call Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious call puns

Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.

I just thank my lucky stars I live in Canada.

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Courtesy of my 6yo daughter: What do you call a dinosaur that takes care of its teeth?

A Flossiraptor

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I started a new job. My boss said "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky". I said "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick".

She said "how do you get Dick from Kyle?"
I replied "you just ask nicely".



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Call a girl beautiful 1,000 times and she won't think twice...

Call a girl fat once and she'll always remember.

Because elephants never forget

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I called my wife at work and asked, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?" Sounding concerned, she said, "No."



I responded, "How about now?"

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A joke my 8-year old made up: What do you call a chicken that's afraid of the dark?

A chicken.

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I called two girls hipsters and got slapped.

Apparently the correct term is "conjoined twins".

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Isn't it annoying when engineering students call themselves engineers?

It's stupid. You don't hear medical students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves baristas.

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What do you call a drunk guy trying to start his car?

A lyft. Friends don't let friends drive drunk.





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What do you call a waffle on a California beach?

A Sandy Eggo.
- Compliments of my cousin's 6 year old daughter (She says "Hi" by the way).

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What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?

Micro trans-action

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What do you call an emo a capella group?

Self Harmony

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What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer?

A father in law

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What's it called when a King and Queen have no children?

A receding heir line...

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What's it called when a chameleon can't change its colors anymore?

A reptile dysfunction.

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What do you call children born in whorehouses?

Brothel sprouts



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I call my wife Bambi. She thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes...

But in reality it's because I want someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle

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My friend gets really upset when I call him a flat-Earther

He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.

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My nerdy friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes.

We now call him Dr. Awkward.

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What do you call a cow with 3 legs?

Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Yo momma.

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Man says to his boss Can we talk? I have a problem.

Boss says Problem? No such thing, we call it an opportunity!

Man says Ok I have a serious drinking opportunity.

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I called a suicide hotline in Iraq..

They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

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What do you call a witch that only eats sand?

Malnourished.

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I called work this morning and whispered, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today. I have a wee cough." He exclaimed, "You have a wee cough!?"

I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"

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I rode the elevator to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said "Have a good day, son"

"Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad."

He scratched his head. "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"

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I got a phone call from my son's school today

Hello, is that Mr Jenkins?

Yes, how can I help you?

Hi, This is little Billy's music teacher calling

Oh, hi

Yeah, hi. I just wanted to let you know it looks like you have a little Elvis Presley on your hands!

Really? Wow! That's..

Yeah, we just found him dead on the toilet

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I don't like the term 'Anal Bleaching'.

I prefer to call it 'changing my ringtone'.

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Who decided to call it marijuana possession"

and not joint custody?

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What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

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When I drink alcohol, people call me alcoholic. But when I drink fanta, no one calls me

or texts me, I'm so lonely, pls help.

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What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein?

No Whey JosΓ©.

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My girlfriend is so smart!

I forgot to bring my phone, so I used my friend's phone to call her.

She answered: "What's up, honey?"

What a smart girl! She knew I was the one on the phone!

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What is it called when you die and come back as a hillbilly?

Reintarnation

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In USSR we had this joke

An old Jew is on his deathbed. With weak voice he asks to call for a partorg because before his death he wants to join the Communist Party. A happy partorg rushes to him with filled out membership form to sign and a ready Party membership card. As the Jew signs the form he carefully takes the membership card and presses it against his heart.
In a peaceful and happy voice he whispers: "Today one more communist will die"

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As the KKK are so full of hate, bigotry and want to rid America of others...

Should we call them Vanilla Isis ?

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What are the most funny Call jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Call? Well, here are the best Call dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Call pick up lines to share with friends.

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