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Calender Jokes

22 calender jokes and hilarious calender puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about calender that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Calender Short Jokes

Short calender jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The calender humour may include short schedule jokes also.

  1. Man goes to a restaurant Sits down at a table by himself and places a calender in front of him. The waiter ask why the calendar? Man replies "I didn't want to be alone so I brought some dates"
  2. Why does Batman's Calender only have 363 days? Because there is no Mother's or Father's day.
  3. I got a Jehovah's Witness themed advent calender this year.... I didn't open any of the doors.
  4. What do calenders eat? Nothing. Calenders are inanimate objects that are used to keep
    track of the date and important events.

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Calender One Liners

Which calender one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with calender? I can suggest the ones about calendar and diary.

  1. How do you threaten a calender? Say "Your days are numbered."
  2. Im not sure who named the Gregorian calender ,probably some guy called Greg. Or Ian.
  3. Man's just been jailed for stealing an advent Calender He got 24 days
  4. What did the man get for shoplifting a calender? 12 months
  5. Two guys decided to rob a Calender from a Calender store They each got six months
  6. W T F After Tuesday, even the calender goes W T F.
  7. Who cant take days off from their job? People who work for A Calender Company.
  8. What's a calender's favorite fruit? Dates.
Calender joke, What's a calender's favorite fruit?

Witty Calender Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about calender you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kleptomaniac jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make calender pranks.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

a man goes to confess after 25 years

So the man walks into the confession booth for the first time in his adult life, having nothing but bad memories about it from when he was a child.
So he opens the door, sits down and notices a couple of p**... n**... calenders on the wall, a bottle of whiskey in the corner and a nice box of cigars next to it, and he thinks to himself "Wow, this place has really improved over the years"
But then the Father opens the door and yells "Get out! that's my booth!"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

My auntie gave me a n**... Banana Calender 2018 for Christmas..

I just don't see the apeel.

Calender joke, What's a calender's favorite fruit?