The Best 35 Call Of Duty Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Call Of Duty jokes. There are some call of duty dialed jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these call of duty hotline puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Call Of Duty Jokes and Puns

A kid is playing video games in his room, minding his own business.

His mother walks in. "Honey, come meet my new boyfriend!"

"I'm kind of busy right now. Can you bring him in here instead?"

A minute or so later, her boyfriend walks in. "Hey, champ! How you doing?"

The kid ignores him.

"Don't like champ, huh? That's fine. How about BlueDragon72?"

The kid turns his head quickly. "I haven't heard that name since I was ten..." He then realized. "It can't be.."

"Call of Duty, right? I told you I'd bang your mom."

My friends call me 007 when i play call of duty with them.

0 Kills

0 Assist

7 Deaths

I bought the new Call of Duty WWII in France.

But for some reason, I can only be a spectator.

The new Call of Duty just got released in Iraq

They call it the Sims

Note: this technically a repost

Why is call of duty infinite warfare set in space?

Because nobody liked it on earth.


Did you know?

Call of duty has been released in Iraq and Afgahnistan as "The Sims."

A man joins the mob and becomes the personal assistant to the Godfather

One day he receives a text message from the boss. "I've been having problems with my wife. Please pull the plug and then call someone in to take care of the matter."

The man knows better than to question the Godfather, so he dutifully carries out the command. He shoots the boss's wife, and then calls in the clean up crew.

But a short while later, he receives another message. "Stupid autocorrect. I meant wifi."

I really thought Activision understood that we're sick of modern-day shooters.

And yet in the new Call of Duty they're giving us Nazis to shoot again.

Once Chuck Norris threw a knife in Call of Duty

And killed someone in Battlefield

What is Call of Duty called in Afghanistan?

The Sims

Call of Duty is the most environmentally friendly video game franchise.

... because each game is made from 90% recycled material.

You can explore call of duty emergency services reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean call of duty 911 dad jokes. There are also call of duty puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I heard that ' Call of Duty' has a different name in the Middle East.

They call it "The Sims".

Call of Duty is like the Boy Scouts,

everyone's gay, and there's a lot of camping.

My friend calls me James Bonds while I play Call Of Duty....

0 - Kills

0 - Assists

7 - Deaths

A man was walking down a street in Moscow at night

A soviet soldier called out for the man to halt but the man started running, so the soldier shot him. The other soldier on duty asks the former, "Why'd you do that?"

"Why it's curfew," the soldier said.

"Well it's not curfew yet!" his partner said.

"I know- he's a friend of mine. I know where he lives and he couldn't have made it in time."

Always on duty

A doctor has some trouble with the sink, on a public holiday. He calls the local plumber, only to be told it's his day off.

"But I get called out on my days off, too!" says the doctor, somewhat exasperated, and the plumber relents.

The plumber arrives, and glances over the sink, looking preoccupied. He mumbles something about golf, then hands the doctor a couple of aspirin and walks out, saying,

"Put these in. If it doesn't clear up in 24 hours, come and see me tomorrow."

What is the most environmentally friendly game company?

The three that make Call of Duty; They've recycled their ONLY GAME, every year for the past 7 years.

Young boy and his grandpa

A young boy is sitting and talking with his grandpa. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, you ever play Call of Duty?" The grandfather looks at the boy and replies, "Every morning when I wake up."

Adolf Hitler has never touched Call of Duty...

...and yet, he still has a better KDR than me.


Did you hear about how realistic Call of Duty: WWII is?

Sledgehammer Games rented servers from the 1940s to replicate WWII as accurately as possible

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is getting released for the second time in Iraq.

They're renaming the game to The Sims 5.

Kim Jong un would be great at call of duty

If team kills counted twords the "nuke" scorestreak

What do they call Jury Duty in Australia?

Didgereedooty

Black people play 2k, then go to them gym and start trying to be like Kobe.

White people play Call of Duty, then go to school and try to go on a 25-kill streak.

What do you call a baby who just got his diaper changed inside an airport?

Duty Free

This guy on Call of Duty said he was going to own me just like he owned my mom last night...

... Joke's on him. I have two dads.

U.S male active duty and veterans...on this special day, make sure to call up all your old flames, current lovers. Wives and girlfriends as well as any others who helped you out during long deployments and say.....

"Thank you for your cervix!"

My mother's sister is on heavy duty medication for schizophrenia.

I call her Aunty Psychotic.

What can be smelt and heard from twenty miles away?

My son playing Call of Duty

Why does Jesus suck at Call of Duty?

Because it takes him 3 days to respawn.

What's it called when the person delivering your baby suddenly becomes squeamish and can no longer fulfill his/her duties?

A midwife crisis

If World War 3 happens...

At least we will finally get some more decent Call of Duty Games.

It's a silver lining in the clouds.

I just found out my mom had an affair.

The worst part is I found out in the most blunt way possible. I was playing Call of Duty when I was informed by another player that he had carnal relations with my mother. The worst part is he sounded so young.

What is similar between the life of an Ethiopian kid and the hype of Call Of Duty: Infinite Warfare?

They're practically non existent.

Recently I've been watching videos of people running sideways in Call of Duty...

They're really D-Pressing!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the call of duty phone calls jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working call of duty duty protect piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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