Butler Jokes

A lady calls her butler into her room and says, "Jeeves, take off my dress"

He casually says, "Yes, Madam", and removes the dress. Then she says, "Jeeves, take off my underwear". Again, he says, "Yes, Madam" and removes the undergarment. She then says, "Jeeves, take off my bra". Again, with no hesitation he says, "Yes, Madam" and removes the bra. Then she says, "Now out of my sight! If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired!"

A Rich Woman And Her Butler

A rich couple was going out for the evening. The lady of the house decided to give the butler,
Throckmorton, the night off.

She said they would be home very late and he should just enjoy his evening.

As it turned out, the wife didn't have a good time at the party, so she came home early.
She walked into the house and eyed Throckmorton sitting alone in the dining room.
She called for him to follow her. She led him to the master bedroom.
She closed and locked the door. She looked at him and smiled.

"Throckmorton. Take off my dress." He did so, carefully.

"Throckmorton. Take off my stockings and garter." He silently obeyed her.

"Throckmorton. Remove my bra and panties." The tension mounted as he complied.

Finally she looked at him and said,
"Throckmorton. If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired."

A rich woman feigns illness andbleavesba party early

When she gets home, she calls the butler to her bedroom.
"Jeeves? Take off my coat."
"Yes, madam."
"Jeeves, remove my high heels."
"Yes, madam."
"Jeeves, unzip my dress, and remove it...throw it on the floor!
"Yes, madam."
"Jeeves, remove my brassiere and panties."
"Yes, madam."
"Jeeves?"
"Yes, madam?"
"If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired."

Ask Jeeves

A rich married couple went out to a fancy dinner, leaving their butler Jeeves behind.

Halfway through the dinner the wife excuses herself and tells her husband she'll see him at home later.

Jeeves is suprised to see the wife home so early. She smiles and then directs him to her bedroom.

Once they're both in the bedroom the wife gets close to Jeeves and asks him softly to remove her dress for her.

He does so.

She then leans closer to Jeeves and gently asks if he could take off her bra and panties.

As asked Jeeves removes the bra and panties of his master's wife without hesitation.

The wife leans close enough to whisper into Jeeves ear, "Now don't ever let me catch you wearing my clothes again."

Ask Jeeves

A wealthy couple had planned to go out for the evening. The woman of the house decided to give their butler, Jerves, the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late, and that he should just enjoy his evening.

As it turned out, however, the wife wasn't having a good time at the party, so she came home early, alone. Her husband had to stay with the others since several of his important clients were there.

As the woman walked into her house, she saw Jerves sitting by himself in the dining room. She called for him to follow her, and led him into the master bedroom. She then closed and locked the door.

She looked at him and smiled. "Jerves," she said, "take off my dress." He did this carefully. "Jerves," she continued, "take off my stockings and garter." He silently obeyed her. "Jerves," she then said, "remove my bra and panties." As he did this, the tension continued to mount.

She looked at him and then said, "Jerves, if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired!"

A rich man decides to visit Europe

After a few weeks, he received a message from his butler simply saying, "Your dog is dead." Upon his return, the rich man began to scold the butler for how poorly he had handled the situation. "How should I have handled it sir?" The butler asked.
"Well, you could have started with, your dog is on the roof. Then you could have sent another that said, your dog has fallen off the roof and is grievously wounded. Finally, you could have sent another that said, your dog has moved on to his eternal reward."
A few years later, the man traveled to Asia. After a few weeks he received a letter from his butler saying, "Your mother is on the roof."

A lady and her butler

A rich couple was going out for the evening. The lady of the house decided to give the butler, Throckmorton, the night off.

She said they would be home very late and he should just enjoy his evening.

As it turned out, the wife didn't have a good time at the party, so she came home early. She walked into the house and eyed Throckmorton sitting alone in the dining room. She called for him to follow her. She led him to the master bedroom. She closed and locked the door. She looked at him and smiled.

"Throckmorton. Take off my dress." He did so, carefully.

"Throckmorton. Take off my stockings and garter." He silently obeyed her.

"Throckmorton. Remove my bra and panties." The tension mounted as he complied.

Finally she looked at him and said, "Throckmorton. If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired."

I wanted to hire a marsupial butler...

but none of the applicants were koala-fied.

A woman calls her butler into the bedroom

A woman calls her butler into the bedroom and says:

"Jeeves, take off my gloves."

