Following is our collection of funny Call Of Duty jokes. There are some call of duty dialed jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these call of duty hotline puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
His mother walks in. "Honey, come meet my new boyfriend!"
"I'm kind of busy right now. Can you bring him in here instead?"
A minute or so later, her boyfriend walks in. "Hey, champ! How you doing?"
The kid ignores him.
"Don't like champ, huh? That's fine. How about BlueDragon72?"
The kid turns his head quickly. "I haven't heard that name since I was ten..." He then realized. "It can't be.."
"Call of Duty, right? I told you I'd bang your mom."
0 Kills
0 Assist
7 Deaths
But for some reason, I can only be a spectator.
They call it the Sims
Note: this technically a repost
Because nobody liked it on earth.
Call of duty has been released in Iraq and Afgahnistan as "The Sims."
One day he receives a text message from the boss. "I've been having problems with my wife. Please pull the plug and then call someone in to take care of the matter."
The man knows better than to question the Godfather, so he dutifully carries out the command. He shoots the boss's wife, and then calls in the clean up crew.
But a short while later, he receives another message. "Stupid autocorrect. I meant wifi."
And yet in the new Call of Duty they're giving us Nazis to shoot again.
And killed someone in Battlefield
The Sims
... because each game is made from 90% recycled material.
You can explore call of duty emergency services reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean call of duty 911 dad jokes. There are also call of duty puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
They call it "The Sims".
everyone's gay, and there's a lot of camping.
0 - Kills
0 - Assists
7 - Deaths
A soviet soldier called out for the man to halt but the man started running, so the soldier shot him. The other soldier on duty asks the former, "Why'd you do that?"
"Why it's curfew," the soldier said.
"Well it's not curfew yet!" his partner said.
"I know- he's a friend of mine. I know where he lives and he couldn't have made it in time."
A doctor has some trouble with the sink, on a public holiday. He calls the local plumber, only to be told it's his day off.
"But I get called out on my days off, too!" says the doctor, somewhat exasperated, and the plumber relents.
The plumber arrives, and glances over the sink, looking preoccupied. He mumbles something about golf, then hands the doctor a couple of aspirin and walks out, saying,
"Put these in. If it doesn't clear up in 24 hours, come and see me tomorrow."
The three that make Call of Duty; They've recycled their ONLY GAME, every year for the past 7 years.
A young boy is sitting and talking with his grandpa. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, you ever play Call of Duty?" The grandfather looks at the boy and replies, "Every morning when I wake up."
...and yet, he still has a better KDR than me.
Sledgehammer Games rented servers from the 1940s to replicate WWII as accurately as possible
They're renaming the game to The Sims 5.
If team kills counted twords the "nuke" scorestreak
Didgereedooty
White people play Call of Duty, then go to school and try to go on a 25-kill streak.
Duty Free
... Joke's on him. I have two dads.
"Thank you for your cervix!"
I call her Aunty Psychotic.
My son playing Call of Duty
Because it takes him 3 days to respawn.
A midwife crisis
At least we will finally get some more decent Call of Duty Games.
It's a silver lining in the clouds.
The worst part is I found out in the most blunt way possible. I was playing Call of Duty when I was informed by another player that he had carnal relations with my mother. The worst part is he sounded so young.
They're practically non existent.
They're really D-Pressing!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the call of duty phone calls jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working call of duty duty protect piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.