The Best 47 Cable Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cable jokes. There are some cable broadband jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cable provider puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cable Jokes and Puns

In the past

Russian scientists dug 1000 mtr deep and found a copper wire.
They concluded:
1000 yrs back our ancestors were using copper cable technology ..

American scientists dug 2000 mtr deep and found optic fibre.
They concluded:
2000 yrs back our ancestors were using optic fibre technolgy ..

Indian scientist dug and found nothing. They concluded our ancestors were using Wireless Technology.!

4 big companies after me

John: Boss, I think you should give me a big pay raise, because I have four big companies that are after me.
Boss: And what four companies would be after a guy like you?
John: Well, light, gas, cable and telephone company!

A cable TV installer walks in to a bar and orders a beer.

The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between 7am and 2pm."

Cable joke, A cable TV installer walks in to a bar and orders a beer.

Stopped from going into a bar, dis is discrimination.

A brain and a jumper cable walked up to the bar, "I'm sorry , I can't serve you guys " said the barman,
Why? said the brain,

You're outta youre head and he is going to start something.

Facebook and basic cable

Reading Facebook feels like I'm watching basic cable in a hotel: All I want is Comedy Central, but all I can find is the Food Network, workout infomercials and Fox News.


I told my boss 3 companies were after me and I needed a raise to stay at my present job.

He asked which 3 were interested. I said the gas, electric and cable.

My 4 year old son almost ordered "naughty nurses" for $14.99 from cable on-demand.

Glad I stopped him, because I already own the DVD.

Cable joke, My 4 year old son almost ordered "naughty nurses" for $14.99 from cable on-demand.

How to ask for a raise

Employee: Sir, I really need a salary increment, 4 companies are after me.

Boss: Which 4?

Employee: Electricity, Gas, Cable, Credit Card.

How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away its USB cable.

I told my boss I needed a raise to stay at work because there are three different companies showing interest in me...

He asked me which companies and I told him, "The gas, electric, and cable ones"

The cable news networks tend to cater to different groups

Fox News is for right wings, MSNBC is for left wings, and CNN is for plane wings.

You can explore cable fiber reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cable warner dad jokes. There are also cable puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


How is a meditating monk and a fiber-optic cable similar?

Total internal reflection.

Two electricians are up on a pole

A granny walks by. One of the electricians shouts at the granny:

— Hey grandma, can you hold that cable that's on the ground next to you for a bit, please?

The granny picks up the cable. The same electrician then states to the other:

— Told you it was the ground.

I've grown bored of reality,

So I started watching cable news.

What did the audio visual cable say when it got 80% on its final?

HDMI

Trip to Norway

I took a cruise to Norway and brought along my SUV to explore the country for a few weeks. While unloading my vehicle from the ship, the cable broke, dumping the car into the water. Now I have a Fjord Explorer.

Cable joke, Trip to Norway

What made the cable guy late?

What made the cable guy late?

There was a cord-eal

Me: why'd we switch from Verizon to Time Warner?

Mom: Idk. You know your dad, he's charges cable companies like he changes underwear.

Me: so... every few years?

I put the USB cable in on the first try.

Wait, no I have to flip it.


How does clickbait work?

Just grab this electrical cable.

Then what happens?

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WILL SHOCK YOU!!!!!

My wife messed with my charging cable...

I was shocked.

Why couldn't the jumper cable start up his girlfriend?

She was on her deep cycle

I invited this woman back to my place. She says, "Do you have cable?"

I said, "I'm sure the rope will be plenty strong enough to hold you..."

Why did the cosmic horror cancel its cable service?

It switched to CtHulu.

Shark Week

I just got a notice from our cable provider about Shark Week.

Isn't that when Congress goes back in session?

My first (stupid) joke! What is it called when someone is murdered on a hillside cable car?

Funicular homicide.

A man rubs a bottle and a genie comes out,

The genie says to the man, "I will grant you one wish however, it must be within reason" The man thinks for a second and says "I want a dragon!" the genie replies "Are you mad? I said within reason!" Again the man thinks and finally speaks. "I wish for the ability to plug a USB cable in right every time." The genie thinks, then says,

What color do you want your dragon?

My dad told me this one.

He's a cable manager and often has to keep moving in his van/truck. One day he was driving in farm country and ran over a pig. He got out of the car to check on the pig and the pig was okay so he kept driving to his destination. When he got home, he got a call from a farmer.

"Hello?"

"I know you ran over ma pig"

"How did you know?"

"He squealed"

Always carry some fiber cable with you when hiking

If you get lost, just bury it in the ground. A backhoe will be along shortly to cut the cable, and you can ask for directions.

I asked a girl in a bar if she wanted to go home with me.

She said, Do you have cable?

I said, I think the ropes will be strong enough.

(I wish I could remember the name of the comedian who said this, live in a bar, circa 1993.)

What did the cable say when he was bullied by another cable?

"Wire you so mean!"

Question

Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on again?

Why don't salmon watch cable television?

They prefer streams.

I accidentally bumped into a little person yesterday.

I asked if he was OK and he said "I'm not happy". I said "well, which one are you then?" (Credit to Larry the Cable Guy)

How does heroin watch tv?

with a hdemi cable

A man died electrocuted when trying to steal a cable from power lines.

I guess he's a bad thief but a good conductor.

What type of cable does a cat own?

Comcats.

Yanni trips on a cable while performing with Michael Jackson. MJ runs up to him and asks

Yanni are you okay?

So Yanni are you okay

Are you okay Yanni

A teacher asks her student where the English Channel is located.

I'm not sure, the student answers, we switched cable companies last month.

Just spent the last hour watching a program about a cross-dressing high-wire daredevil...

I love watching cable T.V.

Stay safe lads

What are an electrician's last words?

"Hey, what is that cable used f..."

I caught my daughter chewing on an electrical cable.

So I had to ground her and kept her at ohm

She's doing better currently .

And conducting herself properly

I actually come from a parallel universe where Earth was destroyed by Larry the Cable Guy.

We called the event Arma-Git-R-Done.

I like my women the same way I like my lightbulbs.

Not too bright, easy to turn on, and suspended from the ceiling with electrical cable.

Today i got a wage increase unexpectedly.

I told my boss three companies were after me and I needed a raise to stay at my job. We haggled for a few minutes and he gave me a 5 % raise.

Leaving his office, he stopped and asked me, By the way, which companies are after you? I responded, The gas, electric and cable company.

I caught my daughter chewing on our neighbour's electrical cable...

Thankfully, they didn't press charges

But, I had to ground her and keep her at ohm

She's doing better currently

And conducting herself properly

But she's still on a short fuse, as there seems to be some confission as to what she did wrong.

I'm a screenwriter and I just signed an amazing 2-year deal with the parent company of Universal Pictures!

I'm going to be getting the basic cable plus HBO.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cable paypal jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cable larry the cable guy piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes