Following is our collection of funny Called jokes. There are some called drunk police call jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these called your mom called puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
It's where I flip your MOM over
I responded, "How about now?"
Apparently the correct term is "conjoined twins".
"Because your mum loves easter and it's an anagram of easter !"
"Thanks dad !"
"No problem Alan"
It would be like if we called a city "Liver Pool."
A receding heir line...
A reptile dysfunction.
He said, NO!
I told him, She is Bill Gates' daughter.
He said, OK.
I called Bill Gates and said, I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates said, NO.
I told Bill Gates, My son is the CEO of World Bank.
Bill Gates said, OK.
I called the President of World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO.
He said, NO.
I told him, My son is Bill Gates' son-in-law.
He said, OK.
This is how politics works.
They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"
A guy walks into a crowded local bar, holding a pistol in his hand and yelling, I have a 45 caliber pistol here with seven rounds in the barrel plus one in the chamber and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife.
A voice from the other end of the bar called out, You'll need more ammo
You can explore called my so called dog reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean called asked dad jokes. There are also called puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Well, technically it's only a murder if there's probable caws.
"I want you to try to sell this to me."
So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building, and went home.
Eventually he called me and said "Bring my laptop back here right now!"
I said "$200 and it's yours."
Due to the economy, the cost of eating out has gone up.
black people would rob me
If no one buys it I'm going to kill myself.
It's called 'Facebook'
Completely ruined our 10-year anniversary.
You've probably seen our posters.
An 8-year-old choir boy catches the priest masturbating.
He said, "What are you doing father?"
"It's called masturbating," the priest replied. "You'll be doing this soon."
"Why father?" he asked.
"Because my wrist is killing me," the priest replied.
She's just a "waitress" and she was just "doing her job".
Reintarnation
They left me hanging
It's called the Tour de France.
Because "daddy" would be too suspicious
It was called Electronic Arts.
Now I know why people call me handsome
I'd have a mean daily income of $5.64 with a standard deviation of $1.25
I repied, "That's probably why they've received flowers then."
Andy's mother's toys, which coincidentally are called Woody and Buzz too.
Should've called it "the Father-figure"
'Mark has read'.
I don't know but a group of them is called a Senate.
They are willing to pay for the wall now.
She said: "Well, I dreamt of a golden ring with lots of small diamonds."
I asked her: "What do you think it means?"
She smiled and said: "I don't know..."
Flash forward to her birthday, with all our family members at the table, I gave her my present.
I still don't know why she didn't like this book called 'Dreams and their Meanings'.
An American.
A woman went out and did not return home. On the next day she told her husband that she had slept at her friend's house. Not believing her, the husband called 10 of her best friends and none of them knew what he was talking about.
A man went out and did not return home. On the next day, he told his wife he had slept at his friend's house. Not believing him, the wife called 10 of his best friends. 8 of them confirmed that he had spent the night there and the other 2 said he was still there.
One is called a Goodyear, and the other is called a great year.
Its when I flip your MOM.
She screams and tries to crawl out of the back seat while I go splooey all over her dress.
My wife said its such an uncommon name.
So i told her back in medievil days people were called Lance a lot
Fast 10 Your Seat Belt.
Because if Speed had direction, it would have been called Velocity.
That sail has shipped.
Henry was doing maths homework, saying to himself...
"2+5, the son of a bitch is 7"
"3+6, the son of a bitch is 9"
His mother heard this & asked, " Henry ! What is this nonsense you are doing?"
"Oh Mom. Don't disturb. I am doing my maths homework"
Mom: "Is this how your teacher taught you?"
"Yes mom "
Infuriated mother picked up her cell phone and called the teacher:
"Are you teaching maths to children by saying... 2+2, the son of a bitch is 4?"
There was silence for a moment
Then the teacher started laughing :
"What I taught them was... 2+2 THE SUM OF WHICH IS 4."
***
It's called gluten tag.
The man is found guilty and made to pay damages. After the trial, he asks the judge, Does this mean that I can no longer call Ms. Harding a pig?
The judge says, That is correct.
And does it mean that I can't call a pig Ms. Harding?
No, says the judge, you are free to call a pig Ms. Harding. There is no crime in that.
The man looks Ms. Harding in the eye and says, Good afternoon, Ms. Harding.
He's the new temp.
Later I saw him at church giving a speech about how everyone needs a Middle Eastern guy with long hair and a beard in their lives.
So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building and went home.
Eventually, he called me on my phone and said, "Bring it back here right now!"
I replied, "Β£100 and it's yours."
We were so close to our first GIG
(edited - XXXX MB is 1 GB. Its a binary joke and yes, it makes sense)
(edit 2 - KiB, MiB and GiB can toss it, 1111111111 )
I was right. I was playing the B-side.
My 7 year old daughter was getting ready for bed and was looking for her iPad. Dad, can you call my iPad? She asked me. I was ready for this moment. Without hesitation I replied what do you want me to call it? She looked at me blankly. Noβ¦call my iPad she protested. I cupped my hand to my mouth and bellowed Emily's iPad over and over. She finally caught on and we shared a laugh. I called her iPad on my phone, it rang in the other room.
They go undercover
It's called Cole's law.
"MOR-MEN"
He called it Kohl's Law.
He said **"A knee? Are you OK?"**
It was called "The Third Streich".
He said "Dad couldn't you have given me a better name than Video ?"
The clerk asked, "2:30?"
I replied, "Yes very much."
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the called helpline jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working called someone called piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.