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Button Jokes

131 button jokes and hilarious button puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about button that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover a hilarious collection of button jokes and puns, such as "What did Benjamin Button say when he wanted to unbutton his shirt?...Ctrl"! Enjoy belly button jokes, snooze button jokes, mute button jokes and more! Be sure to screenshot your favorite button joke!

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Funniest Button Short Jokes

Short button jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The button humour may include short menu jokes also.

  1. A younger chimp asks one of his elders what's a conditioned reflex. The older chimp says: "When I press this red button an idiot in a white coat will open that door and bring us some bananas."
  2. A man downloaded a calculator app, but needed to pay extra to unlock the plus button He had to pay in order to use additional features
  3. The iPhone X removes the home button. Meaning you'll be homeless on several different levels.
  4. Sociologists say that social media is creating the laziest generation ever. I expressed my opinion in great detail by hitting the Like button.
  5. Why did the bartender refuse to serve the accordionist? He had one too many buttons already.
  6. Why will button controlled remotes always be better than voice command? It goes without saying.
  7. Why did the accordion teacher get a job as an elevator operator? He knew how to push all the right buttons.
  8. What did the mexican do when he lost his car in the parking lot? He pressed hispanic button
  9. The Republican primary race should be called "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" It's way too long, and the protagonists are becoming more juvenile as it goes on.
  10. I heard 2k14 is so real that when you give the ball to kobe, the pass button stops working

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Button One Liners

Which button one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with button? I can suggest the ones about click and panel.

  1. simulation of monkey pressing button simulation complete
  2. What do prison and the Caps Lock button have in common? They both turn o into an O .
  3. What is green but turns red when you push the button A frog in a blender
  4. What do you call a Kia with push button start? Nokia
  5. What's the name of NASA's launch button? The "Space Bar"
  6. I saw a sign that said disabled toilet No one will help me find the button to enable it.
  7. What's in the middle of a jelly fish? His jelly button
  8. Just got offered a new TV with a broken volume button for £5. I couldn't turn it down.
  9. Why did the blonde burn to death? She couldn't find the snooze button on the smoke alarm.
  10. Why is the blondes belly button bruised? Her BF is blonde too
  11. Why can't bears watch tv? B/c they're always hitting the paws button
  12. V V
    Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
  13. I think my iPhone is broken. I clicked the home button but I'm still at work...
  14. What’s a cat’s favorite button on a DVD remote? Paws.
  15. Why couldn't the blonde add 10 + 5 on a calculator? - She couldn't find the "10" button.

Belly Button Jokes

Here is a list of funny belly button jokes and even better belly button puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A child gets a toy Ferrari stuck in his belly button... ... it wouldn't be a problem if it was an Audi.
  • You seem to like blonde jokes around here. Here is my favorite: Why did the blonde have such a terribly bruised belly button? Her boyfriend was blond as well.
  • I just read this strange new book about a dark blue star exploding out of a sailor's belly button It's a novel naval navel navy nova novel
  • ‪@Men‬..bet your female friend... ‪..that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button.
    You can thank me later.
  • What type of belly button does a car have? An Audi.
  • "Do you come here often", she asked... "No, usually in my belly button", I replied.
  • I'm not Catholic, but I've given up picking my belly button for lint.
  • What do you call a reptile with a belly button and a good sense of direction? A navelgator
    Thank you, thank you! I'm here all week!
  • Why is Helen Kellers belly button bruised? Her boyfriend is blind too.
  • So his wife got a new tattoo... ...of a dollar bill below her belly button. "Why on earth did you get that tattoo?" he said. She replied, "All you can eat under a dollar"

Button Elevators Jokes

Here is a list of funny button elevators jokes and even better button elevators puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Don't feel bad about pressing the close door button when you see someone running for the elevator. If they have that much energy, they should take the stairs.
  • What's the definition of a Russian elevator? A Chechen presses a button and five floors come down.
  • How do they call elevator in China? Well,on a button like everywhere else in the world
  • If a building has 12 floors and each one is named after a month, how do you call the elevator? By pressing the button
  • A man and woman get on an elevator. He pushes a button and says, I'm on the second floor—where are you going? She replies, to two too.
  • How do asians call an elevator? By pressing the button like everybody else.
  • Some people press the button in the elevator with their thumb and others press it with their index finger. Why? To get to the right floor.
  • Congratulations, If you press the elevator button three times it goes into hurry mode – really...

Shirts Button Jokes

Here is a list of funny shirts button jokes and even better shirts button puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Not saying we were poor, but many a time, my mother would send me next door with a button... ...and ask our neighbor if she would sew a shirt on it.
  • bad day today I put on my shirt, a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom!!
    Credit Rodney Dangerfield
  • It's been a rough morning. Picked up my coffee, handle came off. Put on a shirt, button came off. Grabbed my tool box, handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom!
Button joke, It's been a rough morning.

