Caesar.
He came, he saw, and he concurred.
Caesar said:"I came, I saw, I conquered."
Casanova said:"I saw, I conquered, I came."
If you stab it enough.
Brutus: Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's.
Caesar: "I came, I saw, I conquered."
Khan: "I conquered, I saw, I came."
He holds up two fingers and says "Five beers, please!"
It becomes a Caesar Salad
Is offering his friends some delicious ancient roman pizza (because fuck logic, this is a joke). Everyone eats a single slice. Brutus sneakily eats another one.
Caesar catches him in the act and says
"Ate two, Brute?"
"8/2, Brute"
Julius Caesar walks into a bar. "I'll have a martinus," he says. The bartender gives him a puzzled look and asks "Don't you mean a martini?" "Look," Caesar retorts, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"
Chicken Caesar Salad
meaning I came, I saw, I conquered.
Which is probably useful for explaining why the strip club down the street now has the motto:
Veni, vidi, veni.
Roy Moore: Vidi, vici, veni.
Veni, Vidi... Veni.
Stab it a bunch of times.
Veni
Guess I shouldn't have ordered the Caesar salad
Caesar walks into a bar and orders a martinus.
The bartender says, "Don't you mean a martini?"
Caesar says, "If I wanted a double, I would have ordered a double!"
A young Julius Caesar and his friend Kevin were walking a Roman road. Caesar says "I'm really thinking about going all out this year and having a bust made of myself" to which Kevin
replied..."Ughh...Don't get a-head of yourself".
Chicken Caesar Salad
Because you have to be straight to be a good ruler
At two, Brutus.
Caesar!
Veni Vidi Veni
He died surrounded by all of his friends.
"Veni."
During Julis Caesar's campaigns against the Germanic tribes, he came across never before seen weather, it came crashing down on the men and stalled exit of the most recently conquered villages.
Amazed by this, he asks one of the local what it is.
"Hail, Caesar" The man replies.
Talk about getting stabbed in the back
A2, Brute?
"Hail, Caesar"
Chicken Caesar salad.
He wasn't keen on the Caesar. But he still et tu.
Caesar walks into a bar, and tells the bartender "I'll have a martinus."
The bartender says "Don't you mean a martini, sire?"
Caesar scowls, and says "If I wanted a double I would have said so!"
... and asks for a martinus. Puzzled, the bartender asks,
"Do you mean a martini?"
"No. Just one, please."
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Caesar? Well, here are the best Caesar dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Caesar pick up lines to share with friends.