C Section Jokes
40 c section jokes and hilarious c section puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about c section that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest C Section Short Jokes
Short c section jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The c section humour may include short surgery jokes also.
- A woman walks into a library and asks for a book on childbirth. The Librarian says "Try over there in the C section."
- I was born by c-section and I turned out fine. Of course, whenever I park my car I have to climb out through the sun roof.
- I went to visit a friend at the hospital and the only parking spot was at the C section. I had to climb out of the car through the sunroof.
- I told my wife a joke about C-sections The joke wasn't great, but the delivery had her in stitches.
- I asked my mom if I was a C Section baby. She said yes but I wish you had been an A Portion.
- A man walks into a library and asks for a book about pregnancy. The librarian tells him it's in the C-section.
- My wife told me that having kids would help me open my life's perspective as a whole... ...but ever since the delivery all I can do is c-sections.
- [OC] Why can't an orchestra made of OB/GYN doctors ever get good enough to perform a concert? Because the C-section is always messy.
- What did the one doctor say to the other who hadn't done any C-section lately? Long time, No C.
*\*Can we improve it somehow or is it okay?* - My wife is p**... off at me... She told me how unhappy she is with her c-section scar and I tried to comfort her. Apparently "honey, don't worry, your t**... will cover it up" was not the right answer.
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C Section One Liners
Which c section one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with c section? I can suggest the ones about maternity ward and section.
- C sections are like the DiGiorno of pregnancy. Because it's not delivery.
- C sections. They really take it out of you.
- Why do fish always have c-sections? Because they can't have land sections
- Tiger Woods' girlfriend had a baby via C-section yesterday. He didn't make the cut.
- How do blind doctors deliver babies? With a can't c-section.
- What do a porcupine and a harbor have in common? Each birth is a C-section.
- I was born via C-section... Now whenever I leave my house I go through the window.
- They say pain is weakness leaving the body... Is that why my mom got a c-section?
- Where do you find the key of C in the grocery store? In the all-natural section
- What do you call a baby born feet first? a c-section.
- I wish I hadn't been born That's g**.... I wish I had been C-sectioned.
C Section Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about c section you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean childbirth jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make c section pranks.
What do you call an emergency C-section performed on top of a mountain?
A w**... with a view.
Child Birth
One woman turns to her friend and says, you've had a kid, what do you think is better, a natural birth or a C section? Her friend pauses for a moment and says, I'ts hard to say, i'm kind of torn.
Maternity Ward
So I was at a matetinity ward with my friend. His wife & him just had their first baby, and he told me to go buy a pizza to celebrate. I brought back a frozen Digiorno brand pizza. My friend got mad mad like what the heck this is frozen? I responded, Well your wife had a C-section so I got this because it's not delivery.
A woman gets a C section
What does the doctor say to the woman who has to get a c section?
There's not enough w**...!
Baby names
Right before giving birth, a woman carrying twins falls into a coma and has an emergency C\-section. When she finally woke up, she called the doctor over and asked about her children. "Oh, they're beautiful. You had a boy and a girl." the doctor says.
She begins to smile and asks "Wait, who named them?"
"Your brother" the doctor answered.
"Oh, no. Not my brother. He's an idiot! What did he name my daughter?"
"Denise" The doctor replied.
"Oh, that's not so bad" the mother replied. "What about my son?"
"Denephew"
A midwife calls a doctor
Doctor she's been in labor for 36 hours we need to do a c section.
Not so fast, says the doctor there's one more thing to try
He goes to the obviously pained mother to be and says what do you call maids in space.
After the woman gives him a blank stare the doctor says Vacuum cleaners
Upon hearing this joke the woman cringes so hard that she expels the healthy crying baby.
Releived the new mother says Thank you doctor but that's the worst joke I ever heard
The doctor smiled and said the punchline s**... but the delivery was perfect
In addition to asking presidential candidates for birth certificates, they definitely need to start asking this.
In a high school civics class, they were discussing the qualifications for becoming President of the United States. The requirements are pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen and at least 35 years old.
A blonde girl in the class piped up and began complaining about how unfair it was to require the candidate to be a natural born citizen. In her opinion, that made it impossible for many qualified people to run for the office.
She went on and on, wrapping up her argument with "What makes a natural born citizen more qualified to be President than one born by C-Section?"
A heavily pregnant Women and her husband are in a car c**...
They both fall into a coma and her twins are removed from the Mother's w**... by c-section.
5 months later the Mother wakes up from the coma and sees her brother by her bedside.
Immediately she remembers her pregnancy, 'are my babies ok?' She asks her brother.
'Yes they're absolutely fine, you had a boy and a girl and I have been caring for them' he exclaims.
'Have you named them?' the mother asks,
'Yes the girls name is Denise'
'And the boys?'
'Denephew'