Gather Around for Fun Button Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about button you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mouse jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make button pranks.

I was trying to solve an equation when I realised that the minus button on my calculator was broken...

On the plus side, it still worked.

Apple employee pick-up lines.

"Are you a play button? Because I'd zero-length swipe that."

I pushed the happy button...

...I just made it depressed.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

In a recent online survey, 90% of men admitted to m**... regularly.

The other 10% hit the wrong button with their left hand.

Just out of curiosity, does anyone here use RES?

Because I'm really wishing that they'd changed the 'Hide Child Comments' button for the Chris Hansen AMA.

When I worked as Tech Support for an ISP I had a woman call outraged that we allowed "filth" on her computer...

After she calmed down slightly she explained that her 10 year old Granddaughter was sleeping over and they were having a "Spa Night" and did a web search on "Facials". . . .I was able to hit the mute button in time to avoid making matters far worse... True Story!

Two ladies are in the gym locker room ....

changing into their running outfits. One lady notices her friend's tummy and asks: "Sara, why is there wax in your belly button?" Sara says, "Oh, you'll never believe how romantic my boyfriend can be. He just loves to eat by candlelight."

Today just wasn't my day.

I got up this morning, put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. Finally leave the house for work and the doorknob comes loose and just breaks off.
I'm afraid to go to the bathroom..

A man brought some cookies to a party...

His friend approached him later during the party. He asked for the recipe to show his wife.
"You see, the secret trick is that I put the dough in my belly button to measure out the perfect size of each cookie," he tells his friend.
"That's absolutely disgusting," says the friend.
He answers, "Oh, you're not going to like the way I make donuts then."

I was telling my Asian friend about my phone

I told my Asian friend that was fresh off the boat about how I can push a button on my phone and tell it to do something and it does it. He said "That's just Siri"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Boy VS Girl Friends

A Girl is giving directions to her new boyfriend to get to her apartment.
She says: You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live and look for apartment 14A, and with your elbow push button 14A. Come inside and you'll find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14. When you get out of the elevator you'll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I'll open the door for you
The boyfriend says: Dear, that sounds very easy to find, but why am I hitting all these b**... with my elbow ?
Oh my God!! You're not coming empty-handed, are you?

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

p**... Training

Little Johnny was just being p**... trained and his mom tried this new method with 6 steps:
1. Unbutton pants
2. Pull pants down
3. Pull f**... back
4. Pee
5. Push f**... forward
6. Pull pants up and button up
She walked past the bathroom one day and heard Johnny going 1,2,3,4,5,6 and she was thinking she did a good job.
Then she walked past the next day and heard him saying real fast 3-5,3-5,3-5...

What did the astronaut say to the other when he pressed the wrong button?

I apollo-gize.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

The Jewish Elbow

A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301.
There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301.
I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."

"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these b**... with my elbow?

"What...you coming empty handed?"

What is the difference between a hyper-active gamer and someone with a predilection of violence towards sheep?

One's a button masher, and the other is a mutton basher.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Holding down the power button until my device turns off feels like strangling someone until they stop breathing.

Except I usually hope my device turns back on.

Saw a tv for sale on eBay for £5. Only problem was the volume button was broken.....

How can I turn that down?

I walked up to a guy in the gym.

I said, "How do you use this piece of equipment?"
"It's pretty simple," he replied, "Just push the button and it dries your hands..."

What is green and if you press a button its red?

A frog in a mixer.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I just got a new doorbell that when the button is pressed has a gorilla singing about table tennis.

It's called The King Kong ping pong Sing Song Ding d**...

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

John and Peter

John: Dude my girlfriend is pregnant, but I use a c**... every time.
Peter: Come here my dear friend and I will explain it to you
John: Ok.
Peter: A man went into the jungle with an umbrella. He saw a tiger coming right at him. He touched the button of his umbrella and the tiger died.
John: Haha!But that's impossible. Maybe someone else shot the tiger.
Peter: Exactly..

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

The inventor of the snooze button has passed away.

His f**... will take place tomorrow at 8:00, 8:06, 8:11, 8:13, and 8:14.

Why can't Chuck Norris complete forms and applications on the internet?

Because he can't bring himself to click the "submit" button.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What does an older woman have between her breast that a younger one doesnt?

Her belly button.

Twelve-year-old Timmy was talking with his classmate, Lisa...

Timmy: "Hey Lisa, I'll give you a dollar if we can go in the closet and you let me stick my finger in your belly button."
Lisa: "Okay."
They go into the dark closet.
Lisa: "Hey Timmy! That's not my belly button!"
Timmy: "That's okay. That's not my finger."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What's worse than a fat guy with a ridiculous haircut who's brainwashed his supporters into viewing him as a god whilst having his finger on the button for nuclear warfare?...

