The Best 20 Caffeine Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Caffeine jokes. There are some caffeine expresso jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these caffeine iced puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Caffeine Jokes and Puns

Sex with my wife has depreciated like Coca Cola

"Cocaine", "Caffeine", "Light" and now "Zero"

Inner Strength

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can resist complaints and excessively loud people,

If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs...

If you can do all of these things, then you are probably a dog

Knowledge is knowing that papers are best written with alcohol and edited with caffeine.

Wisdom is realizing that this does not make a Jagerbomb a study tool

Caffeine joke, Knowledge is knowing that papers are best written with alcohol and edited with caffeine.

Counting sheep

Bill: Gosh, you look really tired today.

Phill :I am. I didn't sleep at all last night.

Bill: I'm sorry. Too much caffeine?

Phill I don't know what it was. I just kept tossing and turning.

Bill : Did you try counting sheep?Β 

Phill: I did. But you know how it is. By the time you get up, drive all the way to the farm and then drive back, you're wide awake again

Caffeine is like my psycho girlfriend.

As long as we're together everything is great, but if I ignore it for one day, it tries to kill me.


What do you call someone who's addicted to caffeine?

Caffiend.

Today marks 4 weeks of isolation. Been running 2.5 miles a day, drinking 2 gallons of water, cut out ALL meat, sugar, dairy and flour. I feel great! Zero alcohol, a healthy vegan diet, gluten free, caffeine free, sugar free and a 30 minute home workout each day.

I have no idea who originally posted this, but I am really proud of them so I decided to copy & paste!

Caffeine joke, Today marks 4 weeks of isolation. Been running 2.5 miles a day, drinking 2 gallons of water, cut out

TIL that if you bang a rockstar..

It's way to much caffeine

When I was drinking my coffee, I heard on the radio that caffeine causes memory loss.

Yeah, right. Next time, they're probably gonna say that caffeine causes memory loss.

What do you call someone who doesnt drink coffee for caffeine or believe in religion?

A Teaist

My mom is a coke addict...

It's seriously tearing her apart, all the caffeine and artificial sweetner. It has to stop.

You can explore caffeine tea reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean caffeine redbull dad jokes. There are also caffeine puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I always thought District of Columbia was a weird name

Until I realized it probably has the highest rates of coffee and caffeine usage anywhere in the US

Balanced diet...

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
β€”Alex Levine

(Both a quote and a chuckle.)

I have a great idea for a breakfast cereal that will be high in both fiber and caffeine...

I'll call it "Wake me up before you go-go".

What is a caffeine addict's excuse for drinking coffee in the evening?

It's 8:00 somewhere!

Did you hear about the Native American that drank 400 oz of his favorite herbal caffeine in one sitting?

Nobody did, because he died drowning in his TeePee.

Caffeine joke, Did you hear about the Native American that drank 400 oz of his favorite herbal caffeine in one sitt

A cup of coffee just walked up to my girlfriend and called her a 'whore'. I didn't even react.

I think my caffeine tolerance is too high

You know I once knew a coffee addict

He died and was buried in a CAFFEINE

The machine poured me a diet coke with no caffeine in it.

That was just soda pressing.


Caffeine makes me so gassy...

... so I think Auschwitz to decaf

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the caffeine decaf jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working caffeine sprite piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes