Buttocks Jokes

26 buttocks jokes and hilarious buttocks puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about buttocks that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Buttocks Short Jokes

Short buttocks jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The buttocks humour may include short thighs jokes also.

  1. My grandfather once boasted he could hit a man between the buttocks from 200 yards with iron sights That's quite the crack shot
  2. The Sun God Helios, feeling lazy, stuck his bare glowing buttocks over the horizon... ... it was the crack of dawn.
  3. Dr Watson asks Sherlock Holmes... "Holmes, why are you spreading fruit juice on my buttocks?"
    "Lemon entry dear Watson, Lemon entry"
  4. A man is in urgent need for transplant buttocks after an accident. Doctors report no end in sight.
  5. What's The Difference Between A Breeze On A Cattle Farm And A Frenchman's Buttocks? One is dairy air, and the other is derriere.
  6. There was once a psych researcher with a rare genetic defect that gave her four buttocks. She was fired for being bi-assed.
  7. There's a technique that pianists use to bring emotion to their playing by leaning on only one buttock. To be honest, I think that technique sounds pretty half-arsed to me.
  8. The other day I stopped to pick buttercups, what buttocks were doing on the floor I don't know.
  9. Do you know if it's possible to have a skin graft from your buttocks and donate to someone who isn't a relative? a**... skin for a friend.
  10. John Travolta has just been accused of s**... assaulting a masseur by groping his buttocks. Let's just hope this story has a happy ending.

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Buttocks One Liners

Which buttocks one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with buttocks? I can suggest the ones about backside and boobies.

  1. What do you call an Avogadro's number of buttocks? Molasses.
  2. A lady was accused of slapping the buttocks of Dwayne Johnson She hit rock bottom
  3. What is your favorite kind of butter? Personally, mine is buttocks.
  4. I have a great friend in Rome She's called Incontinentia Buttocks.
  5. How do you know your rear end has something to say? Your buttocks
  6. What does one buttock say to the other buttock? Don't cross the line
  7. Ten ants are gathered on a mans buttocks, which two are fighting? The two in the ring.

Buttocks joke, Ten ants are gathered on a mans buttocks, which two are fighting?

Great Buttocks Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends

What funny jokes about buttocks you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean butch jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make buttocks pranks.

A husband and wife are in a car c**...

They are both badly injured, but recover soon enough. However, the wife's face was badly injured during the c**... and she needs a skin graft to replace the skin on her cheeks.
The doctor says "The good news is, we know just the place to find the skin for your cheeks." He turns to the husband and says, "The bad news, however, is that the skin needs to come from your buttocks."
The husband quickly agrees. The wife says, "Honey, are you sure?" He says, "Of course, you're my wife, I would do anything for you!"
And so, the operation occurs. The wife's face is as restored as can be.
A while later, the wife says "Honey, how can I ever thank you for this?"
"You don't need to. I get all the satisfaction I need when my dear mother-in-law kisses your cheek."

Three surgeons are talking about their favorite kinds of patients.

"My favorite patients are librarians." says the first surgeon. "They're easy to operate on because their organs are all in alphabetical order."
"My favorite patients are mathematicians." says the second surgeon. "They're easy to operate on because all their organs are numbered."
"My favorite patients are politicians." says the third surgeon. "They're the easiest to operate on because they have no guts, no brains, they're heartless and their heads and buttocks can easily be switched."

So this old guy is lying face down in the sand on a n**... beach.

A hot blonde comes along and starts rhythmically smacking his buttocks like drums.
Then the g**... flips around, grins toothlessly at her and says, Why don't you play the flute instead of the bongos?

A little boy never saw his buttocks.

The boy never saw his buttocks all these years. One day at school he did not complete his homework so got a spanking from the teacher on the bottoms. Sobbing he rushed home and to look at the damage turned towards a mirror and shouted..
"Oh my God she split it in half. "

If someone gets burn damage and needs a skin graft, can I donate buttock tissue to help them?

a**... skin for a friend.

Did you hear about the woman who injected concrete into her buttocks?

Talk about hitting rock bottom.
ALTERNATE: What a hard-a**....

Incontinentia Buttocks joke

Pontius Pilate: 'I will not have my fwends widiculed by the common soldiewy. Anybody else feel like a little... giggle... when I mention my fwiend... Biggus...'

[A guard s**...]

Pontius Pilate: '...Dickus?'

[More s**...]
Pontius Pilate: 'What about you? Do you find it... wisible... when I say the name... Biggus...'


Pontius Pilate: '...Dickus?'

[Both guards s**...]

Pontius Pilate: 'He has a wife, you know. You know what she's called? She's called... Incontinentia... Incontinentia Buttocks.'

Recently my friend told me he identifies as a pair of buttocks. Anyone have any advice?

a**...-kin for a friend.

Is it possible to give a skin-graft from your buttocks to somebody that isn't family?

a**...-skin for a friend

Buttocks joke, Is it possible to give a skin-graft from your buttocks to somebody that isn't family?