Calc Jokes
81 calc jokes and hilarious calc puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about calc that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Do calculus problems have you stumped? Check out this hilarious list of jokes about pre-calc, integral calc, calculators, pixels, and chemistry! With these funny jokes, even the toughest problem won't seem so bad.
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Funniest Calc Short Jokes
Short calc jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The calc humour may include short calculator jokes also.
- What did the lazy algorithm say to the next iteration upon receiving an interim result? Calc you later!
- I WAS at my y' = 0 of performance in calc Context: in university now. Can confirm. Am failing.
- Had to take a drug test for Calculus. Had to take a drug test for Calc. 2
It was a P-test.
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Calc One Liners
Which calc one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with calc? I can suggest the ones about pixel and chem.
- How do mathematicians say goodbye? Calc u later!
- What do you call a computer that does math really slowly? A calc you later.
- What did the computer say to the group of numbers? I'll Calc You Later
- The worst part of taking calc class Every day, I deal with my e^x
- What did the abacus say to the adding machine? Calc you later!
- What do you say to a math problem you really don't want to do? I'll Calc-you-later.
- What does an abacus say when it leaves? Calc-u-later
- Integrating with cossin Legal in Calc class and in Alabama.
- What's a calc student's favorite food? integgrolls
- Seven went up to nine and said "I'll calc ya later" Then 7 Eight 9.
- What is that bad smell in Calc Class? P U-Substitution!
- What did the tired t**...-84 say to the integration formula? Meh, I'll calc you later.
Quirky and Hilarious Calc Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about calc you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean equation jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make calc pranks.
What would you get if you calculated the rate at which approx. 350 tonnes would fall from approx. 30,000 feet?
The live-action remake of Up.
I think my calculator is broken...
The only numbers that seem to work are 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. It's very odd.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Four Original Math/Science Jokes
1. Yo momma's so mean her Z-score is zero!
2. What do you do with a high concentration bomb?
You diffuse it.
3. Why was X mad at the IRS?
He couldn't list Y as his dependent
4. Why did the students do well on the hard calc test?
Because the grade was on a curve
Did you know that calculus was never taught in southern schools before the 1960s?
They didn't believe in integration.
How was calculus taught in the Deep South prior to integration?
If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 mph...
...you're going to get a speeding ticket.
Why did the calculus students get arrested?
For drinking and deriving.
Why aren't there any Calculus teachers in Little Rock, Arkansas?
Because everyone there hates integration.
My calculus professor recently divorced his wife ..
.. one day he simply told her "I'm making a you substitution".
I saw my calculator hitting on someone the other day.
He's a real casionova
Why did the calculator pay $100 for a pack of cigarettes?
There was a sin tax error.
[8.5]
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why don't you take two calciums to the bathroom?
The go c**...
What did the calculus student who failed his test and the guy who got a speed ticket have in common?
They didn't know their limits
How do they calculate global warming?
Al-gore-ythms
What happens when a calculus teacher with one arm can't figure out a proof?
He gets stumped.
Why are calculators grey and boring?
Cause it's what's on the inside that counts!
How do you use calculus in real life?
You integrate it
Calculators are useless
What I need is a calcunow
What did one calculator say to the other when it was time for it to leave?
Aight I'll calcu-lata
Calculated the angle in the triangle to be 45 degrees
I think that's about half right
In calculus class we just finished revolutions of solids
It made my head spin.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Microsoft has developed a special version of the Halo 3 rendering engine which can run within LibreOffice Calc spreadsheets...
It's called Halo3.**ods**t
Calculators May Be Ugly On The Outside
But Its What's On The Inside That Counts.
How much calcium is in a kiss?
Enough to make a bone hard.
I've done some calculations, and I figure, that at my current rate of pay I could live happily for the rest of my life.
If I died tomorrow.
Why was the calculator salesman happy when he sold his cheapest calculator?
Because they all add up!
Being a Calculator must be a huge responsibility...
everyone is counting on them.
Why don't Calculus majors throw house parties?
Because you should never drink and derive.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do calculus students feel about undefined s**... in Cartesian planes?
Indifferential.
Calculus should be taught in every high school around the world.
It is such an integral field of math.
I can never calculate the derivative of a curve.
Every time I try, I go off on a tangent.
My calculus teacher kept pulling up internet videos.
I really think he needed to stay on the straight and narrow; he went off on too many tangents.
i calculated my BMI recently, and i realised i need to
gain several inches
Calculators can be pretty unreliable
But you can always count on your hands
Calculators are reliable.
You can always count on them.
What does a calculus professor say about his pupils?
Their potential is limitless :)
Calculus is seriously aking an effect on my life
lol looks like absolute value of 0 to me now.
What do you use to calculate a cow?
What do you use to calculate a cow?
Me: a cowculator
I've calculated the name for the next Fast & Furious movie...
fast 10: Your Seatbelts
Why did the Calculus Professor go to jail?
He committed arcsin.
I was trying to calculate work...
But I just got mad.
A Calculus student is stuck in traffic...
After waiting 20 minutes with little movement, he decides to catch up on his homework. 5 Minutes in, he feels thirsty and realizes he has an unopened bottle of Coke in his backpack. He takes it out and opens it. However, as soon as he takes his first sip, a nearby police car start flashing it's lights and orders him to pull over to the side. When the cop reaches his car, the student asks:
"What am I being stopped for?"
The cop answers:
"Drinking and deriving."
My calculator stopped working and I don't know why...
It just doesn't add up.
How would you calculate the mass of crystals
using crystal maths
They said calculus would be integral to my education
I found it a little derivative.
How do you calculate the weight of a dragon?
Depends on the scales.
Why calculator
When you can calcunow
Calcium requires the least amount of work to mine.
Because it is commonly found 6 feet underground.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Have you ever calculated how much your wife or girlfriend costs you?
Then consider if it'd be cheaper to just get the occasional h**...?
Calculus jokes
should be an integral part of this sub
Calculus has a steep learning curve...
But at least you know exactly how steep the learning curve is!
What did the calculator say to his friend?
"You can count on me!"
Just kidding. Calculators can't talk.
How much calcium is there, in a women's breast?
Enough for me to grow an extra bone!
Why is the calculator a man's best friend?
Because you can always count on it.
My calculator broke again, but I'm not surprised
In fact, I was counting on it.
Calculus walks into a bar.
He sits down and orders a pint. The barman notices him scribbling some notes on a napkin and asks what he's writing.
Calculus replies, "Oh this... I'm just working on a new formula..."
"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave." says the barman, "I can't let you drink and derive".
Calculator app
My 12-year-old daughter made this up.
She said she got a calculator app for her phone but it didn't give a plus key unless she paid additional fees.
Who calculates the price of amphetamines?
A Methematician
According to my calculations, about 40% of Americans are Republicans
But that's just a Conservative estimate
Why did the calculator retire?
Its days are numbered
After calculations I found out that my wedding will cost $50k
Now all I need is $50k
and a wife
