Butter Jokes
153 butter jokes and hilarious butter puns to laugh out loud. Read food jokes about butter that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Get ready for a good laugh! Check out this compilation of butter-related jokes, from butter chicken to nutella and butter knives. From the simply funny to the entertainingly offbeat, this article has something for everyone. Read on for a unique selection of butter-related jokes.
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Funniest Butter Short Jokes
Short butter jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The butter humour may include short margarine jokes also.
- My 9 year old just told me this joke and I thought I would share What do you call rich peanut butter?
Jif Bezos - I am not sure how I feel about having toast for breakfast. On the upside, it's buttered.
On the downside, it isn't. - Cute names to call your girlfriend with 1.sugar
2.honey
3.flour
4.egg
5.1/2 lb butter
6.stir
7.pour into pan
8.preheat to 375° - Dad, is that dog over there a wiener dog? Son, with enough peanut butter every dog is a wiener dog.
- In Alabama, when served rolls, they never serve the butter on the side. Because they like it inbread.
- Have you guys heard the story about the butter? You know what, never mind. I don't want to spread it around.
- Old people love My grandma rubbed butter on granddad's feet when he was ill. He went downhill fast after that.
- I bet jellyfish are sad... that there are no peanut butter fish.
- What does a stripper and peanut butter have in common. They both spread for bread.
- My wife insisted on mixing the butter and flour together. I told her she would roux the day.
Share These Butter Jokes With Friends
Butter One Liners
Which butter one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with butter? I can suggest the ones about jelly and honey.
- Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!
- My friends keep telling me to stop impersonating butter. But I can't. I'm on a roll now
- I think butter substitutes are better than butter But only margarinely
- For me, getting girls is like spreading butter... It's much easier with a knife.
- I like my butter how I like my family In bread.
- A man just assaulted me with milk, butter and cheese How dairy
- I'm sorry, when I said "butter" I really meant "ghee". I should have clarified.
- Did you guys hear the rumor about the butter? I don't know if I should spread it.
- Did you hear the rumour about butter? Never mind, I better not spread it.
- Last night, a guy tried to stab me with a butter knife He said i was toast.
- How do ghosts make friends? By buttering a flight of stairs.
- Why did the man smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam.
- My grandpa was buried with his entire butter making kit. He'll be churning in his grave.
- Did you hear the rumor going around about butter? Never mind, I shouldn't spread it.
- I heard a rumour about butter... Everyone's spreading it.
Peanut Butter Jokes
Here is a list of funny peanut butter jokes and even better peanut butter puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did Peanut butter not open the door for the Jelly?... Because it was already ajar.
(Sorry, I'm a dad.) - What do peanut butter and prostitutes have in common? They both spread for bread.
- What do Southerners have in common with peanut butter? They are both usually in bread.
- What fish tastes great with peanut butter? Jellyfish
- An old joke I learnt [Clean] A peanut was stuck on the tracks
His heart was all a flutter
A train came down the track
*Choo Choo!*
Peanut butter. - What's the difference between girls of our generation and peanut butter? One spreads easily and the other is peanut butter
- I have a theory that consuming little bits of peanut butter encased in colored candy shells provokes silly rhymes. I call it my Reeces Pieces Thesis.
.
.
.
.
I'll see myself out. - I don't like peanut butter... it just isn't my jam.
- I got peanut butter on my camera Now every picture is a jif
- Have you heard of the peanut butter song? It's my jam.
Butter Knife Jokes
Here is a list of funny butter knife jokes and even better butter knife puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Spreading girls's legs is alot like spreading butter You can do it with a credit card, but it's much easier with a knife
- Using a butter knife on steak... it just doesn't cut it.
- A man has an option to turn into any object in the universe, he chose a butter knife. He wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer...
- Why did the butter break up with the knife? It kept getting left on bread.
- What is the same with spreading butter on a toast and getting a woman to spread her legs?
It is possible with a credit card, but much easier with a knife. - What is a butter knife's favorite song? I Wanna Be Serrated 🤘😁🤘
- Spreading a woman's legs is like spreading butter... It can be done with a credit card, but I prefer to use a knife.
- A woman's legs are a lot like peanut butter It's much easier to get them to spread if you have a knife
- Why didn't the fork and spoon want to hang out with the butter knife? He was just too dull.
- Chuck Norris cut's a knife with butter.
Clarified Butter Jokes
Here is a list of funny clarified butter jokes and even better clarified butter puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I've never understood the difference between butter and ghee. Perhaps someone could clarify.
- I was reading an Indian cookbook the other day. The recipe asked for butter, they actually meant Ghee... They should have clarified
- I said 'butter' when I really meant 'ghee' I should have clarified
- I asked my waiter for drawn butter with my lobster… He said no. When I asked why not, he said he couldn't clarify.
- I love clarified butter but it makes me urinate way too frequently Ghee whizz
- How do you turn butter into clarified butter? By explaining it.
