call Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious call stories

What are the best Call puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Call? Well here is a complete list of Call dad jokes:

Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.

I just thank my lucky stars I live in Canada.

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Courtesy of my 6yo daughter: What do you call a dinosaur that takes care of its teeth?

A Flossiraptor

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I started a new job. My boss said "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky". I said "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick".

She said "how do you get Dick from Kyle?"
I replied "you just ask nicely".



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Call a girl beautiful 1,000 times and she won't think twice...

Call a girl fat once and she'll always remember.

Because elephants never forget

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I called my wife at work and asked, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?" Sounding concerned, she said, "No."



I responded, "How about now?"

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A joke my 8-year old made up: What do you call a chicken that's afraid of the dark?

A chicken.

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I called two girls hipsters and got slapped.

Apparently the correct term is "conjoined twins".

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What do you call a stolen Tesla?

An Edison.

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Isn't it annoying when engineering students call themselves engineers?

It's stupid. You don't hear medical students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves baristas.

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What do you call a drunk guy trying to start his car?

A lyft. Friends don't let friends drive drunk.





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What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?

Micro trans-action

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What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer?

A father in law

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What's it called when a King and Queen have no children?

A receding heir line...

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What's it called when a chameleon can't change its colors anymore?

A reptile dysfunction.

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What do you call children born in whorehouses?

Brothel sprouts



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I call my wife Bambi. She thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes...

But in reality it's because I want someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle

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My friend gets really upset when I call him a flat-Earther

He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.

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Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she wont think twice..

Call a girl fat once and she'll always remember.

Because elephants never forget

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What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?

Micro trans-action

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My nerdy friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes.

We now call him Dr. Awkward.

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What do you call a cow with 3 legs?

Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Yo momma.

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Man says to his boss Can we talk? I have a problem.

Boss says Problem? No such thing, we call it an opportunity!

Man says Ok I have a serious drinking opportunity.

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I called a suicide hotline in Iraq..

They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

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What do you call a witch that only eats sand?

Malnourished.

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I called work this morning and whispered, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today. I have a wee cough." He exclaimed, "You have a wee cough!?"

I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"

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I rode the elevator to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said "Have a good day, son"

"Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad."

He scratched his head. "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"

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I got a phone call from my son's school today

Hello, is that Mr Jenkins?

Yes, how can I help you?

Hi, This is little Billy's music teacher calling

Oh, hi

Yeah, hi. I just wanted to let you know it looks like you have a little Elvis Presley on your hands!

Really? Wow! That's..

Yeah, we just found him dead on the toilet

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I don't like the term 'Anal Bleaching'.

I prefer to call it 'changing my ringtone'.

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Who decided to call it marijuana possession"

and not joint custody?

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What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?

Micro trans-action.

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Just asked Siri.

"Surely it's not going to rain today?"

She said "it will, and don't call me Shirley"

...Forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode.

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Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.

Then they call me ugly and poor.

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I asked the hotel receptionist for a wake-up call.

She rang my room and said,
What the fuck are you doing
with your life?

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What do you call a wife that knows where her husband is at all time?

A widow

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What do they call the Hunger Games in France?

Battle Royale with Cheese.

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If Jesus was real they wouldn't call it the crucifixion...

They would call it crucifact.

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What do you call a fat psychic?

A four chin teller.

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A Jehovah's Witness knocks on a Jew's door...

A Jehovah's Witness knocks on a Jew's door.

Jew: "Can I help you?"

Witness: "Hello sir, I'm here to tell you about the great Lord Jehovah!"

Jew: "Is that what you call him? You know, we have a name for him too..."

Witness: "No way?!"

Jew: "Yahweh."

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When 2 people have sex it's called a twosome. When 3 people do it it's called a threesom

I guess that's why they call me handsome...

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What do you call a hot chick in Boston?

A tourist

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Forty-five years is long enough.

An old man calls up his son and says, "Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

We can't stand the sight of each other any longer, he says. "I'm sick of her face, and I'm sick of talking about this, so call your sister and tell her," and he hangs up.

Now, the son is worried. So he calls up his sister. She says, "Like hell they're getting divorced!" and calls her father immediately. "You're not getting divorced! Don't do another thing, the two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then, don't call a lawyer, don't file a paper, DO YOU HEAR ME? and she hangs up.

The old man turns to his wife and says "Okay, they're coming for Christmas and paying their own airfare."

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What do you call immigrants to Sweden?

Artificial Swedeners

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I was depressed last night so I called a self-help phone line...

Got a call centre in Afghanistan, and told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck...

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Just asked Siri. "Surely it's not going to rain today?"

She said, "it is, and dont call me Shirley".

Forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode.

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PS4/Xbox joke

Oh no! Playstation and xbox online services are down! Someone call an ambulance! Wii U Wii U Wii U

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What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married?

Feyoncè

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What do you call a cow with no legs?

My severely diabetic sister.

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A Private is standing outside smoking

A Private is standing outside in the smoking area, joking around with one of his buddies.

A young Lieutenant walks up to them, and asks "Private, have you got change for a dollar?"

The private looks over at him, and replies " Yea sure buddy, no problem".

The Lieutenant stares at him, mouth agape, then begins tearing into him. "What directly in the fuck did you call me Private? I am not your buddy, I am an Officer, and you will afford me all the respect deserving of my rank! Put your heels together and stand at attention when you address me!"

The Lieutenant takes a deep breath, and looks the Private who is now standing ramrod straight, over.

"Let me ask you again, Private, and chose your words carefully this time. Do you have change for a dollar?"

"I do not, sir!".

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Call a girl beautiful 1,000 times and she'll never notice. Call a girl fat once and she'll never forget it.

That's because elephants never forget.

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I call my weed the Quran...

Because burning that shit will get you stoned

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CONCLUSION

You've red some of the best call jokes of all time. We hope you had fun with this collection of 50 puns about call. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise your chidlren not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty call gags to your kids. So please respect and be a good joking daddy !

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laugh? How do you make someone laugh? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter just like dad jokes. Some of these call jokes are funny and some are hilarious. With this collection it's easy to be a joker. Have fun and dig deeper into our archive.

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