The Best 35 Call Me Maybe Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Call Me Maybe jokes. There are some call me maybe emergency services jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these call me maybe phone number puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Call Me Maybe Jokes and Puns

They should have a follow-up to the G7 summit a week later.

They could call it the the C Major summit. Maybe that would resolve everything.

No one laughed at my joke I made in school so maybe you guys will like it

What do you call an english teacher who knows how to code

A pro-grammar

I (maybe?) came up with this joke today. What do you call a lost caveman?

A meanderthal.

Marriage

Husband asking the wife:
-Darling, do you want to come with me to the gym?
*-Are you saying I'm fat??*
-No, I was just thinking that we should maybe...
*-Are you saying I'm lazy??*
-No, no! Calm down, I didn't say that..
*-Why, you think I'm hysterical??*
-No, I wasn't saying that..
*-So you are calling me a liar now??*
-God no! You know what, I go alone then.
*-Wait a minute! Why do you want to go alone!?*

What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind?

A Maybe.


Best Joke in the history of jokes, maybe ever

2 guys are hunting in the woods. The first guy faints and stops breathing. The second guy calls 911 and they say "911, what's your emergency?".

The guy says "My friend and I were hunting in the woods and he fainted. I think he's dead."

The 911 operator responds "First make sure that he is dead before anything"

A loud shot is heard. The guy then says "Ok, what do I do next"

The Testicular Cancer Clinic called me and said, Did you get our email? I said No .

They said, Maybe you should check your junk.

Dating in 1962

It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1962 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue.
He arrived at her house and rang the bell.

"Oh, come on in!" Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in.
"Have a seat in the living room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Iced tea?"

"Iced tea, please," Fred said. Mom brought the iced tea.

"So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?" she asked.

"Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop,
maybe take a walk on the beach..."

"Peggy likes to screw, you know," Mom informed him.

"Uh...really?" Fred replied, with raised eyebrows.

"Oh, yes!" the mother continued. "When she goes out with her friends, that's all they do!"

"Is that so?" asked Fred, incredulous.

"Yes," said the mother. "As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!"

"Well, thanks for the tip," Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.

A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture wearing a pink blouse
and full circle skirt, and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail. She greeted Fred.

"Have fun, kids," the mother said as they left.

Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house
and slammed the front door behind her.

"The Twist, Mom!" she angrily yelled at her mother. "The damned dance is called the Twist!

We should start calling the planet "unborn baby"

maybe then republicans would want to save it.

My wife was inhaling popcorn and nearly choked to death on an un-popped kernel.

I almost had to call the popcoroner.

(Real life: my wife really was eating popcorn with no breathing in between and I said maybe slow down so you don't choke on that. I don't want to have to call the pop coroner , and she abruptly started laughing and, I swear, choked on some (non-fatal). So I decided to present my ad-lib here, as a joke. At least I (and you) can be sure it's no repost!)

A man walks into a talent agency with his dog claiming it can talk. The agent says, ok, let's see if this dog is gonna make us rich . The guy says, Fido, what's the top of a house called ? Roof! What's on a tree ? Bark! How does sandpaper feel ? Ruff!

The talent agent tells the man off and kicks him out of his office. As the man and the dog are walking down the street the dog looks up at the man and says, Gee Bob, maybe you should have asked some harder questions .

You can explore call me maybe voicemail reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean call me maybe hotline dad jokes. There are also call me maybe puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Two Americans were trekking in a desert.

Dehydrated and hungry, they walked into a mosque.
The Imam asked for their names.
Mark thought: Maybe it's wiser to pretend to be a Muslim. So he replied: My name is Ahmed.
Sam said: My name is Sam.
The Imam called his servant over, who handed Sam some food and water.
He then turned to Mark and said: Happy Ramadan, brother Ahmed.

Raise your hand if you've been caught masturbating on a Zoom call.

Maybe you should have raised the other hand.

I saw two black kids spraying their names on a wall today.

I decided to join them. I'd only sprayed the first three letters of my name when they started to beat me up.

Maybe they don't like people called Nigel.