- A stick of butter is at a party. He overhears a conversation in which someone is giving incorrect facts to prove their point. He steps in, and says Actually... Clarified butter.
- My customer service rep asked if everything was good, after I posed the same Q in three different ways I said, I like my answers like I like my butter: clarified.
- Butter joke Why did the butter repeat itself to the lobster?
It needed to clarify. - There used to be an amazing Indian restaurant that cooked everything in clarified butter. It was called "The Ghee Spot". Went out of business because no one could find it...
Peanut Butter Dog Jokes
Here is a list of funny peanut butter dog jokes and even better peanut butter dog puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I wish my girlfriend was like my dog Could lick peanut butter off me any time of the day
- My dog really likes peanut butter Especially the kind with nuts inside
- How do you get a dog to lick itself clean like a cat? Cover it in peanut butter.
- I tried the whole Peanut Butter-and-d**... thing with my dog ...but the Peanut Butter just kept sticking to the roof of my mouth.
- My dog ate a package of peanut butter cups. Now he's p**... out Reeses f**....
- My uncle invented this one today. What is the best part of a dog eating peanut butter?
He has no hands to pick the p**... out. - What's the most difficult thing about training a dog? Getting the peanut butter out of your p**... hair
- How do you stop a dog from h**... your leg? Put peanut butter on it.
- As far as my dog knows... ...d**... taste like peanut butter.
Hilarious Butter Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about butter you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean milk jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make butter pranks.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month."
Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."
A woman is buying groceries
A woman is buying groceries, she buys a banana, some milk and butter. At the checkout the clerk looks at her then the items in her basket and while scanning them says I can tell that you're single . The woman smiles and asks how can you tell and the clerk responds because you're ugly .
I used to make jokes about people with butter fingers;
stopped 'cause they couldn't handle it.
I've got butterflies in my stomach...
That's the last time I eat a cocoon.
Persuading girl into having s**... with you is like spreading the butter on a toast.
It is possible with credit card, but it makes more sense using a knife.
So I was walking past my local supermarket the other day and a man started to throw cheese, butter and milk at me.
How dairy.
For me, having s**... is a lot like spreading butter on toast.
It's possible with a credit card, but so much easier with a knife.
Why didn't the butterfly go to the dance?
Because it was a moth ball.
Last Halloween
Last Halloween, I went to a costume party. I spot a guy dressed in a monkey costume with a jar of peanut butter in one hand and a chocolate bar in the other. I asked him what he was dressed as, and he replied, "Me? I am a Reese's Monkey."
Have you guys heard the secret about butter?
I don't want to tell you because you might spread it around...
BONUS:
What concert is cheaper than 50 cents to attend?
50 Cent feat. Nickelback
*BUHDUMCHHH*
I was walking down the road...
...when the guy in front of me turned around and started throwing milk, eggs, yoghurt and butter at me.
I thought, "How dairy!".
A man is getting ready to go on a business trip...
He has been suspicious of his wife cheating on him. So he places under his bed a spoon attached to a string that hangs on the metal frame with a bowl of milk under it. He measures the weight of his wife in bed alone to make sure it is not in the milk unless there is more weight.
The man leaves and comes home after a few days and looks under his bed to find a bowl of butter.
A boy and his father are playing catch
A boy and his father were playing catch in the front yard when the
boy saw a honey bee. He ran over and stomped it.
"That was a honey bee," his father said,"one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without honey for a week."
Later the boy saw a butterfly so he ran over and stomped it.
"That was a butterfly," his father said, "one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without butter for a week."
The next morning the family had sat down for breakfast. The boy ate his plain toast (no honey or butter.)
Suddenly a cockroach ran from under the stove. His mother stomped it.
The boy looked at his father and said, "Are you going to tell her or
should I"?
I remember not long before grandpa died we covered his back with butter
he went downhill pretty quickly after that.
I am 20, Male, Dyslexic and love cockporn
with lots of butter of course!
I thought the recipe was for making margarine, however,
it churned out to be butter.
I like my bread the way I like my women...
French and covered in butter.
An elderly man was on his deathbed.
A man is on home hospice, terminally ill and barely clinging to life. Well one afternoon he smells his absolute favorite thing in the whole world, peanut butter cookies, baking downstairs. After hours of anticipation the cookies don't come upstairs for him.
So he, against all odds, unhooks his IV's, creaks to his feet, and hobbles slowly down stairs where he beholds a platter of the cookies on the counter. He feebly reaches out for one and his wife slaps his hand away angrily.
"No! Those are for the f**...!"
What did the milk say after it got beat?
...It's butter this way
When I killed a...
When I killed a honeybee dad told me no honey for a week.
When I killed a butterfly he said no butter for a week.
Well mom just killed a cockroach,
should I tell her for you?
A man robbed me of all my milk, cream, cheese, and butter.
How dairy..
While playing in the backyard, Johnny kills a honeybee
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?
n**... Son: Dad, remember when I killed that butterfly........
At Family Dinner:
Son: Dad, remember when I killed that butterfly and you told me, "no butter for a week?"
Dad: yeah...
Son: and when sis killed that honeybee and you said, "no honey for a week?"
Dad: yeah, that was a month ago. So what?
Son: Mom just killed a cockroach, should I break it to her?
A little boy kills a butterfly. Dad says, "No butter for one week!" The little boy kills a honeybee. Dad says, "No honey for one week!"
Mom kills a cockroach. The little boy turns to his dad and says, "Are you gonna tell her or should i do it?"
A fly just fell into my butter
Now it's a butterfly
*My six year old just dropped this on me
When my granddad was ill the doctor told us to put butter on his back
after that he went downhill very quickly
How to make Emo Cupcakes
What You'll need:
Cupcake Tray
An oven
Milk
Butter
Eggs
Flour
Sugar
We're
Going
Down
Swingin'
I found a butter replacement today...
It's margarinely better.
A butterfly climbs out of its chrysalis...
...and says, "Oh my god, I'm turning into my mother!"
What's the similarity between s**... and broccoli?
Even with butter, children will still not like them
Did you hear the rumor about the butter?
It's okay. I shouldn't spread it
How does a butter company measure its revenues?
net margarines
Little Johnny kills a butterfly
His dad says, "No butter for one week!" Little Johnny kills a honeybee. Dad says, "No honey for one week!" Mom kills a cockroach. Little Johnny turns to his dad and says, "shall I break the news to her?"
I'm trying to cut butter out of my diet...
...by a large margarine.
I want to tell you a joke about butter...
...but you have to promise you won't spread it around.
"Back in the day," my grandfather started to say,
"you could walk into a grocery store with 2 dollars in your pocket, and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs, and a bit of butter as well."
"But today," he continued, "wherever you go - there are cameras."
I wanted to improve my cooking skills, so I finally decided to cook my way through Julia Child's cookbook
I'm on page 122, but no matter how much butter I use, it still just tastes like paper.
You guys hear the rare joke about the butter?
I would tell you but you might spread it...
Man just attacked me with milk, cream and butter
How dairy.
What do you get when you eat unsalted butter, all-purpose flour, baking powder, sugar, raw eggs, vanilla extract and whole milk?
A stomach cake!
A little boy killed a butterfly.
His dad looked at him disappointed and said,
"Son, because you killed that butterfly you won't get butter for a week."
A month later he killed a honeybee, his dad looked at him and said,
"Son, because you killed that honeybee you won't get honey for a week."
The boy looks at his father and says, "I also killed a cockroach."
The dad laughs at him and said, "Nice Try!"
Why did the little boy throw a stick of butter out of the window?
To see a butterfly!
Again, thanks dad.
A father and his son went outside for a walk.
The son steps on a butterfly. The father jokes : Your going to have to eat some butter now!
When they return back to their home, they find the kid's mother cooking in the kitchen. She accidentally steps on a cockroach. The son says to the father : I'll leave you guys to it then.
Have you heard of this new butter dish that can precisely measure servings for you?
It's said to have a very low margarine of error.
A little boy kills a butterfly and his dad says, no butter for 2 weeks. He kills a honeybee and his dad says, no honey for two weeks.
His mother kills a cockroach. He looks at his dad and says, are you going to tell her or should I?
Land O Lakes
Have you guys seen the new Land O Lakes butter packaging? They removed the Native American girl from their labels to be more politically correct.
Now that's the most American thing I've ever seen; remove the Indian and keep the land.
Can you believe a man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter...
How dairy!
I met a sorceress in the desert once
She told me I could have all the churned dairy products and preserved fruit I could ever want, but first I had to marry her and sign a legally binding agreement that she would get it all back if we ever got divorced
Until that day I'd never believed the legends of the prenup butter and jelly sand witch
Because of my cakeday, I'm going to make a joke about cake
You butter believe it
A guy walks into a grocery store and says "I want half a pound of butter"
He looks and sees shelves completely covered with boxes of salt. All over the grocery store, hundreds and hundreds of boxes of salt. So he says to the grocer, Listen, I don't want to pry, but do you sell a lot of salt? And the grocery man says, Me, if I'll sell a box of salt a month, I'm lucky. But the guy that sells me salt… Boy, can he sell salt."
Would I post a bad joke on my cake day?
You butter believe it.
Butter get some upvotes on cake day..
Or I'll feel desserted!
Made some Indian food for dinner the other night. While telling my wife what was in it, I said I'd used butter in one part, but wished I'd had some ghee instead. She looked at me quizzically, and I continued "Because it's more traditionally Indian."
"Ah," she replied. "Thanks for clarifying."
Note: this actually happened! She's a gem and I'm keeping her.
Presidential
Jill and Joe Biden go to a steakhouse for dinner. Jill says, I will have the petite filet medium rare with a baked potato with sour cream and butter. The waiter asks, What about your vegetable? Jill replies, Oh, he will have the same.
