Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include Call puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.
A Flossiraptor
Call a girl fat once and she'll always remember.
Because elephants never forget
I responded, "How about now?"
A chicken.
Apparently the correct term is "conjoined twins".
It's stupid. You don't hear medical students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves baristas.
A lyft. Friends don't let friends drive drunk.
A Sandy Eggo.
- Compliments of my cousin's 6 year old daughter (She says "Hi" by the way).
-
Micro trans-action
Self Harmony
A father in law
A receding heir line...
A reptile dysfunction.
Brothel sprouts
But in reality it's because I want someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle
He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.
A Transplant
We now call him Dr. Awkward.
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Yo momma.
Boss says Problem? No such thing, we call it an opportunity!
Man says Ok I have a serious drinking opportunity.
They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Malnourished.
I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"
"Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad."
He scratched his head. "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"
Hello, is that Mr Jenkins?
Yes, how can I help you?
Hi, This is little Billy's music teacher calling
Oh, hi
Yeah, hi. I just wanted to let you know it looks like you have a little Elvis Presley on your hands!
Really? Wow! That's..
Yeah, we just found him dead on the toilet
I prefer to call it 'changing my ringtone'.
and not joint custody?
and ordered a drink.
Its a pleasure to serve you, Mr Hasselhoff, said the bartender.
Just call me Hoff, the actor replied.
Sure, the bartender said, no hassle.
Several days go by, and he receives a call from the doctor.
The doctor tells him, Due to an unfortunate mixup with the lab, we are not sure of your wife has Covid-19 or Alzheimer'
The man, clearly frustrated, asks, Well what am I supposed to do with that kind of information?
The doctor calmly suggests, I recommend you take her for a very long walk and leave her. If she comes home, don't let her in.
A receding hare line.
or texts me, I'm so lonely, pls help.
No Whey JosΓ©.
I forgot to bring my phone, so I used my friend's phone to call her.
She answered: "What's up, honey?"
What a smart girl! She knew I was the one on the phone!
An old Jew is on his deathbed. With weak voice he asks to call for a partorg because before his death he wants to join the Communist Party. A happy partorg rushes to him with filled out membership form to sign and a ready Party membership card. As the Jew signs the form he carefully takes the membership card and presses it against his heart.
In a peaceful and happy voice he whispers: "Today one more communist will die"
Reintarnation
The four men are all on a zoom call with their boss. Their boss asks Can you see me? and they respond
Yes
Oui
Si
Ja
Should we call them Vanilla Isis ?
Now I know why people call me handsome
2 days later he gets a call from the lab.
Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you sir that your wife's test results have been mixed up with another patient's. We're not sure if she has COVID-19 or Alzheimer's disease.
Man: So what am I supposed to do now?!
Doctor: I'd recommend taking her for a long walk and leaving her, if she finds her way back home, don't open the door.
Mississippi
A WeedWhacker (sorry if it's awful first time on this sub)
Friends.
The biggest winner is Melania Trump. She can now call herself The First Lady instead of The Third Wife.
A Dick-hater-ship.
FeyΓ³nce
They left me hanging
Molasses
Me: Won't that confuse people who are trying to call us?
"Which doctor?", she replied.
"No, the regular kind."
A seasoned veteran
A midget spinner.
An ambulance you racist.
A widow.
A Οthon
A Goodyear
Relative humidity.
God said,
"I think I'm going to call it a day."
A Marxman.
Prime mates.
Mom: "I told you not to call me mom in public."
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.