Call Jokes
173 call jokes and hilarious call puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about call that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Bring back the classic prank call with these favorite jokes! Whether you're looking for something to make your caller laugh or a novel way to prank your friends, this article has something for you. Check it out now and find the perfect phone call joke to make your day!
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Funniest Call Short Jokes
Short call jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The call humour may include short phone jokes also.
- If Facebook buys Gmail, instead of 'mark as read' the feature will be called, 'Mark has read'.
- What do you call a mac 'n' cheese that gets all up in your face? Too close for comfort food!
- Call a girl beautiful 1,000 time and she won't think twice... Call a girl fat once and she'll always remember.
Because elephants never forget - I called two girls hipsters and got slapped. Apparently the correct term is "conjoined twins".
- What do you call a drunk guy trying to start his car? A lyft. Friends don't let friends drive drunk.
- My friend gets really upset when I call him a flat-Earther He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.
- My nerdy friend just got a phd on the history of palindromes. We now call him Dr. Awkward.
- Man says to his boss Can we talk? I have a problem. Boss says Problem? No such thing, we call it an opportunity!
Man says Ok I have a serious drinking opportunity. - I called work this morning and whispered, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today. I have a wee cough." He exclaimed, "You have a wee cough!?" I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"
- TIL in germany when someone is diagnosed with coeliac disease other coeliacs will chase and try and hit them with bread to make them feel welcomed. It's called gluten tag.
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Call One Liners
Which call one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with call? I can suggest the ones about telephone and console.
- What is a Karen called in Europe? An American.
- What do you call a dinosaur that takes care of its teeth? A Flossiraptor
- What do you call a chicken that's afraid of the dark? A chicken.
- What do you call a waffle on a California beach? A Sandy Eggo.
- What do you call an emo a capella group? Self Harmony
- What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father in law
- What's it called when a King and Queen have no children? A receding heir line...
- What's it called when a chameleon can't change its colors anymore? A reptile dysfunction.
- Guess who woke up with 20 missed calls from his ex? My ex.
- What do you call Andrew Tate in a Romanian prison? In-cell
- The 10th Fast and Furious film should be called.... Fast 10 Your Seat Belt.
- What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line.
- What do you call a hippies' wife? Mississippi
- If men call short women petite. What do women call short men? Friends.
- What do you call a thief who keeps the things he stole on public display? British
Phone Call Jokes
Here is a list of funny phone call jokes and even better phone call puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Corona must have hit India hard... I´ve not recieved a single phone call this week from
Microsoft to warn me about a virus on my computer. - My girlfriend is so smart! I forgot to bring my phone, so I used my friend's phone to call her.
She answered: "What's up, honey?"
What a smart girl! She knew I was the one on the phone! - To whoever lost an iPhone 14 Pro Max outside the train station yesterday Can you please stop calling my new phone?
- I just installed a new app on my phone that lets me know which of my friends are racist. It's called 'Facebook'
- I was depressed last night so I called a self-help phone line... Got a call centre in Afghanistan, and told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck... - A telephone rang. "Hello! Is your phone number 444-4444?" "Yes, it is," came the reply.
"Thank Goodness! Could you call 911 for me? I super-glued my finger to the phone." - How do you call a cow with no legs? You don't, because cows don't have phones.
- Friend asked to use my phone to call his mom.. Told him to just hit redial.
- I called my wife's phone using my best friend's phone. She answered with "Hey baby"... She knew it was me before I even spoke. True love at it's finest.
- I asked my teenage son to pass me the phone book He laughed, called me a dinosaur and handed me his iPhone.
So, the spider is dead. The iPhone is broken and my son is furious.
Ending Call Jokes
Here is a list of funny ending call jokes and even better ending call puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A chicken saw a duck standing by the side of the road. The chicken called out to the duck: Don't do it pal. You'll never hear the end of it!
- What do you do with 365 used condoms? Melt them down, make a tire and call it a Goodyear.
(Yes, I have been waiting till the end of the year to write this) - What do you call a religious song from Helsinki that describes the end of a Mortal Kombat match? A Finnish Hymn
- NASA confirmed that, in the end of the afternoon of day 21, the skies are going to be very dark. It's a phenomenon called "Night".
- What's a word that starts with an N ends in an R, and is something you never want to call a black person? Neighbour
- What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws? The outlaws are wanted
*shoutout to the customer that called in and ended the phone call with a joke to spread some cheer* - I'm getting paid a lot to shut down Zoom calls... Now I'm making ends meet by making meets end!
- What do you call a potato that becomes US President and silences the news, silences government agencies, silences government funded science and ends international treaties? A dic-tater.
- My wife and I are hosting a get together tonight that ends at 11:30.. We're calling it a before New Year's leave party.
