Comical Butchers Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
A man walks into a butchers...
The man says to the butcher "Are you a gambling man?" The butcher replies "Yes, you could say that." The man says "Okay then, I bet you $100 you can't reach that meat you've got hanging from the ceiling up there." The Butcher looks up and says "No sorry" The man says "I thought you said you were a gambling man, why not?" The butcher answers. "The steaks are too high."
I went to the butchers the other day and bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.
He sai: No, the steaks are too high.
Why aren't there any female butchers?
Because anytime they touch meat it turns to bone.
Have you heard about the Butchers 420 Dodgeball Classic?
It's a high steaks game.
What literary devices do butchers use?
Meataphors.
"Doctor I think I need glasses!"
"You certainly do Sir, this is the butchers."
I've just taken my sausages back to the butchers...
There was only a tiny bit of pork in the middle, the left and right sides were just pure breadcrumbs.
The butcher apologised and said that he was suffering financially, business was tough and he was finding it increasingly difficult to make ends meat.
I made a butchers club
The only problem is we can't agree to a meating time.
I was at the butchers the other day
And i thought while i'm there i'd have a gamble with the butcher. I bet him £10 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf, he said "nah mate, i'm not taking that bet, the steaks are too high."
Why do butchers avoid buying cattle from Colorado?
Because the steaks are too high.
I went to the butchers and asked if he had a lambs head
No he replied, it's just how I come my hair.
You can explore butchers slaughter reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean butchers misteak dad jokes. There are also butchers puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Where do lesbian's get their meat at?
The BUTCHers
I'm no expert
I was in the local butchers and they had on offer 8 LEGS OF VENISON FOR $88.
Now I'm no expert but I reckon that's two deer
What do butchers do on their holidays?
They go Chopping
A woman goes in to a butchers shop
Lady: Is that a pigs head in your window?
Butcher: No madam, it's a mirror.
What do competitive butchers say to each other?
I will beat your meat!
What was the butchers name who was also a knight?
Sir Loin.
I know a German couple who keep fighting in the butchers
I think they should just get die wurst.
Talking to a vegan today
I was talking to a vegan today and they said : "I think butchers or anyone who sells meat is disgusting ! " to which I replied "well I think people who sell fruit and veg are grocer"
Vegans think butchers are gross
But people who sell vegetables and fruits are grocer
What do you call a city of just butchers in Ohio?
Cleaveland.
I fancy having a bit of Rabbit for my dinner tonight.
Could anyone tell me if it's cheaper from a Butchers or a pet shop.?
Age old debate.
People these days always talk about how disgusting butchers and people who sell meat are, however I've found that people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.
A gang of midget burglars broke into a butchers but fled empty handed.
It seems the steaks were too high.
Holiday
Just walked past the Butchers Shop window, sign says Turkey £29. That's a bargain! £150 more at Thomas Cook. (UK only joke)
Never trust German butchers!
They said they had the best sausages in the world
But they kept showing me their wurst.
I went in the butchers the other day.
I said: "You've got a sheep's head in the window."
The butcher said: "That's a mirror."
Woman goes to the butchers, "I'd like an oxtail please."
"Certainly" replies the butcher. "Once upon a time, there was an ox........."
Man went to the butchers and asked if he had any ox tales
'Sure' replied the butcher 'once upon a time an ox…'
Sorry messed up title should read 'ox tails' whoops
