Cheeky Calendar Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
Monday - Greg, Tuesday - Ian, Wednesday - Greg, Thursday - Ian, Friday - Greg, Saturday - Ian, Sunday - Greg
The Gregorian calendar
You hear about the two guys that stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
Number 7
Mark dreams number 7.
He wakes up, looks at his watch: it was 7:07.
He looked at the calendar: July 7, 2007.
Decided it was a sign he's taking the bus 77.
Arrive at the track, put $ 7777 on the horse 7 from the 7th race.
The horse comes seventh.
The thief who stole my calendar...
Got 12 months.
Have you heard about the two guys who tried to steal a calendar?
They each got six months
Did you hear about the man that stole the Calendar?
He got twelve months.
Heard about the two guys who stole a calendar?
They both got 6 months
Did you hear about the 2 guys who stole a calendar?
they each got 6 months
What's brown and sticky?
My Beyonce calendar.
What's the difference between you and a calendar?
A calendar has a date for Valentine's Day.
Did you hear about the couple who stole a calendar?
They both got six months.
You can explore calendar resolutions reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean calendar calender dad jokes. There are also calendar puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Guys my calendar is really sick..
I think its days are numbered.
Bob, why were you kicked out from your job?
I took a couple of days off.
Oh, that's hard. Where do you work?
At the calendar factory
TIFU by getting fired from the calendar factory.
All I did was take a day off.
September was the first calendar month no NFL players were arrested in six years.
Kudos to their wives for being so well behaved last month.
I lost my job at the calendar factory.
My boss said it was unacceptable that I'd taken a few days off.
I used to have a job;
I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory.
All I did was take a day off.
Did you hear about the 2 men who stole a calendar?
They each got 6 months.
The day after I was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, I lost my calendar.
My life has been pretty uneventful since.
Today is the rest of the world's 9/11
No, seriously, look up the calendar.
Just got home and found all the doors and windows wide open and everything gone...
What kind of sick person would do this to my Advent calendar?
Two thieves try to steal a calendar.
They each got six months.
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
I was so poor growing up, we only had a calendar to use as toilet paper…
Now those days are behind me…
Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?
He got 12 months.
Why did the man get fired from his job at a calendar company?
He took a few days off
Did you hear about the two guys that got caught stealing a calendar?
They each got six months.
Did you hear about two guys stole a calendar?
**They each got 6 months.**
I can't believe I got fired just for taking a day off.
I am never working for a calendar company again.
Did you hear about the two criminals who stole a calendar?
They both got 6 months.
P.S this is my first ever post! Please be nice!
Sorry for the typo
What do a calendar and a non vaxxed kid have in common?
Their days are numbered.
What's the difference between me and a calendar?
The calendar has dates.
Me and my brother stole a calendar
We each got six months.
They fired me from the calendar factory
I don't know why. I just took a few days off.
I recently got fired at my job at the calendar factory
It's because I took a day off
2020 has a new calendar out
January
February
Lockdown
December
Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory?
He took a day off.
BREAKING NEWS: Man arrested due to possessing a stolen calendar
He got twelve months
I got fired from the Calendar Factory yesterday
They say it's because I took a day off
I was fired from the calendar factory yesterday
All I did was take a week off
Two guys stole a calendar.
They got six months each.
I don't know what animal the year 2020 is in the Chinese calendar
but I'm pretty sure it has rabies.
Did you hear about the 2 guys that got caught stealing a calendar?
They both got 6 months.
What did the calendar say on its death bed?
My days are numbered.
What did the calendar say after Tuesday?
w**...
What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
He got 25 days!
Someone removed the fifth month from the calendar
I was really dismayed
The vet said she will put the dog down.
"But why?!" exclaimed the owner.
"Because he's heavy." explained the dogtor.
-taken from a cat calendar.
I'm worried about the calendar
It's days are numbered
Calendars are becoming obsolete.
In fact, I think their days are numbered.
I got fired from my job at the calendar factory
I got fired from my job at the calendar factory a couple weeks ago, and all I did was take a few days off.
But it's alright, I think I'm going to become a mirror washer.
It's something I can really see myself doing
I'm afraid for the calendar.
It's days are numbered.
Two guys were arrested for stealing a calendar
they each got six months.
I'm so sorry....
The guy who stole my calendar finally got caught …
He got twelve months
I got fired from the calendar factory
Just for taking a day off
Why does Spider-Man's calendar only have 11 months?
He lost May
Maybe you should start getting worried about the calendar
because its days are numbered
To the English teacher that stole my calendar...
Your days are numbered. Mark my words.
Someone ripped the 5th month out of my calendar.
I am completely dismayed
Why does Spider-Man only have 11 months on his calendar?
Because he lost May…
A man giving a long-winded speech finally says,….
"I'm sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at home."
A voice from the crowd says, "There's a calendar behind you."
How did a calendar factory worker get fired?
He took a day off
What did the hitman say to the calendar?
Your days are numbered.
Did you know the original Gregorian calendar had different months?
January = Greg
February = Ian
March = Greg
April = Ian
May = Ian
June = Greg
July = Ian
August = Greg
September = Greg
October = Ian
November = Greg
December = Ian
Why does Peter Parker only have eleven months on his calendar?
Because he lost May.
I'm really worried about the future of the calendar.
It's days are absolutely numbered
I bought a Russian advent calendar.
Every time you open a window an oligarch falls out.
Why did the calendar maker get fired from his job?
He took a day off
I hate that September, October, November, and December are somehow the 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th months of the calendar year
Whoever messed that up ought to be stabbed
I'd like to wish all mothers a Happy Mother's Day!
…and make all the Americans panic.
(It's Mother's Day in the UK, for those worriedly looking at their calendar.)
Two guys stole a calendar
They both got 6 months
Hey Siri! My girlfriend broke up with me.
Oh no, I'm so sorry! Do you want a joke to cheer you up?
Sure.
What is the difference between you and a calendar?
What?
The calendar has dates.
What's the difference between Leonardo di Caprio and a calendar
Leo's dates only go up to 25
