Calculus Jokes

Check out these calculus jokes, perfect for math teachers, students and anyone who loves math! Laugh your way through the derivative, the tangent, the trigonometry and more. Get ready to discover math humor related to calculus, whether it be flirty, love, or birthday related.

Silly & Ridiculous Calculus Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

I failed my calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins.

I couldn't differentiate between them.

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing! You can't cross a vector with a scaler.
(Great math joke that came up in Calculus the other day)

Why did the hippy teach the lumberjack calculus?

So he'd use natural logs!

How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?


jokes about calculus

My teacher took off points when I spilled my juice on my Calculus homework...

... Apparently, I shouldn't drink and derive.

Did you know that calculus was never taught in southern schools before the 1960s?

They didn't believe in integration.

Got pulled over while doing calculus in my car last night

Cop said I was deriving over the limit.

Calculus joke, Got pulled over while doing calculus in my car last night

I heard the new Calculus movie was rated R

It contains graphic content

Why did the calculus students get arrested?

For drinking and deriving.

Why aren't there any Calculus teachers in Little Rock, Arkansas?

Because everyone there hates integration.

I just saved 15% or more on my Calculus test...

by switching to radians.

You can explore calculus tangent reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean calculus trig dad jokes. There are also calculus puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Math puns are boring

Algebra puns are too linear, arithmetic puns are too basic, trigonometry puns are too graphic, calculus puns are all derivatives. Only the statistic puns are the occasional outlier.

White folk hate math.

Especially when they heard in Calculus they'd have to integrate.

TIL several states in the South banned calculus from schools in the 1950's.

Apparently they opposed integration.

I learned a lot of Mandarin in just one semester!

Though I could have sworn the syllabus said "Calculus 2".

A student calls his college to enrol in a calculus course...

A student calls his college and says "I want to take calculus, but the system won't let me enrol". The woman on the other line looks at his record and says: "it looks like you're already taking a full course load! don't you know what the limit is?", to which he replies:

"That's what I'm trying to find!"

Calculus joke, A student calls his college to enrol in a calculus course...

How do you use calculus in real life?

You integrate it

Did you hear about the math teacher...

...who used a ladder to solve a calculus problem written at the very top of his blackboard?

He really rose to the equation.

When writing your calculus exam, make sure you don't sit between twins.

Because you might not be able to differentiate between them.

Alcohol and calculus don't go together very well.

Don't drink and derive.

Remember alcohol and calculus dont mix

So don't drink and derive

Math joke

My Calculus teacher told me:"Degrees are essentially useless in this class, we will use radians instead."
I replied:"Is that why you're teaching Calculus?"

Why don't Calculus majors throw house parties?

Because you should never drink and derive.

Man I really hate calculus.

It just derives me crazy

I'm tired of people ripping on calculus all the time.

It derives me crazy.

Calculus should be taught in every high school around the world.

It is such an integral field of math.

Calculus joke, Calculus should be taught in every high school around the world.

Did you know that people who dislike calculus are typically racists?

They hate integration.

Our school should start a calculus club

We would all derive fun from it

Why doesn't Alabama have calculus teachers.

They don't like integration.

I'll do algebra, I'll do trigonometry, I'll even do statistics...

But graphing is where I draw the line!






Actually, graphing is fine, but calculus is my limit.

Why is teaching calculus so difficult in the South?

They hate integration

You can't solve every problem with calculus

It has its limits

Drinking alcohol is like calculus.

You have to know your limits.

Why are the southern states so bad at calculus?

Because they have trouble whenever they try integration.

I like my women how I like my calculus:

With limits.

College calculus is like a drinking game against a super-heavyweight.

Even if you know your limits, you're dead no matter what.

A group of people were hospitalised after a calculus midterm.

The cops said they were drinking and deriving.

Why did the k**... fail calculus?

Because they hated integration so much.

Why do Americans s**... at calculus?

White people have never been good at integration.

I asked a friend if I could copy his calculus homework

He told me to know my limits

Why is the south bad at calculus?

They don't know how to integrate.

Why don't white supremacists take calculus in high school?

They don't want to see integration in their schools

My girlfriend is like an advanced calculus class.

I don't have a clue what's going on but seems like those others guys are getting it.

A Calculus student is stuck in traffic...

After waiting 20 minutes with little movement, he decides to catch up on his homework. 5 Minutes in, he feels thirsty and realizes he has an unopened bottle of Coke in his backpack. He takes it out and opens it. However, as soon as he takes his first sip, a nearby police car start flashing it's lights and orders him to pull over to the side. When the cop reaches his car, the student asks:

"What am I being stopped for?"

The cop answers:

"Drinking and deriving."

Why don't they teach Calculus in the Deep South?

Because they don't like integration.

A pub near my house has a calculus trivia night

They want their patrons to drink and derive

Why are you not allowed to do calculus intoxicated?

It's i**... to drink and derive.

My whole family bonded over math. Calculus was our religion. Except my grandfather...

...he was against integration.


When God integrated Planet Earth, he thankfully recalled his Calculus lesson.

He remembered to add the sea.

why do white supremacists hate calculus?

It really pushed their *limits* on *integration*

Don't date a calculus teacher

They're gonna replace u

There is a good chance you'll fail your calculus exam if you are sitting between identical twins.

Because it's hard to differentiate between them.

Calculus jokes

should be an integral part of this sub

Calculus has a steep learning curve...

But at least you know exactly how steep the learning curve is!

The problem with math jokes

Calculus jokes are derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are too formulaic but arithmetic jokes are just basic.

The outlier is the occasional statistics pun.

There was a young man weeping

The man was sitting at a library table

A young lady approached him and asked what was wrong

He replied It's complicated

And showed his calculus homework

What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it?

Calculus homework.

What do you call a wizard who is good at calculus?

A mathemagician

Why don't calculus teachers go to bars?

Because they don't want to drink and derive.

dolphins doing calculus be like

(eα΄±)' = Eeα΄±

If you want to pass your calculus exam, don't sit in between two identical twins.

It's very hard to differentiate between them.

Calculus walks into a bar.

He sits down and orders a pint. The barman notices him scribbling some notes on a napkin and asks what he's writing.

Calculus replies, "Oh this... I'm just working on a new formula..."

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave." says the barman, "I can't let you drink and derive".

There are many problems with math puns.

Calculus jokes are mostly derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic.

But the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.

I was so busy with maths homework that I didn't brush my teeth for a week

The calculus had built up, and it was starting to get quite hard.

Alcohol and calculus don't mix.

Don't drink and derive.

How to stay in class

A college student walks into a bar and orders a beer. "What a day. Our calculus instructor has to be one of the most difficult professors on the campus," the student says. "If she wasn't so drop-dead gorgeous I would have dropped the class already." "So I guess you could says she's easy on the eyes," the bartender says. "But hard on the pupils?"

A completely new joke about calculus.

Never mind, actually it's just derivative.

"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague.

"Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."

What did the calculus professor say when he saw his students at the bar?

Don't drink and derive.

You shouldn't take calculus after alcohol

It's irresponsible to drink and derive

My 5 year old son found videos meant for adults only...

...but he obviously couldn't understand the advanced calculus lectures from my university, so he stopped watching.

why did newton die a v**...

Because he wasn't integrals (into girls) (he invented calculus)

I failed Calculus when we reached differentials...

I guess I should have known my limits. I could barely derive anything from what the teacher taught us.

I failed my calculus exam because I was sitting between two identical twins.

It was impossible to differentiate between them.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the calculus teachers puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working calculus calculus derivative piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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