The Best 12 Bystander Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Bystander jokes. There are some bystander spectator jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these bystander victim puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Bystander Jokes and Puns

A cop is confronted by a white guy with a gun and a black guy with a nerf bat. Who does he shoot first?

The bystander with the camera.

A buddhist goes to a hot dog stand and says...

"Make me one with everything."

When the guy hands him his hot dog, the monk pays and asks for his change.

The vendor replies, "Change comes from within."

Then the monk gets angry and pulls out his gun.

The vendor clamors "Whoa, whoa! What about inner peace?"

And the monk replies "this IS my inner piece."

Suddenly a bystander calls out. "I've called the cops! They'll be here any minute!"

The vendor, expecting the monk to flee the scene, is quite surprised to see that the monk makes no motion to leave, even as the sounds of police sirens fill the street.

"Aren't you going to run away?" he asks.

The monk shakes his head and replies, "Namaste."

Two men are arguing

Two men are arguing and shouting while a crowd gathered to watch. A by-stander asked a small boy, "What's going on here?"

The boy replied, "My father and our neighbor are arguing."

The by-stander asked, "Which one is your father?"

The boy answered, "That's what they're arguing about. "

Bystander joke, Two men are arguing

I was going to make a joke about the bystander effect

But somebody else probably already did that

Two turtles were involved in a head-on collision, the police turtle asked a bystander turtle how the crash happened?

The bystander turtle said, I don't know, it all happened so fast.


A drunk man walked into a bar.

As a bystander, I couldn't help but laugh as I watched a bruise form on his head.

Michael J. Fox was in a car crash...

...a bystander ran up to check if he was ok. "Yeah..." Michael said "I'm just a little shaken up"

Bystander joke, Michael J. Fox was in a car crash...

Over at Bethesda...

Some devs were arguing over the name of the next ESO expansion, annoyed by this a bystander exclaimed: Take it elsewhere! Now the name sticks

A person is drowning and yelling "HELP I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM"

A bystander tells him to shut up because he doesn't know how to swim either but he's not freaking out about it like the guy drowning.

A man was walking through town

A man was walking through town when he saw a crowd of bystanders watching a funeral parade. He asked a bystander what's going on. The bystander said that they're going to scatter the ashes of Clark Gable so he's truly Gone With the Wind.

Michael J Fox recently went to Naples.

A bystander noticed him and said to another, "Hey look, that guy's got a stammer!"

You can explore bystander unconscious reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bystander paramedic dad jokes. There are also bystander puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A bystander offered to give a bleeding man some blood.

When the EMTs asked him if he was sure his blood was compatible, he replied,

"O, positive."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the bystander scene jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working bystander passersby piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes