Following is our collection of funny Calculator jokes. There are some calculator cosecant jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these calculator sudoku puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
The only numbers that seem to work are 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. It's very odd.
On the plus side, it still worked.
He was invited to thunday math.
Calculator!
...but then I realized I don't care how many pockets I have.
There was a sin tax error.
[8.5]
There's just something about him that doesn't add up.
and then I thought who care how many pockets I have
What I need is a calcunow
But Its What's On The Inside That Counts.
As I tried to explain to her how a calculator works.
She's also stupid.
You can explore calculator compute reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean calculator protractor dad jokes. There are also calculator puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
everyone is counting on them.
Something fishy that doesn't quite add up.
It's called a calculator.
Because I can always count on it.
Math teacher: why are you making noise
Girl: my calculator isn't working so I'm banging it to make it work
Math teacher: the calculator's gonna break, how would you like it if i banged you on the table
Whole class: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
The numbers just weren't adding up.
Some would say it functions perfectly.
- She couldn't find the "10" button.
it was graphic
You can always count on them.
That's a big plus.
A friend you can count on.
Dad: Give me one reason why I should agree
Kid: California starts with Cal
Dad: And?
Kid: Calculator also starts with Cal
Dad: What does that mean?
Kid: It all adds up
It just doesn't add up.
The interviewer asked, what's 1 + 1.
The engineer draws up a plan and does some measurements and says. It appears that 1 + 1 is 2 .
The lawyer takes out his law book, checks all the rules then says according to the law, 1 + 1 is 2 .
The accountant takes out his book and calculator. Does a few calculations then whispers to the interviewer, What do you want the number to be?
In this company, you need to be able to calculate fast without calculator
I'll give it a try. Test me
What is 35 x 47?
The man answers quickly 476
That's not even close
Yeah but thats fast
2nd Man: Oh, only on special equations.....
For the calculator at least I can still count on it.
Because you can always count on it.
In fact, I was counting on it.
The police officer asks him to let him check his backpack. The guy obliges. In his backpack, the officer finds some textbooks, a calculator, a compass and a ruler.
"Aha!", shouts the policeman, "as I suspected. You are under arrest!"
"But why?" the guy protests.
"You have been caught in procession of weapons of math instruction!"
A Calcu-now.
but it's what's inside him that counts!"
A calcunow
"Well", said Tim Cook, "that's because the iPhone replaces a whole bunch of devices. A phone, a camera, a watch, a music player, a video player, a PDA, a voice recorder, a GPS navigator, a flashlight, a calculator, a portable gaming console, and many other things. Surely, a high price is worth paying to replace so many devices!"
"Then why are Androids so much cheaper?", asked the journalist.
"Because," said Tim Cook, "an Android replaces just one device. The iPhone."
1. Pluto is a planet
2. You won't always have a calculator in your pocket
3. Girls don't like having their hair pulled
A project manager.
He had to pay in order to use additional features
The results will speak for themselves.
My 12-year-old daughter made this up.
She said she got a calculator app for her phone but it didn't give a plus key unless she paid additional fees.
During a job interview, the interviewer asked me if I had any impressive qualities? I said, "Yes, I'm very fast with math!" Suspicious he asked me to prove it. He told me to solve 327x49. I said 34,567! He pulled out his calculator and put it in. With a confused look on his face he says, "That's not even close!" I said, "Yeah, but it was fast though!"
No idea where the original came from but this one gets me every time.
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods when they came upon a bridge across a crocodile infested river.
The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer "What are the odds of us making it across that bridge safely?" The engineer took out his calculator and his tape measure, did a structural analysis and said "99.97% chance we'll make it across that bridge safely.
The anti-vaxxer responded, without even thinking "Forget that, I'm swimming!"
Roses are red,
I like Darth Vader.
Poetry is hard,
calculator.
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods when they came upon a bridge across a crocodile infested river.
The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer "What are the odds of us making it across that bridge safely?" The engineer took out his calculator and his tape measure, did a structural analysis and said "There is a 99.97% chance we'll make it across that bridge safely.
The anti-vaxxer responded, without even thinking "Forget that, I'm swimming!"
The FBI charged her with weapons of math instruction.
They really threw the book at herβ¦
A calcunow
Its days are numbered
Times were tough
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the calculator subtract jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working calculator trigonometry piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.