The Best 55 Butts Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Butts jokes. There are some butts thicc jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these butts butt crack puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Butts Jokes and Puns

What has two butts and kills people ?

An assassin

Only trust people that like big butts.

They cannot lie.

Did you hear the one about the gay man on the patch?

Word is he's down to about four butts a day.

Butts joke, Did you hear the one about the gay man on the patch?

What do you call a group of men with flat butts?

Assless Chaps

(Meta) To all the people with disgusting "jokes" Guess what.........

Chicken Butts!

States are like butts

No one likes the flat ones.

Buttsex is a lot like spinach

If you're forced to have it as a child. You'll never enjoy it as an adult.

Thank you Daniel Tosh.

Butts joke, Buttsex is a lot like spinach

TIL there was a dinosaur that had three butts.

It was from the Triassic period.

Trying to catch the bus

A man is trying to catch the bus, hes running and everytime he almost makes it he stumbles and falls, the crowd on the bus is laughing their butts off, a lady opens a window and tells the man :" Please stop it, we will wee our pants" to which the man replies :" thats nothing soon you will sht your pants, because im the bus driver"

You know why elephants don't smoke?

they can't get their butts in the ashtray

I swear skinny people without butts eat the most...

They're bottomless!

You can explore butts butthead reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean butts vapist dad jokes. There are also butts puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

How are buttsex and asparagus the same?

If you're forced to have it as a child, you won't enjoy it as an adult.

Nice butts take my breath away...

I'm assmatic.

How do you know if Jeffrey Dahmer smoked?

They found butts behind his couch.

What do you call 6.02*10^23 butts?


My girlfriend wanted us to do it doggystyle

Apparently, sniffing each other's butts was not what she had in mind.

Butts joke, My girlfriend wanted us to do it doggystyle

Why can't you trust a person with two butts?

Because they're bi-assed.

Man was lying nude

Man was lying nude on the beach. A Sexy babe starts playing
on his butts.

Man: 'what r u doing ?'

Girl 'Playing TABLA '

Man turns other side & said,' can u play the flute '

I hate it when people put cigarette butts in urinals.

They get soggy and hard to lite.

Please don't throw cigarette butts in urinals.

It makes them soggy and hard to light.

Why smokers are sexy

Because they have butts

What do you call a statistician with two butts?


Did you know Jeffrey Dahmer was a closet smoker?

He kept the butts behind the couch.

Me and You both have butts

That's what I ASSUME.

My dad says this all the time about woman with large butts.

She's got an hourglass figure, with all 60 minutes at the bottom.

My gay friend decided he wanted to quit being gay...

So he bought himself a pack of nicorette patches and he puts them on his weiner. It's working pretty well, he's down to two butts a day.

What do you call treaty between two butts?


How do thicc physics majors show off their butts?

They torque.

I like my butts like I like my inner cities...

...with lots of crack.

What kind of contract killer has two butts?

An assassin

Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was a smoker...

They found a pile of butts behind his couch.

Ashtrays should be called Asstrays...

because its where you put your butts.

(I have been calling them asstrays all 28 years of my life. I only JUST today realized it.)

Just realised that the mirror on snow white is Sir Mix A Lot

Because it likes big butts and it can not lie...

I hate jokes about butts

They're so cheeky

Did you hear about the guy with two butts?

Turns out he was a little biased.

How are Egyptians, trains, and butts similar?

They've got toot in common.

People who are prejudiced have two butts

Because they are bi-assed.

What award did the cat who sniffed the most butts receive?


What piece of furniture does every person own?

A little stool up their butts.

I found an Onlyfans filled with videos of girls slamming their butts together

It's kinda weird, but I think they're just trying to make ends meet

My boss just referred to me as "A real pair of butts"

He said I am "A major ass set to the company"

What has 2 butts and kill people?

An assassin

A group of butts is walking. The smallest struggles to keep up.

Sorry, I'm a little behind.

My son, 9 years old told me these jokes on different days and I wrote them all down as he told them.

What did the the dancer say when he found proof:

he found evi-dance

What did the lazy person buy at the store?

A Nap-kin

What is a goldfishes favorite story?


What did the musician say when he was safe?

I'm safe and SOUND.

What do butts like to push best?


What dinosaur make the best music?

What does pizza hate to get?


What is it called when someone prefers boobs over Butts?


What has 2 butts and kill people?

An ass-ass-in

Laugh, damn it

What do you call someone who lights people's butts on fire?

An arsenist!

How do Australians clean their butts?

Bidet, mate.

What do you call British men without butts?

Assless chaps.

What do turtles say to themselves to calm down?

My 7 yr old: dad, I made up a joke and it's really funny.
Me: ok hit me.
Her: what do turtles say to themselves to calm down?
Me: mmm I dunno, what?
Her: in through your nose, out through your butt.
Me: …
Her: …
Me: …
Her: turtles breathe through their butts, dad.
Me: oh! Haha nice one. Wow. You're smart.

What did the ancient Egyptians wipe their butts with?


If butts didn't want to be laughed about

They wouldn't make so many fart jokes.

Did you hear about the two British guys who had their butts removed?

They were a pair of assless chaps.

Why does the ashtray tell the truth everytime someone uses it to put out a cigar?

It likes big butts and it cannot lie

(A real joke from my elementary-aged kid) Dad, did you know catfish can eat through their butts?

Me: Really?
Kid: Yeah, they're bottom feeders.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the butts butt jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working butts butt fucking piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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