Cafeteria Jokes
46 cafeteria jokes and hilarious cafeteria puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cafeteria that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Brighten up your lunch break with this collection of 101 jokes about school cafeterias and lunchroom scenes! Whether you're a kid or an adult, you'll definitely appreciate these humorous and pun-filled stories about the caf! Find out if Liz made it out of the Caf alive next time you take a break from your studies!
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Funniest Cafeteria Short Jokes
Short cafeteria jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cafeteria humour may include short restaurant jokes also.
- two astronauts are in the ISS cafeteria astronaut 1: i can't find the milk for my coffee
astronaut 2: in space, no one can. here, use cream - What does a school cafeteria and the KSI vs Logan Paul fight have in common? Their beef is fake
- The chemistry department cafeteria has good food, but finding a place to sit can be a challenge. They only have periodic tables.
- At my school, the cafeteria has "World Cuisine" day once a week, in which one foreign nation's traditional cuisine is on the menu. Last week, the country was Ethiopia... ...they served us nothing.
- A Buddhist monk walks into a cafeteria "Good morning Sir what would you like in your sandwich?"
"Make me one with everything" - Don't eat the vegetables in hospital cafeterias The police track you down after that, you see.
- At The Hospital I was sitting in the hospital cafeteria when the doctor approached me.
"I'm afraid your wife didn't make it," he said.
"I can tell Doc," I replied.
"This sandwich is gorgeous." - When I was a kid I used to find sweet notes in my lunch at school But that stopped after they fired the cafeteria worker
- I met this beautiful girl that just made me blush uncontrollably today. She pulled down my pants in the cafeteria and everyone laughed at my animal patterned underwear.
- A student walks into a cafeteria "I would have two sausages please"
"You're rich today, aren't you?"
"... and ten forks, please"
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Cafeteria One Liners
Which cafeteria one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cafeteria? I can suggest the ones about food court and restaurant menu.
- What did the caveman order at the cafeteria? A Club Sandwich
- What is The ISIS Cafeteria called? Allahu Snakbar.
- What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the cafeteria? Trey
- What's the Islamic equivalent of cafeteria Christianity? Allah-cart.
- What is today's special at Google's employee cafeteria? Alphabet Soup.
- What do the Millenials eat at the NASA cafeteria? Asstronaut
- My cousin used to work at a prison's cafeteria The work was grueling
- Today the cafeteria had an african theme And there was nothing to eat
- What do you call a cafeteria full of a fighting cannibals? A food fight.
- Why did the girl bring scissors to the cafeteria? She wanted to *cut* the lunch line!
- Why were all the ducks in the cafeteria? They were serving soup and quackers.
- Why do neo-n**... always order milk at the cafeteria? They hate the juice.
School Cafeteria Jokes
Here is a list of funny school cafeteria jokes and even better school cafeteria puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Lollypops On Fridays our school sells lollypops in the cafeteria. I bought 22 so that I can be sick and not have to come to school tomorrow! Works every time.
Cheerful Cafeteria Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about cafeteria you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kitchen jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cafeteria pranks.
God is watching
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE . God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large tray of hot dogs. The nun posted a sign on the hot dog tray, "Take only one. God is watching."
Further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the hot dogs."
Back in my hippie college days, a professor came up to me in the cafeteria and asked me, "Ya dig?"
I thought to myself, this guy's pretty far out. I answered, "Yeh, man. I dig!"
That's how I got hoodwinked into joining his archaeological expedition.
Two parents are arguing about whose child is the most s**....
"Mine is very s**...", says the first one. "And to show you what I mean: Hey son, take this dollar and go buy my a piano! You saw him! He's going!"
"Nah... mine is even more s**..." replies the second one. "Hey son, go to the cafeteria to check if I'm there. Check him out!! He left."
Later, the two sons meet up outside the cafeteria.
"Hey, my father is very s**..." says the first one, "He gave me this dollar to go and buy him a piano, and he didn't even tell me which brand he wants it!"
"That's so s**..., but mine is the most s**...! He asked me to go to the cafeteria to check if he's there. Like, he just cant call and check!"
One day, I asked my English Teacher, "Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation eg. the letter H ...in Hour, Honour. ...etc. ...??????
My English Teacher said, " We are not ignoring them; they're considered silent "....... (I was even more confused .....?????)
During the lunch break, my Teacher gave me her packed lunch and asked me to heat it in the Cafeteria.
I ate all the food and returned her the empty container. ....!!!!!!!
My English Teacher : What happened? I told you to go and HEAT my food, you are returning me an empty container.
I replied, "sir, I thought 'H' was silent.
An old man is walking through a crowded cafeteria...
Blocking the exit is a man with 14 children.
The old man scowls and makes his way through the children, but his metal cane hits some of the childrens' legs as well as the man's legs.
The man angrily says "Hey, could you put some rubber on that tip of yours! You're bangin' us up!"
The old man haughtily replies "If you had done that before then we wouldn't be in this situation!"
A seventh grader asked his English teacher a question in class
"Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation eg. the letter H .......in Hour, Honour. .....etc. She replied, "We are not ignoring them; they're considered silent."
During lunch break that day, the teacher gave the student her packed lunch and asked him to heat it in the Cafeteria. He ate all the food and returned her the empty container.
Shocked, she asked: "What happened? The boy replied: "Madam, I thought 'H' was silent.
I went to the hospital to visit my friend who had an accident.
While waiting in the waiting room, I felt hungry so bought some juice and 2 burgers from the cafeteria.
I was about to eat, when I saw a kid sitting on the chair beside me looking at me. I asked him if he was hungry. He nodded. So I gave him one of my burgers.
After a few minutes, his mother came and saw him finishing the burger.
She got real angry and started shouting.
"Who is the s**... person who gave him this burger. I drove 20 miles to get him tested on an empty stomach."
I
JUST
RAN.
Three Jewish guys are having a conversation about how reform their synagogues are…
The first man exclaims My synagogue is so reform that they serve shrimp and pork in the cafeteria
The second man exclaims My synagogue is so reform that they serve us shrimp and pork on Yom Kippur
The third man exclaims My synagogue is so reform that on Yom Kippur there's a sign on the door that says 'Sorry, closed for the holidays'
Credits to wherever my Grandpa read this…
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, "Take only one. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one.
God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Peter wakes up one morning
"I don't wanna go to the school!"
"Give me one good reason why you should stay home!"
"I can give you three: I don't like the school cafeteria's food, I don't like the teachers and I don't like the students"
"Well, Peter, I've already packed your lunch. You're 54 years old and the principal. GO TO WORK!"
While were at it, this is the joke I made up when I was 9
A football team is eating in the cafeteria and they're all waiting in line. Sean plays safety on the football team, and all of the sudden, he starts to cut the line!
Everybody is upset: "Why do you get to go ahead?" They asked.
Sean replied: "Safety First!"
Corny I know, but I was convinced I would be a comedian
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one.
God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Star Wars meat joke
As seen in the Death Star II cafeteria: "For those of you finding the Wookiee steaks a bit too Chewy, try our new Ewok Chops: Guaranteed to be more on the Endor side."
Q: Ice is no longer available in the drinks at the cafeterias at Oregon?
A: The senior who knew the recipe graduated.