Jeeves replies: "Yes my lady."

The lady then continues by saying:

"Now Jeeves, I want you take off my dress and corset."

Jeeves replies: "Of course, my lady."

The lady then says:

"Jeeves, now I want you to take off my undergarments."

Jeeves obliges the request and says:

"As you wish. Will there be anything else my lady?"

The lady replies:

"Yes Jeeves, please don't ever wear my clothes again."

A wealthy woman with a headache goes with her husband to a party.

After 20 minutes, she says, "Honey, I'm not feeling too well. You stay and have a nice time. I'll be at home waiting for you later.

She drives backs to her large home, walks upstairs, begins filling the tub, and walks into her bedroom. The butler is there.

She says to him, "Unbutton my shirt. Now, take it off. " He does. She says, "Take off my shoes and my skirt," so he does. She says, "Take off my bra." He complies. She says, "Now, I like you, and I won't say anything to my husband about this, but if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you'll be fired."

A friend of mine has a butler whose left arm is missing.

Serves him right

I managed to get a butler who works for free

I normally have really rotten luck, but I managed to get a butler who works for free. However, when I saw him, I realised he has lost his left arm;


Serves me right...

The General's Butler

A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his butler.

Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the army, the general said. Nothing to it, you'll catch on again fast.

Next morning promptly at eight o'clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, spanked his employer's wife on her bottom and said, OK, sweetheart, it's back to the village for you.

What is the perfect name for an Indian butler?

Mahatma Coat

What did Batman say when he found a stranger in the Batcave?

I can't believe it's not Butler

Lord Williams turns to his butler

Lord Williams turns to his butler: "Jones, please prepare my black suit and binoculars. I'm going to a funeral."

"But why do you need binoculars?" Asks Jones

"My distant relative has died." Says Lord Williams

The Duchess returned to the Manor one evening and encountered her butler in her boudoir

She looked the butler straight in the eye and said:

James, take off my dress. James took off her dress.

James, take off my petticoat. James took off her petticoat.

James, take off my bra. James took off her bra.

James, take off my panties. James took off her panties. The Duchess turned, faced her butler again and in a soft but firm voice said:

Now then, James, never let me catch you wearing my clothes again.

The billionaire was taking his bath when he had to fart...

Not wanting to embarrass himself in front of his manservant, he said "Jeeves, go downstairs and fetch me a cup of coffee."
"Very good, sir" said the butler and made for the bathroom door.
By now the billionaire was struggling to hold it in, but finally Jeeves closed the door behind him. A substantial and very satisfying eruption ensued.
A few minutes later, Jeeves returned, holding a cup of coffee. Tucked under his arm was a hot water bottle.
"What's that for? I only asked for a cup of coffee."
"But sir, as I closed the door, I distinctly heard you say 'waddaboudawaddaboddle'".

What do you call a butler with a new set of teeth?

An endentured servant

Mr.Bates gets a butler

(My dad told me this joke)
Butler:Good Morning Mr. Bates.
Bates: Please address me as master from now on
Butler: My sincere apologies Master Bates...

A 6th-grade teacher posed the following problem to one of her arithmetic classes:

A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars.

One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity.

Now, what does each get?

After a very long silence in the classroom, one little boy raised his hand.

With complete sincerity in his voice, answered, A lawyer!

I can't believe my son is dating a butler.

It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Jeeves.

What do Batman and Black Sabbath have in common?

They both have a geezer butler.

Imagine if Norman Bates had a butler.

How can I help you today, Master Bates?

A man by the name of Ronald Bates came home to find his butler being arrested...

"What in the world could my butler have done to be arrested?" Bates asked the police officer handcuffing the butler.
"We had a complaint from you next door neighbor that he was yelling obscene remarks," the police officer replied.
"Obscene remarks?!?! What was he saying?!?!"
"The neighbors say that, for a few minutes on end, he kept yelling 'Masturbates,' 'Masturbates!'

What do the elderly lord, lady and butler all have in common?

They all died in the same manor.

A Male Gigolo...

A male gigolo who doesn't have sex with his client is a butler.

What do you call a depressed butler?

A coat hanger.

James Bater had a tough time finding a butler.

Every single one he employed kept calling his son Master Bater.

What do you call an Indian butler?

Ma hat Ma coat

We have collected gags that can be used as Butler pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Butler, here are one liners and funny Butler pick up lines.

Joko Jokes