Butchers Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Butchers jokes. There are some butchers steaks jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these butchers slaughterhouse puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Comical Butchers Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land

A man walks into a butchers...

The man says to the butcher "Are you a gambling man?" The butcher replies "Yes, you could say that." The man says "Okay then, I bet you $100 you can't reach that meat you've got hanging from the ceiling up there." The Butcher looks up and says "No sorry" The man says "I thought you said you were a gambling man, why not?" The butcher answers. "The steaks are too high."

I went to the butchers the other day and bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.

He sai: No, the steaks are too high.

Why aren't there any female butchers?

Because anytime they touch meat it turns to bone.

Have you heard about the Butchers 420 Dodgeball Classic?

It's a high steaks game.

What literary devices do butchers use?


"Doctor I think I need glasses!"

"You certainly do Sir, this is the butchers."

I've just taken my sausages back to the butchers...

There was only a tiny bit of pork in the middle, the left and right sides were just pure breadcrumbs.

The butcher apologised and said that he was suffering financially, business was tough and he was finding it increasingly difficult to make ends meat.

Butchers joke, I've just taken my sausages back to the butchers...

I made a butchers club

The only problem is we can't agree to a meating time.

I was at the butchers the other day

And i thought while i'm there i'd have a gamble with the butcher. I bet him £10 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf, he said "nah mate, i'm not taking that bet, the steaks are too high."

Why do butchers avoid buying cattle from Colorado?

Because the steaks are too high.

I went to the butchers and asked if he had a lambs head

No he replied, it's just how I come my hair.

You can explore butchers slaughter reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean butchers misteak dad jokes. There are also butchers puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Where do lesbian's get their meat at?

The BUTCHers

I'm no expert

I was in the local butchers and they had on offer 8 LEGS OF VENISON FOR $88.
Now I'm no expert but I reckon that's two deer

What do butchers do on their holidays?

They go Chopping

A woman goes in to a butchers shop

Lady: Is that a pigs head in your window?

Butcher: No madam, it's a mirror.

What do competitive butchers say to each other?

I will beat your meat!

Butchers joke, What do competitive butchers say to each other?

What was the butchers name who was also a knight?

Sir Loin.

I know a German couple who keep fighting in the butchers

I think they should just get die wurst.

Talking to a vegan today

I was talking to a vegan today and they said : "I think butchers or anyone who sells meat is disgusting ! " to which I replied "well I think people who sell fruit and veg are grocer"

Vegans think butchers are gross

But people who sell vegetables and fruits are grocer

What do you call a city of just butchers in Ohio?


I fancy having a bit of Rabbit for my dinner tonight.

Could anyone tell me if it's cheaper from a Butchers or a pet shop.?

Age old debate.

People these days always talk about how disgusting butchers and people who sell meat are, however I've found that people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.

A gang of midget burglars broke into a butchers but fled empty handed.

It seems the steaks were too high.


Just walked past the Butchers Shop window, sign says Turkey £29. That's a bargain! £150 more at Thomas Cook. (UK only joke)

Never trust German butchers!

They said they had the best sausages in the world

But they kept showing me their wurst.

Butchers joke, Never trust German butchers!

I went in the butchers the other day.

I said: "You've got a sheep's head in the window."

The butcher said: "That's a mirror."

Woman goes to the butchers, "I'd like an oxtail please."

"Certainly" replies the butcher. "Once upon a time, there was an ox........."

Man went to the butchers and asked if he had any ox tales

'Sure' replied the butcher 'once upon a time an ox…'

Sorry messed up title should read 'ox tails' whoops

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the butchers cleaver puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working butchers bakeries piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes