Calendar Jokes

• Short Calendar Jokes
• Calendar One Liners
• Calendar Up Jokes
• Calendar Date Jokes
• Calendar Factory Jokes
• Advent Calendar Jokes
• More Calendar Jokes

Funniest Calendar Short Jokes

Short calendar jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The calendar humour may include short agenda jokes also.

1. Monday - Greg, Tuesday - Ian, Wednesday - Greg, Thursday - Ian, Friday - Greg, Saturday - Ian, Sunday - Greg The Gregorian calendar
2. I hate that September, October, November, and December are somehow the 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th months of the calendar year Whoever messed that up ought to be stabbed
3. Two guys were arrested for stealing a calendar they each got six months.
   I'm so sorry....
4. I'd like to wish all mothers a Happy Mother's Day! …and make all the Americans panic.
   (It's Mother's Day in the UK, for those worriedly looking at their calendar.)
5. I can't believe I got fired just for taking a day off. I am never working for a calendar company again.
6. What's the difference between you and a calendar? A calendar has a date for Valentine's Day.
7. I was so poor growing up, we only had a calendar to use as toilet paper… Now those days are behind me…
8. Did you hear about the two criminals who stole a calendar? They both got 6 months.
   P.S this is my first ever post! Please be nice!
   Sorry for the typo
9. September was the first calendar month no nfl players were arrested in six years. Kudos to their wives for being so well behaved last month.
10. Hey Siri! My girlfriend broke up with me. Oh no, I'm so sorry! Do you want a joke to cheer you up?
    Sure.
    What is the difference between you and a calendar?
    What?
    The calendar has dates.

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Calendar One Liners

Which calendar one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with calendar? I can suggest the ones about dates and schedule.

1. Why does Spider-Man's calendar only have 11 months? He lost May
2. Someone ripped the 5th month out of my calendar. I am completely dismayed
3. They fired me from the calendar factory I don't know why. I just took a few days off.
4. Two guys stole a calendar They both got 6 months
5. I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
6. I bought a Russian advent calendar. Every time you open a window an oligarch falls out.
7. Heard about the two guys who stole a calendar? They both got 6 months
8. Why does Peter Parker only have eleven months on his calendar? Because he lost May.
9. You hear about the two guys that stole a calendar? They each got six months.
10. What's brown and sticky? My beyonce calendar.
11. I recently got fired at my job at the calendar factory It's because I took a day off
12. To the English teacher that stole my calendar... Your days are numbered. Mark my words.
13. TIFU by getting fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
14. What do a calendar and a non vaxxed kid have in common? Their days are numbered.
15. Today is the rest of the world's 9/11 No, seriously, look up the calendar.

Calendar Up Jokes

Here is a list of funny calendar up jokes and even better calendar up puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I used to have a job; I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
• I got fired from the Calendar Factory yesterday They say it's because I took a day off
• Have you heard about the two guys who tried to steal a calendar? They each got six months
• The thief who stole my calendar... Got 12 months.
• Just got home and found all the doors and windows wide open and everything gone... What kind of sick person would do this to my Advent calendar?
• I got fired from the calendar factory Just for taking a day off
• What did the hitman say to the calendar? Your days are numbered.
• I lost my job at the calendar factory. My boss said it was unacceptable that I'd taken a few days off.
• Guys my calendar is really sick.. I think its days are numbered.
• Did you hear about the 2 guys who stole a calendar? they each got 6 months

Calendar Date Jokes

Here is a list of funny calendar date jokes and even better calendar date puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What's the difference between me and a calendar? The calendar has dates.
• Man goes to a restaurant Sits down at a table by himself and places a calender in front of him. The waiter ask why the calendar? Man replies "I didn't want to be alone so I brought some dates"
• What's a calendar's favorite treat? Dates!
  (My first time posting here, but I was snacking on dates and this came to my mind)
• What's the difference between a calendar and a average Redditor? Calendars have dates
• What's the difference between Leonardo di Caprio and a calendar Leo's dates only go up to 25
• I'm an expert at dating After all, I work in the calendar factory 12 hours a day
• What's the difference between you and a calendar? A calendar has dates.
  (\*cries in self pity\*)
• Why are calendar puns so bad? Because they are always so week and dated
• Why is Stevie wonders calendar like meeting people on tinder? It's all blind dates...
• My calendar has all the dates rubbed off. Now whenever I cross one of the boxes my roommate thinks I'm playing Tic-Tac-Toe with him.

Calendar Factory Jokes

Here is a list of funny calendar factory jokes and even better calendar factory puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I was fired from the calendar factory yesterday All I did was take a week off
• Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? He took a day off.
• How did a calendar factory worker get fired? He took a day off
• Bob, why were you kicked out from your job? I took a couple of days off.
  Oh, that's hard. Where do you work?
  At the calendar factory
• I got fired from the calendar factory... ... because I took some days off.
• I was fired from the calendar factory, wanna know why? I took a day off.
• I got fired from the calendar factory. I only took a day off.
• I got fired from my job at the calendar factory I took a day off
• Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory? Because he tried to take a month off
• I had a job at a calendar factory I got canned for taking a couple days off

Advent Calendar Jokes

Here is a list of funny advent calendar jokes and even better advent calendar puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days!
• Came home to find all my doors had been smashed in and everything was gone. What kind of sicko does that to someone's advent calendar?
• Got myself a Microsoft advent calendar but I'm worried that once I've opened 3 or 4 windows I won't be able to open any more...
• What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar? He got 25 days
  (ba dum tsssss)
• My advent calendar only has days that end in 1,3,5,7,9. That's odd.
• I can never finish anything so I bought a cyanide advent calendar.
• Why does Ed Miliband like advent calendars? Because it's his only chance to open the door to Number 10!
• I moved into an advent calendar today... Its very cold, all the windows are open.
• 12 days of Labour Why does Jeremy Corbyn enjoy advent calendars?
  Because it is the only time he will open the door to Number 10.
• Just came home to find all my doors had been smashed in and everything was gone... What sort of sick person does that to someone's advent calendar?

Cheeky Calendar Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity

What funny jokes about calendar you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gallery jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make calendar pranks.