- someone tried to tell stan lee this joke during his panel at comic con this week end what do you call spiderman when he quits the daily bugal and starts working as a valet?
peter PARKER.
Missed Call Jokes
Here is a list of funny missed call jokes and even better missed call puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Whosoever invented "dentures" missed out on calling them ... "Substitooths".
- I used to be in a band called 'Missing Cat' You've probably seen our posters.
- Whoever coined the phrase dad bod missed a golden opportunity... Should've called it "the Father-figure"
- What do you call a person missing 75% of their spine? A quarterback
- What do you call an illegitimate female cow? Miss Steak
- I used to be in a band called Missing Cat You may have seen our posters.
- The beautiful woman next door came around complaining about items going missing from her washing line and threatened to call the police... I nearly crapped her pants!
- What is your favorite Chuck Norris joke? My Favorite,
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris. - How to you call a pig missing both hind legs? A ham-putee.
- What do you call the winner of the beauty pageant for teenagers who've had an abortion? Little miss conception
Care Call Jokes
Here is a list of funny care call jokes and even better care call puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Police were called to a day care Toddler was resisting a rest.
- I bought a racehorse today, I called it My Face I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want a bunch of people shouting Come on my face
- What do you call a person that takes care of chickens? A Chicken Tender.
- What do you call someone who doesn't care about printers? No fax given.
- A wife calls her husband driving to work and says, "Honey be careful. There's a maniac driving on the wrong side of the road on the highway."
He responds, "One maniac? There are hundreds of them." - Me: I'll call you when I get home so you know I'm safe Bus driver: I really don't care
- Dad Joke Don't care what my 10yo daughter does or says from this forward, I'll always be a proud Father…
She asked me what do you call a Elf that just won the lottery… Welfy - A friend tried to trip me up in an Indian restaurant, failed, and fell face first in to someone's mild chicken dish. I call it instant korma.
I don't care if you like it, I can tikka or leave it. - My car got stolen yesterday !! I thought of calling the cops but then realized it was better not to call them and let the car thief take care of the dead bodies in my trunk.
- What do you call someone who takes care of baby monkeys? A bananny.
Prank Call Jokes
Here is a list of funny prank call jokes and even better prank call puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- what did the zombie say when he prank-called someone? "deez gutz"
- If Moe the bartender ever figures out who was prank calling him he'd go from Bar Tender to Bart Ender
- What is it called when shapes play pranks on each other? Geometrick.
- [Arrested for prank calling] Cop: You get one phone call
Me: Ok *excited
*cop's phone rings*
Me: Is your refrigerator running - What do you call a leprechaun's prank? A St. Pat-trick! Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone!
- Fun times with prank calls
- What do you call Al-Qaeda's April Fools prank? A jihahahad!
- Batman prank calls Spider-Man... Batman asks, "Is uncle Ben home?"
Spider-Man says, "No! He is at the theater with your parents!" - Me: Is you're refrigerator running? Random Guy I'm Prank Calling: yeah
Me: Cause I'd vote for it, Refrigerator for pres 2020 - What is the program for pranking insane people called? Pantaloon

Humorous Call Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about call you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean command jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make call pranks.
I called my wife at work and asked, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?" Sounding concerned, she said, "No."
I responded, "How about now?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call it when two transgender midgets have s**...?
Micro trans-action
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call children born in whorehouses?
Brothel sprouts
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I called a s**... hotline in Iraq..
They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a witch that only eats sand?
Malnourished.
I rode the elevator to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said "Have a good day, son"
"Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad."
He scratched his head. "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"
I got a phone call from my son's school today
Hello, is that Mr Jenkins?
Yes, how can I help you?
Hi, This is little Billy's music teacher calling
Oh, hi
Yeah, hi. I just wanted to let you know it looks like you have a little Elvis Presley on your hands!
Really? Wow! That's..
Yeah, we just found him dead on the toilet
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I don't like the term a**... Bleaching'.
I prefer to call it 'changing my ringtone'.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Who decided to call it m**... possession"
and not joint custody?
If Jesus was real they wouldn't call it the crucifixion...
They would call it crucifact.
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.
Then they call me ugly and poor.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a h**... in Boston?
A tourist
A Jehovah's Witness knocks on a Jew's door.
Jew: "Can I help you?"
Witness: "Hello sir, I'm here to tell you about the great Lord Jehovah!"
Jew: "Is that what you call him? You know, we have a name for him too..."
Witness: "No way?!"
Jew: "Yahweh."
What do they call the Hunger Games in France?
Battle Royale with Cheese.
What do you call a cannibal who only eats coma patients?
A vegetarian.
David Hasselhoff calls his Agent and demands, "I want everyone to call me The Hoff from now on."
