Call Jokes

Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include Call puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best jokes about Call

Courtesy of my 6yo daughter: What do you call a dinosaur that takes care of its teeth?

A Flossiraptor

Call a girl beautiful 1,000 times and she won't think twice...

Call a girl fat once and she'll always remember.

Because elephants never forget

I called my wife at work and asked, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?" Sounding concerned, she said, "No."



I responded, "How about now?"

A joke my 8-year old made up: What do you call a chicken that's afraid of the dark?

A chicken.

I called two girls hipsters and got slapped.

Apparently the correct term is "conjoined twins".

Isn't it annoying when engineering students call themselves engineers?

It's stupid. You don't hear medical students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves baristas.

What do you call a drunk guy trying to start his car?

A lyft. Friends don't let friends drive drunk.





What do you call a waffle on a California beach?

A Sandy Eggo.
- Compliments of my cousin's 6 year old daughter (She says "Hi" by the way).

-

What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?

Micro trans-action

What do you call an emo a capella group?

Self Harmony

What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer?

A father in law

What's it called when a King and Queen have no children?

A receding heir line...

What's it called when a chameleon can't change its colors anymore?

A reptile dysfunction.

What do you call children born in whorehouses?

Brothel sprouts



I call my wife Bambi. She thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes...

But in reality it's because I want someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle

My friend gets really upset when I call him a flat-Earther

He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.

What do you call a flower getting a sex change?

A Transplant

My nerdy friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes.

We now call him Dr. Awkward.

What do you call a cow with 3 legs?

Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Yo momma.

Man says to his boss Can we talk? I have a problem.

Boss says Problem? No such thing, we call it an opportunity!

Man says Ok I have a serious drinking opportunity.

I called a suicide hotline in Iraq..

They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

What do you call a witch that only eats sand?

Malnourished.

I called work this morning and whispered, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today. I have a wee cough." He exclaimed, "You have a wee cough!?"

I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"

I rode the elevator to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said "Have a good day, son"

"Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad."

He scratched his head. "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"

I got a phone call from my son's school today

Hello, is that Mr Jenkins?

Yes, how can I help you?

Hi, This is little Billy's music teacher calling

Oh, hi

Yeah, hi. I just wanted to let you know it looks like you have a little Elvis Presley on your hands!

Really? Wow! That's..

Yeah, we just found him dead on the toilet

I don't like the term 'Anal Bleaching'.

I prefer to call it 'changing my ringtone'.

Who decided to call it marijuana possession"

and not joint custody?

David Hasselhoff walked into a bar

and ordered a drink.

Its a pleasure to serve you, Mr Hasselhoff, said the bartender.

Just call me Hoff, the actor replied.

Sure, the bartender said, no hassle.

A man takes his wife to get tested

Several days go by, and he receives a call from the doctor.

The doctor tells him, Due to an unfortunate mixup with the lab, we are not sure of your wife has Covid-19 or Alzheimer'

The man, clearly frustrated, asks, Well what am I supposed to do with that kind of information?

The doctor calmly suggests, I recommend you take her for a very long walk and leave her. If she comes home, don't let her in.

What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

When I drink alcohol, people call me alcoholic. But when I drink fanta, no one calls me

or texts me, I'm so lonely, pls help.

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein?

No Whey JosΓ©.

My girlfriend is so smart!

I forgot to bring my phone, so I used my friend's phone to call her.

She answered: "What's up, honey?"

What a smart girl! She knew I was the one on the phone!

In USSR we had this joke

An old Jew is on his deathbed. With weak voice he asks to call for a partorg because before his death he wants to join the Communist Party. A happy partorg rushes to him with filled out membership form to sign and a ready Party membership card. As the Jew signs the form he carefully takes the membership card and presses it against his heart.
In a peaceful and happy voice he whispers: "Today one more communist will die"

What is it called when you die and come back as a hillbilly?

Reintarnation

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a Dutchman are all on a zoom call.

The four men are all on a zoom call with their boss. Their boss asks Can you see me? and they respond

Yes

Oui

Si

Ja

As the KKK are so full of hate, bigotry and want to rid America of others...

Should we call them Vanilla Isis ?

Having sex with four people is called a foursome, having sex with three people is called a threesome

Now I know why people call me handsome

A man takes his wife to get tested for Coronavirus.

2 days later he gets a call from the lab.

Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you sir that your wife's test results have been mixed up with another patient's. We're not sure if she has COVID-19 or Alzheimer's disease.

Man: So what am I supposed to do now?!

Doctor: I'd recommend taking her for a long walk and leaving her, if she finds her way back home, don't open the door.

What do you call a hippies' wife?

Mississippi

What do you call a masturbating Vegan?

A WeedWhacker (sorry if it's awful first time on this sub)

If men call short women petite. What do women call short men?

Friends.

Donald Trump is the next President but...

The biggest winner is Melania Trump. She can now call herself The First Lady instead of The Third Wife.

(Original) What do you call a feminist government?

A Dick-hater-ship.

What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married?

FeyΓ³nce

I called the Suicide hotline today

They left me hanging

What do you call 6.02*10^23 butts?

Molasses

Her: Let's exchange numbers

Me: Won't that confuse people who are trying to call us?

I said to my wife, "I need to call the doctor today."

"Which doctor?", she replied.

"No, the regular kind."

What do you call a soldier that's survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran

What do you call a dwarf in a tumble dryer?

A midget spinner.

What do you call a black man that's just been hit by a bus?

An ambulance you racist.

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is all the time?

A widow.

What do you call a snake that's exactly 3.14 meters long?

A Ο€thon

What do you call a tire made out of 365 recycled condoms?

A Goodyear

What do you call the moisture between two hillbillies having sex?

Relative humidity.

After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "what are you going to do now?"

God said,

"I think I'm going to call it a day."

What do you call a Communist sniper?

A Marxman.

What do you call 2 monkeys that share an Amazon account?

Prime mates.

Kid: "Mom, am I ugly?"

Mom: "I told you not to call me mom in public."

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes