The Best 60 Cabbage Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Cabbage jokes. There are some cabbage coleslaw jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cabbage tomato puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Cabbage Jokes and Puns
Everybody knows of Murphy's law, anything that can go wrong, will. But have you heard of Cole's Law?
It's usually just finely shredded cabbage.
What did the religous carrot say to the cabbage?
Peas be with you.
A man walks up to a counter and says . . .
A man walks up to a counter and says, "Gimme a kielbassi sandwich and a beer."
"Ah," says the person behind the counter. "You must be Polish."
The customer becomes irate. "Now, just a minute," he says, "I happen to take offense at that! Why are you assuming that just because I ordered a kielbassi sandwich and a beer I must be Polish?"
"Well-"
"If I ordered a plate of spaghetti, would you assume I'm Italian?"
"Well, no."
If I ordered corned beef and cabbage, would you assume I'm Irish?"
"No."
"Then why," said the customer, "are you assuming I'm Polish just because I ordered a kielbassi sandwich and a beer?"
"Well . . . this is a hardware store."
Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.
Lettuce pray.
Vegetables
What did the cucumber say to the cabbage when they got kidnapped by the tomato?
Lettuce go
My friend Robert showed me a cross between a cabbage and a turnip...
I said, "That's cool, Robbie!"
A cabbage and a carrot get into a race, who wins?
The cabbage, it's a head
What's the difference between a bag that you take onto an airplane and the vegetables grown in Bilbo's garden?
One is cabin baggage, the other is Baggin's cabbage.
"For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.." - Newton's Law
"Shredded cabbage and carrot make a great salad." - Cole's Law
Blind man and cabbage
A blind man walks into a bar with a cabbage on a lead.
The bartender asks him why he has a cabbage on the lead, Cabbage? he replies... "oh god dammit... i got ripped off ... i was told it a collie!"
Please enter your new password
WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
USER: cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.
USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow!
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER:ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIf
YouDontGiveMeAccessNow
WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.
You can explore cabbage lettuce reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cabbage cucumbers dad jokes. There are also cabbage puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
We all know Murphy's Law, but little is known of Cole's Law
"Shredded Cabbage."
A cabbage, a tap and a tomato had a race
The Cabbage was ahead, the tap was running and the tomato tried to ketchup
Bratwurst, Sauerkraut, Cabbage, Potatoes, Cheese, Beetroot, Onions, Bread, Butter.
Schindler's mom's list.
What does the cabbage merchant use to fix his cabbages?
A cabbage patch! - Sokka
Murphy's law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
A man named Eric Cole...
... discovered that there was a direct correlation between the amount of mayonnaise on his cabbage salad and how good it tastes.
He's calling this correlation Cole's Law.
What is the law that requires cabbage to be shredded and covered in a vinaigrette?
Cole's Law
Shredded cabbage tastes better than unshredded cabbage
Cole's Law
You guys ever heard of Murphy's law?
Murphy's law states that if anything can go wrong, it will go wrong.
You guys ever heard of Cole's law? Its thinly sliced cabbage with a vinaigrette, salad dressing.
Have you heard of Murphy's Law? It states that anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Have you heard of Coles Law?
It's thinly sliced cabbage.
What did they call the popular cabbage in Vegetable school?
Cool Slaw
What did the Christian Cabbage say before eating?
Lettuce Pray.
What's it called when someone is murdered by a cabbage?
Slaw-der.
I know. It's awful.
On my way to work, I saw a cabbage talking to a carrot
My drug dealer didn't lie
Laws
-Have you heard of Murphy's law?
-Yes, anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
-What about Cole's Law?
-No, what is it?
-Thinly sliced cabbage drizzled with mayonnaise and sour cream
What did the cabbages say to the other vegetables in the vegetable bin?
Lettuce in.
Cole's Law...
Thinly Sliced Cabbage
My favourite Russian joke.
3 soldiers are all sitting around bragging about their armies. A Russian, an Israeli and an American.
The Russian boasts, "In our army we get 500 calories of field ration per day."
The Israeli says, "We get 1000 calories a day for field ration."
The American says, "Well we get around 2000 calories a day for field ration."
The Russian blurts out, "That is bullshit, you can't possibly carry that much cabbage!"
Cole's Law
"Have you heard of Murphy's law?"
"Yeah."
"What is it?"
"If something can go wrong, it will go wrong."
"Right. Have you heard of Cole's Law?"
"No, what is it?"
"Thinly sliced cabbage."
(I remember hearing this from my dad, and to this day it makes me giggle like an idiot.)
