Following is our collection of funny Butter jokes. There are some butter butterfly jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these butter cockporn puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."
A woman is buying groceries, she buys a banana, some milk and butter. At the checkout the clerk looks at her then the items in her basket and while scanning them says I can tell that you're single . The woman smiles and asks how can you tell and the clerk responds because you're ugly .
One spreads easily and the other is peanut butter
You know what, never mind. I don't want to spread it around.
A peanut was stuck on the tracks
His heart was all a flutter
A train came down the track
*Choo Choo!*
Peanut butter.
stopped 'cause they couldn't handle it.
It is possible with credit card, but it makes more sense using a knife.
How dairy.
It's possible with a credit card, but so much easier with a knife.
But I can't. I'm on a roll now
Because it was a moth ball.
You can explore butter cream reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean butter crisco dad jokes. There are also butter puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
My grandma rubbed butter on granddad's feet when he was ill. He went downhill fast after that.
Last Halloween, I went to a costume party. I spot a guy dressed in a monkey costume with a jar of peanut butter in one hand and a chocolate bar in the other. I asked him what he was dressed as, and he replied, "Me? I am a Reese's Monkey."
I don't want to tell you because you might spread it around...
BONUS:
What concert is cheaper than 50 cents to attend?
50 Cent feat. Nickelback
*BUHDUMCHHH*
...when the guy in front of me turned around and started throwing milk, eggs, yoghurt and butter at me.
I thought, "How dairy!".
I call it my Reeces Pieces Thesis.
.
.
.
.
I'll see myself out.
He has been suspicious of his wife cheating on him. So he places under his bed a spoon attached to a string that hangs on the metal frame with a bowl of milk under it. He measures the weight of his wife in bed alone to make sure it is not in the milk unless there is more weight.
The man leaves and comes home after a few days and looks under his bed to find a bowl of butter.
Never mind, I better not spread it.
He said i was toast.
It's much easier with a knife.
A boy and his father were playing catch in the front yard when the
boy saw a honey bee. He ran over and stomped it.
"That was a honey bee," his father said,"one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without honey for a week."
Later the boy saw a butterfly so he ran over and stomped it.
"That was a butterfly," his father said, "one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without butter for a week."
The next morning the family had sat down for breakfast. The boy ate his plain toast (no honey or butter.)
Suddenly a cockroach ran from under the stove. His mother stomped it.
The boy looked at his father and said, "Are you going to tell her or
should I"?
he went downhill pretty quickly after that.
with lots of butter of course!
1.sugar
2.honey
3.flour
4.egg
5.1/2 lb butter
6.stir
7.pour into pan
8.preheat to 375Β°
it churned out to be butter.
French and covered in butter.
To go with the traffic jam.
the milk responded "im just a bit stirred up but ill be butter in a while"
A man is on home hospice, terminally ill and barely clinging to life. Well one afternoon he smells his absolute favorite thing in the whole world, peanut butter cookies, baking downstairs. After hours of anticipation the cookies don't come upstairs for him.
So he, against all odds, unhooks his IV's, creaks to his feet, and hobbles slowly down stairs where he beholds a platter of the cookies on the counter. He feebly reaches out for one and his wife slaps his hand away angrily.
"No! Those are for the funeral!"
In bread.
it just isn't my jam.
...It's butter this way
When I killed a honeybee dad told me no honey for a week.
When I killed a butterfly he said no butter for a week.
Well mom just killed a cockroach,
should I tell her for you?
I don't know if I should spread it.
How dairy..
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?
At Family Dinner:
Son: Dad, remember when I killed that butterfly and you told me, "no butter for a week?"
Dad: yeah...
Son: and when sis killed that honeybee and you said, "no honey for a week?"
Dad: yeah, that was a month ago. So what?
Son: Mom just killed a cockroach, should I break it to her?
Son, with enough peanut butter every dog is a wiener dog.
Mom kills a cockroach. The little boy turns to his dad and says, "Are you gonna tell her or should i do it?"
Now it's a butterfly
*My six year old just dropped this on me
after that he went downhill very quickly
It's margarinely better.
Everyone's spreading it.
I told her she would roux the day.
...and says, "Oh my god, I'm turning into my mother!"
Never mind, I shouldn't spread it.
They are both usually in bread.
Even with butter, children will still not like them
Because they like it inbread.
How dairy
It's okay. I shouldn't spread it
net margarines
that there are no peanut butter fish.
His dad says, "No butter for one week!" Little Johnny kills a honeybee. Dad says, "No honey for one week!" Mom kills a cockroach. Little Johnny turns to his dad and says, "shall I break the news to her?"
...by a large margarine.
They both spread for bread.
...but you have to promise you won't spread it around.
"you could walk into a grocery store with 2 dollars in your pocket, and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs, and a bit of butter as well."
"But today," he continued, "wherever you go - there are cameras."
I'm on page 122, but no matter how much butter I use, it still just tastes like paper.
I would tell you but you might spread it...
How dairy.
A stomach cake!
His dad looked at him disappointed and said,
"Son, because you killed that butterfly you won't get butter for a week."
A month later he killed a honeybee, his dad looked at him and said,
"Son, because you killed that honeybee you won't get honey for a week."
The boy looks at his father and says, "I also killed a cockroach."
The dad laughs at him and said, "Nice Try!"
To see a butterfly!
Again, thanks dad.
The son steps on a butterfly. The father jokes : Your going to have to eat some butter now!
When they return back to their home, they find the kid's mother cooking in the kitchen. She accidentally steps on a cockroach. The son says to the father : I'll leave you guys to it then.
It's said to have a very low margarine of error.
His mother kills a cockroach. He looks at his dad and says, are you going to tell her or should I?
Perhaps someone could clarify.
Well, I'm not going to spread it!
Have you guys seen the new Land O Lakes butter packaging? They removed the Native American girl from their labels to be more politically correct.
Now that's the most American thing I've ever seen; remove the Indian and keep the land.
How dairy!
She told me I could have all the churned dairy products and preserved fruit I could ever want, but first I had to marry her and sign a legally binding agreement that she would get it all back if we ever got divorced
Until that day I'd never believed the legends of the prenup butter and jelly sand witch
You butter believe it
He looks and sees shelves completely covered with boxes of salt. All over the grocery store, hundreds and hundreds of boxes of salt. So he says to the grocer, Listen, I don't want to pry, but do you sell a lot of salt? And the grocery man says, Me, if I'll sell a box of salt a month, I'm lucky. But the guy that sells me salt⦠Boy, can he sell salt."
He'll be churning in his grave.
So you know I'm going to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it!
You butter believe it.
He was a hardened creaminal
Well.......... I'm not gonna be the one who spreads it!
"Your deserve butter."
Or I'll feel desserted!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the butter flour jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working butter bread piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.