Cable Guy Jokes
17 cable guy jokes and hilarious cable guy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cable guy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Cable Guy Short Jokes
Short cable guy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cable guy humour may include short cable man jokes also.
- I actually come from a parallel universe where Earth was destroyed by Larry the Cable Guy. We called the event Arma-Git-R-Done.
- I accidentally bumped into a little person yesterday. I asked if he was OK and he said "I'm not happy". I said "well, which one are you then?" (Credit to Larry the Cable Guy)
- So I asked the cable guy, Hey, do you think you can hide those cables? He says, Yes, I think I conduit.
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Cable Guy One Liners
Which cable guy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cable guy? I can suggest the ones about cable and cable tie.
- Cable repair guy asked me what time it was It's between 8am and 1pm
- What made the cable guy late? What made the cable guy late?
There was a cord-eal - They just named a street after Larry the Cable guy in the city I live. Not funny blvd.
Heartwarming Cable Guy Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about cable guy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lighting guy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cable guy pranks.
No tie, no entry
Guy decides to go to a swanky new nightclub. He gets to the door and the bouncer stops him. "You have to have a tie to get in".
Guy goes back to his car to see if he has a tie laying around. No dice. So he takes his jumper cables and ties them around his neck.
Goes back to the door, bouncer looks him over, says "ok, you can go in, just don't start anything ".
A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar...
A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar. Immediately, the bartender walks up and says: "Hey! You guys can hang out here...just don't try and start anything."
4 big companies after me
John: Boss, I think you should give me a big pay raise, because I have four big companies that are after me.
Boss: And what four companies would be after a guy like you?
John: Well, light, gas, cable and telephone company!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Stopped from going into a bar, dis is discrimination.
A brain and a jumper cable walked up to the bar, "I'm sorry , I can't serve you guys " said the barman,
Why? said the brain,
You're outta youre head and he is going to start something.
Dress Code
A guy goes into a restaurant/lounge wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over for a few minutes and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in - just don't start anything."
A guy goes into a nice restaurant bar...
A guy goes into a nice restaurant bar wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission.
So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free.
He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over for a few moments and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in, just don't start anything."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tractor Accident
A guy named Matt was obsessed with tractors. He would enter tractor competitions, he would collect tractor figures, he loved tractors.
One day he decides to enter a competition, but this time he is the judge. To win the competition, the tractor has to pull as much weight as it can up a 30m hill.
As Matt was watching, the cable broke and swung around, hitting him in the leg. It was a very serious injury and the doctors told him he could never walk again.
A few months later, he meets the love of his life. They decide to go on a honey-moon to Vietnam. They were in a restaurant full of people smoking. Smoke was everywhere. His girlfriend started getting uncomfortable with the smoke, and wanted to leave.
Matt, being a gentleman, offered to help. He huffed, and puffed, he s**... all the smoke from the restaurant, ran outside, and blew it all out. Everyone was speechless. His girlfriend asks, "How did you do that!?".
"I'm an ex-tractor fan"
The Post Office
I went for a job at the Royal Mail sorting office yesterday. After the interview I was given a tour of the depot.
I asked the guy taking the tour "What's that machine?"
"That's the Acme 3000 Auto Sorter System. It can sort 150,000 letters an hour and it's 99.5% accurate. It's controlled by 12 supercomputers, each of which is 5000 times more powerful than an average desktop PC. It has over 15,000 state-of-the-art optical location identification sensors, contains enough circuit boards to entirely cover the pitch at the new Wembley stadium and it has 200 miles of fibre-optic cable. It cost over £100 million to develop," he boasted proudly.
"What happens to the letters after it's finished sorting them?" I asked.
"We give them to a bloke on a push bike."