Following is our collection of funny Cali jokes. There are some cali tombs jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cali relatable puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Did you know that in California you cannot take a picture of a woman with a basket of strawberries?
...you need a camera because strawberries do not take pictures.
"C'mon, Officer. I slowed down, didn't I?" argued the driver.
"But you must come to a complete stop at the sign," said the trooper.
"'Stop.' 'Slow down.' What's the difference, really?" quibbled the driver.
The cop was so irritated that he whipped out his billy club and started hitting the man's arm with it, shouting, "Well, do you want me to stop or slow down?!"
None. Californians screw in hot tubs.
They call them "I can't believe it's not Jesus"
He was a super pallid Cali mystic, expert at hypnosis.
(Today I had wanted to tell someone the Gandhi joke I read on here the other day, but I couldn't remember it so I made this up and thought I may as well share it even though it's purely derivative.)
A man driving approaches a stop sign and slows down to a cool 5 mph, rolls smoothly across the crosswalk, looks both ways, and glides forward when he sees the coast is clear.
Unbeknownst to him, a cop sees this and pulls him over on the next block.
The cop pulls the guy out of the car and starts beating him.
The guy starts yelling "Stop! STOP!! What are you doing?! Stop!!!"
"Oh I'm sorry, did you want me to stop or slow down?"
New Jersey got to choose first
I don't know and this is not a laughing matter.
Dry humor
Q: How many Northern Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Hella.
Today there was a 4.8 magnitude earthquake reported in California.
Taylor Swift was quoted as saying "Shake it, shake it off".
You can explore cali scholarships reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cali outweigh dad jokes. There are also cali puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
They tell you.
"Lick it, or ticket."
His horse kept casting too many neigh votes.
Californians don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs and infinity pools.
Californians don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in hot tubs. (I remember this from the 1970s when I was in middle school. It's one of my first dirty jokes)
It is collapsible
I guess they had a high voter turnout.
Earthquakes
New Jersey got to pick first.
- from Law and Order
There was hella copters!
They cried until the Oroville dam collapsed.
"Do you like like to like the likes of Ike look-a-likes?"
When you get rid of all the fruits and nuts, all that's left are the flakes.
They both have a San Diego.
If you take out all the fruits and nuts all that's left is a bunch of flakes.
No but seriously, the whole place is on fire.
Back in the 1970's there was a cult in California who believed that they could save California by appeasing the San Andreas. There were parts of San Andreas that literally gaped open wide, and members of the cult were noted for throwing all their earthly possessions down into the amazingly deep cracks in the Earth's crust. Of course, skeptics accused the cult of being merely generous to a fault.
And a lot of produce too.
Is to look up at the sun, and see if there is a may cause cancer warning label on it.
You perform the Anaheimlich Maneuver
Thank you
A Sandy Eggo (San Diego)
We's have a prime number of states and finally be one nation, indivisible
So far, the results have been positive.
I just going to have to drink my frappuccino through this assault rifle.
In the calzone.
Apparently it was the last straw.
are grasping at stra.... oh.
Well done.
Because they're always fired up.
It's always catching fire.
I hate sandy Eggo.
It's chock full of fruits, nuts, and flakes.
But they would all just get into a massive accident on the way there.
A man was in court the other day accused of shooting and killing a California Condor. The judge asked the man, "Why on Earth would you kill one of the magnificent creatures?" The man replied, "Your honor, I have been out of work for quite a while and me and my family were hungry with nothing to eat and I looked up and saw this big bird over head so I shot it down and fed my family with it." The judge said, "That is a tough story. I am sorry for your situation and I will certainly take it into consideration when I sentence you, but by the way, I am a little curious as to what it tastes like." The man replied, "It's really not bad. Kind of a mix between a spotted owl and a baby seal."
You know what, that's the last straw.
When California was determining its census rules, a law similar to the three fifths compromise was considered, under which two Asian Americans would be counted the same as one caucasian.
The law was rejected, because the lawmakers all agreed that two Wongs don't make a white.
In California, one American queuing for Coronavirus testing, waited half a day and getting angry, told the person behind him that he had enough of this waiting. He requested the person behind him to save his place in the queue as he is going to shoot Trump.
After few hours he came back.
The person that saved his place for him asked : did you shoot him? He replied, "No, the Q there is even longer than here!"
Supper Cali frag a lick stick ex pee Ally dough sus
Someone threw a gender reveal party.
Sunburnadino
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cali persuasive jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working cali california piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.