 million lives in a gas chamber.
A kid answered, called me a cunt then hung up.
It was called Electronic Arts.
It's called the Tour de France.
black people would rob me
when the door-bell rang.
"It's the blind man" he called.
That's ok, she thought so she quickly ran downstairs naked to open the door.
"Nice tits" he said. "Now, where do you want those blinds?"
So I hit her, because no one can call my mom a bitch.
Then I hit myself, because no one can hit my mum.
Then she hit me, because no one can hit her son.
And then she hit herself, because NO ONE can hit her son.
Then I hit her. because no one can hit my mum.
I hope we'll solve this when father gets home...
She's just a "waitress" and she was just "doing her job".
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