The blinds store

So there's this store down the street called "Bailey's Blinds", and I can't help but wonder that it must be a front for some sort of illegal activity. Money laundering, perhaps? Or maybe it's an incognito hub for illicit products of some nature. I mean, how can a business possibly function for over 15 years while consistently profitable, by selling nothing but blinds? ...It's a shady business if you ask me.

If Juwan Howard needed to slap someone for calling a dumb timeout

Maybe he should have started with Chris Webber

A guy is sitting in the living room with his wife when the phone rings.

He picks it up, listens for a moment then says, "I don't know, maybe you should call the coast guard." "Who was that?," his wife asks when he hangs up.. "I'm not sure but they wanted to know if the coast is clear."

Could be taken as racist, or insecure (maybe both)

What do you call a immigrant fighting a rapist. "Alien versus predator"

Plumber Miscommunication

One day, a family started hearing loud talking coming from underneath the ground in their backyard. They figured maybe the plumber who did some work yesterday left a radio down there.

They sat and listened to the talking, then realized it was mostly about climate change and UFO's.

They called the plumber to ask about his missing radio.

Radio? I didn't bring a radio. Oh, I see the problem. I installed a skeptic tank instead of a septic tank.


What do you call a bee born in May?

Maybe

What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind?

A Maybe



....Ba Dum Tss

Have you heard of Apple's version of the Google Glass?

It's called the iBrowse.



I think this is OC but maybe it was stored in the back of my mind idk

Lovingly slow-cooked over an open flame...

...I served a female deer with herbs to my family at a recent dinner party.

Calling it "Spit-Roasted Dill Doe" was maybe a little unwise.

A man walks into a bar...

... sits on the bar stool and lets out a deep sigh.

The bartender notices asks "What the problem Joe?"

The replies "My wife is upset. She told me I dont complement her enough. I told her shes a simple woman but apparently she heard that before."

"Hey Joe, I got a thesaurus over there. Maybe you could surprise her."

"All right Bob thanks!"

The next day the man is back at the bar, sits on the bar stool, and lets out a deeper sigh.

Before the bartender could ask, the man exclaims "I guess calling her a basic bitch isnt the same as a simple woman."

I bought my first brand new iPhone and I was so excited

My friends had been telling me how much they love their's but mine's been nothing but trouble from WiFi problems to dropped calls to rebooting out of nowhere. I'm starting to think my friends lied to me or maybe I just got a bad apple.

Call Me Maybe.

Me: Alright, Maybe. But that's a strange name.

Maybe: Not really-- my parents chose it before I was born, when they were considering an abortion.

So you know the show Say Yes To The Dress

There should be a show about women deciding whether or not to get an abortion called "Say Maybe To The Baby"

I tried to call the president of Russia, but he was away from his desk.

He was probably taking a leak, or maybe he was Putin.

I think with the recent success of Elon musk's not a flamethrower sales he should consider moving into a different market maybe perfumes

He could call his first brand Elon's musk

How do you call an indecisive bee?

A maybe

Bit of a different post here - an author introduces a joke but never reveals the punchline...anyone heard this joke? Or make up your own punchline?

In *Infinite Jest* by David Foster Wallace, at one point there's a line -

"...asking Mario if he knows what you call three Canadians copulating on a snowmobile."

But he doesn't say the punchline. I'm assuming maybe this is a commonish kinda joke? I've tried to think of what the punchline is but can't.

So my girlfriend told me her dog ate some tampons...

I told her to call the vet, maybe they can pull some strings.

Maybe a bit dark

Two friends go hunting, one of them passes out, and doesn't seem to be breathing. The other friend quickly calls 911. Help! he says. I think my friend is dead! . Calm down, the operator says. First, let's make sure he's dead . A gunshot is heard over the phone. Okay, the friend says. Now what?

At a Barrack, the commander calls the captain: "Take as many soldiers you need and start building additional toilets. The number of the people in need has increased!"

"I would suggest, sir, instead of building more toilets, maybe we should hire a new cook!"

Here's my number , so call me maybe

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Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the call me maybe phone calls jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working call me maybe callers piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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