Buyer Jokes
10 buyer jokes and hilarious buyer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about buyer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Tickle your funny bone with these buyer jokes! Enjoy a laugh with jokes about cattle buyers, home buyers, owners, mileage and more in this roundup. Whether buying produce or a new car, these jokes bring a comedic perspective to the process.
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Unearthly Funniest Buyer Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What is a good buyer joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
In honour of my first cake day, here's a few of my favourite riddles. Feel free to try them on your friends.
Q: What gets bigger, the more you take away from it?
A: A hole
Q: What two words have thousands of letters in them?
A: Post office
Q: The maker doesn't want it, the buyer doesn't use it and the user doesn't see it. What is it?
A: A coffin
Q: What travels all over the world, but stays in the corner?
A: A stamp
Q: What runs all around a field, but doesn't move?
A: A fence
Q: What starts with E, ends with e and only has one letter in it?
A: Envelope
A doctor is selling his victims on the dark web. He shows up to the location and no one is there. The doctor waits for hours. When the buyer shows up...
They say "Thank you for your patients"
A man walks into a shop...
He sees three brains sitting on the table a regular brain, a republican brain and a liberal brain.
Buyer: how much is each brain?
The seller: the regular brain is 200 dollars the republican brain is 300 dollars
But this here the liberal brain is 15,000 dollars.
Buyer: Oh Lord why is the liberal brain so expensive?
Seller: well it's never been used before!
I'm 35 years old but because I'm an alcoholic who makes bad decisions, I have the liver of a 65-year-old.
I really don't know what to do, but I hope I can find a buyer with connections in the black market or else I'll have to just get rid of it before I get caught..
A car salesman is showing some fine cars for sale...
A car salesman is showing some fine cars for sale, and the buyer is looking at them.
"Well, this one is a fine 1951 Hudson Hornet," says the car salesman.
The buyer gasps, "A Hudson HORNET? Well, I wouldn't want to see a Hudson Wasp!"
The salesman brushes it off and shows him the next car, "this is a Porsche Spyder."
Again, the buyer is aghast, "what is with car companies naming them after insects?! What's next, a Volkswagen Beetle?!"
What's something that the inventor doesn't want, the buyer doesn't use, and the user doesn't know about it?
A casket
A man sells a dog.
The buyer asks, Is he healthy?
My dog is very healthy, the seller answers.
Is he smart?
My dog is very smart.
Is he loyal?
Yes, my dog is extremely loyal! I'm selling him for the fifth time already.
A big fat Texan goes to a ranch to pick out some cattle.
The owner lines them up and the buyer walks down the line until he sees one he likes.
He pulls out two pieces of bread and stuffs them in the cow's ears.
"Hey! .. What are you doing?" asks the owner. "Stop that!"
The Texan replies, "I can make my sandwich any d**... way I want!"
A clothing buyer is walking down the street in the Garment District one day...
...when she's approached by a f**.... The guy whips open his raincoat to expose his total nakedness. After the lady studied what was presented to her for a bit she looked up at the guy and asked, "You call that a lining"?
An ambulance was called to a local restaurant this afternoon.
When the paramedics walked in, the saw two men on the floor having seizures. The paramedics split up, each going to one of the men. Suddenly, both men stopped their convulsing. The paramedics asked if they were all right.
"Oh, we're fine. We both have epilepsy, but we don't let it interfere with our work. This always happens when we finalize a job."
"What do you mean."
"I'm a salesman for my company, he's the buyer for his. We just completed the deal, so we had to shake on it..."
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