Everybody's heard of Murphy's Law: "if something can go wrong, it will go wrong." However, few people know of Cole's Law...
It's thinly sliced cabbage and mayonnaise.
I went to Coles to buy a cabbage but apparently it's a legal requirement to buy mayonnaise and carrots too.
It's Coles Law.
You're surely familiar with Murphy's Law, but do you know what Cole's Law is?
It's a cabbage salad, often served as a side dish at a BBQ.
What is a taxi driver's favorite food?
Cabbage
The UK have just introduced a new law
Whenever you buy Mayonaise it's now compulsory that you buy Cabbage and Carrots with it. They're referring to it as Coles Law
Murphy's Law
Have you heard of Murphy's Law?
Yes, of course.
What is it?
Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
OK. Now have you heard of Cole's Law?
No, what's that?
Thinly sliced cabbage.
The principle difference's between Murphy's law and Cole's law
Murphy's law postulates that whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.
Cole's law primarily consists of thinly shredded cabbage, carrot and mayonnaise.
What's the difference between Murphy's Law and Cole's Law?
Murphy's Law is the idea of anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Cole's Law is just thinly sliced cabbage.
We all know what Murphy's law is (anything that can go wrong ultimately will). But do you know what Coles Law is?
It's shredded cabbage
Any leftover cabbage can and will be shredded and mixed with mayonnaise.
-Cole's Law
Have you heard of Murphy's Law?
Yes it's if something can go wrong it will go wrong.
Have you heard of Coles Law?
No. What's that?
It's finely shredded raw cabbage in a dressing.
Dad Knowing the Laws...
Dad: Have you heard of Murphy's Law?
Son: Yes, if something can go wrong, it will go wrong.
Dad: Yes! Have you heard of Cole's Law?
Son: Actually, no. What's that?
Dad: Thinly sliced cabbage.
A man goes to the doctor with a carrot in his nose, cabbage in his ears and ham over his eyes. What's wrong with me doc? He asks.
The doctor replies Well it looks like you're not eating right.
Murphy's Law states that anything that can happen, will happen. But are you familiar with Cole's Law?
It's finely-shredded raw cabbage with a salad dressing, commonly either vinaigrette or mayonnaise.
You know about Murphy's law (Anything that can go wrong will)? Well that's a lot different than Cole's law...
...which is chopped cabbage.
I had a dream I was attacked in my kitchen by a giant head of cabbage. I grabbed a knife and stabbed, hacked, and slashed at it, but it still kept coming! I threw a jar of mayonnaise at it, to no avail -- then I hurled a bag of carrots, but nothing would stop it! In the end...
I fought the slaw and the slaw won.
What do you call a German cabbage that's getting clean?
Shower-kraut
^I'm ^sorry..
Have you heard of Murphy's law? Ok, but have you heard of Cole's law?
It's thinly sliced cabbage
You may know Murphy's law, but have you heard of Coles law?
It is a side dish consisting primarily of finely shredded raw cabbage with a salad dressing, commonly either vinaigrette or mayonnaise.
Have you heard of Murphy's Law, that if something can go wrong, it will go wrong?"
Yes.
Well have you heard of Cole's Law?
No.
It's mostly cabbage.
Two elderly ladies meet at the laundromat after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health one asked how the other's husband was doing.
Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"
Oh dear! I'm very sorry." replied her friend "What did you do?"
I opened a can of peas instead."
Have you heard about Murphy's Law?
Have you heard about Murphy's Law? Yes.
Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
How about Cole's Law?
No. It's julienned cabbage in a creamy dressing.
If you buy cabbage from Coles you are legally obliged to buy carrots and mayo as well
It's called Coleslaw
Murphy's Law : If there's any way they can do it wrong, they will . But Cole's Law:
thats just cabbage.
Have you heard about Murphy's Law? Yes. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. How about Cole's Law?
No. It's julienned cabbage in a creamy dressing.
My girlfriend broke up with me for being too delusional.
But I don't think that I have that problem, right giant cabbage?
You know Murphy's Law. It's "If something can go wrong, it will", but do you know Cole's law? It's...
shredded cabbage, mayonnaise, maybe some carrot.
On the farm market
Customer: Is that cabbage genetially modified?
Farmer: Why are you asking?
Cabbage: Yeah, why are you asking?
Which vegetable tells us how old a taxi is?
Cabbage.
Surely you have heard of Murphy's Law?
Murphy's Law is simply "whatever can go wrong, will go wrong". But have you ever heard of Cole's Law?...
No? Well, cole's law is simply thinly sliced cabbage and carrots served cold with mayonnaise.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cabbage onions jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working cabbage leeks piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.