Buttered Toast Jokes

35 buttered toast jokes and hilarious buttered toast puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about buttered toast that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Buttered Toast Short Jokes

Short buttered toast jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The buttered toast humour may include short burnt toast jokes also.

  1. I am not sure how I feel about having toast for breakfast. On the upside, it's buttered.
    On the downside, it isn't.
  2. This morning i sneezed all over my toast while eating it... I can't believe it snot butter...
  3. I used to work at a restaurant, but I wasn't a good cook. I could make some good toast though. It was my bread and butter.
  4. What is the same with spreading butter on a toast and getting a woman to spread her legs?
    It is possible with a credit card, but much easier with a knife.
  5. Dont butter the WronG LoAF! Why cant Mom toast have be with Son Toast?
    Then they will be InBread
    And would be in quite the jam
    The father would get jelly
    So just loaf your siblings out of it.
  6. If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop it?
  7. Why was the umpire relieved after accidentally dropping his toast? Because it landed Butter Up!
  8. For me, having s**... is a lot like spreading butter on toast. It's possible with a credit card, but so much easier with a knife.
  9. Persuading girl into having s**... with you is like spreading the butter on a toast. It is possible with credit card, but it makes more sense using a knife.

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Buttered Toast One Liners

Which buttered toast one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with buttered toast? I can suggest the ones about toasted bread and french toast.

  1. Last night, a guy tried to stab me with a butter knife He said i was toast.
  2. Just sneezed all over my toast I can't believe it snot butter.
  3. Peanut butter was driving his toast when suddenly... ..there was a jam
  4. I like my women like I like my toast Hot, and consumable with butter
  5. What does the boy from Manila spread on his toast? Filipeanut Butter.
  6. get the butter out hillary is toast!
  7. How did the politician spread his butter on his toast? He used smear tactics!
  8. What's drier than toast without butter? My sense of humor.
  9. I'd like to make a toast... Someone get me some bread and butter
  10. What does Bob Marley put on his toast? Peanut butter and jammin!

Buttered Toast Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about buttered toast you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cinnamon toast jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make buttered toast pranks.

Joe was heading towards the end of a round of golf...

...when hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty, yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.
All of a sudden, p**...! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared.
She yelled, I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups?
Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life.
Better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life.
As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!!!
Then p**...! she was gone!
After Joe recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, Bill, where are you?
Bill yells back, I'm over here in the pussywillows.

A boy and his father are playing catch

A boy and his father were playing catch in the front yard when the
boy saw a honey bee. He ran over and stomped it.
"That was a honey bee," his father said,"one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without honey for a week."
Later the boy saw a butterfly so he ran over and stomped it.
"That was a butterfly," his father said, "one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without butter for a week."
The next morning the family had sat down for breakfast. The boy ate his plain toast (no honey or butter.)
Suddenly a cockroach ran from under the stove. His mother stomped it.
The boy looked at his father and said, "Are you going to tell her or
should I"?

"Hey Jaeger, are you enjoying that apple?"
"Sure, why do you ask."
"I was going to offer you some toast."
"How kind of... I'll accept."
"Great, but what's toast without any butter Jaeger."
"You're right about that!"
"Well give me a few seconds, let me go scrape some off of your mother's teeth!"

Two men are making breakfast.

Two men are making breakfast.
As one is buttering the toast, he says, Did you ever notice that if you drop a piece of toast, it always lands butter side down?
The second guy says, No, I bet it just seems that way because it's so unpleasant to clean up the mess when it lands butter side down. I bet it lands butter side up just as often.
The first guy says, Oh, yeah? Watch this. He drops the toast to the floor, where it lands butter side up.
The second guy says, See, I told you.
The first guy says, Oh, I see what happened. I buttered the wrong side!

Restaurant Order

A resident in a hotel breakfast room called the waiter to his table.
"I want two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked it's runny, and the other so overcooked, it's tough and hard to eat. Also, give me some grilled bacon that has been left on the plate to get cold; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it's impossible to spread; and a p**... of very weak coffee, luke-warm."
"That's a complicated order, Sir," said the bewildered waiter. "It might be quite difficult to prepare."
The guest replied, "Oh? But that's what I got yesterday!!"

A piece of butter...

A piece of butter, Joe, has lived a long, satisfying life. He's very content with it, and he realizes that he should end his life here, on a happy note. However, before he does so, he wants to cross a few things off of his "butter list".
First, Joe finds a nearby piece of toast, and hops onto it. He spreads himself out, and relaxes there for a little while. It's fun, but he still doesn't feel completely fulfilled with his life.
Next, Joe searches for a second starchy food to hang out on. He picks a bagel, and stays even longer than he did on the toast. The feeling of being split into a circle revs his engine, and it's hard for him to leave.
Finally, Joe finds a third food and spreads on it. He stays a very long time, and another piece of butter comes over to see what's going on. Joe tells him, "I wanted to experience some new things before I die. But now that I've done all of them, I think it's a good time to go. Nice knowing you!"
He is about to pass away when the other butter stops him. "Wait, Joe!" he cries. "Don't stop now; you're on a roll!"

An Australian man was having coffee...

and toast with butter and jam in a cafe, when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him.
The Australian politely ignored the American who, nevertheless, started up a conversation. The American snapped the gum in his mouth and said, 'Do you Australian folk eat the whole bread?'
The Australian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, "yeah, of course."
The American blew a huge bubble. "We don't. In the States we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Australia."
The American had a smirk on his face, the Australian listened in silence. The American persisted, "D'ya eat jam with the bread?" Sighing, the Australian replied "yes."
Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said, "We don't. In the States we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, we put all the peels, seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam, and sell it to Australia.
The Australian then asked, "Do you have s**... in the States?" The American smiled and said, "yeah, of course we do." The Australian leant closer to him and asked, "what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
"We throw them away of course" replied the American.
Now it was the Australian's turn to smile. "We don't. In Australia, we put them in containers, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to The United States.