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Calculus Jokes

132 calculus jokes and hilarious calculus puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about calculus that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Check out these calculus jokes, perfect for math teachers, students and anyone who loves math! Laugh your way through the derivative, the tangent, the trigonometry and more. Get ready to discover math humor related to calculus, whether it be flirty, love, or birthday related.

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Funniest Calculus Short Jokes

Short calculus jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The calculus humour may include short algebra jokes also.

  1. I failed my calculus exam because I was sitting between two identical twins. It was impossible to differentiate between them.
  2. My 5 year old son found videos meant for adults only... ...but he obviously couldn't understand the advanced calculus lectures from my university, so he stopped watching.
  3. My girlfriend is like an advanced calculus class. I don't have a clue what's going on but seems like those others guys are getting it.
  4. Why aren't there any Calculus teachers in Little Rock, Arkansas? Because everyone there hates integration.
  5. TIL several states in the South banned calculus from schools in the 1950's. Apparently they opposed integration.
  6. Got pulled over while doing calculus in my car last night Cop said I was deriving over the limit.
  7. I failed Calculus when we reached differentials... I guess I should have known my limits. I could barely derive anything from what the teacher taught us.
  8. Did you know that calculus was never taught in southern schools before the 1960s? They didn't believe in integration.
  9. My teacher took off points when I spilled my juice on my Calculus homework... ... Apparently, I shouldn't drink and derive.
  10. I can tolerate algebra, maybe even a little calculus… …but geometry is where I draw the line.

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Calculus One Liners

Which calculus one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with calculus? I can suggest the ones about mathematics and trigonometry.

  1. dolphins doing calculus be like (eᴱ)' = Eeᴱ
  2. Why don't they teach Calculus in the Deep South? Because they don't like integration.
  3. Remember alcohol and calculus dont mix So don't drink and derive
  4. Man I really hate calculus. It just derives me crazy
  5. You can't solve every problem with calculus It has its limits
  6. Why don't Calculus majors throw house parties? Because you should never drink and derive.
  7. I just saved 15% or more on my Calculus test... by switching to radians.
  8. Drinking alcohol is like calculus. You have to know your limits.
  9. I heard the new Calculus movie was rated R It contains graphic content
  10. Calculus jokes should be an integral part of this sub
  11. I asked a friend if I could copy his calculus homework He told me to know my limits
  12. Our school should start a calculus club We would all derive fun from it
  13. How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher? Calculator!
  14. How do you use calculus in real life? You integrate it
  15. What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it? Calculus homework.

Calculus Derivative Jokes

Here is a list of funny calculus derivative jokes and even better calculus derivative puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A group of people were hospitalised after a calculus midterm. The cops said they were drinking and deriving.
  • Why did the calculus students get arrested? For drinking and deriving.
  • I'm tired of people ripping on calculus all the time. It derives me crazy.
  • I suppose we should have seen the Newton-Leibniz conflict coming. Calculus has always been derivative
  • A pub near my house has a calculus trivia night They want their patrons to drink and derive
  • A completely new joke about calculus. Never mind, actually it's just derivative.
  • Why are Redditors good at calculus? Because everything on this site is a derivative.
  • Where are all of the creative Calculus jokes? All these new ones are so derivative...
  • In high school math class ... I owned a car and I was good at calculus. They made me the "designated deriver".
  • I've been pitching my idea for a calculus-based movie... But everyone tells me it's too derivative

Integral Calculus Jokes

Here is a list of funny integral calculus jokes and even better integral calculus puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • why do white supremacists hate calculus? It really pushed their *limits* on *integration*
  • Did you know that people who dislike calculus are typically racists? They hate integration.
  • Calculus should be taught in every high school around the world. It is such an integral field of math.
  • When God integrated Planet Earth, he thankfully recalled his Calculus lesson. He remembered to add the sea.
  • My whole family bonded over math. Calculus was our religion. Except my grandfather... ...he was against integration.
    Cr
  • How was calculus taught in the Deep South prior to integration?
  • They said calculus would be integral to my education I found it a little derivative.
  • I'm tired of people hating on integral calculus for being so shallow! Integrals are more than just the sum of its parts!
  • Why did former Alabama governor George Wallace fail high school calculus? He refused to integrate.
  • I don't get why everyone rips on calculus all the time. Sure, it's very difficult. But it contains many integral concepts.

Calculus Limit Jokes

Here is a list of funny calculus limit jokes and even better calculus limit puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • College calculus is like a drinking game against a super-heavyweight. Even if you know your limits, you're dead no matter what.
  • I like my women how I like my calculus: With limits.
  • I failed a Calculus exam today. I think I've finally found my limits.
  • Baby you make me wish I was good at calculus. Cauz they ain't no limit to how much I want to define the area under your curves.
  • father in law just made an accidental calculus joke By the time I got to calculus in math, I realized I had reached my limit.
  • I'm really struggling in math class. I've always been really good at math, and I guess I figured I could handle whatever was thrown at me.
    But Calculus is really making me find my limits.
  • What did the calculus student who failed his test and the guy who got a speed ticket have in common? They didn't know their limits
  • Why did Newton invent calculus? He wanted to test his limits.
  • Calculus is my Limit.