His Agent says, "Sure. No hassle."
I told my buddy that Jewish people call god by a different name
He was like, "No way!"
I was like, "Yahweh"
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor?
Laughing stock.
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure?
A waist of time.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call 5 black people having s**...?
A t**...
What do you call batman when he skips church?
Christian Bale
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brunette?
Artificial intelligence
*
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "what are you going to do now?"
God said,
"I think I'm going to call it a day."
What do you call a man with 6,022 x 10^23 dollars?
A Moleionaire
Kid: "Mom, am I ugly?"
Mom: "I told you not to call me mom in public."
What do you call 6.02*10^23 butts?
Molasses
Donald Trump is the next President but...
The biggest winner is Melania Trump. She can now call herself The First Lady instead of The Third Wife.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein?
No Whey José.
What do you call a snake that's exactly 3.14 meters long?
A πthon
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is it called when you die and come back as a h**...?
Reintarnation
What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married?
Feyónce
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
(Original) What do you call a feminist government?
A d**...-hater-ship.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trump: The less immigrants that come in, the better
Pence: The fewer
Trump: I told you not to call me that yet
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a dwarf in a tumble dryer?
A midget spinner.
I said to my wife, "I need to call the doctor today."
"Which doctor?", she replied.
"No, the regular kind."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I called the s**... hotline today
They left me hanging
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I call my car the p**... Wagon'
Because that's where I go to cry.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As the k**... are so full of hate, bigotry and want to rid America of others...
Should we call them Vanilla Isis ?
In USSR we had this joke
An old Jew is on his deathbed. With weak voice he asks to call for a partorg because before his death he wants to join the Communist Party. A happy partorg rushes to him with filled out membership form to sign and a ready Party membership card. As the Jew signs the form he carefully takes the membership card and presses it against his heart.
In a peaceful and happy voice he whispers: "Today one more communist will die"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Guys, I think my girlfriend might be a psychic.
Last night my phone died while I was out, so I used my brother's phone to call her.
And she answered, "What's up, s**...?" Before I even said a word!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Having s**... with four people is called a f**..., having s**... with three people is called a t**...
Now I know why people call me handsome
What do you call 2 monkeys that share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman gets home from work and hears her husband call out from the bedroom...
Husband: can you come here and help me with this clock?
The woman walks in the room and sees her husband sitting at the edge of their bed with a r**... hard-on
Wife: thats not a clock
Husband: it will be when you put two hands and a face on it.
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is all the time?
A widow.
What do you call a tire made out of 365 recycled condoms?
A Goodyear
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call the moisture between two h**... having s**...?
Relative humidity.
When I drink alcohol, people call me alcoholic. But when I drink fanta, no one calls me
or texts me, I'm so lonely, pls help.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a m**... Vegan?
A WeedWhacker (sorry if it's awful first time on this sub)
David Hasselhoff walked into a bar
and ordered a drink.
Its a pleasure to serve you, Mr Hasselhoff, said the bartender.
Just call me Hoff, the actor replied.
Sure, the bartender said, no hassle.
Her: Let's exchange numbers
Me: Won't that confuse people who are trying to call us?
What do you call a soldier that's survived mustard gas and pepper spray?
A seasoned veteran
A man takes his wife to get tested
Several days go by, and he receives a call from the doctor.
The doctor tells him, Due to an unfortunate mixup with the lab, we are not sure of your wife has Covid-19 or Alzheimer'
The man, clearly frustrated, asks, Well what am I supposed to do with that kind of information?
The doctor calmly suggests, I recommend you take her for a very long walk and leave her. If she comes home, don't let her in.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a Dutchman are all on a zoom call.
The four men are all on a zoom call with their boss. Their boss asks Can you see me? and they respond
Yes
Oui
Si
Ja
My wife is pregnant with a boy and i want to call him Lance
My wife said its such an uncommon name.
So i told her back in medievil days people were called Lance a lot
Cardi B's sister used to spy for the Russian government, but refuses to talk about it publicly
They call her 'Cagey B'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If someone calls you Fat, just ignore them.
You are bigger than that!
What do you call a Christmas wreath made out of $100 bills?
Aretha Franklins
I called the tinnitus hotline
but it just kept ringing :/
After calling 5 different home security companies...
....I've decided it's cheaper to get robbed.
In Europe, they don't call it the "Friend Zone"
They call it the "Pal Region"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
We should have a TV show where i**... immigrants hunt down s**... offenders for a chance at citizenship
We can call it "Alien vs Predator"
What do you call the sexuality where you're attracted to men and women but neither are attracted to you?
Bi-yourself.
What do you call a person who saw an apple store getting robed?
An iWitness.

