Following is our collection of funny Calf jokes. There are some calf leg jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these calf udder puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Calf Raises.
The one with the wee calf.
Sexual Moolestion
The first calf asks "Why is my name Daisy?"
The cow replies, "When you were born, a daisy fell onto your head, sweetie."
The second calf asks "Why is my name Rose?"
The cow replies, "When you were born, a rose fell onto your head, dear."
The third calf says "Hargendflarfrebargen"
"Shut it, Cinderblock!"
Grounded beef.
This was made up by my 12 year old brother when we saw a calf escaped the enclosure on a neighbouring farm. I'll let him know what you all think.
One of the cowboys got off his horse and looking around, noticed there was no one else around but the two of them. He then dropped his pants and started to have sex with the calf. He then turned to his partner and said " You got to try this." So the other cowboy got off his horse, looked around, then dropped his pants and stuck his head in the fence.
... it could either be veal or below-knee.
Ground beef
It's the one with the wee calf. (Think Scottish)
Half Calf
Half calf
You can explore calf heifer reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean calf cow dad jokes. There are also calf puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
The doctor runs the normal tests and takes some x-rays. Unable to find the problem he finally decides to listen to the leg with his stethoscope, at the knee he hears "hey give me $5" at the calf he hears "hey give me $10" at the ankle he hears "hey give me$15". He takes off the stethoscope, looks up the patient and says " I have some bad news, your leg is broke in three places"
Its not a joke, it really happened in Melbourne not that long ago
BISON!
To get to the udder side.
A cowculator.
It's *pasture* bedtime!
The one with the wee calf.
She had a new calf
Because he had a bi son
It's pasture bed time
Because she had a wee calf.
He says dr it hurts when I touch here
And touches his arm
It also hurts here
And touches his ribs
and here
And touches his back
It hurts here too
And touches his calf
It hurts here
And touches his elbow
and here
And touches his head
It even hurts here
And touches his abdomen
And the dr says -
Yeah you have a broken finger.
Now, everyone knows that a cow without legs is called ground beef, but what do you call a cow with only one leg?
A calf.
A. The one with the wee calf.
The 1st calf asks it's mom, "Why is my name Petunia?". The mom cow replied "Because a petunia fell on your head when you were born". The 2nd calf asked it's mom, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom replied with, "Because a Daisy fell on your head when you were born". The 3rd cow said, "REEEEEEEEEEE" and the mom said "Shut up cinderblock"
On your calf
*A moist cowlette!*
He was grounded afterwards.
I felt like a bit of a third veal.
It's a real knee slapper.
And that pun was only calf of the joke.
A baby shark is a doo doo doo doo doo doo.
It was a Terry bull name.
Two cows are standing in a field, which one is going on holiday?
The one with the wee calf.
They asked:
* How's the knee feeling?
* Do you prefer shorts or long pants?
* Do you ever get cramps in your calf area?
I interrupted and said, Hey, this is weird. Why are you asking such strange questions?
The surveyor laughed and said, I'm just polling your leg.
Little miss Steak.
Friend 1: my grandpa had a barnhouse so big, if you put a calf through one end, by the time it came out the other end it would be a full grown cow.
Friend 2: my grandpa had a bamboo so big he could move the clouds out of his way so he could see the moon and the stars at night.
Friend 1: You're bluffing. Where'd he even keep a bamboo that big?
Friend 2: In your grandpa's barnhouse.
It's pasture bedtime!
I think I have a calf injury.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the calf hamstring jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working calf herd piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.