Following is our collection of **funny Calculate jokes**. There are some calculate radicals jokes no one knows (*to tell your friends*) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these **calculate calculator puns** funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

**Snake:** Pssst! want an apple?

**Eve:** No thanks, I do not sin.

**Snake:** What's the length of the opposite side of a 30° right triangle with a hypotenuse of 20?

**Eve:** 10

**Snake:** Thanksss

**Adam:** How did you calculate that?

**Eve:** Oh no.

The live-action remake of Up.

...because although my grade falling, at least I can calculate it's velocity.

How do you calculate the escape route of a jew?

Chimney Height * Strength of wind

He says to the priest: 'Father, I have a sin to confess'

The priest says: 'Don't worry, tell me and the lord will see if he can forgive you'

The mathematician says: 'I used the opposite side instead of the adjacent to calculate cos.'

Al-gore-ythms

Calculate the area it will cover after the explosion.

Ahmed has 5 bags. If he gives 2 to Mohamed and 1 to Jamal. Then calculate the radius of the blast.

Ahmed has 3 lunch boxes.

He gives one to Mohammed and another to Hassan. Calculate the radius of the explosion.

Only a Sith deals in absolutes

Still dont know what she's trying to calculate the velocity of...

You can explore calculate function reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean calculate accelerate dad jokes. There are also calculate puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Sprigonometry

Calculate the radius of the explosion

(Note: stole this from Yik Yak)

But for the life of me, i cant figure out why she wants to calculate velocity

Logger-rhythms.

I still don't get it why she wants to calculate the velocity

... she's trying to calculate speed

I think that's about half right

Mr. James: My Wife Needs A Pair Of Jeans. But I Don't Remember Her Waist Size.

Sales Girl: You Can Touch My Waist And Try To Calculate.

Mr. James: Oh I Forgot. She Also Needs A Bra.

Cuckulus

Dear Maths, I'm sick & tired of finding your 'X' she's gone dude and don't ask 'Y'

pizza

Every time I try, I go off on a tangent.

Me: I can't remember how to calculate sine

Friend: ah

Me: No that's cosine

Friend: oh

Me: Right, thanks!

Is she trying to calculate velocity?

I think she wants to calculate velocity.

gain several inches

Only a sith deals in absolutes.

They use QuickieBooks

What do you use to calculate a cow?

Me: a cowculator

Fast 10: Your Seatbelts

Abdul has 3 lunch boxes.

He gives one to Rafiq and another to Hassan.

Calculate the radius of the explosion.

But I just got mad.

I think she wants to calculate velocity…

Depends on the scales.

.... and then it dawned on him.

"Well...," a friend replies, "...I'm going to be honest with you: you should take advantage of that, she's not for you. She is seeing other guys, she even had an affair with me, your best friend! I'm glad she said that. How did she start the conversation?"

The other guy stays speechless for a while. "she... was studying for a test, for physics. She needed random numbers to calculate velocity."

In this company, you need to be able to calculate fast without calculator

I'll give it a try. Test me

What is 35 x 47?

The man answers quickly 476

That's not even close

Yeah but thats fast

This is called finding the hippotenuse.

A mathemortician.

They commit math genocide on a daily basis.

A Methematician

Because there is always a rounding error.

The anti-vaxxer asks "What are the odds of us making it across the bridge safely?"

The engineer replies "After a careful structural analysis, I calculate a 99.7% chance of crossing this bridge safely."

The anti-vaxxer then says "Forget it, I'll swim."

When your SO asks for distance and time, but you don't know what speed she needs to calculate.

Daughter: Why are you so mean!

Me: Well, I consider myself to be above average.

Daughter: What's that mean?

Me: I suppose I could assign each letter a value and then add them up and give you the mean.

Daughter: Are you crazy?

Me: No, that's how you calculate the mean.

Daughter: I don't know what that means.

Me: I don't know yet either, I have to calculate it.

Daughter: Ugh, why do you have to be like this. I'll be home at eleven.

Game, set, match, Dad wins.

My teacher insists that pi r squared is how to calculate. But everyone knows that Pie are round.

Happy pi day!

The European is visiting the United States for the first time: So how many cents in a dollar?

The American: 100, of course

The European: 100? Why not 62, or 37?

The American: 62? What are you talking about? It's 100. Of course, it is. It's a nice round number and easy to calculate. 62? You crazy Europeans.

The European: Right, gotcha. Thank you! So how many feet in a mile?

The American: Go back to Europe!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the calculate reckon puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working calculate tangent piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.