Calculus Math Jokes

Here is a list of funny calculus math jokes and even better calculus math puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Math joke My Calculus teacher told me:"Degrees are essentially useless in this class, we will use radians instead."
    I replied:"Is that why you're teaching Calculus?"
  • Did you hear about the math teacher... ...who used a ladder to solve a calculus problem written at the very top of his blackboard?
    He really rose to the equation.
  • I was so busy with maths homework that I didn't brush my teeth for a week The calculus had built up, and it was starting to get quite hard.
  • Why did the math teacher get fired? He couldn't differentiate the branches of calculus.
  • Why are dentists so good at math? Because they study *calculus*.
Calculus joke, Why are dentists so good at math?

Silly & Ridiculous Calculus Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What funny jokes about calculus you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean calculations jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make calculus pranks.

Why did the hippy teach the lumberjack calculus?

So he'd use natural logs!

What's the worst aspect about Calculus teachers?

They always go off on tangents in class.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Have you heard about the calculus professor who tried some bad amphetamines and ended up believing he was a moth?

It's the old m**... math moth myth.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

The instructions said if my e**... lasts longer than four hours to see a doctor...

My calculus professor was no help at all.

I learned a lot of Mandarin in just one semester!

Though I could have sworn the syllabus said "Calculus 2".

A student calls his college to enrol in a calculus course...

A student calls his college and says "I want to take calculus, but the system won't let me enrol". The woman on the other line looks at his record and says: "it looks like you're already taking a full course load! don't you know what the limit is?", to which he replies:
"That's what I'm trying to find!"

I was sitting in calculus class, and the teacher asked us how we can ideally take the derivative of a logarithm...

I said," I like my logarithms like my women, all natural".

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

How do calculus students feel about undefined s**... in Cartesian planes?

Indifferential.

I didn't fail my calculus test....

I just gave "alternative" answers on a few problems.

Sometimes I do things to children that they're too young to understand...

...such as teaching them calculus and microbiology.

What kind of calculus do frogs use?

Der - ribbit - tives

As an IT student who failed calculus twice....

... to this day I have Vieta flashbacks.

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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Why did the k**... fail calculus?

Because they hated integration so much.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Why do Americans s**... at calculus?

White people have never been good at integration.

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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Why is the south bad at calculus?

They don't know how to integrate.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Why don't white supremacists take calculus in high school?

They don't want to see integration in their schools

How did Isaac Newton formalize calculus?

He went out on a lim.

A Calculus student is stuck in traffic...

After waiting 20 minutes with little movement, he decides to catch up on his homework. 5 Minutes in, he feels thirsty and realizes he has an unopened bottle of Coke in his backpack. He takes it out and opens it. However, as soon as he takes his first sip, a nearby police car start flashing it's lights and orders him to pull over to the side. When the cop reaches his car, the student asks:
"What am I being stopped for?"
The cop answers:
"Drinking and deriving."

Why are pirates the best at calculus?

Because a true pirate never forgets the C .

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Why are you not allowed to do calculus intoxicated?

It's i**... to drink and derive.

I knew calculus would kill me some day

... I should have seen the warning sines.

My friend was drunkenly doing his calculus homework

You shouldn't drink and derive, I told him.
Cr

Apparently Newton wasn't the first to invent calculus, it was Leibniz.

So Newton's work was merely derivative

Don't date a calculus teacher

They're gonna replace u

I had a really good discussion with my calculus professor today

but after a while, it started going off on a really weird tangent.

Calculus has a steep learning curve...

But at least you know exactly how steep the learning curve is!

There was a young man weeping

The man was sitting at a library table
A young lady approached him and asked what was wrong
He replied It's complicated
And showed his calculus homework

What do you call a wizard who is good at calculus?

A mathemagician

Calculus walks into a bar.

He sits down and orders a pint. The barman notices him scribbling some notes on a napkin and asks what he's writing.
Calculus replies, "Oh this... I'm just working on a new formula..."
"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave." says the barman, "I can't let you drink and derive".

There are many problems with math puns.

Calculus jokes are mostly derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic.
But the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.

How to stay in class

A college student walks into a bar and orders a beer. "What a day. Our calculus instructor has to be one of the most difficult professors on the campus," the student says. "If she wasn't so drop-dead gorgeous I would have dropped the class already." "So I guess you could says she's easy on the eyes," the bartender says. "But hard on the pupils?"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague.

"Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

why did newton die a v**...

Because he wasn't integrals (into girls) (he invented calculus)

Calculus joke, I suppose we should have seen the Newton-Leibniz conflict coming.

jokes about calculus