Two fat guys with ridiculous haircuts who've brainwashed their supporters into viewing them as gods whilst having their fingers on the b**... for nuclear warfare!
[Scariest of all is that it's true :( ]

What happens when you push a button

It gets depressed

Why was the button sad?

Because it was depressed

EA releases details about their new controller.

"It's not going to have a down button."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Working at a factory making huge calculator b**... isn't exactly my dreamjob, but at least my only task is to fabricate one kind of button.

That's a big plus.

I'm returning my microwave to Amazon.

It's been a week since I hit the pizza button and they have yet to deliver.

Kim Jong Un: I have a big button on my desk Donald Trump: I have a big button on my desk

Hawaii Emergency Alert Guy: Hold my beer

My friends distanced themselves from me because I became convinced that I was a power button.

Anyway, I'm off.

I can watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Button over and over.

Never gets old.

I had a friend who said he liked to practice self control.

I didn't know what he meant until I saw him press the cross walk button only once.

I do 10 sit ups every morning

It might not sound like much, but there are only so many times you can hit the snooze button.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What's a n**...'s favorite button combo on a keyboard?

Alt-right.
I'll see myself out.

Fat fashion designer has found a time machine

Thinking about how many opportunities of discovery await him, he went inside and clicked a button.
He soon found himself in ancient rome. He noticed all the plebs wearing cool ancient clothes so he quickly went to the nearest shopping centre.
Being fat himself, he asked the shopkeeper if they can sell him XL shirts. That question made the shopkeeper curious, thus he asked the designer:
\-Do you really want to purchase that many shirts?

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Your mom drinks so much...

she gets smashed more than the like button.

Kids who are visiting Disneyland for the first time get a button that says It's my first time at Disneyland!

Do Make-a-Wish kids get a button that says It's my last time at Disneyland! ?

Why is the I phone x the first phone an orphan gets?

Because there is no home button

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these b**... with my elbow?...
"What, you're coming empty handed?"

Something stinks on my flight

I can't find it. I know I'm not the only one. Everybody around me has scrunched up faces. Someone hit the flight attendant button. The flight attendant notices quickly as well, and begins searching for the source. She starts ripping open the overhead storage bins, smelling each one cautiously. With a wretch, she grabs one case from above, yanks it to the ground and opens it to find a dead rabbit. The owner immediately jumps up and tells, "Hey, that's my carrion!"

Jack was doing his online classes when he got bored and decided needed to say something, so he clicked the raise hand button.

Mr.Cooper (the teacher) said,
"Yes Jack?"
Jack replies with,
"Oh sorry sir I was just stretching."

I bought a used universal remote at a flea market

The volume down button was broken but it only cost a nickel.... I couldn't turn it down.

The only time I've been mechanically inclined

Is when I press the recline button on my couch

A man realized he needed to pu...

A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but didn't want to spend a lot of money. "How much do they cost?" he asked the salesman.
"Anything from $2 to $2,000."
"Can I see the $2 model?" said the customer.
The salesman put the device around the man's neck, and said: "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down into your pocket."
"How does it work?" asked the customer.
"For $2, it doesn't work," said the salesman. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder."

How do you win an argument with your family this Thanksgiving?

Click the 'End Meeting' button

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson, who is coming to visit with his wife:

You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in apartment 14T.
There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow push button 14T. I will buzz you in.
Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow hit 14. When you get out I am on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell".
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all these b**... with my elbow"?
You're coming empty handed"?

A man with a piece of paper in his hand comes into an office...

another man is sitting next to a shredding machine.
"Do you know how to operate this thing?" he asks. "I have an important paper here and I want to make sure this is done right."
"Sure," the other man answers. "Just put the paper in here and press this button."
The first man does so, saying, "Great. And where do the copies come out?"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

"If you could push a button and would receive $100 million, but you would whipe out 50% of the earth's human population (without anyone knowing it was you), would you push that button?"

A friend of ours: "I vould push it three times".

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A visit to my grandmother

A grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson, who is coming to visit with his wife:
"You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in apartment 14T.
There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow push button 14T.
I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right.
Get in, and with your elbow hit 14.
When you get out I am on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell".
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all these b**... with my elbow"?
"You're coming empty handed"?

Slots

A woman is on vacation in Las Vegas, playing the slot machines. It's her first time in a casino, so she asks a casino employee, "How does this work?" The worker shows her how to insert a bill, how to hit the spin button, and to operate the machine's release handle. "And where does the money come out?" the woman asks.
The casino employee smiles, motions to the far wall, and says, "Usually at the ATM."

Button joke, Slots

jokes about button